


saving me with love

by RubyBD



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Detective Lexa, Doctor Clarke, Drug Use, F/F, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Guilt, Healing, Inappropriate Humor, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sassy Raven, Smut, anger issues, cute linctavia, moving over
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-24
Updated: 2017-02-18
Packaged: 2018-08-10 19:15:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 90,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7857766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RubyBD/pseuds/RubyBD
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After detective Alexandria woods finished her undercover mission that took two years of her life.<br/>She was forced to see a psychologist in order to get back to active duty. </p><p>Will she be able to forgive herself for what she did during undercover ?<br/>Cue enters clarke .</p><p>Will the beautiful blond Dr.CLarke Griffin help her get rid of her guilt</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. chapter one

**Author's Note:**

> first time writing anything hope you like it 
> 
> no TW applies on this chapter

Lexa is out of breath, her legs are aching, her skin is glistening with sweat, hair sticking to her neck, instead of hearing the sound her Nike is making against the treadmill all she can hear was her.

 

Instead of all the sports machines she’s surrounded by she can only see brown eyes, full of happiness brown eyes, full of sadness and then lifeless brown eyes.

 

(You have beautiful eyes)

Keeps running

(You're cute )

Keeps running

(I really like you)

Keeps running

(I love you)

Speed up the treadmill.

(I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry)

The treadmill comes to a stop, she can feel her lungs burning, her mind keeps playing tricks on her showing her what had happened. She’s still stuck in her thoughts when she hears a voice calling her name.  
She turns her head to see a familiar face her cousin Anya, stood in front of her 5,7 feet tall with her dirty blonde hair and dark brown eyes. Those fierce eyes and not to mention her very high cheekbones that Lexa swears can actually cut anything, basically her cousin looks intimidating but she knows better. Anya was loyal and so caring she would do anything for her family.

‘’Hey kiddo, I see you’re still at it. Isn't today, your first day back at the station? Shouldn’t you be preparing for that instead of being at the gym sweating your ass off’ Anya said with a teasing voice.

‘’I'm ready Anya, it's been 6 months, I'm sick of staying at home sitting on the couch doing nothing’’

‘’Well, I didn’t know spending time with me was that bad kiddo, beside you do know it’s your fault right. You refuse to go out every time me and Linc ask you‘’

‘’You know what I mean An, and you and Linc only wanna go with people I don’t know ‘’ Lexa said with an exasperated look on her face.

‘’That’s how you’re supposed to make new friends, genius. Really, Lex we need to do something about you, you’re acting like a 70 year old grandmother ’’ Anya says with an eye roll.

Lexa was so done with this conversation, she has been hearing Anya complaints about her not wanting to spend time with her friends for the last 6 months, ever since she finished her undercover mission. Six months since she last saw her..  
Lexa shakes her head, trying to keep her demons away. This isn’t the time, today is her first day back, she should be happy. Happy, she doesn’t even know if she can feel that ever again. She doesn’t know if she can feel anything again. Maybe she doesn’t deserve it, after all, it was her fault wasn’t it?

 

‘’Yoooo heeellooo earth to Lexa? Man, you’re really zoning out today ‘’ Anya says eyes watching Lexa’s face.

"I'm fine Anya, I should get going now, like you said I should be ready for my first day back" Lexa says forcing a small smile.

‘’Alright, but please take a shower first, cause you’re smelling of something and it ain't roses little cousin‘’ Anya says with a shit eating grin on her face.

‘’I kind of stink, don’t I? ‘’ Lexa says, smelling her T-shirt.

‘’Well, you said it, not me, but you really don’t wanna be stinky and gross for your first day" she said with a grimace.

‘’Gee thanks‘’ Lexa says with a raised eyebrow

‘’Stop with the stink eye, I swear to god one day your eyebrows are going to get stuck like this. Now move your ass so we can car pool‘’

‘’Sir. Yes, Sir, ’ Lexa says, lifting her hand to fake salute Anya.

Lexa went to the changing room taking a shower, she hoped maybe a shower could relax her a bit, washing off all the bad stuff that has happened and maybe she could control her nerves. ‘’You can do this‘’ she talks herself into being calm before she left the shower.

 

 

 

Later, on their way to the station, Lexa was fidgeting with her hands, and her legs were bouncing up and down non-stop.

‘’Alexandria Woods if you don’t stop right now‘’ Anya says without looking at Lexa, her eyes focusing on the road ahead.

‘’Sorry’’ the brunette says, eyes out of the window trying to avoid looking at the dirty blonde sitting next to her.

The car stopped at a red light and now Lexa was even more nervous because she can feel Anya’s gaze on her.

 

‘’Hey, you know you can do this right? You’re an amazing detective. Everyone is talking about what you did, hell every rookie wants to be you‘’ Anya says with a proud smile on her face.

 

‘’Yeah, right ‘’ she says sarcastically without even looking at Anya.

 

‘’Lex, if you needed more ti-’’  
Anya doesn’t get to finish her sentence because Lexa cuts her off ‘’ No! I had more than enough time, I had to beg the doctor to clear me for duty ‘’

 

‘’You were in a pretty bad shape when I got there ‘’ the dirty blonde said, remembering all too well how bad Lexa looked; beaten up and broken with blood all over her face and clothes. That’s a sight she never wants to see again.

‘’Let’s not do this now An‘’

‘’Okay, but you do know I'm here for you whenever you want’’ the older girl says voice dripping with concern .

‘’I know‘’

 

‘’We’re here‘’ Anya says, walking through the huge sliding doors of Polis police department.  
The Polis police department was more like a 5 stars hotel equipped with all state of the art programs and machines to make the detective work easier with a huge shooting range and a training facility with a big cafeteria on the second floor.

Lexa was walking behind Anya until Anya stopped and out of nowhere came clapping and cheering noises she looked in front of her and was surprised to see all the officers, detectives and even the captain clapping and all around her there were signs welcoming her back.  
Everyone came to shake her hand, telling her about the wonderful job she did. Lexa kept nodding her head, trying her best to make herself smile. Everyone was calling her a hero, she couldn’t help herself from thinking "if only they'd know".

 

Thankfully, the festivity didn’t last too long. Captain Kane marched over to her ordering everyone to go back to work and asking Lexa to join him in his office.

Captain Marcus Kane, Lexa admired him. He was a nice guy with long, black hair cascading to his shoulders, salt and pepper beard and very kind hazelnut eyes. He was to think about every type of scenario for a mission, and choosing the less lethal one. He was a nice man all in all, and a more than fair captain; that’s what made her like the man.

‘’ Detective, it’s very nice to see your face back at the station, you’re one of my best‘’ Marcus said.  
Lexa smiled at the man ‘’Thank you, sir. It’s good to be back‘’.

Marcus' facial expression changed into a more serious one before he began again and Lexa knew whatever he was about to say must be really important, if Kane was looking at her like that. ‘’Now that formality is out of the way, we need to discuss something before you are fully reinstated‘’ .

Lexa’s anxiety was back on, she could tell whatever it was he is going to say, she was not going to like it one bit.

‘’Please don’t take this the wrong way, but in order for you to be fully back you’re going to need a clearance from a psychologist‘’

Lexa’s eyes widen at that. Was she being obvious? Did he know about all the things that keep her awake at night? Was he .. she stopped herself before she can go there and simply asked ‘’A shrink ? You want me to see a shrink?’’

‘’Alexandria you know it is not personal‘’ he said

Lexa was not having it ‘’Hell, it’s a fucking shrink, and don’t 'Alexandria' me MARCUS ‘’ she said emphasizing his name. Marcus was a friend to the family. Him and aunt Indra were best friend, that’s why he kept an eye on her and her siblings.

‘’Lexa, please, you know it’s the department's rules. You’ve been undercover for two years and you were in a relationship with the subject's daughter, you know how things can be’ Marcus says voice full of sympathy

‘’Not happening‘’ she says with angry voice.

‘’It’s mandatory Lexa, besides Abby told me about the nightmares and the not sleeping ‘’

‘’Abby told you that‘’ of course her Captain's wife, the most famous surgeon in the city, was her main doctor. The woman was very graceful, even in her scrubs Lexa could see how strong she was; whenever she spoke, everyone was listening to her, no one dared interrupt her. She could see how her boss and this woman were a couple: both of them were kind and nice; both wanted to help people; and of course the 5.3 feet brown hair, brown eyed doctor would care so much for her patients that she would tell her husband how Lexa was really doing. Since when was discussing someone’s recovery pillow talk?! Damn it, damn it, damn it.

‘’ Lexa ? ‘’

‘’No. And what happened to doctor-patient confidentiality or is that not a thing anymore? ‘’ She was clenching her fists till her knuckles were white.

‘’ She was worried about you Lexa, we all are ‘’ he can see how troubled she looked; the bags under her haunted eyes if he had known sending her on that mission would have caused her this much pain, he would have never done it. Marcus felt responsible about it and he would do everything in his power to make it up to Lexa. _I_ _will help her, even if she doesn't want help_.

‘’ Besides, I think you might like this therapist. I know she’s a great doctor and will do her absolute best to make you comfortable enough to talk to her ‘’

‘’ I guess we'll see about that ‘’

Lexa saw the sad eyes full of regret and sympathy Marcus were giving her and it made her wanna punch something or someone, but above all it made her want to scream that she was fine, That she was handling it on her own, that she didn’t need anyone's help , but she knew there was no way out of this. So she simply turned her head up to meet Marcus' gaze and said ‘’ Fine, I’ll do it. ‘’ She knew deep down if she refused, it would only make things worse for her and it would be more suspicious if she kept refusing to talk about what happened to her.

Marcus was beyond happy. He wasn’t sure Lexa was going to accept this, but he knew she loved her work more than anything and she'd do anything to be back on the street. He nodded with a little smile and told her ‘’ That’s great, I already made the appointment. Your session will be tomorrow and I’ll be expecting to hear you were cooperative with the therapist, her report will determine when you can get back to active duty ‘’

"Sure‘’ she said, chewing on her bottom lip .

‘’ Welcome back, Detective‘’ he said, giving her back her gun and badge.

‘’ Thank you, sir, but I'm not really back, am I‘’ Lexa said more of a statement than a question.

‘’ You’re back that’s what really matters, just think of it as baby steps. Now go, I'm sure your friends have really missed you ‘’ Marcus said with one final look at Lexa before his attention was back at all the folders on his desk.

Lexa opens the door to leave and saw Anya waiting for her "So how did it go?" Anya asked curiously.

‘’He wants me to see a shrink Anya ‘’ she said, feeling irritated more than anything else.

‘’Well, little cousin, you can worry about that tomorrow. Tonight we’re going out’’ before Lexa could say anything Anya continued ‘’I'm not taking no for an answer, tonight you will put on your big girl pants and go out with your friends and that’s that‘’

‘’Okay‘’ Lexa said. Maybe going out could take her mind off of the fact that she is going to have to see a therapist, talk about her feelings that definitely won’t end very well, but hey, she was a good liar, she has been undercover many times, she was even able to convince Anya and her family she was fine, lying to a complete stranger would be like a walk in the park, she is a trained detective after all.

But what if the therapist could see right through her lies? If you really think about it, they are getting paid to do that. _Damn it, why can’t anything be easy for once?_   She would have preferred being held against her will and tortured, to going to a damn therapist and talk about how she truly feels, maybe she should go and be honest. What kind of people would prefer torture rather than going to a shrink? Okay, maybe she will cross that bridge when she gets to it, she’s still skeptical about the whole thing.

‘’So tonight, Grounder at 9? ‘’ She asked Anya

‘’Yesss! We will have so much fun!‘’ Anya said too excited.

‘’I doubt it‘’


	2. bars and fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this story is about healing so it might get a bit angsty to get to the fluff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw : minor alcohol abuse and a detailed bar fight

Lexa, Anya and Lincoln were preparing for their night out in Lexa’s apartment.

The apartment was a penthouse in one of the police’s tallest buildings, with a great view from anywhere inside her house. Her apartment was elegant with three bedrooms. One for her, one for Anya and the last she uses whenever she has guests, she also has a living room with a cinema screen and all around black leather couches.

 

She always enjoyed eating her breakfast on the balcony watching people running around all over and when looking to her left, she can see the great sight of the wild sea, which is why she loved her house so much, sometimes when she wants to be alone she just looks outside her window and pretend she’s living on an island on her own. How peaceful that would be.

Anya walks into the room wearing black leather pants, black boots, and a gray T-shirt. Matching Lexa’s gray T-shirt. Only Lexa paired it with white ripped jeans. Following closely was Lincoln, wearing dark blue jeans and a white -shirt that was clinging to his body, showing off his muscles.

 

‘’ Looking good, Lex ‘’ Lincoln said ‘’ I'm so glad you finally decided to come out with us ‘’

 

‘’ You too, Linc ‘’ she says, smiling sheepishly.

 

‘’ Hey Lex, there is a huge FedEx package on your kitchen counter, want me to get it for you? ‘’ The older girl asked

  
‘’ NO!! I mean no, An. It’s fine. I can check it out once I'm back ‘’ Lexa all but screamed, avoiding eye contact with both her cousins.

  
She was acting very weird which made both her cousins look at her suspiciously, they know Lexa all too well; they practically grew up together and they knew, Lexa refusing to meet their eyes, meant either she’s embarrassed or guilty.

 

‘’ Hey Lexa ‘’ Anya said, making Lexa look up to meet her eyes and damn it, she has the same guilty look on her face from that one Christmas when she was five and she thought lighting the Christmas tree meant to actually set it on fire. Needless to say, she freaked out and just ran- without telling anyone about what she did. Thankfully the fire set off all the alarms and after the fire squad and further police investigation had come, Lexa broke down, running to her mom saying ‘’ Mama I did it! Pwease [please] don’t let me go to prison, I’ll clean everything. Pomise [promise] ‘’ Lexa’s eyes were puffy from all the tears she had shed, her nose and cheeks were red from her rubbing them.

Lexa’s family burst out laughing, laughter echoing all throughout the house. Lexa was more confused than anything. Her mom, Elizabeth, put her on her lap, scratching her back while her dad Alexander kept whispering in her ear how much they loved her and how they were just happy she didn’t get hurt. Alexander even invited all the police and fire squad members to have Christmas dinner with them, he kept apologizing for his daughter and saying "You know how kids are".

 

‘’ What did you do? Did you order one of those animal print dildos online?‘’ Anya said, without blinking an eye, like it was the most casual thing ever.

  
Lincoln looked at her with wide eyes like a deer caught in headlights, not believing what his sister just said, while Lexa was looking anywhere but at Anya, face red like a tomato .

  
Lexa looked up, puffing her chest out, chin held high, and answered’’ What?! Of course not. It’s just my candles, they arrived today ‘’ Lexa gave herself a mental pat on the back and gave her cousins a smug look.

She looked between them, seeing Lincoln barely able to contain his laughter and Anya looking at her with an amused look and a raised eyebrow. That made her realize the mistake she had made and the previous pat on the back she gave herself turned into a slap for being so stupid to let it slip.

 

‘’ I see. Well, that makes it a lot worse Lexie, your addiction is getting to another level. Back me up Linc ‘’ the dirty blond says, looking at her brother.

 

‘’ Well, they have different smells and for different occasions. Help me out here Linc ‘’ said the younger brunette trying to keep whatever dignity she had left. Lincoln looked up to see two sets of eyes waiting for his answer so he chooses the more political way ‘’ Leave me out of this. I’m taking no one’s side ‘’ Anya rolled her eyes and a mischievous smile appeared on her lips ‘’ Think about it like this Lexie, if you don’t know what to talk about to the therapist you can always tell her about your candle addiction ‘’

Now it was Lexa’s turn to roll her eyes ‘’ phhhhh, I don’t have a candle addiction ‘’

 

‘’ Prove it, give me the box ‘’ Lexa’s eyes went comically wide, Lincoln was afraid that they might pop out of their sockets.

 

In her moment of bewilderment, Anya ran over to the kitchen and was now holding the candle box, hands inside counting how many candles it has ‘’ Seriously Lex, who needs a Banana Nut Bread scented candle. YOU DON'T EVEN LIKE BANANAS''

 

Anya’s shouting made Lexa wake up from her trance, running to the kitchen with a panicked look on her face ‘’ Please be careful, you’ll break them ‘’

 

Anya got too distracted reading the receipt to notice Lexa jumping on one of the couches and jumping in front of her, snatching the box from her hands .

 

‘’ 5000 $ for fucking candles?? Are you out of your mind?! ‘’ Anya was down right scolding Lexa, using her mother-voice.

 

Lexa made a nervous chuckle and tried to ease her way out of this. She knew pissed off Anya is not a very nice Anya ‘’ I'm sorry. But I’ll have you know I bought them from a very respectful company. They first opened in 1643 and earned themselves a glowing endorsement from Louis the fourteenth ‘’ she says, smiling to herself, remembering what she read on the company's page.

 

‘’ Spare me the fucking summary Alexandria. This is not a Lexa Loves Candles Documentary on National Geographic ‘’ Anya says, still seemingly pissed off.

 

‘’ Drinks are on me tonight at the bar ‘’ she thanked her lucky stars, Anya's gaze was softening by the minute. Over the years, Lexa found out the only way to Anya’s heart was through her liver.

 

‘’ Fine. But this is not over ‘’ Anya says, walking to the door, followed by Lexa and Lincoln.

 

When the three cousins arrived at Grounders, they were shown to their VIP table without having to wait.

 

‘’ Hey, so, I kind of invited someone to join us. Is that okay with you Lex? ‘’ Lincoln says. Lexa only nodded her head while Anya had one of her scary Cheshire cat smiles on ‘’ Ohh is Lincoln bringing his little warrior to meet the fam?’’

 

‘’ Well, I'm not the only one bringing their girlfriend tonight ‘’ he said, trying to change the subject from him to Anya.

 

‘’ Wait. Girlfriends? Little warrior? What the hell did I miss? ‘’ Lexa asked, not expecting to hear not only one of her cousins dating but the both of them.

 

‘’ Oh yeah, didn’t you hear, the devil found someone. And she’s as rude and sassy as Anya ‘’ he smiled at his own joke.

 

 

‘’ Well, what about you and your little rookie? Every time you see her, you exchange those gross ass heart eyes which, quite frankly, are annoying as fuck. Linc, you need to do something. If she keeps following you at the station like a lost puppy, everyone will know there is something going on ‘’

 

‘’ What did I just say about being nice Anya? You don’t have to be bitchy all the time, just save it for Raven ‘’

 

‘’Okay is anyone going to explain or what? ‘’ The brunette said more annoyed of herself, that she didn’t think to actually ask her cousins how they're doing.

Anya smiled first before answering ‘’ Lincoln is head over heals for the new rookie Octavia Blake, it’s pretty disgusting ‘’ Anya raised her voice and started flailing her hand ‘’ Oh, Detective Woods, do you think you can help me with those files they are really heavy ‘’ trying to imitate what the new rookie sounded like before adding ‘’ yeah she’s also 5.5 feet with blue eyes and dark hair, she looks like a brat if you asked me ‘’

 

‘’ Well, no one did, and Octavia is no damsel in distress. She's a strong, confident woman who can do anything she puts her mind to ‘’.

 

‘’ See what I'm talking about ‘’ she whispered in Lexa’s ear ‘’ Whipped ’’ Anya gestures with her hand.

 

‘’ Miss know-it-all, I guess you too have heart eyes whenever you see Raven. You would like her Lex, she’s a fierce Latina, one with a little god complex and works as a mechanic - legally at least. She’s cool, at least, she keeps Anya on her toes ‘’ of course Lincoln would never say anything bad about a woman. He is respectful and all for girl power. Lexa guessed it all came from his mom. Aunt Indra is the definition of a bad ass; she is ruthless at her work as Polis DA but also so caring and loving to her family, she always taught her kids how to respect others and see the person in front of them for who they are, not make judgement on his sexual orientation, skin color or religion.

 

The two Woods siblings kept bickering not realizing their cousin zoning out.

 

Lexa was so deep in thought, thinking, maybe in a different life she would have joined their conversation talking about how much in love she was with a certain brown eyed, brown haired girl that filled her life with love and happiness, how waking up next to her would mean her day was better, how every glance , every fleeting touch made her lose her mind , those sweet lips that would whisper I love you's all through their love making, those hands that were too soft to be touched .

But that didn’t stop Lexa from hurting her, Costia. Costia. Costia. Every time she thinks about her, she feels the darkness, touching her, consuming her, taking all what was pure and honest with it. She shakes her head, trying to keep a clear mind ‘’ I'm going to get a drink’’ she doesn’t even know if her cousins can hear her. She just stands up and goes to the bar ordering a double whiskey on the rocks. She downs the cup immediately, the burn of the alcohol is not even bad. She feels comforted by it and orders another one.

 

When she goes back to her table, she arrives at the same time as two other brunettes. The taller one in a red dress and the shorter girl in a black one and a tall black haired boy with brown eyes and freckles on his cheeks. She'd seen him once before, Detective Bellamy Blake. Homicide. She never met the guy, but she heard good things about his devotion for the force.

 

‘’ I'm here bitches ‘’ she hears the shorter brunette yell and ran towards her cousin with open arms. Octavia she thinks. She looks behind her to see Bellamy shaking his head and the other brunette smirking as she looks at her other cousin.

 

‘’ Hello to you too. Little Blake, do you always talk to your superior like this? ‘’ Anya says with a serious tone making Octavia squirm under her gaze. ‘’ Lay off Anya ‘’ Lincoln says with hard eyes.

 

‘’ Whatever’’ Anya turned to look to the other brunette ‘’ Hey babe, don’t I get a nice to see you kiss? ‘’ At hearing that the other brunette jumps at her girlfriend giving a more than PG13 show to anyone who’s looking all groping and tongues involved .

 

Lexa and Bellamy clear their throat at the same time, making Anya and Raven both blush . Damn, Lexa thinks, I didn’t even know Anya could do that.

 

‘’ Oh, sorry, yes. Everyone knows everyone except for this one ‘’ Anya says, pointing at Lexa ‘’ My cousin Lexa Woods, candle hoe ’’ Lexa feels her cheeks burning with embarrassment.

 

Turning her attention to the girl wrapped around her arms, she says ‘’ This is Raven’’ looking at Lincoln ‘’ The one holding Lincoln like a koala is Octavia, and finally the guy standing next to you is her brother Bellamy. Don’t let the muscles fool you, he’s a big softy ‘’

 

‘’ Nice to meet you all ‘’ Lexa says, shaking everyone’s hand, smiling politely.

 

Everyone shared their polite hellos as well till Octavia turns her head and squeaks, clapping her hands ‘’ THE Lexa Woods, the one that took down the biggest drug cartel in Polis.

Lexa felt the air being sucked from her lungs, but before she could answer Lincoln says ‘’ O. Really? We’re here to have fun, not talk about work ‘’ Saving Lexa like he was reading her mind.

 

To lighting up the mood, Raven chimes in with a playful ‘’ Aaww Anya, you didn’t tell me she was this hot. Damn, I think I went for the wrong Woods ‘’

 

‘’ Well, keep it in your pants tiger you’re stuck with this Woods ‘’ she says pointing at herself.

Raven's gaze turns into one of awe as she speaks these words in Anya’s ear ‘’ You’re all the Woods I need. I have my own forest right here ‘’ she said, squeezing Anya's hand a little ‘’ Get it Woods, forest ‘’

 

‘’ Please Raven, leave the jokes for someone else ‘’ Bellamy says, making everyone around the table laugh at Raven’s little pout.

 

To Lexa’s surprise the Blake's are really fun and entertaining. She could tell Octavia is a free spirit while Bellamy is the protective older brother and Raven, well Raven is Raven. She’s a wild card.

 

‘’ So what’s with the nickname Lexa?‘’ Raven asks upon seeing Lexa’s confused look she adds ‘’ Candle hoe?’’

 

‘’ Oh my god, not this again ‘’ Lexa groans. Of course Raven would remember how Anya introduced her.

  
‘’ Lexa has a thing for candles. She has them all over her house, like a bad horror movie invasion of the candles ‘’ Anya says

 

Bellamy, who had been silent practically all night, decides to join the conversation ‘’ Well, you’re being a little too hard on your cousin Anya. We all have our guilty pleasures ‘’ he covers his mouth with his right hand and coughs the word ‘’ Swords’’

 

Octavia's smile widens at this ‘’ Well, swords are awesome . Using one feels cathartic and somehow honorable. Like, think about it, if you’re fighting with swords your opponent has to anticipate your every move, every thought has to be calculated. One wrong move and boom you're done.’’

 

Lexa turns to everyone ‘’ Remind me never to piss you off ‘’

 

‘’ Bellamy has a thing for history books ‘’ Octavia adds

 

‘’ I know all too well, Anya here has a thing for sexy mechanics costumes ‘’ Raven adds

 

Without a beat Anya adds ‘’ Not the costume babe, just you ‘’

 

Lexa and Lincoln look at each other before making a gagging noises .

‘’ If you’re going all sappy on us Anya, I'm going to need more alcohol ‘’ Lexa says before standing up.

 

‘’ I’ll come with you ‘’ Raven says.

 

The two make their way to the bar, ordering a tequila bottle for the table.

‘’ You need to tell me funny childhood stories about Anya. Before we got together, I kind of thought she was made of ice, but then I got to know her and I realized how wrong I was." Raven says with shy smiles, eyes full of love .

 

‘’ You’re in love with her ‘’ Lexa states. Raven nods her head yes ‘’ Very ‘’ Lexa finds herself smiling for real. Feeling very happy for her cousin, if anyone deserves to be happy it’s Anya.

 

On their way back to their table, out of nowhere a guy bumps into Raven, making her drop her drinks all over herself and instead of apologizing the guy smirks and says ‘’ Well, hello there little lady. Now, since you’re boobs are showing, want some help with that ? ‘’ He says, smiling.

 

Lexa’s jaw was clenching and unclenching her fists and shaking.

 

‘’ Fuck off, perv ‘’ Raven says turning her back on him to walk back to the table ,but the guy seems pretty out of it, he smacks Raven’s ass before laughing out loud ‘’ Nice ass’’

When Raven turned to give the guy a piece of her mind, she sees the guy getting punched square in the jaw by Lexa, falling to the floor , only to stand up with blood gushing all over his mouth before punching Lexa in the eye .

Lexa felt pain shooting from her eye, piercing her skull and all she could see was red.

 

Raven was watching with shock evident on her face after the guy punched Lexa. Lexa looked at him with crazed eyes before pouncing on him, punching him left and right. The guy put his hands up to protect his face from the clearly very powerful punches Lexa was delivering but to no avail, he collapsed to the floor, blood all over his face. But Lexa didn’t seem like she had any intention of backing off. Her boots now colliding with his ribs, hard. Even as the music stopped and all the crowd was watching with horrified eyes, Lexa kept going like something was fighting to come out of her. Through the silence, the sickening sound of a bone crushing was heard until Anya and Lincoln jumped out of nowhere, dragging Lexa out of the club while she was growling like a caged animal.

 

Lexa felt two arms wrapping around her and voices whispering, but she couldn’t hear anything other than the buzzing in her ears. Finally, she came to it, seeing Anya’s concerned gaze and Lincoln doing something to her knuckles. She winced as Lincoln put something over her bloodied knuckles. When she turned her head, she saw that she was in her house . ‘’ What happened ?’’ she asked, her voice raspy and out of breath. "What the hell happened, how did I end up here?!"

 

‘’It’s okay, sweetie, you’re safe. You just had a bit too much to drink and had a bar fight. But you’re home now ‘’ Anya says with a reassuring smile, but Lexa only saw more concern in her eyes.

 

‘’ We’re done honey. Let's get you to bed now ‘’ Lincoln said helping her up.

A bar fight that would explains why she feels so tired.

Anya and Lincoln tucked her in bed and decided to stay in the house if she needs anything else. Anya was patting her head while Lincoln was humming something soothingly. It didn’t take much for Lexa to fall asleep.

 

Lincoln and Anya walked into the living room, neither of them speaking. As soon as they sat on the couch they turned to face each other.

‘’This is bad Anya. Like really bad. She was out of it, she almost killed that guy ‘’ Lincoln whispers yell.

 

‘’ Don’t you think I know that? Why do you think I spoke to Marcus to get her to talk to a shrink. I see her haunted eyes and her zoning out all of the time and there is nothing I can do! Do you think I find it funny pushing her off a half dead guy in bars or making sure she eats her food because if I don’t, she will forget ‘’ Anya said looking sad and helpless.

 

‘’ I know, I'm sorry. Let's just hope the therapist can help her. I really miss seeing the old Lexa ‘’ Lincoln says with equally sad eyes.

 

‘’ I know. We will help her get better Linc. We will have our Lexa back. As long as it takes ‘’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter will be clexa introduction .


	3. Add it Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw : Death mention

Clarke Griffin was a very lucky child. She was born with golden blonde hair and deep sea blue eyes that she got from her dad. She had two loving parents, who would always encourage her to do what she wants. Without letting anything stands in her way.

 

Clarke had a kind soul. She loved helping people. She thought she would grow up to be a surgeon just like her mom Abby. But at the same time she was fascinated by art and wanted to create amazing things just like her dad Jake.

 

Her best friend was her next door neighbor Raven Reyes. The two had quite the adventure with Raven's love for making everything go boom boom. Her other best friend was Octavia Blake. The trio had the most memorable childhood all through high school, with their friendship growing closer every day.  
Clarke Griffin was more than happy with her life.

 

Until one very unfortunate day, when Clarke was a senior in school. They got a call from her old family friend Marcus Kane informing them that Jake had an accident at work. And they had to take him to hospital.

 

When Clarke arrived with her two best friends. She was met with the sight of her mother in bloody clothes, leaning heavily against the operating room door ‘’ Mom? . Where is dad? ‘’ Clarke asked her mother .

 

Abby looked at her daughter, her face was as pale as the white walls surrounding them. Her eyes were glossy from all the tears she'd shed dampening her cheeks .  
Her mom choked on her sobs ‘’ I'm sorry Clarke , I did everything I could ‘’

Clarke was shaking her head fiercely ‘’ No , I don’t believe you! Dad is fine. Now move I have to see him. He would want to see me first thing when he opens his eyes. Or else he will get worried .‘’

Abby stopped her daughter before she could move inside the operating room ‘’ Clarke , he will never open his eyes again . I'm sorry ‘’ .

Clarke wiped her head to meet her mother’s eyes ‘’ You’re lying!!!!!’’ She screamed. She felt all the energy being sucked out of her ‘’ Mom , Please tell me it’s not true . Please mom ‘’ her legs were beginning to shake, but before she could fall to the ground. Her mother's arms wrapped around her ‘’ I'm sorry baby , I'm sorry’’ that's all she heard before her vision turned black.

When she woke up, she was in her bedroom, both her friends were sitting next to her both looking extremely sad and uncharacteristically silent . ‘’ My dad is dead ‘’ she said before all the three friends were involved in a hug crying their eyes out .

After the funeral, she refused to leave her room, or eat anything. Every time she would look at her mother, she would remember the scene from the hospital. And everywhere she went she would hear whispers and see sympathetic gazes . Until one day, Abby had enough. She convinced one of her psychiatrists and colleagues, Nyko, to come and talk to Clarke.

Nyko was very patient with her. Even when she would lash out to him.  
He saw that underneath all that anger, there was a scared little girl. Who missed her dad so, so much.

She knew Nyko was there to stay. She even threw her alarm clock at him once , and still he came back. So she figured she'd might as well talk to him .  
She began with ‘’ I miss him , I miss him so much it hurts , it’s like I‘m swimming in a pool and everyone is in front of me and every time I think I'm there . I finally caught up to them , I look up to find I'm behind everyone. In the same place I started ‘’

Nyko just gave a smile before saying ‘’ Maybe, it’s your subconscious telling you should move on. Just like everyone else. There is nothing wrong with that Clarke .’’  
She choked out ‘’ How? ‘’ Avoiding looking him in the eyes.

 

‘’ You take it day by day and figure it out . It can be as slow as you would like. Just keep in mind, you moving on doesn’t mean you’re forgetting him. You can honor him by living your life every day.‘’

‘’ Thank you ‘’ she finally said . Maybe it was okay to move on. Her dad will always be in her heart. She will honor him every day by going to school and graduating. Maybe someday she can help someone move on too.

And she did. Clarke went to school every day and graduated top of her class. She was the valedictorian. She went to College and studied her ass off to get her psych degree . She was even happy when her mom told her she was dating Marcus , and was her mother’s bridesmaid along with Raven and Octavia .

Now at 27 years old, she was one of the best psychiatrists in the area, working alongside Nyko . His office was right across the hall from hers.

 

Every Friday was family dinner time at the Griffin-Kane's house and today, instead of chewing her ears off about why she was still single , the conversation was about something totally different. Apparently one of her mother's patients was one of the detectives that worked under Kane.

‘’ So honey , how do you think Lexa’s doing ?‘’

‘’ Marcus , you know I can’t tell you that ‘’ Abby said with a sigh.

‘’ I'm just asking 'cause Anya told me something today. ‘’

‘’ Really ? ‘’ Abby was surprised to hear that , Lexa was a very stubborn patient, one of the most stubborn. She actually witnessed one of the nurses giving Lexa more pain killers. Just to get her to sleep.

‘’ Yeah , She said Lexa is not doing so good. She suggested maybe I should make her go talk to someone ‘’

Abby giggled at that ‘’ Well , Good luck with that. It won't end very well and you know it. ‘’

‘’ If I don’t at least try, Indra will have my head ‘’

 

‘’ She’s right though , it will be a good idea if she was able to talk to someone about her problems, She used to get nightmares everyday ‘’ Abby nodded her agreement . She wanted to help Lexa , but there is only so much she can do . Lexa was the type to suffer alone. She didn’t like to show weakness of any kind which was frustrating to Abby. Lexa would always push her limits to only be right back at the hospital to re-stitch her wounds .

 

‘’ Umm who are we talking about ?’’ Clarke interrupted them by asking .

Abby sighed exaggeratedly ‘’ Lexa Woods. She’s one of the detectives in Marcus' team . She was brought over six months ago with a dislocated left shoulder , a bullet to her right, and a dislocated knee cap ‘’

‘’ Ohh , I’ve heared about her. According to one of the nurses she is a demonic, hellish beast, disguised in a super model with green forest eyes ‘’ Clarke laughed remembering when Harper came over bitching about a patient who was driving her crazy .

 

‘’ She’s not that bad ‘’ Abby and Marcus said in unison .

 

Marcus added ‘’ She’s just been through a lot . All I can say is that she went undercover for two years and lost someone special to her .’’

 

Abby was thinking how awful it was for Lexa not being able to talk about what she went through. Then, a thought crossed her mind. Maybe Lexa would open up more if the doctor was closer to her age. She needed someone to hear her without making assumptions or passing judgement. Who’s better at this than her own daughter? Abby was looking at her daughter, smiling hopefully, like she just figured out a cure for cancer .

 

‘’ Mom ? Are you OK ? , You’re kind of creeping me out with...‘’.  
Marcus was also smiling, looking at Clarke like he could hear his wife's thoughts.

‘’ Honey . What would you say about doing a favour for us ?’’

‘’ I'm listening ‘’ Clarke said, pretending to be thinking about it. She knew she would do whatever her mother wants her to do, no questions asked.

‘’ Would you mind having a couple of sessions with Lexa ?’’ Great, now both her mom and Kane were looking at her with puppy eyes . Which is a thing no 55 year old should do, in her opinion.

Sensing there was no way out of this Clarke said ‘’ Fine. She better not be a nut case ‘’ .

 

Kane jumped from the table, ran to his study and came back handing Clarke what she assumed is Lexa’s file . ‘’ The day after tomorrow at 10 ‘’ said Kane still smiling .

‘’ You were already thinking about it, weren't you ‘’ Abby and Kane were now very interested in the floorboards, only confirming Clarke's suspicions . ‘’ Damn it, I can’t believe I got tricked by you too. One word mom ‘’ Clarke pointed her finger directly at her mother's face ‘’ Shame on you ‘’

 

Later that night, Clarke was going through the file Kane gave her to see what she was going to be working with .

 

Name : Alexandria Heda Woods  
Age : 24  
Hair : Brown  
Eyes : Green  
Height : 5.7 Feet  
Alexandria Woods is the youngest detective in all Polis' Police Department . She is the only child of Elizabeth and Alexander Woods . Both still alive . Alexandria comes from very powerful and loaded people. Her family owns half of Polis. She’s practically royalty in Polis. Alexandria chose a life of serving and protecting the people instead of a job in the family business. She knows more than four languages. She’s very intelligent and highly trained, which made her the perfect undercover agent to infiltrate Mount Weather Pharmaceutical , owned by Dante Wallace. Father to notorious drug lord Cage Wallace and daughter Costia Wallace; very little known about her.

After Alexandria completed her mission and presented all the evidence to close Mount Weather and press charges against the Wallace's and employees , Detective Woods was found in her apartment bloodied and beaten, cradling a dead Costia Wallace in her arms, crying hysterically , with also a dead Cage Wallace lying on the floor next to her.

 

‘’ Damn ‘’

 

LEXA'S POV

Day after day  
I will walk and I will play  
But the day after today  
I will stop  
And I will start

Why can’t I get just one kiss  
Why can’t I get just one kiss  
Believe me there’d be something that I wouldn’t miss  
But look at your pants and I need a kiss

 

‘’ Fuckkkk’’ Lexa woke up with a killer hangover; her stomach felt like a tornado, the royal rumble in her head wasn’t helping either, especially when her alarm wouldn’t stop blasting Add it up by Violent Femmes .

 

She picked up the pillow next to her head and threw it at her alarm in a last attempt to silence it. When the song kept going she discarded the thoughts of sleeping and lifted herself up on her elbows, grumbling as she reached for the alarm .

When the alarm was finally off, she put it back on her night stand and exhaled deeply. In that moment she felt her stomach churn again, making her leap from her bed to the bathroom. As soon as her knees hit the bathroom titles she emptied all her stomach content .

When she was finally done, she stood up to brush her teeth and wash her face. As soon as the water hit her eyes, she winced from the pain, She looked up at her reflection in the mirror which made her wake up immediately .  
‘’ ANYAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!’

 

Anya was sleeping in her room enjoying the comfort of her bed when a scream woke her up. She ran to Lexa’s room and followed the loud curses and groans that were coming from Lexa’s bathroom, Lincoln hot on her tail .

They stood in the doorway watching their cousin pacing back and forth. When Lexa looked up to find them looking at her quizzically, she stopped pacing .

‘’ What the hell is this !?’’ she said, pointing at the huge black eye she was currently sporting. She looked between Anya and Lincoln waiting for an answer .

‘’ It’s a black eye ‘’ Anya responded nonchalantly.

Lexa narrowed her eyes at the most obvious answer and commented back ‘’ I know it’s a god damn black eye . How the fuck did I get it ? . More importantly, how did you not stop me from getting it? ‘’ Accusingly her fingers pointing at the two people in front of her.

‘’ You went all she-hulk on someone’s ass yesterday, and traded a couple of punches ‘’ a jab in the ribs shut Anya right up .

‘’ Really ? . Anya , really ? . You think now is a good time to joke about this ? ‘’ Lexa went back to her pacing .

‘’ Well, what do you want from me, it’s 7 in the morning ‘’ .

"What the hell happened?!" Lexa yelled, losing her patience.

‘’Funny story you ask Lexa . You had a bit too much to drink honey and got into a fight when someone slapped Raven’s ass ‘’ Lincoln answer chuckling nervously .

 

Lexa’s headache was getting worse. She tried to relieve some of the pain by pressing her index and middle finger on either side of her head ‘’ Guys, I need your help, I'm supposed to be at the therapist's office at 10 . What the fuck am I going to do with this? I look like I walked out of an illegal fight club. I'm supposed to look normal, boring even. Not risen from the dead Frankenstein’s wife. How do you think looking like this is appropriate? ''

 

‘’ I see the punch did nothing for your dramatic ass . I see Extra Lexa woke up in full force today ‘’ Anya joked trying to ease the anxious brunette . Lincoln smiled a little, watching his sister's and cousin's antics . Anya always had the most ridiculous way of comforting people; she'd either insult said person or make fun of herself .

 

When Lexa wasn’t showing any signs of calming down anytime soon Anya continued ‘’ Hey Lex , you know I could always sing for you ‘’  
Lexa hurriedly replied ‘’ Oh please don’t ‘’ fighting off a smile ‘’ You do know my life is not an Indian movie? I can’t call all my neighbors and start a singing , dancing marathon ‘’ her voice showing no signs of malice , ‘’ Why is this my life ‘’

 

‘’ Don’t worry . I’ll change your bandage , while Anya covers your eye with make up ‘’ Lincoln added.

 

‘’ Thanks ‘’

‘’ If you ask me , you have nothing to worry about. I heard your doctor’s name is Clarke. So I'm guessing a 60 year old man with a boat fetish and a smelly office. Just show off a bit of cleavage and you’ll be fine ‘’ ‘’ or don’t We don’t want him to get excited and end up having a heart attack ‘’ she gestured at her heart while tongue sticking out apparently trying to imitate a dying man .

Both Lexa and Lincoln looked at each other before bursting out laughing ‘’ Alright weirdo let's just help Lexa get ready ‘’

Lexa is very grateful to have these two amazing idiots in her life . Well, technically one idiot, Anya.

 

Lexa was sitting in the waiting room, fidgeting with the sleeves of her button up while waiting to be let in to see Dr. Griffin. She was wearing a white button up and black pants with a leather jacket ‘’ Damn you Anya ‘’ Lexa was cursing Anya under her breath . Because now sitting here all she could think about was Anya's absurd theory about killing the old Dr.Griffin with her boobs. She kept buttoning all her buttons and reopening.

 

Finally it was her turn. She was led to an office and asked to knock the door. ‘’Come in ‘’ came a raspy female voice from inside . ‘’ Great he is too pretentious to answer his own damn door. He let his secretary answers for him .‘’ She opened the door and stepped into the room. She came to a halt as soon as she was through the door . Lexa was not expecting this. Before her stood -instead of a 60 year old grumpy man- an amazingly beautiful woman with the bluest eyes Lexa had ever seen and golden blonde hair . Instead of smelly old fart she was met with a smell of blooming flowers . She kept her eyes locked on the woman tracing every inch of her body with her eyes . Her pink lips and a little beauty mark laid above her upper lip. Instead of one of those hideous knitted sweaters, she wore a light blue t-shirt . Her thoughts were interrupted by the same husky voice she heard when she knocked. Here goes Anya's theory . Well, at least no one will die from a boob-heart attack.

‘’ I'm sorry . I'm Detective Alexandria Woods ‘’ Lexa held up her hand for the blonde doctor to shake .

‘’ No problem , Doctor Clarke Griffin . Please have a seat .‘’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes people costia is dead but we wont really find out till couple of chapters later . Although there will be lots of hints on the way . 
> 
> side note ; i don't have any beta so all mistakes are mine , I tried to edit all the chapter after writing them but i get to excited and end up posting without really any editing . SORRY


	4. First session

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't now how i feel about this chapter , I re wrote it more than seven times .  
> i didn't want their first session to be too dark or angsty .  
> Hope you like it.

‘’ Please take a seat, get comfortable ‘’

 

Lexa was very nervous. She took a seat on the very comfortable looking couch. Her legs were bouncing slightly so she opted for sitting cross legged, putting her right leg over her left . She looked at the chair in front of her and then the wall behind it and was surprised to see all the diplomas and certificates that littered the wall . She could also see a few paintings, one in particular caught her eye.

 

It was a drawing of the night sky full of stars and two silhouettes; one is taller than the other who seemed to be stargazing .

 

Her doctor was pretty young. If she would take a guess she would say the blonde doctor was in her early twenties maybe 24, 25 .

 

‘’ Is this your first time talking to a professional, Detective? ‘’ The doctor stood from behind her office chair and moved to sit on the chair that was across from the couch Lexa was sitting at.

 

‘’That obvious, huh? ‘’ Lexa said with a little smile, trying to hide how nervous she was. If anything wrong were to happen during the session and the doctor feels she is in any way not in control she would never be on the streets again , her job would be in danger. She can’t let that happen.

 

‘’ Not really . But everyone who comes in here for the first time has their own preservation. Some get very anxious , some get very defensive , believe it or not, but some get very excited to talk about their problems , to share what's on their mind. And some feel happy to have someone to listen to them , no matter how big or small their problems are . It’s human nature to seek solace . So what type are you , Detective ?’’ Voice soft and curious. She didn’t know what to expect . From what both her step dad and mom said , she knew Lexa isn’t the type to gush out about her problems and feelings. But damn, Harper was right . The brunette was extremely gorgeous . In fact, if she saw her on the street, she would think she was some kind of supermodel: her skin tone was a bit tanned, she had long graceful legs, and long brown hair. But what peaked Clarke's interest, was not just how uncanny Lexa's green eyes were, but also how haunted they looked. She could see being lost and self loathing in them, which made her heart ache a little for the complete stranger.

 

‘’ Please , call me Lexa and regarding your question I think I'm a doer , talking about stuff doesn’t make it go away , if anything it just reminds you about all the what ifs ‘’

 

‘’ I think that’s one way to look at it . But sometimes talking about your problems makes you feel less alone in the world ‘’ Clarke said her smile still evident .

 

‘’ I guess ‘’ .

 

‘’ How about I walk you through how these sessions normally work?’’

 

‘’ Sure , I’d like that ‘’

 

‘’ First, I would like to get to know you better, ask questions about your family situation , your childhood , your life in general . I want this to be a safe place for you , you can share anything you want in here , and rest assured whatever you choose to disclose in your sessions will never leave this room . We can start slow , take baby steps , I will not at any point push you or press your buttons if you choose to be honest But if at any point I see you might need a little push, I will not hesitate to do so . Is that okay with you? ‘’ .

 

Lexa gulped a little ‘’ Sure , sounds fair ‘’

 

‘’I'm sorry, but I really have to ask. You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to . What happened to your eye ? ‘’ Clarke says, pointing at Lexa’s black eye.

 

Lexa chuckled a little avoiding eye contact . She remembered what Anya has told her ‘’ I went out last night to meet my cousin's girlfriend , and some asshole thought it was a good idea to slap my cousin's girlfriend’s ass. Long story short, we traded a few blows ‘’. Lexa said in a hushed voice, speaking very fast hoping the doctor wouldn’t hear her.

 

‘’As a doctor, part of me would say getting into fights probably doesn’t do your case any good , but another part is glad chivalry isn't dead , Though I'm in no way encouraging violence"

 

‘’ Thanks doc ‘’

 

‘’ Now that that’s out of the way , would you mind telling me about your family a little ?‘’ Clarke smiled reassuringly . Even though Clarke knew some details about Lexa - she did afterall read her file -she wanted to hear the information from Lexa. It could be a way to open the communication line .

 

Lexa nodded before speaking ‘’ I’m an only child ,well not for much longer my parents want to adopt. My family is pretty awesome, all of them are very supportive. My two best friends are my cousins. Anya may seem like a bitch when you first meet her, but she’s actually a very caring person so is Lincoln. We grew up together , did everything together , the three of us are pretty much inseparable .‘’

 

‘’Lexa why did you choose to be a detective? I mean I know about the Woods family and how well off they are. Your family owns half of this town. So why did you choose to protect and serve instead of being the one who’s being served ?’’ Clarke locked her eyes the big green irises in front of her .

 

‘’You know my dad asked me the same thing when I applied to the police academy . I’ll tell you the same thing I told him . Polis is my home. I grew up here , spent my whole life here . Polis’ streets are my streets in a way too . I learned how to ride a bike on the streets, I played in its play ground when I was a kid , I had my first heartbreak, my first love all happen here in Polis. Every memory I have is in here . Between the high buildings and low ground , the trees , the sea , the mountain, and somehow protecting Polis , the people of Polis , my people became more important to me than any luxury my money can offer . I could sit around all day wasting my parents money or I could go out to the streets and make a difference . Save someone , return someone’s retirement money , or stop a robbery or saving someone’s life. That’s what’s really important ‘’ Lexa said smiling to herself her eyes were shining.

 

Clarke could feel her admiration growing for this woman. She could see the pride in her face when talking about what she did. ‘’ I must say, Detective , that is a very good answer ‘’ her smile was widening by the minute .

 

‘’That’s why it is so important to me to get the all clear from you. I need to be out there , not staying behind a desk doing paperwork , tell me what I need to do.‘’

 

‘’ Tell you what , if you promise to keep coming to our sessions I’ll give you the all clear .’’

 

Lexa’s jaw dropped at hearing this , she couldn’t believe her ears . ‘’ You would do that ?’’

 

‘’ Of course . I only hope all of the force share your devotion to protect the city and its citizens . ‘’

 

Lexa had a small blush creeping up her cheeks .

 

‘’ But don’t think I’ll go easy on you in our next sessons ‘’ Clarke said voice teasing a little .

 

Lexa put a hand over heart ‘’ Oh , is that a threat doctor ?’’ Saying with the same teasing voice.

 

‘’ No, just a reminder , Now our session is over. I expect to see you in three days, Detective. Also keep in mind, my door is always open if you want to talk ‘’

 

‘’ Till next time doc ‘’ Lexa said before standing up and leaving . She was beyond excited. She gets to go back to work .

 

10:30  
AN : Hey , little one . Hope everything went well  
Text me when you’re done.  
Please tell me I don’t need to come to the station and bail you out  
Because your boobs killed the guy J

 

11:00  
Little commander : Everything went fine An  
It turns out Clarke is a 20-something blonde with blue eyes.

 

Anya’s reply came in a second.

 

11:00  
AN : Who gets forced to see a shrink and ends up with  
a 20-something blonde doctor?! I'm telling you Lex  
You must have done something amazing in your past life  
for your karma to be this good .

11:02  
Little commander : Very funny Anya .  
I'm on my way home  
Talk later .

 

11:03  
AN : About that , don’t be too late both mamas Woods  
decided to come over. THEY BROUGHT FOOD !!!

11:04  
Little commander : ANYA !! Not one word to my mother  
Got it ?

 

11:05  
AN : Might be too late for that .  
Indra already told her everything .  
Your little ass is busted .

11:06  
Little commander : Fucking hell.  
I’ll be there in 10 .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter we will meet Elizabeth woods Lexa's mother and funny stuff happenes


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> starts with Ranya fluff
> 
> it might get little dramatic in the flash back just a head up

After Lexa left, Anya and Lincoln sat in the living room. Lincoln had his feet on the coffee table while Anya put hers on Lincoln's lap. Anya was lazily stretching when both her phone and Lincoln's beeped.

‘’Octavia’’

‘’ Raven’’

‘’Sorry sis, I have to go , Octavia and I are going to have breakfast , wanna join? ‘’

 

‘’ Nope. Raven’s coming over ‘’

‘’Have fun ‘’

Anya winked at him ‘’ Oh I will , several ti…’’

Lincoln gesture for her to close her mouth ‘’ Filter Anya, remember, the thing you use before speaking ‘’.

 

Anya rolled her eyes ‘’ Yeah , yeah , whatever. Now get lost before my girlfriend arrives ‘’ to emphasize her words she poked Lincoln's rib with her foot.

 

Lincoln jumped up from the couch, startled ‘’ I'm going , I'm going’’.

 

After Lincoln had left, Anya ran to her bedroom to get ready for her girlfriend. She had what she thought a brilliant idea to surprise Raven .

 

After 10 minutes Raven arrived at her apartment , she brought cupcakes and donuts with her , knowing how much her girlfriend likes her sugary breakfast . She took the elevator to Anya's apartment and after hitting the code , the elevator doors opened to reveal the apartment's living room .

 

‘’ Anya? Babe I'm here ‘’ she was searching for her girlfriend until her eyes locked on Anya's , she looked her up and down. Anya was sitting on the couch and stood up when she heard Raven's voice. She stood up to greet her girlfriend moving closer to Raven .

 

Anya was wearing high heels with a silky robe that was hanging open, revealing her matching set of red underwear .

 

Raven took a moment to pick her jaw off of the floor and moved to her girlfriend, kissing her on the lips ‘’ Sweets for my sweet ‘’ she broke the kiss to show Anya the breakfast she brought.

‘’Later, I have something sweeter on my mind ‘’ Anya said, wrapping her arms around Raven and pushing her flush against her body before reattaching her lips to Raven's .  
The kiss started slow and innocently but didn’t stay that way for long. Anya ran her tongue over Raven's upper lip asking for permission, which was given to her immediately. They kissed for a long time, only breaking the kiss to have much needed air to breathe, when they looked at each others eyes, both their pupils were blown out , both panting , ‘’Damn Anya, I came here to thank Lexa for yesterday ‘’

 

Anya raised an eyebrow at her ‘’ Seriously Rae , I'm kissing the fuck out of you , and you're thinking about my cousin ‘’

Raven smiled sheepishly ‘’ Fine, couch now ‘’ she ordered Anya . They stumbled back to the couch, Raven sits first, lying on her back. She pulled her girlfriend on top of her ‘’ I missed you ‘’

 

‘’ I missed you more, little bird’’ Anya said before she continued kissing her girlfriend. Raven had her eyes closed, she could feel Anya's tongue dancing inside her mouth , and she moved hers to meet Anya's. She sucked gently on Anya's lower lip and could feel Anya's hand going up to undo her shorts buttons. Raven moved her hands to cup Anya's ass .

 

When Anya finished her mission on Ravens shorts , she shoved her hand inside the shorts tracing Raven's hot, wet, covered sex with her fingertips .

She keeps to her feather-light touches, driving her girlfriend crazy.

Raven growled with frustration ‘’ ANYAAAA!! Stop teasing and fuck me already’’

 

‘’ I suggest you move it to the bedroom ladies ‘’ Came the scolding sound above them .  
Anya froze, moving her head to the side in slow motion Oh dear lord , dear god , please let it be a nightmare  
Raven in her startled state pushed Anya off of her , which led the latter to fall on her ass with a THUD.

Anya looked up to see the two women in front of her, one was a black woman, with short black hair, with a murderous look on her face. Yeah, Indra Woods, her mother, was not happy busting Anya with her hand down her pants , well, other girl's pants.  
Technically, the second woman on the other hand was trying to stop herself from laughing so hard she was actually crying . Her aunt, Elizabeth Woods , was the spitting image of Lexa, with her green eyes and brown curls . Anya always said they were clones with 24 years age difference.

‘’ Are you planning on staying on the floor, dear ?’’ Elizabeth said, with a questioning look on her face .

 

‘’ Of course not, hello mom ‘’ Anya stood up, swinging her arms around Indra in a tight hug. ‘’Auntie’’ she gave the same hug to Elizabeth.

 

In the meantime, Raven was looking between the three women with her mouth wide open and a horrified look on her face. She wasn’t moving, she didn’t even look like she was breathing, she just kept repeating two words ‘’ Mom?’’ ‘’Auntie?’’

 

Elizabeth looked at Raven then at Anya, giving them both a kind smile ‘’ Anya, honey, I think your girlfriend is having a stroke ‘’ she seemed way too amused by this.  
Indra was shaking her head disappointedly ‘’ Fix your robe child, and do something about that ‘’ she said pointing at Raven.

 

Anya kneeled in front of her girlfriend cupping her cheeks in her hand ‘’ Baby, just breathe. It’s okay ‘’.

 

Raven just nodded her head and with a trembling voice said ‘’Hey , I'm Raven ‘’ shaking Indra’s and Elizabeth’s hands.

Elizabeth gave her a handshake and said ‘’ You might want to close your buttons, dear’’ .  
Raven's eyes darted to her shorts and only then realized that her zipper and buttons were open. She quickly fumbled with them ‘’ Sorry’’ her cheeks were painted red.  
Anya finally decided to cut the awkward vibe that they all felt , she put her arm on Raven's shoulder pushing her toward Indra ‘’Right , I know this isn’t what I had in mind for you guy's first meeting but, mom this is Raven , my girlfriend, the girl I told you about ‘’  
Raven snapped her head at Anya a small awe-struck smile showing on her face and she said in the sweetest, soft voice Anya had ever heard ‘’ Babe , you told your mother about me ?’’

Now it was Anya's turn to turn away, blushing ‘’I did’’  
‘’ Babe , that’s so sweet ‘’ Raven made Anya look at her before their lips collided.

 

‘’Ahemmmmm, we are still here ladies ‘’ Indra cleared her throat . Glaring at both her daughter and her daughter's girlfriend. ‘’ What is it with young people and their inability to show their affection in private ‘’

Elizabeth felt sorry for the couple , that was now looking at the floor with red cheeks ‘’ Come on Indra , we were all in love once , we were young once and did stupid things too ‘’  
‘’ Yes, but we were never horny enough to do it on the couch while the bedroom was a couple of feet away ‘’

‘’MOMMMMMM !!!!!’’ Anya yelled .

‘’ Oh, so now you’re embarrassed ‘’ Indra scoffed.

‘’ Indra , come on. Let it go . Now where is that daughter of mine?’’

 

‘’ If Tweedledum is here, I'm sure Tweedledee is not too far ‘’

Raven was laughing so hard Anya had to jab her in the ribs , she looked over at Anya and mouthed ‘’ Tweedledum’’ which made Anya just roll her eyes .  
‘’Actually, mother, Lexa is not here ‘’

 

‘’She must be at the therapist , I told you what Kane said ‘’ Indra now looked at Elizabeth .

On hearing that Anya was perplexed. _How the hell did Indra find it? Did Kane tell her? Oh my god, Lexa is going to have my head on a stick_ .

 

‘’ Right ‘’ said Elizabeth voice full of concern .

Indra saw the concern in Elizabeth eyes ‘’ Come on Lizzie , let's get some food ready for her when she gets back .

 

Elizabeth and Indra were making their way to the kitchen when Anya started rubbing soothing circles over Raven's back ‘’ I'm sorry baby , I didn’t know they were coming ‘’

 

‘’ Dude, your mother is one intimidating cookie ‘’ as soon as she finished her sentence she heard Indra's voice from the kitchen ‘’ Anya, bring that girlfriend of yours in here I want to get to meet her, properly .’’

Raven was ready to run away through the door, but Anya grabbed her ‘’ Please , for me ‘’ her girlfriend looked at her with pleading eyes .

‘’ Fine’’

Anya and Raven entered the kitchen . Anya sat down on the kitchen table while , Raven moved to where Indra was standing .’’How can I help you ma’am ‘’

 

Indra smirked a little ‘’ Well mannered, that's very good , which is more than can I say about my lazy daughter ‘’

‘’ Tell me, child, what do you do ?’’

‘’I'm a mechanic ma’am , I have my own work shop , and I do other stuff with the police ‘’

‘’ She’s a genius mom , NASA offered her a job , but she refused ‘’

‘’ Wonderful , beauty and brain ‘’

Elizabeth added ‘’ She is a keeper Anya ‘’

Anya looked at Raven with loving eyes ‘’ I know’’

‘’ What about your family, dear ?’’

Raven looked somewhat uncomfortable, starting to shift on her feet ‘’ I , uh , um I left the house when I was 14 ma’am , I didn’t have the best parents growing up and …’’ Raven trailed off she had a pained looked in her eyes .

Anya was next to her in a second she hugged Raven and whispered something in her ear , Raven just shook her head and smiled a little ‘’ I'm fine’’.  
Indra looked at her daughter , she was surprised. Anya never cared for anyone's feelings, unless they were a family member. Even than, she was never affectionate. Seeing her daughter like this was enough proof that Anya was in love with this girl and that made Indra feel bad about the way she reacted, more so now that she almost made the girl cry .

‘’ Well, dear, you have Anya now ‘’ she added, ‘’ And her family , if you would like us ‘’ she went over to Raven and gave her one of those motherly embraces. Raven was stiff at first , she was not expecting the ever so scary woman to be this kind. After her initial response, she melted right back into the hug.

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

Lexa was 10 minutes away from her house , she got a message from Anya informing her that her dear mother and aunt were waiting for her at home ‘’ Great’’ Not that Lexa hates her family or anything, on the contrary, she absolutely loves all of them. It’s just, sometimes, they get a little overboard with their affection .

 

She stopped a couple of minutes away from her house at a red sign , that’s when she heard it, blaring sirens coming from an ambulance behind her , all of the sudden her hands started shaking , her vision blurred , her heart was beating in her ears , and it was hard for her to breathe. She draws her hand away from the wheel and puts it over her heart , she tries to control her breathing.

1,2,3 breath in

1,2,3, breath out .

She tried shaking her head and moving. But to no avail, nothing was helping her to breathe. She closed her eyes . Her heart beating so fast she felt like it’s going to explode.

When she opened her eyes, she was no longer in her car driving home, now she was back in her apartment six months ago.

FLASH BACK

** Lexa was lying on the floor surrounded by a pool of her own blood. She couldn't move her left shoulder nor hand. Every time she tried, she felt pain shooting through all over her body , her knee looked fucked up and she couldn’t stand , her other shoulder had a bullet stuck in it which was making her lose a lot of blood .  
Lexa held in her hands a dying Costia. Costia had a bullet that seemed to be somewhere in her chest , she was looking Lexa in the eye, smiling faintly .  
Lexa applied pressure on the bullet wound with her right hand ‘’ Hey, baby, stay with me ‘’ Lexa said crying .  
Costia reached her hand out and wiped the tears that were rolling down Lexa’s cheek. ‘’ I love you , I didn’t want to leave you so soon baby , forgive me ‘’

 

Lexa frowned shaking her head ‘’ Look at me, you’re not dying, just hang in there ‘’ she could almost hear the ambulance coming .  
Costs body began to shake ‘’ I can’t, baby, just know I loved you and I always will ‘’

 

Lexa all but screamed ‘’ YOU ARE NOT DYING, you hear me, you promised! You and me against the world , god you promised you would never leave me alone ‘’

 

‘’ I never will , I love….’’ Costia didn’t get to finish her sentence her eyes closed and her breathing stop .

 

‘’ Costia ‘’ Lexa whispered ‘’ Costia’’ Lexa start shaking the girl's body , she didn’t care about the pain that was shooting through her body ‘’ Costia , baby come on I'm here , open your eyes , baby open your eyes ‘’ she tried slapping Costias face ‘’ No come on ‘’ she put Costia you the ground and started doing SPR. ‘’Come on baby , I'm right here , you can do it , remember ‘’ she put both her hands on Costia's heart and started pushing ‘’ Come on! Wake up! COSTIAAAA!! ‘’ She put her mouth on Costia's, blowing air in ‘’COSTIA you can’t die , one girl , one boy , a big house with a white fence. We’re going to get married , you can’t die! We, we are going to have a family ‘’ In all her hysterical crying Lexa didn’t see Anya and the paramedics standing in the door, watching her .

 

Anya came closer to Lexa, putting a hand on her shoulder and gestured for the paramedics to take the two dead bodies lying on the floor. When one of them put his hand on Costia , Lexa pulled the gun next to her and pointed it at him ‘’Don’t touch her , she’s not dead , we’re getting married ‘’ she turned to face Anya ‘’Anya, please, don’t let them take her. She is going to be my wife , please ‘’

 

Anya gave her a sad, sympathetic look ‘’honey, she is already dead, now let these guys do their work , we need to get you to a hospital ‘’

At hearing that Lexa returned her face and gun at the paramedic ‘’ I swear if anyone gets near her , I’ll kill them ‘’ . ‘’Costia, baby, come on, open your eyes’’ she went back to kneeling against Costia ‘’ Open your eyes, come on, ‘’ she held Costia's face in her hands and kissed her forehead ‘’Please , don’t leave me alone. I will never forgive you if you die, just open your eyes, I promise I’ll do better just open your eyes ‘’ she started yelling and screaming, tears running freely down her cheeks .

 

Anya stood frozen, she had never seen Lexa like this. If only she could take away her pain, now she needed to be strong for her , she needed to take Lexa to the hospital .

 

She went to the paramedics, taking a sedative and walked up to Lexa. She kneeled down, next to Lexa , ‘’Lexa, sweetheart, ‘’ when Lexa turned to face her , Anya stuck the sedative needle in her neck, holding Lexa ‘’ I'm sorry’’  
Lexa felt a needle in her neck and all her limbs went numb ‘’Anya, please let me stay with her, I need to tell her I'm sorry ,’’ ‘’ I'm sorry , I'm sorry , I'm sorry’’  
Lexa kept repeating until she was out of consciousness.***

END FLASHBACK

Lexa was crying and shaking in her car so viciously. She was brought back to reality by a hard knock on her window. A man stood next to her side of the car .’’ Hey lady, are you ok .?’’

She only nodded her head .

 

‘’ Well, then do you mind moving your car, we’ve been here for 20 minutes.

 

‘’I'm sorry ‘’ was all Lexa said, before she started driving again to her apartment .

 

When she got there she looked at her mirror wiping her eyes from the tears and forcing herself to smile, she didn’t want anyone to question her about why she had been crying.  
When she got to her apartment , her nostrils were assaulted by the smell of bacon , French toast, and pancakes with other goodies. She could hear Anya bitching about having to wait for her to eat .

 

Anya was sitting at the table next to Raven, across from her sat Elizabeth and Indra .

 

‘’Can we eat now ‘’ Anya reached over to put a pancake on her plate when her hand was slapped away by her mother .

 

‘’ Unbelievable. If I didn’t know better, I would have sworn you were raised by wolves Anya ‘’ .

 

Everyone chuckled a bit about this, while Anya huffed in annoyance ‘’ Look, I already texted Lexa she’s on her way, so let's just eat ‘’

 

‘’I'm here now , no one better be stopping between Anya and her food’’  
All four women turned their heads to see Lexa ,

‘’ God damn finally ‘’ Anya rushed over to put food in her plate .

The other two older women stood from the table, smiling fondly at Lexa until she came closer and the smile faded from their faces .

‘’ Oh my god , My babyyyyy what happened to your pretty face ‘’ Elizabeth ran over to hug her daughter , while Indra seemed to be rooted in her place eyes hardening looking at Anya as if to say how did you let that happen , Anya completely oblivious kept stuffing her face with food .  
‘’ Ma, I'm fine ‘’  
Her mother dropped her hands only to be indulged in another embrace by Indra .

‘’ How did this happen child ? Who’s ass am I going to kick ‘’

‘’ Guys come on, I'm fine , I'm an officer of the law. I think I can handle a black eye .’’ Lexa sighs exasperatedly.

‘’Come, honey , you need to eat something , you are all bones ‘’.

Anya and Raven were showing a smirk , while the two older women were all over Lexa.  
‘’ I can’t agree more ‘’ Indra said .

Elizabeth held a pancake and brought it to Lexa’s mouth ‘’ Come on, darling, open up ‘’ smiling at her daughter .

 

Lexa was not in the mood for all of this , she just wanted to lay in her bed and stay there .’’ I AM NOT A CHILD , I CAN FEED MYSELF ‘’ Lexa said smacking the palms of her hand on the table . ‘’ Now, if you will excuse me ‘’ she said standing up.

 

tbc......


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW : drug use

Lexa stood from the table and walked to her room , she missed the hurt look on her mother's face and the confused look on all the other three women , she went inside her bathroom and open the medicine cabinet, every time she gets one of her flashbacks , her shoulder and knee starts to sting with pain , it’s like even her muscles can remember what happened , she knew she should have listened to Dr.Abby Kane when she told her to go to physical therapy , but she just didn’t care back then .

 

Now though, she was regretting it. It felt like a 1000 tiny pins were poking her knee and shoulder , she wanted to crawl out of her skin or scratch it , anything to make her aching bones and muscles to stop hurting.

 

She continued to fumble a little inside the cabinet with her hands shaking, until she found what she was looking for , behind her mouth wash, hiding from prying eyes, stood a little orange bottle with oxycodone written on the bottom , full of white little pills. She opened the lid and shook two pills in her left hand , she put the bottle back where she found it and closed the cabinet .

 

Lexa looked at her own reflection in the bathroom mirror before she put the pills in her mouth and chugged some water from the glass next to the sink, she knows she shouldn’t be taking those pills , they are highly addictive but the pain never leaves her body until she takes them.

 

She turned on the water in the shower and began discarding her clothes. When she was fully naked, she stepped into the shower. She turned on the hot water in hopes it would wash away all the dark thoughts that were clouding her mind , she hoped she could wash away the memories that plagued her .  
‘’Fuck , pull your shit together . You can’t go running around yelling at your mom , you hear me , you finish your shower, then go back to the kitchen with your tail between your legs and apologize ‘’ Lexa was having an argument with herself . ‘’Shit’’ it was all too much for her , she just wanted to be left alone, but her thoughts seems to be lingering about that horrible night six months ago.

 

She brought her knuckles up to the shower tiles and hit them once , then again, then again and again until her knuckles hurt too much and the cuts from last night reopened , but somehow the pain took away all her other thoughts , she took a deep breath and let it out slowly , she repeated the motions couple of times until she felt better , she turned off the shower and got out , she went inside her bedroom after she put a towel around herself , she picked up a short navy blue pajama shorts and a black shirt with candle posters on it , after that she walked back to the kitchen trying to ask for her moms forgiveness. ‘’ Damn, it’s going to be a long day’’

 

 

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

 

The three women left around the table were looking at Elizabeth , her eyes held so much hurt so much sadness .

 

Anya tried to broke the awkward silence ‘’ Hey auntie, you know she didn’t mean to yell , she is probably having one of those bad days’’

 

Elizabeth sighed she knew her daughter was just pretending to be fine , while in fact she was hurting a great deal , Lexa has been like that ever since she was a little kid , she remembered when Lexa broke her hand when she was 9 , and refused to admit she was in pain until two days later , when Elizabeth was told her to remove the make shift bandage she put on her injury. When Elizabeth saw the swelling and the blue mark on her hand, she gasped loudly and made her daughter go with her to the hospital , even back then Lexa was irritated and kept giving death glares to the doctors .

 

When she came home with a 9 year old Lexa behind her , huffing and puffing , she marched straight to her husband's book study and started to complain about how stubborn their daughter is. Lexa was looking at the floor, avoiding her father's eyes, until she heard a giggle , she looked up and saw her mother red faced from anger and her dad giggling at his brave kid. She remembers how Alexander told Lexa to come close and sit on his lap while her gave her a tight hug and told her ‘’Of course , my little warrior is so strong and powerful , but honey when you get hurt , you should tell mommy and daddy so we can take care of you ‘’

 

9 year old Lexa puffed her chest out , held her chin up high and told her ‘’I'm 9, I'm a big girl , I don’t need anyone to take care of me ‘’

Elizabeth was about to start pulling her hair out, when Alexander laughed a little and told his little girl ‘’ It doesn’t matter how big you are , you will always be my little girl. And no matter what, me and your mom will always want to take care of you. Admitting you're hurt makes you look stronger, baby , beside it gives me and your mom a chance to spend more time with you , maybe go to that aquarium you like ‘’

 

Lexa’s eyes lit up at that ‘’Okay daddy , I’ll tell you next time ‘’ Alexander just laughed at his daughter's answer.

 

‘’Alexandria Woods, there better be no next time! You hear me, young lady? ‘’ Elizabeth said .

‘’ Yes, mommy’’

 

She knew back then her daughter was going to be a handful , and growing up only proved she was right about her daughter; every time she got hurt or she fell down , she would always lock herself in her bedroom or go out camping alone , it was Lexas way of keeping her feelings to herself , keeping her suffering at bay because somehow she got it in her mind that people only stick with you when you’re funny and having fun , no one wanted to spend their time listening to someone bitching and crying over how life fucked them over in one way or another. That, and Lexa’s refusal to show any signs of weakness , she would never cry; thinking people would think less of her. She would always keep her emotionless mask in place around everyone, because, to Lexa, suffering alone was always better than sharing her suffering with other people , even if they were family, Elizabeth let out an exasperated sigh at this.

 

‘’ I know Anya , I know ‘’

Raven was shifting uncomfortably in her seat , she felt like she was intruding on a special family thing so she inched her face closer to Anya's ear and whispered ‘’ Maybe I should leave ‘’

 

Anya shook her head ‘’ No. It’s ok ‘’ ‘’ Hey come on people , why the long faces , you know Lexa has a big heart , she will be coming any minute now to apologize ‘’

 

Indra moved her hand and put it on Elizabeth’s shoulder reassuringly ‘’ You know , maybe cut her some slack , she’s been through a lot these past couple of months , work and …’’

Elizabeth cut her off before she could finish ‘’And what Indra , am I supposed to just stand still and do nothing while watching my only daughter disappear? I never asked for this , I never wanted her to join the damn force , I begged her not! ‘’

 

‘’Lexa is a big girl auntie , she choose to protect people ‘’ Anya said, nodding at her own answer.

 

‘’ For what Anya? Did you ever think about us? You and your stubborn cousin decided to become detectives and protect people, risking your life everyday, but what about your family? Did you ever think about what will happen to us, if something bad ever happened to you guys? ‘’

 

‘’ I'm sorry , but you have to know it’s not just about our family. Every detective has their own family in the department , all of them are somebody's child or somebody's father, mother, sister, or brother, we all risk our life for the people we care about ‘’

 

Raven was eyeing Anya as she spoke. Her eyes full of awe and pride. She entangled her hand with Anya’s under the table as a small smile creeped on her face Indra turned her attention to Elizabeth, opening her mouth to talk to the woman, when Lexa walked in; her hand massaging her knee as she walked. She moved straight to her mother and kissed the top of her head ‘’ I'm sorry , I haven’t eaten yet and you know how bitchy I get with a low blood sugar ‘’ she made a joke trying to ease some of the tension in the room and then sat in the chair next to her mother , ‘’ Now please , let’s eat. I don’t want to accidentally bite Anya’s head off ‘’ she giggled a little at her own joke , making everyone smile at her .

 

Lexa reached out for her mother’s hand, holding a fork of pancakes and moved it to her mouth ‘’ Thanks mom , best pancakes ever , ‘’

 

Elizabeth smile widened at that ‘’ I'm glad you like it, sweetie ‘’

 

‘’ Oh Lexa , how is the shiner ‘’ Raven said after she took a bite of her pancake , Lexa and Anya looked at each other with a horrified gaze.

 

That sparked Elizabeth and Indra’s attention ‘’ Yeah honey , how did you get the black eye ‘’

 

‘’ Bar fight ‘’ Raven said. 

‘’ Slipped in the shower ‘’ Lexa said , while Anya said ‘’ I ran into her’’

 

The three of them said that in unison, making the two older women looking at them, quizzically.

 

‘’ Yes , well see Lexa slipped in the shower , and I heard her scream so I ran towards the sound, but the electricity was off so I just bumped into her ? ‘’ Anya’s answer would be more believable if it hadn't come out as a question.

 

‘’ Puffff, I'm sure that’s what happened ‘’ Indra turned her attention to Raven ‘’Raven, child , I know you speak the truth , tell us what happened ‘’

 

Raven sank in her chair. Anya and Lexa were looking at her, shaking their head.

 

‘’ Well , I , um , I. I plead the fifth ‘’ Raven stuttered over her words.

 

‘’Good answer Raven ‘’ Lexa nodded approvingly .

 

Indra looked between the three young women, scolding, while Elizabeth smirked a little ‘’ Anya , is that a hickey on you neck? ‘’

 

Anya was shocked, hearing her aunt talk about that. She knew she would be in deep shit if she didn’t change the subject ASAP . ‘’ Lexa had a bar fight with a drunk guy , who slapped Raven’s ass ‘’

 

Lexa wass drinking her juice when Anya spoke those words which caused her to choke and spilling her juice all over ‘’Damn it Anya !!! , I thought you had my back ‘’ Lexa whined a little .

 

‘’ Well, little cousin, better your ass than mine , thank you very much ‘’

 

‘’ I can’t believe you would throw me to the wolves like that ‘’ Lexa said with a sigh, drawing an exaggerated eye roll from the two older women.

 

‘’Wolves, huh ? I forgot how very dramatic you are ‘’ Anya said

 

Raven was giggling lowly; when she first meet Lexa, she thought the brunette was cold and emotionless , from the way everyone talked about Lexa in the police department, she thought she was going to meet a 10 feet tall woman full of rage and bitchiness , but what she gathered from last night and today Lexa , was a pretty decent human being , she cared for other people and wanted to protect them but what she was surprised about , was the teasing nature Lexa had whenever she was talking with Anya , the two acted more like sisters than cousins , they had so much respect for one another , and they would absolutely do anything to get the other to crack a smile , she could tell Anya felt like she was somehow responsible for Lexa and would do everything in her power to make sure her cousin would be safe and happy , while the two older women raised their eyebrows at Lexa.

 

Lexa's attentio was only on Anya and she was glaring at her, Anya simply shrugged. Then an idea came to Lexa’s mind ‘’Well, look at that, Raven has the same hickey on her neck, are you still reading those A/B/O fanfiction Anya? You might wanna watch out for your ass, Raven, with this one ‘’ she pointed at Anya .

 

Anya’s eyes were comically wide ‘’You did not just say that , candle whore ‘’

 

‘’ Well, being a candle whore is better than being a sex addict ‘’ all the women around the table gasped at this.

 

‘’At least I'm not the one who got caught butt naked in the janitor's closet with Santana Lopez ‘’ Anya huffed.

 

It was Lexa’s turn to gasp ‘’ What was that Anya? I can’t hear you , your humongous hickey is too distracting ‘’

 

The other three women were looking between Anya and Lexa with their mouths open, watching them like it was a tennis match .

 

‘’ Whatever you say little cousin , just keep in mind who helped you free that poor girl from the hand cuffs you used on her , cause your stupid ass was too drunk to remember where you put the key ‘’ Anya said with a smirk.

 

‘’I have a gun and I'm not afraid to use it ‘’ Lexa snapped at Anya

 

Indra had enough and interrupted the little insult match that was going on between the two cousins ‘’ Ladies , both your mothers are here , please don’t forget that ‘’  
Both cousins turned bright red at this, while Raven looked to be too amused ‘’ Woow , Lexa has game ‘’

‘’Yeah, very kinky one I might add’’ Anya said with a grin .

 

‘’Anya , please, I don’t want to know what my daughter's preference in the bedroom is ‘’ Elizabeth said shaking her head .

 

If looks would kill, Anya would be 10 times dead because of the death glares Lexa was giving her.

 

‘’ Enough children , we came here to see if the two of you and Lincoln want to come to see Aden , he was talking none stop about you , and apparently Lexa has promised to go pick him up from school‘’

 

‘’ Shit’’ Lexa mumbled under her breath , she forgot she had promised Aden to pick him up from school and go to the mall to buy him some stuff.

 

‘’Make sure he doesn’t eat too much ice cream , I know all about your adventures in the mall every time you pick him up from school ‘’ Elizabeth told her daughter.

 

Lexa hummed her approval ‘’ I can’t promise anything , no one can resist his pout ‘’

 

‘’Who is Aden ? ‘’ Raven questioned

 

‘’The newest addition to the Woods family ‘’ Elizabeth said with a wide smile that reached her ears.

‘’Where is Lincoln by the way? ‘’ Indra said

 

Both cousins shared a smirk ‘’ He is probably our there reciting poetry to his girlfriend ‘’ Anya said while Lexa made kissing noises , both cousins burst out laughing at this and high fived each other .

 

Indra looked with a scold on her face at Raven ‘’ I have no idea how you can tolerate her, Raven seriously , she acts like a child ‘’

Elizabeth nodded ‘’ They both do ‘’

 

‘’It’s not my fault, he's totally whipped ‘’

Raven looked at her girlfriend fluttering her eyelashes ‘’So if I asked you to read me poetry you wouldn’t ?’’

 

Anya groaned ‘’ Sure thing babe, anything you want ‘’

 

‘’ I'm happy to see Lincoln isn't the only one who’s whipped , tsk ,tsk’’ Lexa said shaking her head .

 

Earning a laugh from everyone sitting around the table.

 

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Clarke sat behind the desk in her office , She was trying to write her notes about the session she had had with the detective , but all she could focus on was the detectives eyes; green, forest green, they looked so sad and burdened, so much strength yet somehow vulnerable. In her experience with a therapist and actually being one , she could tell the young detective was haunted by whatever had happened to her and she knew she was holding something back. Then, an idea crossed her mind, she reached for her phone and dialed the number she knows by heart , her mother’s number. Maybe her mom could help her put the pieces together to figure out a course of action .

The phone rang a couple of times before her mother’s voice came through the other end .

‘’Hey honey , everything ok ?’’

‘’ Yeah mom , I was just wondering if you have any free time to go to the mall with me , maybe have lunch ‘’

‘’Sure thing honey , I'm always free to spend time with my favourite daughter ‘’ Abby replied excitedly.

Clarke rolled her eyes ‘’ I'm your only daughter, mom ‘’

‘’ You know what I mean , meet you there in ten , bye sweetie ‘’

 _‘’Great, now I only have to convince her to share what she know about Lexa’’_ Clarke thought .

 

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

Kane and Abby were sitting in their home, around the breakfast table .  
Kane had been silent all morning, sighing every couple of minutes. Abby had noticed this but refused to comment until now ‘’ What’s going Marcus? You seem a little upset ‘’

Marcus sighed before answering ‘’ It’s Lexa , I keep thinking about what happened , she was fresh out of the academy and I sent her there without back up ‘’ he sighed again.

‘’You can’t change anything now , so stop worrying , you didn’t know what was going to happen ‘’ Abby said with a soft voice .

‘’But , it was my job to know , she was so young, so full of life , her eyes had a spark to them , her excitement could change a room's atmosphere , and now she looks more like a zombie , I did this Abby , I am the cause ‘’

Abby reached for his hand ‘’ Honey , you need to stop blaming yourself , no one is blaming you , you did what you thought was right , sending her undercover was the right thing ‘’

He squeezed Abby’s hand ‘’ everyone is thinking what they do is the right thing , but this wasn’t Abby , it broke her ‘’

‘’Stop being so hard on yourself , I met Lexa , she is a very stubborn , persistent, young women , maybe she just needs a little push in the right direction to get over it .’’

‘’ I hope so ‘’

‘’Beside, have some faith in Clarke. I'm sure she will help her ‘’

‘’ I do , I have faith in both of them ‘’

‘’By the way Clarke called , she wanted me to meet her at the mall ‘’

Kane smiled a little ‘’ That should be fun ‘’

‘’You and I both know why she wants to have lunch , she wants information on Lexa ‘’ Abby giggled.

‘’ Yes , probably. If I'm being totally honest , I thought those two would kill each other , the both of them are so stubborn it’s uncanny ‘’

‘’I thought so too ‘’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think people .
> 
> SHOULD CLEXA BE MORE SLOW BURN ??


	7. Luck Is Not a Lady

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry For the late update people the fam were visiting

Lexa was sitting in her car in front of Aden’s school, tapping her fingers at the steering wheel impatiently. She can’t find a damn parking spot for her matte black 2010 Ford GT GeigerCars HP790 car; it was a gift from her parents last year on her birthday , she considered the car one of her most prized possessions. After 20 minutes, she finally found a spot to park.

 

She got out of her car and headed straight to the school doors, taking a left turn to get to Aden’s class. There, she found Aden, the sandy blonde haired, hazel eyes, lanky boy, happily drawing something she couldn't see from her distance. Waiting with Aden was Niylah and damn it , luck is certainly not on her side today, Lexa thought. Niylah is Aden’s teacher , she is very sweet and kind with the kids, but every time she sees Lexa, she gets too handsy with her; touching her forearms, and checking her bicep muscle saying ‘’ Oh detective, I see you still work out , maybe I should join you in the gym , or maybe we can work out together ‘’ yeah it was weird for Lexa that every time she'd step in Aden’s school, she'd get surrounded by his teachers or worse, the soccer moms. She hates coming to the school just for that reason but, she will do anything for Aden , including swallowing her discomfort and pretending not to see all the 'I wanna tear your clothes off' looks .

 

‘’ Lexie ‘’ the young 9 year old boy jumped up and down excitedly , running to hug his big sister .

 

Lexa kneeled down and picked Aden up ‘’Wow there little guy , what are they feeding you ? You’re so big, I can barely hold you ‘’ she pretended to be struggling with his weight .

 

Aden gave her a toothy grin ‘’I'm a man now lexie , check out my muscles ‘’ he started flexing his bicep muscle .

 

Lexa touched his bicep ‘’ Have you been working out ?’’

 

‘’No Lexie , I'm growing , it’s completely normal for my age ‘’ he nodded his head.

 

Lexa couldn’t help the smile that was tugging at her lips ‘’ Yeah , you are ‘’

 

Lexa’s whole body tenses up as she suddenly felt a hand on her shoulder , she turned around to see who it was , and was meet by Niylah’s seductive smile

‘’ Detective, it’s been so long since you dropped by , I missed you ‘’

 

Lexa quirked an eyebrow at that , not expecting Aden’s teacher to be so close, the proximity between them was none existing when she said those words , she could feel Niylah’s hot breath on her face.

 

Niylah sensing she overstepped, quickly took a step back and said ‘’I mean Aden , he missed you so much. He talks about you all the time, detective , you’re his hero ‘’

 

Lexa smiled a little ‘’I missed you too Ade. We can go now if you’re ready ‘’

 

Aden snuggled more to Lexa , pushing his head in the crook of her neck.

 

Niylah’s smile faltered at this ‘’ Sure, Detective Woods , we were just waiting for you , we finished our class 25 minutes ago ‘’

 

‘’Ok buddy, go get you back pack and we should be on our way ‘’

 

Lexa put Aden on the floor to go get his bag, but instead he turned and held Niylah’s hand tugging her along , he looked up at Lexa with his most pleading gaze ‘’Lexie , can Niylah come too ? pleasseeeeeeeeeee?’’

 

Lexa looked like a deer caught in the head light ‘’Sure thing Aden. But maybe we should ask her if she has free time to come..’’ Lexa was interrupted by Niylah , who grabbed her purse from on top of her disk in lighting speed and all but yelled ‘’Of course I'm free , we can hang out as much as you want to‘’

 

Lexa groaned inwardly , while Aden and Niylah were clapping their hands too excitedly .

 

The three left the school and headed for the mall, Lexa kept reminding herself to smile if not for anything else than Aden's enthusiasm. She will not ruin her time with her brother just because she was uncomfortable with his teacher’s gaze , or the suggestive smile she used whenever speaking with Lexa.

 

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

Clarke was waiting for her mom at the mall entrance , she was checking her Instagram and really any media outlet , searching for a certain brunette , she didn’t know why she was doing that , she just couldn’t get those emerald eyes out of her mind , and she was too eager to find out anything, anything at all, about Lexa. She couldn’t help but feel any folder or file would not be able to summarize the mystery that is detective Lexa Woods.

A voice from behind her made her jump a little , she was so focused on what she was doing , she couldn’t see Abby behind her .

 

‘’Hey honey ‘’

‘’ Hey mom ‘’ The two woman shared a hug then walked around to the restaurants on the mall's top floor. After they sat down Abby began ‘’So how are you doing ?’’

 

‘’I'm good, everything is good ‘’

 

‘’What about work ? ‘’

 

‘’Work is good too ‘’

 

‘’Anyone new in your love life ?’’

 

‘’Mom!!!’’ Clarke said whining

 

‘’Come on Clarke , I'm not getting any younger , I want to see my grandkids while I can still take them to the park and play with them ‘’

 

Clarke shook her head ‘’Mom , you know I'm focused on work right now , beside, I'm still too young to have a baby ‘’

 

Abby knew her daughter was too stubborn to talk to her about her love life ‘’Sooo, were you able to meet with the detective Marcus sent to talk to you ?’’

 

‘’ Yes , I met her this morning ‘’

 

‘’And , what do you think ? Come on Clarke, I knew you didn’t call me here cause you missed me , we saw each other last night , so tell me what’s on your mind’’

 

Clarke answered , chewing her bottom lip nervously ‘’About that, I gave her the all clear for active duty and I want to make sure I made the right decision , so what can you tell me about her ? How do you even know her ?’’

 

‘’YOU DID WHATT !!!?? ‘’ Abby exclaimed somewhat showing her disbelieve at Clarke's action.

‘’What ?, Last time I checked she was my patient ‘’ said Clarke defensively.

 

‘’Honey , it’s not like that I'm not questioning your abilities as a doctor , it’s just that Marcus and I were worried about Lexa, she can be a little manipulative , not in a bad kind of a way , but in a way that she won’t admit her injuries or how much pain she is in. She hides behind an emotionless , ruthless façade , which makes it hard to know how she’s feeling or what she’s thinking , beside, I wasn’t sure if she was fit to go back to active duty ‘’ Abby said with a sigh.

 

Clarke nodded her head ‘’I agree with you mom , I also figured she isn’t much of a talker , that’s why I have to compromise with her. I knew if I want her to trust me , I had to give her a reason to , I recognized the lost look in her eyes . She needs a reason to get better, she needs a reason to wake up every morning , a purpose. That’s why I gave her the all clear ‘’

 

‘’I know you’re a great doctor Clarke , if anyone’s going to help her , it is you . I'm a bit worried she might have PTSD though ‘’

 

‘’How do you know that ? You still haven’t told me how you know her ?’’ Clarke said meeting her mom’s eyes .

 

‘’I know her family , and her aunt Indra is one of Marcus’s closest friends. I've known her since she was a little kid that and , I was her main physician when she was brought over to the hospital. She was hurt pretty badly , there were signs of being tortured but when asked about how she sustained her injuries , she never gave a straight answer, she refused to talk about what had happened . In my opinion her physical scars were nothing compared to her mental scars , that’s why I thought it was a good idea for you to talk to her ‘’ Abby averted her eyes from Clarke to the floor ‘’We had to restrain her when she woke up after her knee surgery , she kept screaming and trying to leave. In the end, we had to sedate her . She became a different person after that , so much different from the funny sarcastic little rebellious kid I know her to be ,‘’ she breathed a sigh .

 

Clarke felt her heart sinking at her mother’s words. It must have been awful to wake up alone in a hospital bed, and not have any control over your body or anything else for that matter .

 

Clarke’s hand came up to her mother’s hand and squeezed gently ‘’What else can you tell me ?’’

 

‘’I don’t know what to tell you Clarke , all I know is that the girl needs help but she refuses to acknowledge that . Did she open up in the session? , I know she’s a private person ‘’ Abby said studying her daughters feature carefully.

 

‘’I don’t know yet , I can’t seems to get a read on her , I can tell she doesn’t like to talk about whatever she is going through, I can see she’s struggling though , but it’s only her first session , and giving her the ok to go back to active duty might be the push she needs to share ‘’

 

‘’ I can tell you this , Lexa is a great kid , she is also very sweet , she just likes to act tough. She keeps everything close to her heart and everyone at arms length because of what happened. I don’t know if you know this but , Lexa actually fell in love with her target's daughter , she was able to turn her too . She called Marcus, giving him all the evidence he needed to finish her mission , she even told him she was going to take a couple of days off to spend time with the girl , I believe her name was Costia , the same girl they found dead in Lexa’s apartment the next day ‘’ Abby’s eyes were glossy once she finished her talk.

 

Clarke wasn’t faring any better , her tears were beginning to build stinging her eyes ‘’ God mom . I just want to help her even more , I felt so much pain hiding behind her eyes , I know it’s weird but, I feel like I want to protect her no matter what and take away all her pain. She acts like she’s in control , like she’s above it all but her eyes betray her , I just didn’t know it was THAT much PAIN ‘’ she said emphasizing her words.

 

Abby smiled at her daughter ‘’I knew you would help her Clarke , I'm really hoping she does open up to you , that girl needs at least one person who she can be honest with and talk to about what’s on her mind , she doesn’t have to bear it alone all by herself ‘’

 

‘’ I sure hope so , I wish to be that person for her ‘’ she sighed.

 

Abby smiled ‘’ Maybe you can help her move on too , according to her aunt she has been living like a nun the last six month ‘’

 

Clarke rolled her eyes at this ‘’Mom, she is a patient , I can’t exactly ask her for drinks or to hang out , even though she is like a super model ‘’ her eyes widen as soon as she realized what she said to her mother.

 

‘’ Is she now ? ‘’ Abby said with mischief in her eyes.

 

‘’Please, you know what I mean ‘’

 

‘’Alright , alright , no need to be so defensive ‘’

 

Abby and Clarke were too invested in their conversation to notice the three figures coming to the restaurant .

 

‘’Lexieee , food now!! I'm starving ‘’ Aden said from behind Lexa’s back enjoying the piggyback ride she was giving him.

 

‘’I know kid , but could you like , I don’t know , not scream in my ear ?’’

 

Niylah smiled at the scene in front of her , the full on look of joy Aden has, wrapping his tiny arms around his sister , and the peaceful look on Lexa’s face. Seeing Lexa like this only made her want to get closer to her, sure the Detective comes off as aloof sometimes , but whenever she’s with Aden, Niylah can see the real Lexa , or at least she hopes so.

 

‘’Lexie , burger and chips now ‘’ Aden shouted too excitedly

 

Lexa didn’t say anything she just turned her head and glared at Aden

 

‘’Please ?’’ he said as a whisper

 

Lexa rolled her eyes ‘’That’s better, as soon as we sit, you can have all the burgers you want , deal ?’’

 

Aden nodded his head vehemently while Lexa was smiling at him.

 

Niylah stepped closer to Lexa and Aden , wrapping her hand around Lexa’s shoulder so she can talk to Aden , she was facing Lexa , their bodies were practically flushed against one another. Lexa was startled by the touch but didn’t show her discomfort , she couldn’t flinch away from the other woman in front of her, because Niylah had one of her hands draped around Lexa’s shoulder while the other was ruffling Aden’s hair.

 

‘’Aden, you should eat some vegetables too ‘’ she locked her eyes with Lexa ‘’Isn’t that right Lexa ? ‘’ she smiled.

 

‘’Yeah kid , listen to your teacher ‘’ Lexa said awkwardly her back is stiff , trying and falling to hide her annoyance by the touch.

 

‘’Lexie doesn’t eat vegetables too ‘’ Aden pouted a little.

 

‘’Yes I do ‘’

‘’No you don’t , you always put them on my plate or Lincolns ‘’

 

Niylah raised an eyebrow at the detective , they found a table and they were sitting now , but the two siblings were more interested in their argument

 

‘’What !!!! Yes I do . I can’t believe you would rat me out like that, I thought we were dudes Aden ‘’ Lexa all but yelled causing all the people in the restaurant to look at them.

 

Niylah was shaking so hard trying to hide her laughter , while both Woods' kept glaring at each other . The glaring continued until a voice brought their attention back .

 

Abby and Clarke turned their heads when they heard yelling noises , coming some where in the restaurant . That's  when they saw Lexa with another woman and a young boy.

''I thought you said Lexa was single and living like a nun ?'' Clarke glared at her mother.

 

''Maybe she is and the blonde girl didn't get the memo . I'm gonna go say hi '' Abby stood from her chair.

 

''What ?! Mom , don't'' Clarke hissed as the older woman . She tried to stop her mom but she was too late .

 

 

‘’Lexa ? ‘’

 

Lexa turned her head in lighting speed and stood up once she saw the figure in front of her ‘’Doctor Kane , how are you? ‘’ she shook hands with the older woman

‘’I'm fine . You ?’’ Abby said

 

Aden shouted and ran to the older Doctor ‘’Abbyyyyyy , I missed you sooo much ‘’

 

‘’Well hello to you too Aden , I missed you too sweetheart ‘’ Abby hugged him back.

 

‘’I missed all the chocolate pudding you would give me while I was visiting Lexa ‘’ the little boy sighed.

 

Abby smiled so wide at him ‘’ You know, you can come over whenever you want and I’ll get you all the pudding you want ‘’

 

Aden smiled at that , Lexa cut in ‘’Do you want to join us Doctor ?, I know Aden will not leave you ‘’ she smiled at her

 

‘’Actually, I'm here with my daughter ‘’

 

‘’ The more the merrier ‘’ Aden said clapping his hands

 

‘’Okay ‘’ Abby turned around gesturing with her hands ‘’Clarke, honey , come over here ‘’

 

As soon as the figure with blonde hair turned around Lexa’s jaw hit the ground ,

 

Clarke came over to see who her mom was talking to , and saw a little boy with sandy hair smiling brightly at her ‘’ Hey, I'm Clarke ‘’ she said

 

Aden ran to Clarke and hugged her with so much force , she felt the air leaving her lungs ‘’I'm Aden , your mommy fixed my sister ‘’ he said

 

When Clarke lifted her gaze up from Aden , she was met by the same green eyes that were haunting her mind , she smiled politely ‘’Hello Detective ‘’

 

It took a minute and Clarke's voice to break Lexa out of her trance ‘’Hello Doctor , twice in one day , that must be a record ‘’ Lexa shook Clarke hand

 

‘’Uhmm’’ the clearing of a throat brought made them all look up

 

‘’Oh right , this is Niylah , Aden’s teacher . Niylah this is Doctor Abby Kane and Doctor Clarke Griffin. Please, Doctors, sit ‘’

 

All of them sat at the table , Aden practically sitting in Abby’s lap.

 

‘’I'm sorry Abby. But did you just say Dr. Griffin is your daughter ?’’ Lexa gulped nervously

 

‘’ Yes , she is ‘’ Abby answered

 

‘’Nice to meet you Dcotors ‘’ Niylah shared polite hello with them , as did the other two women

 

‘’How do you know Dr.Griffin Lexie ‘’ Aden asked

 

Lexa’s face was pale like a sheet , how was is she going to explain how she knows Clarke , before she could think of anything Clarke chimed in ‘’We are old friends Aden ‘’

 

Clarke could feel relieve wash all over Lexa , it lasted only a minute because the other woman sitting with them opened the restaurant menu and moved closer to her ‘’So Lexa , what are you having ‘’

 

Lexa moved away a little ‘’I don’t need to see the menu , I already know what I'm having , thank you ‘’

 

The waiter came to their table , Aden was too busy talking with Abby . Niylah was watching Lexa. While Lexa and Clarke seemed to be looking anywhere but at each other. That is until the waiter asked what they were having and both Lexa and Clarke answered ‘’cheese steak house burger ‘’ in unison .

 

They both looked at each other, sharing a small smile. They enjoyed their meals talking about their jobs. Niylah talked about how much she love being around kids and teaching them , explaining or answering some of the questions they have is the most amazing thing she could accomplish , she said.  
Abby talked about being a Doctor and helping others, while Clarke talked about her patients , how she feels the need to protect them , listen to them and how privileged she feels when they share with her and trust her , she said that directly looking at Lexa .

 

Aden was listening to all the women talk about their jobs and what they do so he interrupted them ‘’I want to be a cop just like my Lexie ‘’ Aden said with a smile

 

Lexa smiled at him but it didn’t quite reach her eyes ‘’You can be a Doctor Ade , it’s a lot better than being a cop’’

 

Aden frowned a little at this ‘’But I want to be like you ‘’

 

‘’I'm not that great kid ‘’ Lexa said making every one at the table go silent

 

Clarke kept her gaze on her , she wanted to tell Lexa what she does is amazing and she shouldn’t say that about herself but Niylah cut in ‘’Please Detective , I think you are pretty amazing , risking your life for strangers is the most honorable thing I can think about ‘’

 

‘’It is , I just don’t want Aden to risk anything . I want him to be as safe as he possibly can be ‘’ Lexa said her voice taking on a serious note

 

‘’Ohhh , how cute , you are a mama bear ‘’ Niylah said smiling

 

The other two women on the stable stayed silent , watching Lexa’s reaction and the sad look on Aden’s face , he looked like he was about to cry . Lexa noticed this .

 

‘’Hey buddy ‘’ she went near him and kneeled in front of him , cupping his cheeks ‘’You know I'm only saying this 'cause I care about you , I don’t want to see you get hurt , do you understand that ?’’

 

Aden's head raised slowly until his eyes met Lexa’s ‘’Like when you got hurt , and had to go to the hospital ?’’. Lexa nodded her head ‘’I was so worried about you Lexie . I kept talking to you but you never answered , I even held your hand , but you didn’t wake up’’ he said sniffling ‘’I love you so much ‘’ he hugged her.

 

‘’I'm sorry buddy , I love you too . How about we go to the toy store for a bit , you can pick any toy you want ‘’ Lexa said, wiping the tear that slipped from his eyes .

 

‘’Yayyyy . Can Clarke come too ?’’ he looked at his sister with the most pleading eyes ever .

 

Lexa turned her head to the other three women on the table smiling apologetically ‘’ Maybe after lunch ?’’

 

‘’Lexa honey , you can go, we will wait for you here ‘’ Abby said smiling at the younger Woods . Niylah nodded her agreement . While Clarke stood up ‘’Lets go little man ‘’ holding her hand for Aden to hold .

 

Aden jumped to his feet , holding both of Lexa’s and Clarke’s hands , basically dragging both women for the nearest toy shop .

 

‘’Thank you , for this Clarke ‘’ Lexa over pronunciate the ‘’K’’ in Clarke’s name

 

Clarke was surprised by the effect Lexa had on her just saying her name , she felt a shiver go through her spine ‘’No need to thank me , Lexa ‘’

 

Lexa locked eyes with the Doctor and smiled .

 

‘’Our next session is in two days , This time I will not go easy on you ‘’ Clarke said with a teasing tone

 

‘’is that a threat Doctor ?’’ Lexa added in the same teasing tone

 

‘’Maybe , I’ll expect you to share a lot more this time ‘’

 

‘’Will do ‘’ suddenly something downed on Lexa ‘’ Wait, if Abby is your mother , does that mean chief Kane is your stepdad ?’’ Lexa said her eyes going wide .

 

Clarke chuckled a little at the look Lexa was showing on her face ‘’Yes , but don’t worry , like I said before, everything you choose to disclose in our session stays between us , you can trust me ‘’

 

‘’I do trust you Clarke ‘’ Lexa winked at her

 

‘’Thank you ‘’

Lexa raised an eyebrow at the young Doctor ‘’You are thanking me for trusting you , wow Doc you are way too nice , I don’t think I've met anyone who is this nice before ‘’ Lexa pretended like she was thinking , she tilted her head alittle and put her fingers on chin

 

Clarke felt her cheeks burn red and shoved Lexa playfully ‘’Shut up’’

 

Now that they were in the toy shop Aden had left them a while ago , so she moved her hand and put it on her shoulder ‘’ouch! Doc , are you always this violent with your patients , I may have to arrest you for assaulting an officer ‘’ Lexa kept a straight face while talking.

 

‘’Oh my god , you are such a dork’’ Clarke giggled

 

‘’The dorkiest ‘’ Lexa smiled .

 

Lexa didn’t know what was going on with her , she never felt this comfortable , this at ease with someone she had only meet once , it was a whole new territory for her , it was something she couldn’t understand , she is not the one to trust strangers , but there was something different about the young Doctor , it was like her soul was telling her she could trust her . and that was scary for her last time she felt like that it was with HER. No she shook her head

 

‘’Hey are you ok ?’’ Clarke voice broke her thoughts , her voice has a little bit of concern in it

 

 _Damn it , did I just zone out in front of my new Doctor , did she noticed?_ Lexa thought but she answered ‘’Yeah . I'm good‘’ she tried to smile reassuringly but it came out more as a grimace , luckily for her Aden came back with two sets in his hands one is a cop set and the second is a doctor said ‘’Lexie , can I have these two ?’’ he asked

‘’Sue thing buddy ‘’

 

After that the three went back to the restaurant to join to other women , after that, all of them seemed to be talking about little stuff like food and such , Lexa was not even paying attention, her mind still clouded by the thought of why she is trusting the blonde Doctor , she doesn’t even know the first thing about her , well that’s a lie she knows she is good with kids and likes a cheese steak burger .

 

The lunch finished and all the women said their goodbyes , Abby and Clarke hugging Aden , Clarke whispering she will meet Lexa again in two days . And the Detective better be in time. They said polite goodbyes to Niylah too and they left .

 

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

After Lexa dropped Aden at home , she was giving Niylah a ride to hers , they were driving in complete silence until Niylah broke it .

‘’Damn it ‘’ Niylah said

Lexa looked at her worriedly ‘’Everything ok ?’’

‘’Yeah , just change of plans , you can drop me whereever you want ’’

‘’Niylah ‘’ Lexa said warningly

Niylah huffed before answering ‘’My roommate has someone over , I can’t go home ‘’

‘’Ok , you can stay at mine ‘’ Lexa knew Anya and Lincoln would be there , so she didn’t worry about Niylah making a pass at her

‘’I don’t want to impose ‘’ Niylah could barely hide the excitement she was feeling

‘’You are not , I'm offering‘’

‘’Ok’’

They drove back to Lexa’s apartment , once they got there Niylah stepped in admiring the apartment.

‘’ Nice apartment’’

‘’Thank you ‘’

Lexa was looking for her cousins but she couldn’t find them. Damn it, she cursed under her breath , why can’t anything be easy for once she thought shaking her head , why did she have to be damn nice and offer Niylah to stay at her house , most importantly damn Anya and Lincoln for not telling her they left the house .

‘’Can I offer you something to drink ?’’ Lexa said somewhat nervously

‘’Sure , a beer would be fine ‘’

‘’ A beer coming right up’’

Niylah sat at the huge leather couch facing the tv , when Lexa came she sat on the arm chair , as far away from Niylah as she can be and handed Niylah her beer .

‘’Thank you ‘’

‘’Welcome ‘’

Niylah started talking until ger phone rang. In a hurried attempt to get her phone , she managed to spill beer all over the shirt she was wearing ‘’FUDGEE!!’’

Lexa bite her lip so hard trying to stop herself from laughing ‘’Fudge ?’’

‘’Yeah , I'm around kids all the time I can’t exactly curse ‘’ Niylah said embarrassedly

‘’It’s okay , you can take some clothes from my closet , first door in the hall ‘’

‘’Thank you , Detective ‘’

Lexa rolled her eyes at the use of her title

Niylah stood up and went to Lexa’s room , she opened the closet and found a light green shirt on the top shelf. After she cleaned herself in the bathroom , she got out side to the living room again.

 

‘’Hey Niylah I got you another beer’’ Lexa turned around and was frozen for a moment , Niylah was wearing a light green shirt , not any shirt, but Costia’s shirt , it was as if time stopped , and suddenly instead of blonde hair she saw brown locks , instead of light green eyes she saw honey hazelnut eyes , the eyes that haunt her every minute of every day , she didn’t know what came over her , her legs were moving on their own accord , she felt like she had no control over her body .

 

Her body was flushed against the other woman's body , her lips were attacking Costia’s lips with a fever and passion she didn’t know she possessed , her hands came up to hug the woman in front of her tightly , stopping her from moving away , she was holding her like her life dependent on it , like she was freezing in the chilly weather of December and the only thing keeping her blood from freezing is the warm body against her . She tilted her head deepening the kiss , while her tongue sneaked through parted lips , she didn’t stop even when her lungs screamed at her to do so , to talk some air before she can keep her assault , but her heart didn’t listen , too afraid to let go , afraid she will wake up and find she was dreaming . Until she felt a hand pushing at her chest gently , she stopped her attack and moved back .

 

‘’woah , there Detective slow down , I need some air ‘’

 

She heared Niylah’s voice and opened her eyes , suddenly it was like all her dreams shattered and crumpled , not only she wasn’t dreaming , she was also kissing someone who was not Costia , she felt like a bucket of ice cold water was dropped over her head. She jumped back, startled , seeing Niylah in front of her was like a nightmare she couldn’t escape , the only thing she was able to think about was lifting her hand and hitting herself in the face ‘’WAKE UP , WAKE UP , WAKE UP ‘’ She kept repeating those words each time hitting herself harder , it was the only thing she could think to wake herself up from her nightmare .

 

Niylah’s eyes widen at the young Detective , one minute they were kissing , the other the Detective was having a mild panic attack , she could see Lexa hitting herself repeatedly , ordering herself to wake up , she took a step closer to her and held her hands up, trying to stop Lexa from hurting herself ‘’Lexa ‘’ she looked at her horrified when Lexa only screamed more , she hugged her tightly, not knowing what else to do ‘’LEXA!!!’’ She yelled at the top of her lungs , that seemed to stop the Detective , she moved her to the couch and sat her there ‘’Lexa are you ok? Do I need to call someone ‘’

 

Lexa just shook her head ‘’ Leave ‘’ she said in a whisper

 

Niylah stared at her for a moment ‘’ Excuse me ?’’

 

Lexa’s voice cracked a little ‘’ Leave , I'm sorry , but I need you to leave ‘’

 

‘’Are you sure you are going to be ok ?’’ she asked worriedly

 

‘’Yes , please , I just need to stay alone ‘’

 

‘’Ok ‘’ with that Niylah stood up , walked to the elevator and left.

 

Lexa stayed on the couch , she pulled her legs up to her chest and hugged them , she was still shaking , she reached for the necklace around her neck and held it in her hand tightly ‘’I'm sorry baby , I'm so sorry , god I'm so so sorry , I thought she was you ‘’ her tears were running around her face freely ‘’Please forgive me ‘’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what am doin so any feedback would be appreciated


	8. Hold On To Me Because Am a Little unsteady

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW : Alcohol Abuse

Lexa was still sitting on the couch crying her eyes out , Niylah left a while ago but , she couldn’t move , she still felt like all the energy from her body had been drained , her cheeks were red and her eyes were puffy .

Lexa rubbed at her eyes furiously trying to stop the tears from pouring out of her eyes, it was like her tear ducts had a malfunction or something . No matter how much she tried her eyes just refuse to cooperate . 

She manages to gather all the energy she has to stand up and go to look for the whiskey bottle she keeps hidden in one of the kitchen cabinets .

Lexa found the bottle immediately and went back to the couch . She lift up the bottle to the sky before taking a gulp ‘’Cheers Cos ‘’

‘’Cheers to my pathetic existence ‘’ Another gulp

‘’Cheers to a life of misery ‘’ another gulp

‘’Cheers for the police academy ‘’ another gulp

‘’Cheers to undercover ‘’ gulp

‘’Cheers to fucking businessman who double as drug lords ‘’ gulp

‘’Cheers for corrupt cops who gave me away to your brother ‘’ gulp

‘’ Cheers for psychotic brothers ‘’ gulp 

‘’Cheers for ……’’ she sniffled ‘’ for death ‘’ Another gulp

‘’Bottoms up for Love ‘’ she drank the whole bottle, hoping the burning sensation will help her with herself loathing .

Now days every time she got drunk she would be back to that day , the memory of Costia dying in her arms , the sirens , the paramedics yelling at her to let go , people coming in to try and check her wounds , she was bleeding profusely from her gun shut wounds , but refused to move or let go , until Anya showed up , she pegged her cousin to let her stay with Costia , to leave her be , but Anya only did what she thought was right , she took the sedative one of the paramedics gave her and gave it to Lexa , without her consent , trurth be told if the roles were reversed Lexa would have done the same so she couldn’t really blame Anya for what she did , some part of her was devastated when she woke up from surgery and found out Costia had already been buried , she cried to herself all night and tried to leave the hospital , only with her injuries she couldn’t leave , she couldn’t even walk , but that didn’t stop her she moved out of bed and tried to walk out only to fall the minute she put her weight on her legs causing the nurses and doctors to rush in to her room to help her back to bed , it only got worse after that , she would try to escape the hospital every chance she got leaving the doctors with hard choice to strapping her to the bed , she stopped eating and talking making everyone worry about her more till Aden walked in one day with Anya behind him.

She still remembers how he climbed the bed and sat next to her , stroking her hair , the nine year old whispered in her ear ‘’You need to get better, stop fighting the Doctors , mom told me you are broken but if you stayed Doctors can help you, please for me I already lost my birth parents don’t let me lose anyone else , you’re my big sister, my Lexie , you promised to talk me to football matches and be my coach , am holding you to that promise ‘’ He moves his tiny little hands to cup her cheeks making Lexa look right at him ‘’Now get up and be my big sister ‘’ she said with teary eyes and a sad smile .

Her heart broke at the look he had in her eyes so she moved her hand even though it hurt like a bitch and wrapped him around Aden ‘’I love you Ade’’ her voice came strange even to her own ears .

‘’I love you too Lexie ‘’

She knew then , she has to do better , at least she can try for the people who love her and Aden , she even had a conversation with Anya in the hospital telling her it wasn’t her fault . 

Lexa deep down knew it wasn’t Anya’s fault , it was hers for not protecting Costia and Costia for dying on her , she knew it was petty blaming someone for dying but when she was drunk logic was never her strong suit but now more so because all of the guilt she felt for kissing Niylah.

 

‘’Why couldn’t you hold on for a little longer , The paramedics were on their way , I thought you said you loved me and wanted to spent the rest of your live with me ‘’ she stood up from the couch and started pacing , although her movement were slowed down by the alcohol running through her system .

Her hand went up to her necklace taking the tiny picture of Costia from it , ‘’Am sorry , I thought she was you , I didn’t see her eyes or her lips , I saw your eyes , your lips , I thought I was touching you baby ‘’ she laughed humorlessly , he eyes filling with tears again ‘’But you don’t care about that , do you ?’’

She started to scream ‘’DO YOU ? YOU FUCKING LEFT ME ALONE , you , you ‘’ her voice turned into a whisper ‘’you died and left me all by myself ‘’ , she stumbled and fell to the floor , hitting her head pretty hard against the tiles ‘’God am tired , am so tired my soul is tired . Cos I don’t have any fight left in me ‘’ she started sobbing ‘’Why didn’t you take me with you , huh ?’’ ‘’ you did promise forever or did you forget that ?’’ 

She shook her head ‘’God baby , I saw your t-shirt and that was it , it was like you were there , right in front of me teasing me with that stupid shirt , don’t you remember ? I bought you that shirt when we sneaked out of your house and you got cold, I told you I liked it because it’s show your perfect cleavage and you said no , you like it cause it’s the same color as my eyes ,a small part of me was so happy when I paid for it , like I could do this , I could take care of you, like we don’t need neither out families money to be happy as long as we have each other ‘’

Lexa ran a hand angrily through her face moving away the brown curls that fell around her eyes ‘’Fuck you for leaving me and fuck me for even believeg we could have the happy ever after ‘’

Lexa could hear the elevator beeping indicating someone was coming , but she couldn’t care less .

Anya and Raven were having the time of their lives , the two of them were slightly tipsy when they left the bar they hang all night in , they took a cab to Anya’s apartment , as soon as the doors opened , they were greeted by silence and darkness .

Raven smirked a her girlfriend ‘’there is no one here , is this one of your planes to get me alone ? if that’s so , shame on you Detective ‘’ she said wiggling her finger in front of Anya’s face 

Anya rolled her eyes at her girlfriend antics ‘’you weren’t complaining in the cab need I remind you ‘’

‘’No , need I remind YOU , what you said in the cab’’ Raven smirked 

‘’hummm ‘’ Anya hummed ‘’Maybe I do ‘’

‘’I remember someone promising to rock my world all night’ ‘’ Raven said with air quotes 

‘’ I did say that , Didn’t I ’’ Anya said more of a statement than a question 

‘’so are you going to deliver or are you all talk ?’’

‘’Oh you are so going to regret this ‘’ Anya moved fast towards Raven picking her up and attaching their lips , Raven squealed in surprise but was cut off by a moan as soon as her ass hit the kitchen counter .

A giggle from the floor made both woman stop in their track and moving their heads towards where the giggle came from , Anya moved fast to switch the light on .

When she did she saw Lexa on the floor with a blood shut eyes .’’ jesus kid you scared the shit out of me ‘’ when Lexa didn’t make a move . Anya went closer to her, immediately she was hit by the smell of alcohol, she knelt in front of her cousin ‘’Hey Lex , are you okay ?’’ seeing Lexa setting on the floor in the dark with the state she is in made the alarm bells in her head go chirping ‘’ sweetie did you fell ? are you hurt ?’’

Raven joined her girlfriend and her cousin on the floor , her eyebrows shooting up to her hair line with concern , she looked at Anya , but her girlfriend kept her eyes on her cousin , she grabbed Anya’s shoulder to get her attention ‘’Maybe we should move her to the couch ‘’

Anya’s only acknowledgment was a small head nod , both woman grabbed lexa’s shoulder hoisting her up .

‘’ I can walk myself to the damn couch, thank you ‘’ Lexa swatted both their hands and moved on a shaking legs to the couch .when she got there she dropped herself gracelessly ‘’ So were the two of you fucking ? because if that’s so , am never eating in this kitchen again ‘’

‘’Oh my god ‘’ Raven looked away embarrassed , cheeks burning red , moving to set next to Lexa and Anya on the couch , she sat on the right while Anya sat on the left , Lexa in the middle 

Anya on the other hand had the smuggest expression ever ‘’Don’t say never little one , this wasn’t the first time ‘’

Lexa nodded her acknowledgment but instead of laughing at Anya’s clear attempt of a joke she only frowned harder , emotionless façade back on ‘’I see ,So Anya Love is weakness ,finally found her special someone , tell me how long do you think it will last ‘’ she turned her stare from Anya to Raven . Both woman were shocked at this , they thought Lexa was missing around .

‘’Okay , someone had too much to drink ‘’ Anya laughed nervously not knowing where Lexa was headed with this . Raven looked at Anya’s worried expression ‘’ yeah it happens to the best of us, Anya is my special someone too ‘’ she smiled reassuringly at her girlfriend , glancing back at Lexa not knowing if this the best friend talk or not , but she would do her best to convince Lexa of how much she loves Anya . Clearly she was wrong about that assumption 

Lexa was getting more angry now, when her question went unanswered by Anya‘’ Am not kidding , I’d watch out if I were you Raven , Anya has this little habit of hitting and quitting , you might wake up one day to an empty cold bed without so much of an explanation from her about why she is leaving you ‘’ she said more sternly 

‘’Lexa ‘’ Anya said in a warning tone 

‘’Anya will not do any of this Lexa , she asked me to marry her, we were keeping it a secret until we tell our families , so you don’t need to worry about me .Beside I trust her , we are completely honest with each other , and we don’t hide any shit‘’ Raven said with a little bite in her voice 

Lexa burst out laughing ‘’ A feisty one , nice ‘’ she turned her face to face her cousin ‘’Remember all the times when I had a crush on someone Anya ? what was it you always used to say ‘’ she felt silent for a minute as if she was thinking about the words ‘’Oh yes , Love is weakness . Don’t give your heart to anyone Lexa cause they will crush it . Love is for fairytales we tell children or sappy romantic movies to get ratings up‘’

Anya looked over at Raven somehow feeling guilty, she dropped her head to the ground feeling a shame ‘ I , I was …‘’ she trailed off

Raven cut her off ‘’ You were a kid , It’s ok , If you would still have thought this , you clearly wouldn’t have asked me to marry you ‘’ she reached for Anya’s hand and squeezed it hoping this conversation will be over soon 

Lexa spoke again completely ignoring what the other two woman said ‘’ But hey of course it’s different , because it’s Anya ,your love and feeling are way more important than everybody else , when did you make the rules , when did you become such a hypocrite , how is this different from any time I had a crush on someone and you told me it was childish ‘’

‘’Lex , am sorry , I was stupid to every say those words to you , Love is not weakness it’s strength . where is this coming from ? are you mad that I didn’t tell you about the engagement earlier ?’’

‘’Pffff Please ,not everything is about you ’’ Lexa huffed in annoyance 

‘’Hey you’re my sister , you know you can tell me whatever it is that’s bothering you ‘’ Anya tried to wrap her hand around Lexa , but Lexa flinched away ‘’we are not sisters ‘’ 

‘’Maybe it’s time for bed Lexa , don’t you think ?’’ Raven tried to defuse the tension that filled the room , she could see Anya was getting upset and hurt , but she was trying her best not to snap at her cousin , her drunk off her ass cousin 

Lexa turned facing Raven again ‘’Hey An , maybe it’s not you , maybe it’s Raven , what is so special about you? , that would melt Anya’s heart , making her fall in love with you ‘’. She sneaked a hand around Raven’s waist , smirking ‘’I can find out for myself , take you for a spin sweetie , oops how would that make Anya feel ‘’ Lexa moved closer to Raven .

Raven’s eyes went wide with horror and surprised , The way Anya talk about her cousin , she would have never thought she was able to do this in a million years . Anya always talked about how much caring , loving and kind Lexa is , but This Lexa , she is not so sure about , she can also see how drunk Lexa is , she almost felt sorry for her , Lexa looked like a kicked puppy 

‘’What the fuck did you just say?!! ‘’ Anya yelled , she knew Lexa was drunk and probably something bad has happened to make her this much angry 

Suddenly there were hands tugging Lexa up , making her stand on shaky legs , she almost stumbled and fell if it weren’t for the hands on her collar shirt keeping her up , she tried swatting the hands but failed miserably .

‘’Move ‘’ Anya snarled at her , moving her away from the living room .Raven stood abruptly trying to stop her girlfriend from doing anything she will regret , she knew Lexa was drunk , the smell of alcohol filling the whole apartment and practically pouring from Lexa in waves . Raven was so worried she had never seen Anya this angry before . she looked into her girlfriend’s eyes and saw something in Anya’s gaze , something resemble concern mixed with anger and disappointment and hurt 

‘’Anya , she’s drunk and clearly had been crying , look at her puffy eyes ‘’ Raven said not knowing what her girlfriend was planning on doing 

Anya still had a death grip on Lexa’s collar ‘’Come on ‘’ she tugged Lexa to her bedroom, Raven following behind her, still not sure what to do .

Anya kicked the bathroom door with her foot pushing Lexa in towards the shower , She pushed Lexa against the titles and opened the shower using cold water only .Lexa pushed against Anya’s hands jerking her body, trying to escape the freezing cold water ‘’An… Anya ! Stop ‘’ her teeth chattering from the cold ‘’Fuck off ANYA !!’’ she tried to push Anya again to no avail .

‘’This isn’t you , you are better than this .If you need your ass to get kicked to remind you of that , I will do it , I will kick your ass until I can talk some sense to your stubborn ass , but Lexa you can’t lash out like this on Raven, what the hell were you thinking ? , it’s not acceptable, Raven is off limit ‘’ Anya added not sure how far long Lexa is or if she is even listening to her , she just knew she had to stop Lexa from being a complete douche bag . 

Lexa sagged in Anya’s hold falling to her knees , Anya was quick to turn off the water kneeling in front of Lexa to be on the same eye level ‘’Are you going to tell me what’s wrong now ? ‘’ she said stroking Lexa’s hair to sooth her , she was still upset and hurt from what Lexa did , but she cared too much for her cousin and her well being , she only saw Lexa like this one time before . That was when she found her with dead Costia in her hold , so she knew whatever happened with Lexa it must be big for the brunette to have this sad broken look on her eyes , and her behavior was nothing like the sweet caring Lexa she knew .

A tiny sob escaped Lexa’s lip ‘’I killed her and you took her away from me that’s what’s wrong ‘’

Anya was confused so was Raven who was standing in the door way ‘’What are you talking about Lex ?’’

‘’She .. Costia died because of me and you didn’t even let me say goodbye , you drugged me because it was too horrible for you to see me breaking , but guess what , I am Anya , you broke me , ….. you ….. I ………I … wanted ….. to …. Hold …. Her ….say …goodbye……But …. You …didn’t ……. Let me .. you took that from me and now …..now she’s …..she’s gone … and there is …. Nothing …..nothing I can do ‘’ she sobbed harder , breath labored eyes filling with tears 

Anya looked at her cousin with teary eyes remembering her action from that day , she hated giving Lexa the sedative but it was necessary , Lexa was holding Costia refusing to let go and losing too much blood , she knew than she had to do something even if it end up with her cousin resenting her for it , when the paramedics told her the more they wait the more they risk Lexa’s life and possibly increasing the chance for infections or even nerve damage to both Lexa’s knee and shoulder , she made her decision than, that she would rather have a very pissed off cousin than a dead one ‘’Am sorry , it was never my intention to hurt you , but I had to do it , you were bleeding pretty bad Lex and I knew I needed to do something to help but you were not letting her go , I hated myself for what I did , I told you this back at the hospital , if it was you or anyone else or even me I’d choose you to live every time ‘’

‘’Why Anya ?, why is life so cruel , I loved her , I promised forever and now she’s gone , she’s never going to get old or have children or let me show her how much i love her, while am here being a drunk asshole kissing teachers ‘’ It was Lexa’s hand now who hold to Anya tightly 

Anya was more than confused at this point but never the less she scoots down next to Lexa and hugged her ‘’Life goes on honey , you should stop blaming yourself for things that are out of your control’’

‘’Am so tired Anya , I see her every where I look , everything reminds me of her , and it’s eating me up . Niylah put one of Costia’s shirt on and for a second I thought it was her , that this is real , that all the bad things that happened was just a nightmare , and I get to wake up with her sleeping by my side , but that didn’t happen, it was quite the opposite I opened my eyes to found myself kissing Niylah , I felt like I betrayed her , betrayed our love ,it was all my fault again , it’s just I feel like am swimming against the tide and every time I think am getting close to the shore another huge wave comes and pushes me even further away . Am so tired of fighting any more ‘’ Lexa curled up in Anya’s embrace, hands holding on to Anya’s shirt 

‘’Hey there little warrior, it’s okay you can do this , you have me ,Lincoln , Indra ,your mom and dad , Aden , Gustus ,your friends , we are all here for you ,besides when the waves get too much I can probably steel a yacht and rescue you from drowning , we can make it a holiday , how about that ‘’ Anya tried lighten up the mood trying to get the darks thoughts away from Lexa’s head 

‘’Can I come too?’’ Raven chimed in , she knew her girlfriend was trying to lighten her cousin mood and assure her in her own Anya way that she will always be there for Lexa come hell come high water , no pun intended .

‘’Of course babe ,we can go to some secret beach , pretend we’re Tarzan and Jane adopt some monkeys ‘’ Anya said jokingly trying her best to cheer up Lexa 

Lexa’s lips tugged upward a bit about this ‘’Awful Anya , just awful sense of humor ‘’ she was still sad and angry about what she did but Anya’s word always brought her some relief knowing she’s not alone , her head was still buzzing from all the alcohol she consumed ,in attempt to stop the buzzing she closed her eyes .

‘’Lex , come on sweetie let’s get you to bed ‘’ Anya warped her arms around Lexa’s shoulder while Raven came in with a towel to dry off the younger brunette .Lexa’s only acknowledgment was a head nod .

She put a hand on Raven’s wrist stopping her , Raven looked up to see what’s wrong only to see tears back on Lexa’s eyes ‘’Am sorry Raven , I never meant to upset you , i understand if you want to punch me ‘’she put her chin up to make it easier for Raven if she wanted to punch her .

‘’Don’t be ridiculous Lexa , beside you’re going to be my sister in law , so no punching what so ever ‘’ Raven smiled a little at Lexa , she knew that this version of Lexa is the one Anya talks about 

‘’But I ‘’ Lexa sniffled. Anya moved her hands to wipe away the tear that rolled on Lexa’s cheek ‘’No more crying Lex ‘’

Both woman help Lexa to her bed not before changing her cloth to a more comfortable pajamas , when Lexa settled in her bed she squeezed Anya’s hand without opening her eyes ‘’Please don’t leave me ‘’ her voice was a small whisper , she knew she sounded pathetic but in her drunken state she didn’t reallt care . Anya heard her ‘’I will never honey ‘’ she looked at Raven apologetically. Raven shook her head and sat down on the floor next to where Anya sat on the bed next to Lexa .

‘’You will hurt your back ‘’

‘’I don’t mind ‘’  
It didn’t take long for the three woman to fall asleep .

 

******************

Lexa woke up the next morning with a horrible headache and the feeling of something behind her back , a soft snores coming from behind her , firm hands wrapped around her waist , she moved her head slowly and breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of her cousin ‘’Anya ‘’ she poked her side ,’’Anya let go of me I need to pee’’ Anya’s hold only tightened ‘’Anya!!!!! Wake up you asshole ‘’ she shouted 

Anya stirred beside her and with a grumble she woke up ‘’Am up damn it , couldn’t you hold it for just a little longer I was having a great dream ‘’

‘’No , you were squishing my bladder , now off or am going to pee on you ‘’ with that Anya swiftly moved away 

When Lexa came back from the bathroom she took in the sight before her Anya was in her bed hands dangling off the bed , holding what seems to be another set of hands , she moved closer to get a better look and was surprised to find Raven sleeping at the floor .’’Anya why is your girlfriend sleeping on the floor ?’’ she asked Anya with confused look

Anya answered but her voice came out muffled preventing Lexa from understanding .’’what ?’’ she repeated 

‘’For the love of everything that is holy , you were drunk we stayed over now let us sleep damn it ‘’ Raven answered from the floor .

‘’Okay ‘’ with that Lexa left her bedroom , she couldn’t remember exactly what happen last night only she made a terrible mistake kissing Niylah after that things were little fuzzy but she had a feeling she did something bad and also being cold , she entered the kitchen and started with brewing new patch of coffee and preparing breakfast , she felt bad for keeping Anya with her , even worst for Raven , the poor woman was sleeping on the floor surely to wake up with a stiff neck . 

She moved quickly getting pans out to make omelet and fresh pancakes she knew what her cousin is like in the morning , once she finished mixing the pancakes and staking them in plates she moved to the omelet , after 20 minutes or so the kitchen was filled with delicious coffee and breakfast smell 

‘’Anya , Raven breakfast is ready ‘’ she knocked on the door softly , it took five seconds and the door opened showing Anya’s excited face dragging not so happy Raven by the hand ‘’humm it smells good ‘’ Anya hummed approvingly. 

The two older woman moved to set in the kitchen table while Lexa served them their plates and coffee mugs 

‘’Thank you Lexa, you didn’t have to do all this ‘’ Raven said sipping her coffee 

‘’you are more than welcome , thank you guys for staying last night , but what exactly happened ?’’ 

‘’Your ass had little too much to drink and almost kissed Raven ’’ Anya replied with her mouth full of food 

‘’Anya !!!’’ Raven yelled at her girlfriend and pointed her head at Lexa , who looked like she was about to faint .

‘’ I did what ‘’ Lexa felt she might throw up apparently not only she had kissed Niylah but also made a move on Anya’s girlfriend 

‘’Yeah , you hit on Raven ,OUCH ‘’ Anya started rubbing her foot where Raven kicked her under the table ‘’why did you do that for ‘’ she glared at her girlfriend 

‘’There is no need to blame Lexa for something she did when she was drunk , isn’t that right babe beside Lex you already apologized last night ‘’ 

Anya only now noticing the look on Lexa’s face , a look of full remorse ‘’Am so sorry Raven , please forgive my attitude ,I ..’’

Raven interrupted her ‘’Hey it’s okay , nothing happened ,like I said no need to apologize AGAIN we all do stupid things when we are drunk’’ she emphasized the word again

‘’ Yes , but I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable , am truly sorry ‘’ Lexa added avoiding the other two woman gazes 

‘’Lex , she said it was fine , now stop apologizing ‘’  
‘’ So what else happen ?‘’ 

‘’We also told you we got engaged ‘’Anya said nonchalant 

‘’YOU .. OMG congratulations guys , am so happy for you ‘’ she got up with a huge grin on her face , hugging both Anya and Raven happily ‘’Finally a wedding in the family , am so exited for you guys ‘’ she moved back to sit .

‘’So are we ‘’ Raven smiled too ‘’But you can’t tell your parents yet or Anya’s parents ‘’. Anya nodded with her girlfriend ‘’True Lex , you need to let me tell Indra and Gustus first or they will kill me ‘’

Lexa smirked a little ‘’What do I get if I kept silence ‘’

‘’You will be the made of honor of course ‘’Anya said 

‘’Let me get this straight , you’re buying my silence with a promise of being Anya’s bitch from now till the wedding and having to deal with her outburst , think again cousin ‘’ Lexa looked un impressed 

Raven have a devious smile on ‘’Oh I can offer something else , your silence for me not spreading the picture of you being the little spoon , Damn who would have thought big bad ass Lexa Woods is the little spoon ‘’

Lexa’s jaw hit the floor , while Anya high fived her girlfriend and picked her lips 

‘’Did I mention that I love you ‘’Anya said looking at Raven proudly 

‘’ your girlfriend is rubbing off on you Raven , and it’s a deal ‘’ she said the last part as a whisper

‘’Also it’s a the front spoon not the little spoon’’ Lexa said with a serious note causing the three of them to burst out laughing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is the next session 
> 
>  
> 
> Also all mistakes are mine


	9. Night Sky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clexa opens up a bit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for all the kudos and the feedback

Clarke was at her office waiting for her next patient only her mind was stuck at the conversation she had with her step dad , Marcus as she prefers to call him, safe to say he was pissed when he learnt she gave the all clear to Lexa but he trust ClARKE too much to belittle her disagree with her decision 

 

Flash back to one day ago 

 

Clarke was sitting in her apartment when suddenly the door opened showing her two roommates Raven and Octavia with what look like pizza boxes in their hand and a pack of beer.

 

‘’Am telling you Lincoln is the sweatiest thing ever ‘’ 

 

‘’O , Please the guy is like 6 feet of muscles , who can probably lift you in one finger ‘’

 

‘’I know that , but he is so sweat , handsome and polite , he respect me more than any of the other guys I dated , he is like a huge teddy bear ‘’

 

‘’I’ll take your word for it O , I also thing the Woods family have some secret lab they use to create the best human specimen , they are all next level of hotness Octavia have you ever thought about it ‘’

 

Clarke answered from her place on the couch ‘’Please, Raven no more conspiracy theories from you ‘’

 

Octavia giggled at this , while Raven frowned trying to come up with a replay .

 

‘’The last time the great Raven Reyes had one of her conspiracy theories , you promised all of us to stop playing pokemon go cause you though the government are using the game to spy on people’s location by using their GPS ‘’ Clarke said chuckling a little , she loves Raven to pieces that’s why missing with her is so fun

Octavia’s hands are on her hips holding tight body shaking from laughter ‘’Stop it Clarke I can’t breathe ’’

 

Raven shakes her head ‘’Whatever assholes , it’s my fault for wanting to make sure you don’t get kidnapped by a rouge section of the government ‘’ 

 

The two other woman continuing their laughing fit, until Clarke’s phone interrupt buzzing , she reach for her phone , giving a puzzled look when she sees it’s Marcus calling her , she gestures for her two friends to stop talking 

 

‘’Hey Marcus , is everything ok? Is mom ok ?’’ she speaks quickly not bothering with saying polite hallos .

 

‘’Yes Clarke , your mom is okay , everything is good here. The reason I called is to ask about Detective Lexa Woods ‘’ he answers 

 

Clarke can tell from Marcus’s voice he is a little bit mad about her decision regarding the Detective ‘’Okay ?’’ she says with uncertainty 

 

‘’Clarke I know you’re a great Doctor , the best at what you do , Am in nowhere questioning your call or judgment , but I can’t for the life of me figure how could you give the all clear to someone who’s showing signs of PTSD ‘’ 

 

‘’I know , it was a hard call , trust me the only way I thought would help Detective Woods to be more open was giving her the all clear as a sign that I’m on her side’’

 

‘’ I see your point , But couldn’t you try another way to gain her trust ‘’ Marcus sighed defeated

 

‘’Well Marcus , since she is one of your Detective I think you know her better than I do . What do you think would convince her to share her darkest deepest secrets with me?’’ Clarke was kind of getting pissed at how everyone was questioning her decision 

 

‘’Am sorry Clarke , I didn’t mean to upset , it’s just Lexa’s family are very close friends to me , and I kind of feel responsible for what happen to her when she was undercover ‘’

 

‘’Don’t worry , I promised I’d help ‘’

 

‘’I know you did , Alright than I’ll leave you to it , bye ‘’

 

‘’Goodbye’’ she hang up her phone and put it back on the coffee table , glancing at her friends trying to communicate in sign language ‘’ummm , guys what are you doing ?’’ she said with a slight smile on her face 

 

‘’You told us to be quite so ‘’ Raven said shrugging her shoulders 

 

‘’Who was it ?’’ Octavia asks 

 

‘’Marcus , he called about a patient of mine ‘’ 

 

‘’That’s weird , why is he asking about your patients ?’’ Octavia quirked an eyebrow at this 

 

Raven narrowed her eyes at Clarke ‘’Is it a female or a male patient ?’’

 

‘’Female ‘’ Clarke replied not understanding where this was going 

 

Raven eyes widen ‘’OMG , is Marcus having an affair with one of your patient , is he cheating on Abby ? who’s ass am I going to make blow ?’’

 

Octavia laughed hard , eyeing Raven ‘’That’s wow really Raven , I mean no kink shaming here , but wow ‘’

 

Raven smirked ‘’Not what I meant O , I meant going bom bom ‘’ she made an explosive sounds gesturing with her hands 

 

‘’WHAT !!! what the hell Raven , no one is cheating on anyone , and you can’t go blowing shit up , what did I just say about your conspiracy theories , I swear to god we’re all going to end up in jail because of you ‘’

 

‘’Clarkey , don’t worry if that ever happens Marcus will help our assess , unless he’s too busy bumping uglies with your patient , than we will just get Anya to help hide the evidence , am too pretty to do time, and look poor Octavia will have to find herself a wifey on the first day with that angelic face ‘’

 

Octavia pouts a little ‘’Yeah Clarke , don’t let me become someone’s bitch it will break Lincoln’s heart not being able to see me for all these year ‘’

 

‘’Really ? how long the sentence will be ?’’ Raven asks

 

‘’probably 10 to live , conspiracy for murder , accessory for murder , first degree murder , will be lucky to see the light of day ever again ray ‘’

 

‘’Think of all the cool tattoos we can get thought ‘’ 

 

Clarke was looking dumbfounded between her friends ,’’ Don’t worry O, I will never let that go so far ….’’ Clarke trailed a bit to add to the drama ‘’because I’ll kill both of your assess before that happens for stupidity, seriously Raven , I have no idea how your brain works sometimes ’’

 

‘’Well of course you can’t Clarkey because am a genius ‘’ she turned to Octavia ‘’up top O’’ the two woman laugh whole heartedly while high fiving 

 

Clarke face palmed ‘’Children , am surrounded by children ‘’

 

‘’On a more serious matter , what is going on , why is Marcus asking you for information about one of you patients ‘’

 

‘’Because said patient in one of the Detective that works under him ‘’

 

‘’Cool , is she a total bitch ? Anya tells me Detectives tend to dislike shrinks ‘’

 

‘’No , I don’t really know I only had one session with her , there is something different about her though , like her eyes can look straight inside my soul ‘’

 

‘’Your soul eh ? Does little Clarkey have a crush on someone ?’’ Raven says in a teasing tone .

 

Clarke huffs out in annoyance and lift an eyebrow to glare at Raven 

 

‘’Maybe a forbidden love considering the whole Doctor patient thing ‘’ Raven continued wiggling her eyebrows at Clarke .

 

‘’Ray , it’s not that , she … I don’t know different , special , I honestly can’t describe what is it , I meet her once and it feels like I’ve knows her for ages , I feel like I want to hug her and tell her everything is going to get better ,it’s just’’ sighs ‘’I don’t know ‘’

 

Raven and Octavia shared a look , they never heard Clarke talk about someone like that let along someone she only meet once .

 

‘’Child I think you got a crush , a major crush I might add ‘’ Raven said 

 

‘’I think so too Clarkey ‘’ Octavia added her agreement 

 

‘’You guys I told you it’s not like that , it’s her eyes they show so much lost , it reminds me of myself after dad’s death ‘’ Clarke hang her head low .

 

The two women moved next to their friend on the couch after the saw a tear roll down Clarke’s cheek .They sat on both side of Clarke with Raven’s hand on Clarke’s knee while Octavia’s hand was on her shoulder .

 

‘’Hey Clarkey , you know we’re here for you ‘’ Octavia spoke in hushed voice making sure not to startle Clarke .

 

‘’Yeah , Griffs , we’re here if you need us , you’re stuck with us and we will always be here even if you don’t want us around ‘’

 

Clarke lift her head up and hugged both her friends ‘’I love you guys ‘’

 

‘’We love you too ‘’ both Raven and Octavia said in unison 

 

‘’Sooo , should I tell a joke or are you good now ‘’ Raven added

 

‘’Am okay ray , I don’t feel like laughing though ‘’ 

 

‘’What was that , you feel like Laughing ‘’ Raven said moving her hands slowly to Clarke’s side ‘’Get her O ‘’ 

 

Clarke suddenly found herself on the floor her two best friend tickling her ‘’PFFFFF, YOU g UYSS ,P…..lease ,pfuahhhh , STOP!!’’ she managed to slap Raven’s hand 

 

‘’Damn Griffin , why do you have to be so mean , am telling your mum on you ‘’ said Octavia from her place on the floor. 

 

‘’You two supposed to be adults for god sake ‘’ she huffed out annoyingly although she didn’t mean it at all , she love how her two friends would always make her laugh even in the lowest point in her life, when she lost her dad and couldn’t be bothered to leave her bed , or do anything for that matter they never left her , even when she refused to talk to them , they would stay next to her without speaking , waiting until Clarke felt better to talk about it , they were there through her highest highs and lowest lows , she knew how lucky she is to have two amazing loyal people who would do anything to help their friend or make her laugh she was actually proud to call both of them her friends , they are the sweetest people ever in her eyes 

 

End Flashback 

 

A knock on the door pull Clarke from her thoughts , A blonde haired woman with a green eyes entering with a smile on her face 

 

‘’Hey Clarke , just wanted to let you know , the green eyed beauty is back , damn she has short shorts showing her lone toned legs , she’s extremely hot that one ‘’ Harper made a gesture of fanning herself with her 

 

‘’Lexa’s here ? ‘’ Clarke asked completely ignoring Harper’s comment 

 

‘’Is that her name ? I don’t know sorry Clarke , she already told me but I was too busy drooling over her ‘’

 

Clarke felt a ping of something in her heart but she can’t tell why ‘’Harper Please show some professionalism , she is a client not a piece of meat besides what would Monty say ?’’ 

 

‘’Oh come on Clarke , she is an eye candy anyone can tell you that and Monty won’t mind , we have an open relationship , that he is enjoying it way too much with Miller ‘’

 

‘’Honestly harp too much information , also am pretty sure Detective Woods will not enjoy being called eye candy ‘’

 

‘’No she doesn’t ‘’ A voice from behind Harper spoke causing the other two woman to go silent , when the owner of the voice moved closer showing their Face both woman’s eye widen with embarrassment .

 

Sky Blue meet Forest Green , Clarke immediately losing herself in the intense green eyes

Harper turned her head slowly with a horror look plastered on her face , like one of those bad low budget scary movies ‘’Detective …I … I ‘’

 

‘’So eye candy huh ? well can’t say it’s a new one ‘’ Lexa said with a smirk seeing how flustered both women are becoming 

 

‘’See you can’t really blame me if I said you’re beautiful , so delic….’’

 

Clarke cut her off ‘’That will be all Harper , thank you ‘’

 

‘’Right , sure , am sorry ‘’ Harper left in a hurry closing the door softly behind her 

Lexa stood behind the closed door for a moment fidgeting with her hands before finally moving and sitting on the couch, not before looking at the paintings from her first session , it surprised her how much calm and at ease that painting gives her , the same night sky painting .

 

‘’Am so sotty about what you just heard , Harper has no filter but she’s harmless ‘’

 

‘’It’s okay , seeing how flustered she became was satisfactory enough ‘’ 

 

‘’ I see , well what do you want to talk about today ?’’

 

‘’I don’t know ‘’

 

Clarke raised her eyebrows a little at this ‘’You do remember our deal , yes ?’’

 

‘’Yeah ‘’ Lexa sighed ‘’I’ve been meaning to ask you who painted that , I couldn’t see any signature on the bottom ‘’ she gestured to the night sky painting behind Clarke .

 

Clarke knew what painting Lexa was talking about without needing to look behind her , she found the brunette stealing glances at the paintings in their first session 

 

‘’That would be me ‘’ Clarke answered looking back at Lexa’s confused look

 

‘’Wait , you painted this , that’s remarkable ‘’ Lexa stood up and moved to where the painted was hanging , she stopped when she was right in front of the wall , her hand moved on its own accord and touched the painting 

 

Clarke turned in her face to keep eye contact with Lexa , which was impossible considering the young Detective was still looking at the painting with her back to Clarke .

 

‘’Are you an artist too ?’’ 

 

Lexa moved back to face the Doctor rubbing at her neck ‘’No, am horrible actually , I can’t even draw a straight line ‘’

 

‘’Am sure you’re not that bad ‘’ Clarke moved to stand next to where the brunette was .

 

‘’Oh trust me am much worst you can ask Aden , he is the artsy one ‘’

Clarke chuckled a bit ‘’I know a very good place to get canvases and brushes , all the stuff you need to draw , I can give you the address if Aden is interested in this kind of things ‘’ 

‘’That will be great , thank you , so Doc what’s the inspiration behind this painting ‘’ 

 

‘’This is not part of the deal , but fine , I’ll answer if I can get to ask you a question too ‘’ Clarke looked hopefully at Lexa , she thought maybe this is her chance to get the   
Detective to talk about what’s hunting her 

 

‘’Sure thing Doc , hit me ‘’ Lexa said her smile still on place 

 

‘’Why do you think the Police Department thought it was better to send you here , and not have you back at the streets without a clearance from me ?’’ ’ The blond said , voice soft and curious , She didn’t know what to expect . From what both her step dad and mom said , she knew Lexa isn’t the type to gush out about her problems and feelings 

 

Lexa sighed , she knew she had to talk about this eventually , it might as well be now ‘’How long do you have , it’s quite the story Doc ‘’

 

‘’I have all the time in the world , we can stay as long as you want ‘’

 

‘’You’re not going to let it be are you ?’’

 

‘’Not a chance ‘’

 

‘’I guess am here because the Police Department wanted to make sure I didn’t lose any screws up here ‘’she gestured at her head , her voice came out more defensively than she intended ‘’In my opinion it’s a load of crap , they don’t care they just want to clear their conscious if I ever were to go crazy and do a little killing spree or blow my brains out , your turn ‘’

 

Clarke was could feel the anger Lexa buried deep inside and with every words she said she could feel those green eyes burning with intensity and the tense muscle showing on Lexa’s back .’’Don’t you think you are a bit exaggerating ?’’ 

 

Lexa didn’t answer only gesturing in her hands that it was now Clarke’s turn to answer the question she had asked 

 

‘’Alright , my dad was an engineer , one night we went camping on my 13th birthday , he built me a telescope , it made me so happy and we spent the whole night star gazing with him by my side telling me all about the constellation , it was the best birthday gift I ever had , see I was a bit of a nerd when it comes to stars , he was a great man ‘’ Clarke said trying her best to stop herself from crying , she could feel the sting on tears in her eyes 

 

‘’Was ?‘’ Lexa questioned 

 

‘’Yeah, he passed away when I was 17 , to me he was the greatest parent I could have ever had, he taught me so much ‘’ a sob escaped her lips she didn’t even know she was crying until she felt a warm slender fingers on her cheek wiping away her tears, the hand finally rusted on her jaw rubbing calming circles , she looked up and was meet by forest green eyes , the most mesmerizing green eyes she ever had the pleasure to stare at ‘’it’s been ten years and still the mention of my dad makes me cry y eyes out , am sorry ‘’ Clarke to look away 

 

Lexa cupped Clarke’s cheek and moved her chin up to make sure she’s looking at her , she shook her head negatively ‘’Don’t . don’t you ever apologize for mourning a loved one. I lost someone special to me too , her name was Costia she was taking from me way too early . I thought I would never get over the pain ‘’ 

‘’Did you ? ‘’ asked Clarke in a whisper 

 

‘’No because I learned some important things , every time I feel the pain of losing her , I remind myself it was my fault from the start, if I didn’t love her I would have never felt this broken for losing her . Love is weakness Doctor , especially in my line of work the people I love will always be used against me somehow ‘’  
Clarke lift her hands up over to the hands still on her cheeks and squeeze reassuringly , she can tell Lexa is doing her best to fight tears off .

 

When their hands touched it send a shiver down Clarke’s spine and by judging Lexa’s reaction she would say the other woman felt it too

 

‘’So you choose not to care about anyone ?Not to love ?’’ she says disbelievingly ‘’I could never do that ‘’ 

 

‘’Then you put the people you care about in gander , you risk breaking your heart more , and the pain will never go away , you might even get hurt physically ‘’Lexa said trying her best to keep her emotionless façade 

 

‘’Love is not weakness , it’s the complete opposite , it makes you strong, it gives you happiness every time you’re around the people you love , it makes you do stupid things , things you would never have done in a million years , Love makes you brave , it …’’ Clarke says hopping Lexa would understand how wrong she is 

 

Lexa stops her ‘’I agree with what you said last Doctor , I loved , I’ve been loved , but when my heart fell in love it all came crushing down , love does makes you stupid things , because of love Costia jumped in front of a bullet that was meant for me , you said you want to know my story , well Doctor becareful what you wish for ‘’ Lexa continued her eyes still on Clarke her hands still holding the blonde Doctor , the two of them were standing so close to each other , it was hard to see when one begins and the other ends .

 

Clarke doesn’t know what came over her , only she was leaning close eyes still fixated on the young Detective , the Brunette leaning as well …

 

KNOCK KNOCK 

 

Suddenly a knock on the door made the two woman jump apart .

 

Harper came in to view with a worried look on her face ‘’Doctor , your mum is calling ‘’ she look between the two flushed woman noticing how both their cheeks seems to be bright red 

 

‘’Harper , please tell her am with a client , and I’ll get back to her as soon as possible ‘’ Clarke said eyes still trained on Lexa 

‘’She said it’s important , it also involved Detective Woods younger brother , she needs you both to go to the hospital ‘’

 

Lexa was in her own bubble was she really going to talk to the Doctor about Costia , more importantly was she going to kiss the doctor , wait a second did the nurse say something about Aden , her head shut up ‘’Aden , what did you say about my brother ?’’ she asked with concern lacing her face 

 

‘’I don’t really know , Detective , I just know , the older Doctor Griffin wants you both at the hospital 

 

Lexa felt her head spin and she needed something to hold on too , only she couldn’t see anything past the darkness covering her eyes , then it was like she’s been touched by an angel , she heard the softest voice ever whispering in her ears that everything is going to be okay , and arms wrapping around her to shield her from the cruelty of this world , she opened her eyes slowly and was overwhelmed with a magnificent sky blue eyes watching her curiously , than pale hands were tugging her alone , instead of fighting this strange feeling she let it take over her , let the pale hands guide her out of the clinic , through a parking then opening the car door and buckling her seat belt on . 

 

She looked to her hand and found the same pale hand on her squeezing little , she turned her head to the driver seat and saw Clarke looking at her worriedly .

 

‘’Don’t worry Lexa , I got you , am taking you to the Aden .Everything will be okay I promise ‘’ with that the car took off to the hospital

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so sorry for any mistakes people i was in a hurry . i have an appointment with my dentist to take out my wisdom teeth and i didn't want to leave you without updates .
> 
> Again so sorry


	10. Scratches & Headlocks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW : homophobic comments 
> 
> TW : Violence

Clarrke was watching the young Detective when Harper told them Abby called and they need to go to the hospital She could see how pale Lexa became so different from the beautiful glowing tan she has , how her eyes went wide and all of the sudden became numb .

 

She asked Lexa what she wanted to do . but the brunette just do there not talking , seemingly too shocked to do anything , when Clarke continued talking , and there was still not replay from Lexa , she did the only thing she could think about , she hugged Lexa , she didn’t know how will the Detective feel about her invading her personal space she only thought if it was her and someone told her one of the people she loves got hurt , she would have like to being hugged .

 

When the Detective returned the hugged Clarke sighed a breath of relieve , Lexa still wasn’t talking so Clarke did the best she could , she tugged on her hand , guiding her to Clarke’s car , to her surprise she was meet with total compliance , the Detective didn’t even fight her or blink an eye when they got to the car and Clarke had to put on her seat belt for her .

 

During the drive to the hospital Clarke felt her heart ache for the brunette girl , the girl seemed just so lost .

 

‘’Don’t worry Lexa , I got you , am taking you to Aden. Everything will be okay I promise ‘’ 

 

‘’Aden , he is ….. I can’t do this without him ‘’ Lexa said in a broken voice, foreign even to her own ears 

 

‘’You won’t have to, we don’t really know what happen, it could be nothing ‘’ Clarke answered trying her hardest to sound positive .

 

‘’My mum has been calling me none stop all morning , I just thought she wanted to talk that’s why I didn’t answer her ‘’ Lexa bite her lip shaking her head .

 

‘’Lexa I know what you’re thinking , it’s not your fault your brother got hurt , you can’t blame yourself for every wrong thing that’s happening in your life ‘’

 

‘’What do you know about it , you don’t know me , you are just some one am forced to talk too nothing more ‘’ Lexa raised her voice angrily , immediately regretting it after the sad luck she received from Clarke.

 

‘’That’s true, am sorry for over stepping ‘’ Clarke pulled her hand away from Lexa , losing the warmth that was spreading in all her veins .

 

Lexa put her thumb and middle finger on both sides of her head applying pressure to relieve the headache she was feeling ‘’Look am sorry , am worried about my brother ‘’ 

 

‘’I know you are , but still that doesn’t give you the right to be a bitch to me when all I wanted to do was try to help you ‘’ 

 

‘’You’re right , it’s just that I promised I will protect him no matter what , and I can’t break my promise again , if anything happens to that little boy I think it will break me for good ‘’

 

‘’I get that , you love him ‘’ She said more of a statement than a question 

 

‘’I do , he was there for me , when I hit rock bottom , I don’t deserve him , nor his love ‘’ she drops her head a little 

 

‘’Everyone deserves Love Lexa , and you deserve the world if you asked me ‘’ Clarke look away not believing what her traitorous mouth had just let out 

 

‘’You think too highly of me Doctor ‘’ Lexa kept her gaze looked outside of the window .

 

‘’Am only stating the truth Lexa , and it’s Clarke you don’t have to keep calling me Doctor ‘’

 

‘’I guess will agree to disagree CLARKE ‘’ Lexa added .

 

And damn Clarke felt that shiver again , her whole nerves system going on overload by the way Lexa says her name , she thought back to what Raven and Octavia said , could she be crushing on her patient , FUCK that’s not good at all , Raven kept teasing her about this suppose crush what will happen if she knew she was right , damn it , damn it , damn it Raven will never let her hear the end of it .

 

Thankfully she spotted the Ark Hospital door and speed off to park her car , before she was parked though , the door on Lexa’s side open and the brunette jumped out of it while the car was still running .

 

Lexa started running through the door searching for a familiar face , she ran to the nurses desk ‘’Aden Woods , where can I find him ‘’ Her nerves were back at full force along with a nauseating feeling in the pit of her stomach making her forget her manners 

 

A nurse with a board expression looked at her typing away slowly on her computer , and a phone on the other hand seemingly gossiping about something , which was totally inappropriate ‘’Waite a sec pudding’’ she said to her phone .

 

Lexa could make out the blue contact she had on and the cheap blonde dye she has 

 

‘’And you are ?‘’ said the nurse chewing away her gum 

 

Lexa felt the surge of anger ‘’His fucking sister , now could you do your fucking job and tell me where my brother is or are you too busy being an incompetent , annoying ..‘’ she all but screamed , Lexa put her finger on the Hospital line effectively disconnecting the call the nurse was having , she breathed deeply to try to calm herself

 

The nurse stood from behind her desk ‘’Excuse you ? what the hell is wrong with you lady ? ‘’

 

Lexa felt her hands twitch and she was thanking her lucky star , she didn’t bring her gun with her , otherwise this nurse in front of her would be shitting bullets by now not that she would actually shout an innocent person it’s just that this nurse making the idea very compelling .

 

She took a deep breath trying to calm herself ‘’Look tell me where I can find my brother , Doctor Griffin called saying he was here ‘’

 

‘’Well , let me check ‘’ says the nurse huffed in annoyance 

 

‘’Fuck , isn’t in your job description to be helpful and know this shit ‘’ Lexa was looking at her murderously until she felt a hand on her tense shoulders making her head snap up to see who was touching her 

 

Clarke spoke softly ‘’Hey , calm down I know where they are . come with me ‘’ 

 

Lexa nodded her head turning to follow Clarke ‘’Oh and one more thing , worst Harley Quinn copycat ever ‘’ Lexa said in a disgusted voice making Clarke giggle from her place next to her , she could hear the faint ‘’BITCH’’ the nurse said and all the other whispered profanities . 

 

Clarke had a smile brightening her face when Lexa looked at her ‘’What ?’’ She asked commanding 

‘’Nothing , nothing Detective , I didn’t know you were a Harley Quinn fan ‘’

 

Lexa rolled her eyes ‘’We came here for Aden , now where is he ?’’

 

‘’Right , this way I wouldn’t want you to lose your shit on me like you just did to that poor nurse ‘’

 

‘’Poor , she was inappropriate as hell ‘’ Lexa scoffed .

 

Lexa spotted a brunette curls ahead of them and ran to it knowing all too well it belonged to her mother ‘’Mum where is he , is he okay , does he need a surgery or blood , I can donate ‘’

 

‘’shesh , Alexandria slow down , Aden is fine , he just got into a fight at school ‘’ her mum gaze moved behind her shoulder ‘’Oh a blonde , she’s breath taking sweetie ‘’ her mum whispered in her ears .

 

‘’what , ?? ‘’ Lexa questioned confused , then it all came back to her , fuck she was with Clarke on a session and the drove together , how the hell is she suppose to tell her mum Clarke was just her shrink , or should she tell her mum the truth , maybe she doesn’t have to decide anything because aunt Indra showed up 

 

‘’Hey aunt Indra , how are you , were you able to see Aden ?’’ 

 

‘’No honey , your dad is in there with him though , so is Doctor Griffin , Also uncle Gustus is on his way . The more important thing why were you not picking up your phone , we tried to called and text ‘’ Indra narrowed her eyes at Lexa .

 

Lexa turned around to behind her and saw Clarke fidgeting with the hem of her shirts .Lexa rub at the back of her neck , gesturing for Clarke to come over with her other hand ‘’Mum , Aunt , this is Doctor Griffin ‘’ 

 

‘’LEXIE , CLARKE !!! YOU’RE HERE TOO ‘’shouted Aden from the hallway being pushed on a wheel chair by Alexander cutting Lexa off in his excitement , Lexa’s dad Alexander was huge over 6 tall feet muscled man with a tan sharing Lexa’s tan and her brunette hair with mix of hazelnut and green eyes color , he had a big smile on his face pushing his son around , when his eyes meet Lexa his smile even widened .

 

Indra and Elizabeth were looking at each other both wondering how does Aden know the girl that came with Lexa .

 

‘’Am sorry , my name is Clarke Griffin , I was Lexa’s friends in school ‘’ she moved to shake both women hands , Elizabeth smiled softly at her and dragged her for a hug , Indra on the other hand looked at her suspiciously only giving her a nod with a stern hand shake .

 

Lexa ran towards her dad and Aden , she moved to give her dad a quick hug only to have him hold on to her tightly , lifting her up a good four feet from the ground ‘’Dadddd , you are squishing me ‘’ she whined 

 

‘’My Alexandria too old to give her old dad a hug , tsk tsk tsk , now I have you I will never let go ‘’ the huge man added laughing hard 

 

‘’Yes dad , get her, get Lexie ‘’ Aden clap his hand 

 

‘’Dad I can’t breathe ‘’ Lexa said out of breath 

 

Her dad finally put her on the ground and let go of her ‘’Not cool dad , not cool ‘’ she pushed her shoulder against his glaring at him and Aden ‘’And you , what a traitor I came all this way to see you , the least you can do is take my side ‘’

 

Clarke was awestruck watching the exchange between the family member , she knew they were good people she just didn’t know they were this good , this caring , this much loving for their children , it reminded her of her dad and the loving look he has only towards the people he love . not that he wasn’t a kind man , he was but he kept that special look full of love and care to Clarke and her mother , she looked up noticing how Lexa was now completely relaxed she can see it from her posture , she was kneeling down in front of Aden ruffling his hair 

 

‘’So champ , how are you doing ? are you hurt any where ?’’ Lexa asked 

 

Aden bite his lip nervously ‘’am okay , I think I only broke my arm ‘’ he lifted his arm showing the blue cast he had on 

 

Clarke moved next to Lexa and kneeled down in front of Aden as well ‘’Sorry buddy we didn’t get you gift , we were in a hurry to see you ‘’ 

 

Aden wrapped his tiny hands around Clarke giving her a hug ‘’It’s okay , you can bring me a gift later ‘’ we winked at her , Clarke melted at the young boy antics ‘’sure thing buddy , anything you want ‘’

 

Lexa felt her heart swell at the scene in front of her ‘’ Aden , how did you get hurt ? ‘’ she was curious to know how did her young brother manage to break his arm and a black eyes 

 

Aden laughed nervously ‘’Now we match Lexie ‘’ he said gesturing at her own fading black eye 

 

Lexa knew by Aden’s avoidance to meet her eyes he had done something she wouldn’t like ‘’Aden ‘’ she warned 

 

‘’Okay , but promise me you won’t get upset , I know I promised not to get in to a fight but the assh…’’  
‘’Ahummm ‘’ Alexander cleared his throat 

 

‘’Yeah sorry , the stupid butt Mickey was saying some unkind words , he was provoking me Lex , I told him to cut it out and he didn’t so we fought and he pushed me on the ground after he pushed me that’s how I get the broken arm and the bruise ‘’ 

 

‘’What did he say Aden ?’’ she asked in a soft voice , when Aden refused t answer keeping his gaze on the floor , she asked more sternly ‘’Aden ‘’

 

‘’I don’t want to upset you ‘’ he said tears running down his cheeks 

 

Clarke put a comfortable hand on his knee to try to calm him down 

 

‘’Lexa , I think that’s enough ‘’ her dad said , her mum adding ‘’Let it go honey ‘’ and Indra coming closer to where Aden is , seemingly ready to talk too 

 

Lexa lifted her hand up to shut every one up , she was scared that one of the kids were bulling Aden and if that was true , she planned to have a talk with their parents ‘’ Sweetie I won’t get upset , I just need to know what happen ‘’ she smiled reassuringly at him 

 

He nodded before speaking ‘’Mickey pike , said you shouldn’t be a cop because you like girls , he said you’re sick .Lexa I couldn’t let him say bad things about you ‘’ Aden’s voice become a whisper 

 

Lexa was sheathing with anger , her hands balled into fists by her side and her jaw was clenched so hard she thought he teeth might break .

 

‘’Hallo everyone ‘’ Came the chipper voice of Doctor Abby Kane Griffin behind them with two people in toe , one a young boy Aden’s age who Lexa assumes is ‘’Mickey pike ‘’ and the other an older man with ruthless eyes who she assumed is the father .

 

The father moved closer to them giving Lexa a glance over before turning to Elizabeth and Alexander ‘’My name is Charles Pike , I do believe your son owns mine an apology ‘’ he said glaring at Aden 

 

Clarke felt the need to protect Aden from this man glare and stood in front of him 

 

Abby now noticing her daughter in the middle of the people ‘’Hey honey , what are you doing here?’’

 

‘’Am here to see Aden ‘’ Clarke smiled , she was hoping her mum wouldn’t say anything about Lexa 

 

‘’Lexa is here too , wow Aden you are a very lucky boy to have all these people here for you ‘’

 

‘’Nice to see you again Abby ‘’Lexa said 

 

The other three adult smiling warmly at her 

 

‘’Did you hear what I said people ‘’Pike spoke again 

 

''Mister Pike , i really think it's not necessary , Beisdes your son was the one who started the whole thing as i've been informed , you need to teach children from a young age not to disrespcet other people's opinion or believes '' Abby said with an athourative tome

 

Lexa’s patience was running law , she stepped away from Aden and came to a halt in front of the man ’’Look if anyone is wrong here and need to apologize that would be your son ‘’ she said in a calm voice , her façade was back on point 

 

Clarke was still sitting on the floor next to Aden , not knowing what exactly going to happen

 

‘’ I wasn’t talking to you girl , I was talking to your parents . beside my son told me what he said and I don’t think he said anything wrong , it’s not his fault your brother here seems to be a gay lover’’ he turned to face the hardened face of all the other adult before settling his gaze on Alexander ‘’It’s your job to teach him better than this filth ‘’

 

Lexa felt her blood boils over , she felt her control slipping away .Aden tried to push himself off the wheel chair but Clarke’s hands on his knees and his dad’s hands on his shoulder stopped him , everyone was being busy trying to calm Aden ,all hell broke loose than no one saw Lexa launching herself at the older bigger man , her elbow came down hard on his throat , making him double in pain , she turned him around pushing him hard against the wall pinning the older man with her elbow to the back of his neck .’’You little bitch ‘’ he screamed trying to push against her hold .

 

Lexa kicks his knee with too much force making him kneel on the floor in front of her , his back was to her which helped her put this so called Pike in a headlock , making it very hard for him to breath .’’Who’s the little bitch now ‘’she said applying a little more pressure 

 

‘’Lexa let him go ‘’ her Father said still holding screaming Aden to the chair , Elizabeth right next to him barely holding her anger from attacking this man too , while Indra moved next to Lexa putting one hand on her shoulder ‘’Alexandria , let go of this man ‘’ she squeezed Lexa’s shoulder a bit hard trying to get Lexa to leave the man without Indra needing to interfere , she could see the man turning to blue , making her even more worried, Lexa might go too far .

 

Lexa was feeling the deep scratches on her neck the other man was causing as he was trying to escape the headlock she put him in , she knew he can’t breathe because with every second passing , his hands were losing the pressure his nails put on her neck , he was still scratching her though with all the power he got trying desperately to make her stop .

 

‘’BACK OFF !!!!‘’ she yelled , her voice came out in commanding tone maybe Indra look at her surprised , Elizabeth looked shocked at her daughter outburst while Alexander was eyeing her worriedly , when Lexa showed no signs of letting go , Alexander nodded her head to Indra conveying with their eyes , Indra seems to understand what he was trying to stay and moved herself closer to Lexa preparing to grab her hands , But a hands on her forearm stopped her she looked up and saw it was the young Doctor’s hand .

 

Clarke pointed her chin towards Lexa after adding ‘’Let me try ‘’ Only whisper her agreement to Clarke .

 

Lexa was still caught up in her anger pressing harder and harder on the man she had in a headlock and was surprised when a pale warm hands wrapped around her thumb rubbing her over Lexa’s knuckle trying to get her attention and a hushed soft voice she knew to be Clarke whispered in her ears ‘’You need to let him go , children are watching you and they are is pretty scared , you need to control yourself for children , for Aden Lexa ‘’ Clarke’s voice is so calming , it makes Lexa almost forget the situation she is in , it was like an angel is speaking directly into her ears breaking away her hard façade 

 

With reluctantly Lexa let go of Pike , moving to his eye level to face him ‘’Listen to me asshole if you came anywhere near my brother I’ll end you ‘’

 

She watch as Pike groan in pain from his place on the floor ,than standing up taking a hold on his son hands , who still had a horrified expression on his face hurrying away from Lexa’s sight .

 

Lexa turned to face her family was regretful stare , Clarke hand still interwind with hers , she felt shameful about what she has just done , true the homophobic asshole deserved it but she should have known better , she should have controlled her anger better 

 

Lexa sigh and turn to face her family she knew she is going to be in deep shit for what she have done , the whole ER room fell silent people staring at her , her mother had a proud smile on her face looking at Lexa , her dad was still shocked about the whole scene although he was more surprise by the sight of the young blonde woman who was still holding on to Lexa’s hand , Indra was shaking her head disapprovingly .

 

Aden stood from his chair abruptly to Lexa , he barreled into her stomach hugging his sister tightly ‘’Am so sorry Lexie , I didn’t want you to get upset ‘’

 

Lexa patted his shoulder ‘’Hey now , am okay , am not upset . If anyone needs to apologize it’s me Aden , am sorry you had to see this ‘’

 

Aden shook his head and took Lexa’s left hand since Clarke has her right ‘’No Lexie , now come on the Doctor needs to see you ‘’ 

 

Clarke looked at to her mother when she saw her moving towards Lexa ‘’It’s fine mom , I can do it ‘’ with that she drag the two Woods sibling to one of the empty bed gesturing for Lexa to take a seat, letting her hand go , she felt Lexa reach for her hand again that only made her smile and squeeze her hand ‘’You know I need my hand if am going to clean your scratches ‘;

 

Lexa’s cheeks were burning she felt embarrassed about not wanting to let go of Clarke’s hand , she didn’t know what came over her she was overwhelmed by emotions after her anger got the best of her and making her nearl chock a man o death ‘’Am sorry ‘’

 

‘’No need to apologize to me , I wanted to slap that gorilla on his mouth after what he said but you beat me to it ,LGBTIQ community deserves better , we deserves better although am sure violence is not the answer , you can’t fight ignorance by violent it will just cause more hate ‘’ 

 

‘’I know ‘’ Lexa sighed ‘’I just don’t know what came over me , I felt my blood boil and my ear ringing the next thing I knew you were there holding my hand while I had Pike in headlock ‘’ Lexa flinched when she felt the antibiotic ointment touch her sensitive skin ‘’Gee Doc , worn a girl first ‘’

 

‘’Oh am sorry , is the big badass Commander hurt by a little tiny scratch ‘’ Clarke said teasingly  
‘’Commander ? ‘’ Lexa questioned confused by the title 

 

Clarke bit her lip nervously damn it she can’t believe how her mouth seems to betray her and share way too much whenever she is around this gorgeous woman ‘’ I , uh , you just yelled at everyone to back off in a very commanding voice ‘’ lucky for her Aden choose now to make his presence known ‘’Yeah Lexie , you were like Roar ‘’ he made a claw gestures with her tiny hand 

 

‘’Okay you two , that’s enough teasing for one day ‘’ 

 

Aden bend over to whisper in Clarke’s ear ‘’see very commanding this one ‘’ making Clarke burst out laughing 

 

‘’I heard that ‘’ Lexa huffed annoyingly, although not feeling annoyed at all , she likes the nickname , he scratches were burning with the disinfected cream Clarke soft hands were applying on her neck matching the burning sensation she felt running through her entire body 

 

‘’That was my point Lexie ‘’ 

 

‘’Whatever ‘’ Lexa added crossing her hands over her chest .

 

‘’Hey Lex , you know I love yeah?, it doesn’t matter to me if you like Boys or Girls , you can fall in love with anyone you want no matter who they are or what color their skin is , as long as they make you happy am ok with them ‘’ Aden said smiling at his big sister 

 

Lexa’s heart swelled for the second time today by the love Aden showed her ‘’I know buddy , I love you too Ade , and you can love whoever you want too as long as they make you happy ‘’ Lexa said giving a side hug to her little brother 

 

Clarke had a genuine smile on her face looking at the siblings interaction ‘’You guys are the sweetest siblings ever ‘’

 

After Clarke finished with Lexa’s scratches , she got rid of her gloves and pointed for the other two people to follow her , the three moved together ,Clarke reached for Lexa’s hand again without much thinking of it .

 

The three walked back to the other waiting family member and Doctor Kane Griffin , they seemed to be having an animated talk between all four adults with big smiles on all their faces .

 

Lexa stopped walking before reaching them , her hand moves to rub at the back of her neck wincing slightly as she felt the sensitive sin there . Her dad Alexander spotted her and beckoned her to come closer ‘’Hey honey , you’re okay ?’’

 

‘’Yeah dad , am fine ‘’ 

 

Her mom wrapped a hand over her shoulder whispering lightly ‘’Am proud of my girl but next time sweetie , kick between his leg it will make him cry like a little bitch ‘’ 

 

‘’Mom ‘’ Lexa warned ‘’You know you shouldn’t tell me you are proud of me after I hit a guy and then tell me where to hit the next one ‘’  
‘’Well sweetheart am proud of you no matter what ‘’ her mom smiled ‘’So who’s the hot blonde and don’t lie I saw you two holding hands ‘’

 

Lexa shook her head , she knew her family all too well and she knew she will never hear the end of it .

 

‘’So Clarke honey , the Woods invited us for breakfast in their ranch on the weekend also the party they are throwing for the police department ‘’ Abby asked her daughter 

 

Clarke looked over to Lexa but the brunette only nodded her head as if to answer her unasked question 

 

‘’Sure it will be my pleasure ‘’ Clarke smiled politely 

 

Lexa’s dad surprised Clarke by pulling her to a hug ‘’Thank you Clarke ‘’ while Lexa’s mom whispered ‘’You can stay over at Lexa’s room if you’d like , we are very open minded people , as long as you use protection everything will be okay ‘’

 

Clarke felt her jaw hit the ground from her surprise , her eyes were wide , her cheeks were as red as a tomato 

 

‘’Mum what did you just say to her ‘’ Lexa asked watching suspiciously 

 

‘’What ? honey I just said she is more than welcome to stay over , isn’t that right Clarke ? ‘’ Elizabeth said smiling 

 

Clarke couldn’t believe in her ability to speak so she only nodded her head agreeing .

 

After that everyone said their polite goodbyes leaving a still stunned Clarke behind she quickly shook her head and sent quick text to Lexa telling her to meet tomorrow because their session got interrupted .

 

LEXA WOODS : sure thing Doc but if am waking up early on a Saturday then  
There better be coffee .

 

The Doc : As long as you bring the bagel 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like to see anything any couple or scenes in the strory please don't hesitate to ask people


	11. Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa's has some nightmares, Clarke is a caring mama bear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos everyone 
> 
> i split this chapter into two , I'll try my best to post the second part soon,
> 
> hope you enjoy

At night Lexa sat at her bed remembering the events of today, all what was running throw her mind was Clarke how she hold her hand , how she tried to calm her down , Lexa was sure if it was anyone else they would have left after the whole our burst , but no Clarke stayed not only that but she also wrapped her hand around Lexa making her stop and let go of the man , But that wasn’t all , Clarke took care of her scratches , never once saying anything about what happen and how Lexa totally went apeshit in the middle of the ER on some assholes ass, Clarke tangled their fingers together and whispered reassuringly in her ear that everything will be fine , then there was that look, Lexa could have swear that when Clarke was cleaning her scratches her eyes kept dropping To Lexa’s lips , and what the hell with that text , were they flirting , no it can’t be .

 

Lexa kept tossing and turning at night until finaly sleep claim her 

 

_her eyes flutter open,sun rays invading her room and she is only now aware of the low hushed ''i love yous '' that are being whispered into her ear , the finger tips playing with her hair , the tiny little kisses all over her neck and shoulders , she looks up to see a glimpse of black hair , she tries her best to stay still pretending she is still asleep but a particular kiss to a sensetive spot behind her ear makes her squirm and stir trying to move away but hands shot to her waist holding her in her place_

 

_''Ahhaaa , i knew you are awake '' came the teasing voice from her side_

 

_''No am not ,maybe more kissing well help me '' she smiled_

 

_'' Aren't you  little cheeky this morning ?''_

 

_''Well my darling am not the one who wake up early and decided to kiss my girlfriend to wake her up '' Lexa said teasing back_

 

_''Is that so ? should i stop ?''_

 

_''Don't you dare '' she opened her eyes sleep long forotten , to stare at the brown eyes full of love that were staring right back at her  , the black hair that cascaded down her shoulders , the gentle smile that adorned her lovers mouth_

 

_Costia's smile widen '' Hummm ? maybe i should since you are already awake '' Costia burst out laughing but her laugh was cut short by Lexa wrapping her legs around her , lifting her up and pushing her back on the bed while Lexa is on top_

 

_''I told you there is going to be consequences if you stop '' Lexa moved her fingers and shove them up Costia's shirt tickling her lover_

 

_''pffffaahahaha , don't Lexaaaaa, stopppp '' Costia said trying to speak but failing miserably ''I give up , pleasee , stoppp , hahahaha ''_

 

_Lexa leans her head pumping her nose against Costia's ''Good morning beautiful ''_

 

_''Good morning to you too '' Costia answers happily_

 

_Lexa hands work down Costia's boddy until reaching the waistband of her girlfriend's panties , and down to cup her lover over the material , she could sense how wet her lover is making her smile mischievously ''Good morning indeed '' she uses the tip of her finger to push the undergarment out and traces her finger from her girlfriend clit all the way to her soaked follds , she repeated her movment couple of times earning a grunt from Costia ''Stop teasing Lexa , i need you ''_

 

_Lexa smiled more and leaned to kiss her girlfriend the same time she pushed one finger in her girlfriend entrance meeting no resesting , she kissed her lover more deeply swallowing the other girl's moan when she added another finger pumping in and out slowly , she moved her mouth down trailing her lover's neck sucking gentley on her collarbone , making Costia's moan louder and louder filling the room_

 

_Cosia's breathe hitched her hands moved to wrap around Lexa pushing her closer  to her if that was even possible '' Am close  ''she whispered_

 

_'' Let go babe '' Lexa said with a husky voice in seconds Costia came hard all over her fingers , attaching her mouth to Lexa's shoulder biting hard , it took a minute for Costia to calm down from her high , her mouth still attached to Lexa's shoulder biting harder ._

 

_Lexa's shooulder was staring to ache the bite started to hurt as the seconds grow until it became a searing pain shouting her shoulder ''Costia , babe , it hurts , you need to stop '' when she got no response she continued ''Costia , you need to let go '' her whole arm felt like it was caught sharks teeth , she couldn't move it , the onl thing she was feeling was the raging pain that was growing , it was like she was being shot ''Costiaaaa my shoulder hurts you need to stop '' she yelled pushing the other girl off , but when she looked up , she saw the lifeless body of Costia with blood pouring off her chest_

 

_'' Why did i have to day Lexa ? why didn't you save me ??'' with that Costia begin to disappear_

 

_''Costia , no am sorry , please come back , COME BACK !!!!''_

 

Lexa woke up , jumping from her bed she was covered in swear , her chest heaving , her hands moved to rest over her heart felling the erratic rhythm

, her shoulder was hurting like hell , she tried to massage it but it only made things worst , it was after she got shot all over again . She ran to her bathroom opening the cabinet and searching for her painkillers only to find the bottle empty , she sat down on the cold title raising her knees to her chest and hugging them ''This isn't real , the pain isn't real , it's all in my head '' she sat there shaking back and forth until the sun started rising , she took a hot shower trying her best to get rid of the pain but to no avail , she got out of the bathroom walking stright to her closet , she pulled up a dark blue ripped jeans and a white v_neck shirt , she put on her boots , took her phone and key and left .

 

 

_\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\_

 

Clarke was walking down the street to the clinck , she parked her car and was ready to get out when she saw Lexa sitting in her car head resting on the back of back seat , black rayban avitars covering her eyes , she put on a smile on her face and got out of her car moving over to the Detectives car , she was surprised to see Lexa this early but she was more curious as to why the Brunette was this early , their appointment wasn't until two hours later , she walked slowly and knocked on the drivers window to make her presence known , she didn't know her action would startle the young Detective , who pulled down the window immediately '' Am sorry , i didn't mean to scare you ''

 

''You didn't it's okay '' Lexa's voice came raspy 

 

Clarke raised an eyebrow at Lexa as if saying  _yeah no bullshit_

 

''Okay , you totally did but i was trying to be polite ''

 

''I see , well come along then , what are you doing at the car park ?''

 

''Waiting for you to show up ''

 

Clarke couldn't see Lexa's eyes but she could sense there was something wrong , The Detective whole body language was screaming distress , so instead of pointing out that their is still two hours til their appointment she just beckoned Lexa to come inside the clinik ''Well you are already here so let's get you inside ''

 

Lexa steped out of the car and followed Clarke inside the clinic , her legs working on their own accords , she knew whenever she has one of her Costia related nightmare things tend to get worst , like her mind and her body is stuck on that horrible day couple of month ago and refuse to let her forget how much she lost on that day , her outburst becomes more frequent and everything makes her angry , every little noise makes her irritated .

 

Clarke noticed how out of it today Lexa is and was cocerned to know what happened to make her fidgety and anxious , they got to the office both taking their seats , Lexa on the couch while Clarke on the arm chair in front of her '' Do you mind taking your glasses off , we are inside now , no need for it there is no sun here ''

 

''Sure'' Lexa said removing her glasses , showing the bags under her eyes 

 

''You didn't get much sleep yesterday did you ?'' Clarke watch Lexa's reaction , she was determined to know what's going on with the Detective 

 

''That obvious ha? No i didn't '' Lexa sighed 

 

''Mind telling me why  '' Clarke asked 

 

''Nightmares '' she said not meeting the Doctor's eyes ''It always stars the same , with memories i shared with my girlfriend and than it all goes to hell once i see her dying again in my arms then i wake up and can't go back to sleep '' she said rubbing her shoulder 

 

''How long has this been going '' Clarke asked concern evident in her voice , she could see the look of pain that was on Lexa face it was a mix of physical and emotional pain , she was sure it was over the lose of hergirlfiend , But the young Detective  rubbing her shoulder caused her to be more worried , she read it in her file that she was shot in her shoulder the one she is currently rubbing _vigorously_ she thought , she knew the Detective would hide the fact she is in pain if Clarke were to ask her , but Lexa's boddy is starting to betray her it seems 

 

''It comes and goes but it started after i woke up at the hospital '' Lexa doesn't know why she is opening up and sharing everything with the young Doctor , it's just that there is this calmness that invades her whenever she is around Clarke , compelling her to share what ever she has on her mind, there was this unexplainable peacefulness she feels everytime she looks at the amazing blue eyes that keeps changing from clear sky blue to deep ocean blue

 

''Lexa we never talk about what happened to you at your appartment six month ago '' Clarke was cut off by Lexa slightly raising her  voice

 

''YOU read my file , i know you did , so no need to lie Doctor and ask this questions ,besides i dont want to talk about that now  '' Lexa's shoulder was aching by the second , the pain only seems to cause her to get angrier 

 

 Clarke couldn't help but notice that Lexa now has her hand in a fist over her shoulder , her knuckles were white , her jaw clenched and she seems to be gritting her teeth ''Lexa are you okay ? '' 

 

Lexa's only response was a nod of her head like talking some how is making her pain worse 

 

Clarke couldn't stop herself from standng and going over to Lexa , sitting next to her on the couch ''Hey , is it your shoulder ? '' . Lexa nodded again 

 

''Lexa , can i check it out , you know am a Doctor i could help you '' Clarke said her hand moving slowly towards Lexa . scared that if she makes any sudden moves she would scare the other woman 

 

''I have a rotator cuff tear or something like that , i don't know what was it , i kind of spaced out when your mom was telling me about it '' She said trying to get herself out of an awkward situation but Clarke didn't budge ''Well than Lexa , am sure you wouldn't mind if i took a look '' 

 

''Do whatever you want to do Clarke , i turst you '' Lexa took a deep breath prepearing herself for the pain she feels whenever she has a check out , the pain was a bit to much that's why Doctor Abby gave her the pain killer , but now she finished the bottle she has in a shorter time than she expected , and the thought of going back to Abby to ask her for more was out of the question knowing how she is married to her Captin , also Kane was a close friend to her aunt Indra . She took a breathe trying to calm down

 

''Okay Lexa am just going to move your shirt a bit so i can get a better look , is that alright with you ?'' Clarke asked not wanting to make Lexa uncomfortable

 

''well at least buy me dinner first '' when their was no response from Clarke she added ''Yeah, sorry bad joke '' Lexa said , she felt a warm hand push her shirt to the right and heard a gasp from behind her ''everything okay Doc ? ''  now she was worried about the reason behind Clarke gasping 

 

''Yeah , but there is a little bit of swelling, your shoulder looks brusied in my opinion i think you need to take antibiotics , maybe some pain killers too , you must be in a lot of pain '' Clarke moved her right hand to Lexa's forehead 

 

''Ummm , Clarke what are you doing ?'' Lexa asked confused 

 

''Am checking if you have a fever '' Clarke answered like it was the most normal thing ever ''I can't get your temperature , damn it , oh i know a trick my nana used to do , she would kiss my forehead to make sure if i have a fever or not ''

 

Lexa could've swear she could hear her heart beat in her ear and wasn't sure if Clarke can too ''Okay '' she cleared  her throat when it came too hoarse and reapeated her ''Okay ''

 

Clarke leant over her lips moving to Lexa’s forehead , at the contact she could hear Lexa breathe hitch making her gulp nervously ‘’ Like I suspected you have a fever I think your shoulder is causing the fever ‘’

 

‘’Okay , this is getting ridiculous am not a child so don’t treat me like one ‘’ Lexa hated showing weakness , against her better judgment she stood up quickly trying to get away from Clarke , which she immediately regretted when she felt her head spinning , she grabbed the arm chair steadying herself .

 

She felt Clarke move over to her putting her hand on her back making her tense and straighten her back ‘’Am fine , just got a bit light headed that’s all ‘’

 

‘’Okay am taking you to your apartment now ‘’ Clarke said keeping her hand on Lexa’s back supporting her

 

‘’What ? no look you have a clinic to take care of and am ‘’ Lexa doesn’t have the chance to finish her sentence

 

‘’Fine yeah , you already said that , but am taking you to your house , you were my only patient today , besides you promised me bagel so ‘’

 

Even with her head bounding and shoulder aching Lexa couldn’t help but smile at the young Doctor ‘’I have to say Clarke , you are too bossy ‘’

 

Clarke smiled back ‘’Is that a yes ?’’

‘’Yup , lead the way Doc ‘’

 

Their eyes meet and they both could feel sparks flying Clarke’s hold on Lexa tighten as they moved to the door, happy that for once Lexa listened to her

 

Lexa was confused , she still feels guilty about everything bad that’s happening in her life , but she also was starting to feel something she hasn’t since Costia she was terrified of it , she was more confused than anything , but every time she lays eyes on Clarke everything starts to make sense, her heart doesn’t feel like it’s being squeezed in her chest but rather light and happy , like her heart some how knows everything is going to be fine as long as she is around this gorgeous stranger. 

 


	12. Sickness&Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Title sums it up .  
> Ranya is funny as hell  
> Poor Lexa is sick  
> we finally get to know what happened with Costia  
> a little Clexa moment at the end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: torture in the last part 
> 
> happy reading i hope you like this chapter , it's a bit longer than the others 
> 
> am sorry for any mistakes i wrote this at 3 am and still don't have a beta

Anya and Raven were enjoying a lazy Saturday curled up on top of each other on the big black leather couch , Anya resting her head on the couch’s arm playing with Raven’s hair while Raven was sitting between her open legs having her head resting on Anya’s chest, she felt so comfortable nestled between Anya’s legs , falling and rising every time Anya took a breath.

 

The two of them were very content being domestic with each other, Anya spoke breaking the silence ‘’Hey ray , since we already got engaged , why don’t you move in ? ‘’

 

‘’Babe am here all the time ‘’ Raven replied without lifting her head up

 

‘’So is that a yes ‘’ Anya re asked hopefully

 

‘’What about Lexa ? I don’t want to impose ‘’

 

‘’You are not. I’m asking , besides Lexa won’t have an issue ‘’

 

‘’Are you sure , it’s just I feel how sad she is every time I look at her even without knowing her very well I can tell she is been through a lot ‘’

 

‘’I know Ray , I worry about her all the time too . she used to be a happy person even when she was a child nothing could get her down , but now even when she is laughing her smile never reaches her eyes , even when we go out I feel her still stuck in her own head or zooming out , and I know it’s harder for her because she likes to suffers alone , she is not the type to share her feelings or talk about them which worries me even more Raven ‘’

 

‘’We could only give her support by staying by her side and wait for her to take the first step and share with us if things gets too much ‘’

 

‘’So your advice is just to sit around and wait for her to come to me ?’’

 

‘’Babe you need to have faith in her am sure she will stop pushing everyone and ask for help when needs to ‘’

 

‘’Clearly you don’t know Lexa , she’s soo so  stubborn I can honestly say she is born from the great wall of china  ‘’ Anya smiled softly remembering all the times she begged Lexa sitting on her kness in front of her to do something and all she got was a stern no

 

‘’I think it runs in the family ‘’ Raven giggled a little

 

‘’Whatever so your moving in right ‘’

 

‘’I thought you would never ask ‘’

 

Anya’s eyes lit up ‘’Okay , now seal it with a kiss ‘’

 

Both woman giggle like children, Raven left her head up from Anya’s chest while Anya move her head down , Their lips connect in a loving kiss before they go back to their previous position.

 

Suddenly the two are interrupted by shuffling coming from the entrance , they look up and are meet with two figures instead of the usual one

 

There stood in front of them was Lexa complaining about something they can’t hear and a blond girl who has her back turned to them

 

‘’Look Doc I really appreciate what you’re doing but am fine now ‘’

 

Clarke rolled her eyes ‘’Lexa you are not fine at all , your burning up and your shoulder looks really bad ‘’

 

Now it was Lexa’s turn to roll her eyes ‘’Nothing I can’t handle ‘’

 

‘’Lexa your back , and not alone I might add ‘’ Anya said , surprising  the two woman who were having a bit of a staring contest

 

Clarke turned around when she heard a familiar voice ‘’Anya ?’’

 

‘’Clarke ?’’ Anya said surprised , Raven was standing behind her telling her to move so she could see who the new guest was

 

‘’Raven ? RAVEN !!!‘’ Clarke said when saw her best friend , she jumped up and down hugging Raven , the two woman squeaking excitedly

 

 

‘’Okay am confused ‘’ Lexa added looking at the two woman who were jumping hugging each other like a long lost sisters , the squeaking though was making her headache a lot worst and her stomach turn ‘’ So how do you guys know each other ?’’ she asked gesturing between the three women

 

‘’Clarke here is Raven’s best friend , she helped me with the ring ‘’ Anya said whispering the last part in Lexa’s ear

 

 

‘’I see ‘’

 

Raven and Clarke finally let go of each other and turned their attention to the Woods cousins noticing they were whispering

 

‘’The question is how do you two know each other ‘’ Anya asked her eyes narrowing at Lexa , she saw the tips of angry red marks covered by Lexa’s collar, she moved with light speed moving the collar from her line of sight ‘’Holy hell what have you been doing ? were you out with a dominatrix and didn’t tell me about it ?’’

 

‘’ANYA!!!! , fucking filter ‘’ Lexa reprimanded her cousin

 

Clarke giggled softly next to her ‘’Now I see it , you two makes a perfect couple ‘’ she gestured between Anya and Raven with amusement evident on her face ‘’Raven with her wild imagination slash conspiracy theories and you with you big mouth a highly inappropriate humor ‘’

 

Raven turned to Anya pecking her lips before saying ‘’Babe heard that we are the perfect couple ‘’

 

Lexa scoffed ‘’Yeah for each other cause I don’t think anyone else will be able to tolerate neither of you ‘’

 

Anya’s eyes sparkle with mischief ‘’ Well cousin you still didn’t answer my question ‘’

 

‘’No , I went to the hospital after I got a call informing me that Aden was there , and when I went there was this huge douche bag homophobe who were begging to get his ass kicked ‘’

 

‘’Wait is Aden okay ‘’

 

‘’Yeah he is fine , just a broken hand and a black eye ‘’

 

‘’Oh so you two match now ‘’ Anya said gesturing for the still fading black eye Lexa has

 

 

‘’Oh my god Aden said the same thing ‘’ Clarke chimed in

 

 

‘’How do _you_ know that , seriously guys I feel like am missing something ‘’ Anya said

 

 

‘’Clarkey I didn’t know you and Lex knew each other ‘’

 

All  three women turned their gaze at Lexa , Raven and Anya wanting to know how the two know each other , while Clarke look at her as if asking her what should she say

 

Lexa felt her nausea hitting her hard , she swallowed to keep the pile that was rising in her throat , she was trying her hardest not to throw up in the middle of her living room ‘’She is my Doctor ‘’ she spoke quickly only then registering what had just slipped out of her mouth FUCKING word vomit , she thought

 

‘’She is your Doctor ?’’ Anya questioned with a slight rise of her eyebrow

 

‘’She … ‘’ the pile started rising in the pit of her stomach , she knew this time there is not stopping herself from throwing no matter how much she swallowed , with that knowledge she pushed through Clarke and ran to her bathroom , as soon as her knelt down in front of the toilet she started dry heaving and retching , her stomach was empty but that didn’t mean she didn’t feel any less bad .

 

She flinched away when she felt a hand rubbing smoothing circles on her back she knew whose hands were _ANYA_ while another hand help her hair back from her face , she tried to speak ‘’Am ‘’

 

‘’yeah , we know your fine stop repeating yourself little cousin ‘’Anya replied hands still rubbing circles on Lexa’s back

 

Raven walked in with a glass of water ready for Lexa when she’s done , Clarke head went to Lexa’s forehead cursing under her breath when she felt the fever getting worst .

 

‘’Shit your temperature keeps rising , you need a cold bath ‘’ Clarke announced

 

Lexa only now noticed Clarke was still there in fact she was the person who was holding her hair back, she felt fingers pressing on her pulse point and heard Clarke saying ‘’Your heart beat is increasing ‘’ , Lexa smiled at that if only Clarke knew she was the reason for her heart beat to increase for her heart to start racing , _wait what ? , why would Clarke’s touch have that effect on me_ , _no am still not over Costia_ , _this is just because am sick ,_ she thought to herself

 

‘’I think Clarke has a point , look she is even smiling to herself ‘’ Anya quipped

 

‘’You know I can hear you right ? ‘’ Lexa asked with a raspy voice from all the heaving

 

‘’Dude like am right behind you rubbing your back am sure you heard me ‘’ Anya said trying to make her cousin laugh

 

Lexa closed her eyes and took a deep breath she leaned her back heavily on the jacuzzi next to her head resting on it , her hands were resting on the floor like somehow fighting gravity and raising her hands were too physically  painful  , she felt like her whole body was on fire and her, she felt a hand squeezing her knee causing her to open her eyes

 

‘’Hey would you like to have some water ‘’ Raven handed Lexa the glass of water with eyes full of concern , then she turned to face Clarke ‘’Clarke you are the Doctor here so tell us , what’s going on , do we need to get her to a hospital ?’’

 

‘’No , I think it’s the stomach flu , that and a previous shoulder injury is causing the fever , we need to get her to a cold bath and give her some heavy pain killers ‘’

 

 

‘’I have some Oxycodone lift over from when I got shot in the leg , will that help ?’’ Anya said

 

‘’You what !!!, when did you get shot in leg and how did I not know about this ‘’ Raven asked voice raising slightly while she gave her girlfriend a death glare

 

Anya rubbed at the back of her head nervously ‘’That was before we meet Babe ‘’

 

‘’When ?’’ Raven demanded

 

Anya knew exactly when that happened , she also knew it was after her sixth date with Raven ,she didn’t tell Raven back then because she was scared of how she might react , she was afraid that Raven would break up with her knowing the chances are for Anya to get hurt are pretty big and after that she never felt it was a good time to share that information , and she thought she would never tell Raven considering the poor woman worry about Anya enough as it is , there is no need to cause unnecessarily drama for no reason or so Anya thought .

 

Luckily for her Clarke was there and interrupted the little lover’s quarrel before it began ‘’Ray now really isn’t the time for this ‘’ She turned her gaze to Anya ‘’Can you please go get the pain killers , it will help a lot ‘’

 

‘’This isn’t over yet ‘’ Raven threatened waving a finger at Anya’s face , before Anya hurriedly left the bathroom , coming back after 3 minutes with the bottle of pain killers in hand , she open the clasp offering two pills to Lexa knowing she had a water glass in her hand ‘’Now what ?’’

 

Lexa was so thankful for the painkillers , everything hurt her whole body was aching , her head , her stomach , her limps everything hurt even her lungs were hurting every time she took a breath like she might was fighting some invisible form of enemy .

 

‘’Now we give her a bath you  need to help me get rid of her cloth and we put her in  cold water ‘’

 

Lexa’s head jerk up when hands wrapped behind coming under her armpit to hoist her up ‘’Okay , this has gone on too long , everybody OUT !!’’ she turned around swatting the hands keeping her up and in the process falling back to the bathroom floor

 

Clarke sighed annoyed by how the Detective was acting ‘’ Look would you stop being so damn stubborn and just let us help you ‘’ Clarke heard snickering from behind and turned around to see Raven smirking at her ‘’What ?’’

 

‘’Oh nothing , it’s just a cold day in hell when The Clarke Griffin starts to talk about other people  being stubborn ‘’

 

The two best friends were clueless to what was happening between Lexa and Anya . Lexa in a surge of power got a hold of Anya’s hand and pushed her down ‘’Get them to go out Anya , you can help , only you _please_ ‘’ she looked at her cousin with pleading eyes , Anya nodded her head and cleared her throat causing the two best friend to look at her ‘’Okay ladies , I can help Lexa while you prepare soup or something ‘’ she spoke with authoritative tone making very clear that there was no room for discussion.

 

Clarke and Raven looked at each other wanting to protest but said nothing as they looked at the serious look on Anya’s face so they did what they have been told and left the room , after that Anya moved her attention back to Lexa ‘’Hey do you think you can stand ‘’

 

Lexa shook her head ‘’no, you need to help me with that ‘’

Anya knew Lexa , she knew her cousin would never ask for help in a million years unless she was in a lot of pain , she knelt down scooping Lexa up and put her on the side of the tub before she worked quickly getting rid of the girl’s cloth and laid her in the tub full of cold water , she gasped when she saw Lexa’s injured shoulder but said nothing , not wanting her cousin to be more uncomfortable than she already is

 

 

 *****************************************************************

 

 

Raven and Clarke walked back to the living room and made their way to the kitchen to start working on making the soup

 

‘’Damn it , I should be in there helping , I can’t believe we let your girlfriend intimidate us into leaving Lexa alone ‘’

 

‘’Lexa huh ? is she that and I quote ‘the one with something different about her though , like her eyes can look straight inside my soul ‘’

 

‘’Air quotes, what are we 12 Raven ‘’

 

‘’Why are you avoiding the question ? answer me Clarke although am pretty sure it’s her , amazing green eyes , hot body works as a Detective with Kane not to mention she just told us you were here Doctor like 10 seconds ago ‘’

 

‘’Fine , it’s her alright , now can you let it go ?’’

 

‘’Oh hell no , think about it Clarkey we are best friend , am dating Anya , you’re dating Lexa think of all the cool places we could go on in our double date ‘’ Raven than clapped her hands like a 10 year old on Christmas morning waiting excitedly to open his present ‘’Double wedding OMG!!! That would be awesome ‘’

 

‘’You , I don’t even know what to say , you are out of your mind Ray , you need therapy more than half the people who comes to see me ‘’

 

Raven smiles not even offended at what Clarke had just said ‘’Really Clarke think about it , I know you better than you know yourself , I saw the looks you were giving Lexa you care a great deal about her and that’s good I think she needs someone like you , I know you’re trying to convince yourself you are not crushing on her because you barely know her , love can be tricky like that but your eyes are giving you away , even when me and Anya were in the room you were talking to us but your eyes never left her , what am trying to say Clarke that you are a very wonderful and caring person maybe it’s time to share all your awesomeness  with someone else , in my humble opinion I think Lexa might be that someone , she is been through hell and back she needs someone like you Clarke ,I can tell she is lost and wants someone by her side but she is too afraid to admit it ‘’ Raven took a deep breath before continuing ‘’Remind you of someone ?’’

 

Clarke was at lost for words , Raven was right she did knew her all too well ‘’ Ray , don’t you think I know that I feel this overwhelming urge to hug her and tell her everything is going to be fine  every time I lock eyes with her emerald eyes it’s like I knew her in another live I also know she needs a Doctor more than she needs a girlfriend right now’’ Clarke sighed defeatedly

 

A door opening cause their conversation to stop

 

Anya walked in and sat on the couch before meeting their gaze ‘’She is in her bed ‘’

 

Clarke didn’t even ask or hesitate before leaving the kitchen and going to Lexa’s bedroom , she knocked softly twice before entering and finding Lexa sleeping on her bed extremely close to the left side almost falling , under the bed was a trash can in case she felt like throwing up again , Clarke moved close tiptoeing to insure she won’t make any noise to wake Lexa , she pulled a chair and putted directly in front of Lexa , Lexa open one eye and looked at her with a lopsided smile

 

‘’Am I dreaming ‘’ Lexa said eyes blinking rapidly , ruubing at her eyes like her vision was blurry

 

‘’Is that what you think ?’’ Clarke smiled to herself she knew Lexa took two pain killers causing this incoherent state she’s currently in

 

‘’Well no , because I must say the screen quality is very low ‘’

 

‘’Am sorry ?’’

 

‘’You know dreaming is like you’re watching a movie but instead on HD quality screen am getting a shitty quality beside you people always see weird shit in their dreams so probably not  ‘’ Lexa smiled like what she just said made complete since

 

‘’Okay ‘’ Clarke had her lower lip between her teeth to stop her smile from showing

 

‘’You know Klarke , gaint squids is The coolest weirdest creature of the deep ‘’

 

Clarke couldn’t help it anymore Lexa was being so cute she let out a chuckle which made Lexa’s smile grow even wider, with still one open eye looking at the blonde Doctor she said ‘’You are beautiful Klarke ‘’

 

Clarke blushed at this and turned her gaze away from Lexa ‘’ Yeah right ‘’

 

Lexa lifted herself on her elbows to get a better look at the Doctor ‘’ Am serious Klarke ‘’

 

Clarke felt the butterflies in her stomach erupt by the way Lexa was saying her name , she never knew her name could sound so magically , she thought she would get everyone she knows to start saying her name this way , but damn it her name is sounding so magically because it was Lexa who was saying it , Lexa with her amazingly plump lips and unfairly sparkling  green eyes , doesn’t Lexa knew she is giving her a heart attack every time she says her name like this.

 

Lexa was still wondering why is she feeling so comfortable with someone she barley knows, maybe Clarke was one of those people who were easy to talk too , but if that was right was is she flirting with her , why is she hoping the Doctor would move from the chair and come lay down next to her most importantly why is she wishing the Doctor would here and now lean and kiss her lips , she shook her head .

 

‘’You know Doc , I never really got to tell you the story of what happen when I was undercover ‘’

 

‘’You don’t have to do that now ‘’ Clarke said knowingly fully well that Lexa might be high now and maybe when she wakes up in the morning she will be upset about what her high self shared

 

‘’I want too ‘’ she sighed ‘’ I was freshly out of the academy when I begged to get the assignment , I wanted to prove to everyone myself included that a rich spoiled girl  like me could be a good cup, I was above the starts when I get the all clear to go under cover , couldn’t be more happier , when I get the mission file that my way in was the target’s daughter I knew Kane helped because usually we go for the target or their son’s it’s unusual to go for the daughter you know what I mean , I was very thankful for that part .The part I didn’t like though was me going in as me Lexa Woods , they wanted me to pretend to be this crazy party girl who would do anything no matter how dangerous or _ILLEGAL_ to get a rush so that’s what I did , I’d wake up get dress go clubbing until I get shit faced or get into fights , it didn’t take long before I was invited to a secret vip club run by Cage Wallace ‘’ Lexa spoke the name with so much venom

 

‘’Cage was my target’s son his father company was under investigation by the FBI for illegal drug operation, Mount Weather pharmaceutical what a joke ‘’ she laughed humorlessly ‘’It turns out the company was just a front , everything you can find in the black market weapons, drugs , organs you name it the Company would provide it , they took over all the game in the city , they have judges , politician , business men, police officers all working for them , they were behind so many assassination it was unbelievable , Dante Wallace was untouchable ‘’

 

Clarke was listening to Lexa hanging to every word coming out of the brunette’s mouth , she didn’t fail to notice how Lexa hasn’t talked about her girlfriend at the time .

 

‘’I started going to Mount Weather club every day until I saw the right opportunity to talk to _her’’_

_Lexa was sitting at the far end of the bar watching her surrounding , eyes going everywhere in search for Costia , until she found the young woman in the middle of the dance floor being harassed by red head girl , they were dancing but it was clear Costia wasn’t enjoying herself , the girl had a death grip on her and kept grinding her front against Costia’s back , that was until one of the red hair girl hand’s moved up to cup Costia’s breast ._

_Lexa was quick to her feet , she pushed through sweaty bodies until she reached Costia , she put her hand on the girl’s waist and pushed her against herself leaning a bit and catching her lips , she moved back and was meet by a very surprised looking Costia she smiled to her before she turned her attention back to the red hair ,’’Thank you for entertaining my wife , am a lazy dancer so I thought my baby should have some fun while I grabbed us a table ‘’ Lexa’s voice was soft_

 

 

_‘’You can leave now ‘’ she said not sparing another look to the terrified red hair girl before she removed her attention back to Costia , and instead of the surprise look she was expecting , she was meet by a teasing one_

_‘’You’re wife ha ? ‘’ asked the honey brown eyes girl_

_‘’Sorry , was that too much ? it’s just I could tell you were uncomfortable and I ‘’she was cut by Costia laughing_

_‘’Don’t be silly , you saved me from that creep and you saved my boobs from being squashed , so do I get your name wifey or are we waiting for the honeymoon ?’’_

_Lexa rubbed her neck nervously ‘’Lexa , Lexa Woods ‘’ Lexa moved her hand out for a hand shake_

_‘’Costia Wallace ‘’ Costia smiled and instead of the hand shake she moved impossibly close next to Lexa and kissed her cheek before whispering ‘’You can save me anytime you want ‘’_

Lexa didn’t need to tell Clarke which her she was talking about she knew it was Costia , so she kept her mouth shut and kept listening to what Lexa was saying

 

‘’She ….’’ Lexa trailed for a minute ‘’At first I thought she was horrible just like her dad and father but she was’t , she was ..’’

 

Clarke could see how hard this was on Lexa so she did the only thing she could think off , she interlaced their hands and squeezed a little urging Lexa to continue

 

‘’She was kind , honest , very smart , breathtakingly beautiful with her honey brown eyes and coffee color hair , she was so smart in fact she figured me out after six month of our dating . But instead of turning me in to her family she promised to help me , she said she might have some access to her father black book , and we did it took us two years of working together to get everything we need to use against her dad , brother and Mount Weather , I promised her we would go away on a long holiday once we finish turning the evidence’’

 

‘’The thing that was never mentioned in my file that I fell for her , I loved her against my better judgment , we were going to get married , we had this dream of having a big familt , two boys , two girl a white picket fence with a dog and everything , I knew I shouldn’t have she was my way in , hell I was her handler but I couldn’t stop myself , god I promised I’d love her forever  isn’t that pathetic klarke ‘’ Lexa started feeling her tears gathering in her eyes as she continued her story

 

Clarke felt a pang in her chest watching Lexa , she looked very vulnerable and fragile ‘’It isn’t the heart wants what it wants Lexa , Love is Love ‘’ her hear was aching for this girl , she felt a sting in her eyes but she pushed it away trying to keep strong for the Lexa

 

‘’Yeah well our Love killed her ‘’ Lexa whispered in rough broken voice

 

‘’Lexa Am sure that’s not true ‘’ Clarke added her thumb rubbing Lexa’s knuckles to get the girl to relax , feeling the electricity ran through her body the moment her hand started moving against Lexa’s fingers , he eye was trained on Lexa to gauge her reaction but there was nothing except a shudder from the other girl

 

‘’You don’t know what happened ‘’

 

 

_Lexa was sitting in her apartment packing her luggage , she was so happy to start this new chapter of her life with Costia , they were going on a trip to Hawaii . finally after two years of hard work , secret life and so soo many lies , she was able to get Dante’s black book along with every route he uses to smuggle his shipment and now she get to go lay on a beach somewhere with Costia spending their vacation next to the beach sipping pina colada and working on their tan , finally she was able to breathe without looking behind her back . no more avoiding every dark alley or walking around with a gun strapped to her side, no more meeting and reports on the mission she was finally going to have some quality time with her girlfriend ._

_Suddenly there was a knock on the door pulling her out of her thoughts , she skipped to the door opening with a shit eating grin expecting whoever was at the door would probably  be her girlfriend , her smile faltered as soon as Costia was pushed in her arms and two men walked behind her closing the door behind them with guns in their hands , she recognized them immediately , the first was Cage his black eyes full of rage locking on her , the other had icy blue eyes and bright brown hair she knew him the man was Cage’s right hand man Carl Emerson , she heard Costia whimper in her arms drawing her attention back to her girlfriend , her eyes ran through the girl’s body checking for injuries , when she found nothing she sighed out of relived ‘’You are okay babe ‘’_

_Costia nodded her agreement ‘’Am okay ‘’ she said reassuring her girlfriend_

_‘’Well look who it is Detective Alexandria Woods ‘’  Cage snarled from his place in front of them pulling on an arm chair and sitting on it , Emerson stood behind him with his gun still pointing and the two woman sitting on the floor_

_‘’What they hell are you on about Cage , put the damn gun down before you hurt someone and let’s talk ‘’_

_‘’Nice try but maybe I do want to hurt someone , now pull a chair and sit ‘’ he throw some duck tape at Costia ‘’You know what to do ‘’_

_‘’Cage stop this ‘’ Costia pleaded_

_‘’Do it or I shoot your sweetheart in the head ‘’ he screamed at his sister_

_Costia’s eyes started to water as she tied Lexa with the duck tape ‘’Am sorry ‘’_

_Lexa smiled softly at her ‘’It’s okay ‘’_

_Emerson moved around the apartment looking for something , he trash the whole apartment coming back just a baseball bat in his hand ‘’There is nothing ‘’_

_‘’Okay Lexa you want to do this the easy way or the hard way . give me Dad’s black book ‘’_

_‘’I don’t know what you are talking about Cage ‘’ Lexa said trying to keep her nerves at bay_

_‘’I see , tell me Detective did my dear little sister here help you with delivering our heads to the cups ?’’_

_‘’Look I swear I don’t know what you are talking about , you know am not a cup , hell you know my family and everything about me ‘’_

_‘’I thought I did , that was before one of my spies in the Police Department tell me about your little undercover mission ‘’_

_‘’Cage I don’t know what you have heard but it’s not true , come on man you’ve known me for two years , you know am not a rat clearly someone is trying to set me up ‘’_

_Cage smiled sickly at her ‘’That’s what I said when Emerson told me about but then I saw you leaving the Police Department yesterday and an informer of mine told me the FBI issued a warrant to arrest all of us , except you ‘’’’and h course your girlfriend ‘’_

_‘’Cage am your sister , you don’t honestly believe I would do anything to out family or the company ‘’_

_Cage and Emerson burst out laughing at Costia’s pleads ‘’The only reason I haven’t hurt you is because you’re my sister , I can’t say the same thing about you bitch’’_

_Lexa was wrecking her brain trying to figure a way to get her out of this situation or at least escape , the look on Cage’s face told her the man means business also something bad might happen pretty soon if she doesn’t do something , she moved in her chair trying to stand up she thought maybe showing them she is not scared will help with believing her claims , although she knew it was close to impossible buy she has to try_

_‘’AH AH ‘’ Emerson shook his head ‘’sit down or else ‘’_

_‘’Or else what Emerson , you are going to shoot me , put the gun down before I shove it up your ass ‘’ her tone was commanding saying those words_

_Emerson looked up to Cage who gave him a nod , Emerson moved closer to her one hand holding a gun the other holding her baseball bat , she felt relieved when she saw the man putting his gun back at his holster , however it was shortly lived because the brute of a man hold the bat with both hands before letting the bat come down on Lexa’s knee , she heard a small crack before she felt the pain surge through her body letting a soft whimper of pain out of her lips_

_Costia was watching horrified as Emerson hit Lexa with a bat , she felt her stomach launch as she turned to the side and emptied her stomach’s content_

_Cage’s smile didn’t falter through the scene before him , ‘’So Lexa I think you choose the hard way ‘’ he nodded again and Emerson complied hitting her knee again , she bit her lip trying to keep herself from screaming while her nails dug half crescent moon into her palm , she lift her chin up refusing to show weakness ,when her eyes locked with Costia she gave the girl a small nod as if she wanted to tell her ‘am fine’_

_Cage was getting impatient ‘’Lexa I know you are a cup so cut the bullshit and tell me what do they have on us ‘’_

_Lexa felt no need to lie anymore , they already found out she was a cup and have confirm it from some dirty cup , damn it ‘’Suck my deck Cage am not giving you shit ‘’_

_‘’You stupid girl ‘’ he pulled out his gun and fired a warning shot into her shoulder ‘’Am not to be played with Lexa ‘’_

_Lexa gritted her teeth harder , she felt blood starting to come out of her shoulder , the pain was too much but there  was no way in hell she would give Cage what he wants ‘’Am not giving you shit , and why is Emerson doing all the work do you not have the balls to do it yourself , shame poor little Cage can’t do shit , he’s never going to be anything but a constellation prize for his mommy , probably you were the reason to cause her to flee the city ,Cage is  too scared to do anything by himself , fuck dude are you even a man , oh snap is that why your wife lift too , little Cage couldn’t keep it up ‘’ Lexa was in so much pain but she figured as long as she kept distracting the two man , the better her chance is for someone  hearing the screams and calling the cups or maybe she could get close enough to take one of the men’s gun , so she kept taunting Cage with everything she could think off , she knew the man had some kind of mommy issues_

_Cage was beyond furious , his eyes were comically wide his breathing coming shallow , he look like her might tear Lexa apart with all the hatred he has in his eyes ‘’ untie the bitch ‘’ he ordered Emerson , who did as he was ordered unsheathing a knife and cutting through the duck tape not caring when the knife cut through Lexa’s skin after he was done he pulled the chair right from under Lexa making her fall to the ground with a loud thud her head hitting the ground very hard_

_Cage lost it without any hesitation he brought his boots to Lexa’s ribs and stomach , kicking her repeatedly ‘’I don’t care about what you gave the cups bitch I want to hear you scream ‘’ he snarled_

_Lexa was waiting for this moment , she thought she could save some energy until Cage got close but the moment his boot hit her ribs she felt the air being sucked out of her lungs , she curled up at herself trying to stop Cage from doing more harm to her already aching ribs , she turned her back to the two men , eyes closed hoping for the pain to stop , she could hear screams coming from  Costia urging her brother to stop , only Costia’s screams and whimpers filled her ears as she felt her consciousness slip away_

_Cage saw Lexa clsong her eyes ‘’No this fast am not done with you ‘’ he took advantage of Lexa’s exposed back and unbuckled his belt , he raised his hand up ready to strik her again when a hand shot up to stop him_

_Costia stopped cage from whipping Lexa with his belt , she fell to her knees  in front of her brother her hands were holding one of his ‘’ I beg of you , leave her , let’s just go I’ll come with , I can give you all the money I have in my bank account just please stop hurting her , I’ll give you everything you want just please stop ‘’ she had a terrified look in her eyes , while her cheeks were damp with tears ._

_Cage meet his sister gaze and lift her up to stand , he then proceeded to push her to Emerson ‘’ you cause this , she is your girlfriend for fuck sake ‘’ he tyrned back to Lexa and started hitting her with all his might making her screams in agony and pain , he moved his foot to kick her in the face and that’s when it happened ._

_Lexa with a final surge of power grabbed onto Cage’s foot and pushed him to the ground , she took the chance of him being surprised and  punched him a few time making sure he was down , than she stood up on shaky legs eyes going to meet Costia ._

_Costia turned to Emerson and kicked him between his legs making the man fall to the ground before she ran to Lexa , she could see Lexa was struggling to keep herself up ‘’It’s okay , I got you ‘’she whispered sneaking one hand around Lexa to help her stay up ._

_Lexa smiled weakly at her and nodded her back was turned on the two men on the floor focusing only on Costia in front of her , she tried to move her hands to touch Costia cheek and wipe away her tears but she couldn’t , only one hand moved , she leaned in pushing her face into the girls neck and whispered ‘’I love you ‘’ she heard movement from behind but she wasn’t fast enough , she heard a gun click and a shoot but she felt nothing , she opened her eyes and found that Costia apparently saw what was going on and she managed to push herself in front of Lexa taking the bullet instead of her , Lexa looked up with fear in her eyes as Costia fell to the ground , she knelt before her girlfriend watching her with wide eyes ‘’what did you do ?’’_

_‘’What you have , done for me love ‘’ Costia replied_

_‘’COSTIA!!!’’ came the voice of distraught Cage registering that instead of shooting Lexa , he shot his sister ‘’Costia , Costia am sorry ‘’_

_‘’Costia baby stay with me everything is going to be okay ‘’ Lexa said_

_Cage was applying pressure to the wound on Costia’s chest , he was crying and looking at his sister with wide eyes_

_‘’She is an innocent , why did you do that ?’’ Lexa screamed_

_Costia squeezed her eyes before speaking with a law voice , body trembling ‘’None of us is innocent ‘’ with that she closed her eyes_

_‘’Noo!! Open your eyes , damn Costia open your fucking eyes ‘’ Lexa yelled feeling her heart breaking_

_Cage was looking at his sister’s lifeless body , he was frozen , no words were coming out of him_

_Lexa looked up noticing the gun that fell from him was lying at the ground next to her , without thinking twice she lifted the gun in her good hand and shot Cage point blank , she moved her gun to Emerson but she couldn’t find him , she dropped the gun on the floor and took held of Costia’s body screaming for her to open her eyes , she could hear the sirens when she started doing CPR ‘’Heard that baby , ambulance on the way , just hang on for a bit more , you can do it for me baby ‘’_

Lexa finished telling her story , her whole body was shaking with sobs , she felt all the energy leaving her body , her mind filled with the memories of that horrible day ‘’Do you get it now , Costia died because of her love for me , a love that I don’t even deserve ‘’

 

Clarke was full on crying now , she knew Lexa has been through tough shit , she just didn’t know it was this tough , she felt her heart break again for this amazing girl in front of her , the girl who had gone through so much and still wakes up every morning and wants to go back to the street to protect people , Lexa was admirable , she was brave and fearless and so strong at the same time she was delicate and fragile , Clarke knew then Lexa is very special not because she was crushing on her , Lexa was very special in general , in everything in every definition of that word and good did she just want to hug her and keep away all the bad things from her , true Clarke didn’t know Lexa very well or at all but she couldn’t help feel the protectiveness overwhelming her , her instinct telling her to take care of this girl no matter what , so she made a decision than , she stood up from her chair and moved closer to Lexa on the bed .

 

Lexa felt her sobs getting harder as she felt Clarke standing from the chair , she knew Clarke would leave as soon as she told her about what happened , she moved her face covering it with her below , she felt her billow dampen immediately with all the tears she had shed , she jumped a little feeling a hand playing with her hair .

 

Clarke laid next to Lexa and the bed playing with her hair before responding to what Lexa said before ‘’I think you deserve the world Lexa , and so so so much more , Love is totally between the thing you deserves ‘’

 

Lexa looked up sniffling ‘’Did you not hear the part about me shooting and killing an unarmed man ?’’Lexa asked curiously

 

 

‘’I did hear that so what , you had no idea what he would have done if you hadn’t shot him ‘’ Clarke said her hands stopped as she moved closer opening her hands to wrap them around Lexa .

 

Lexa felt so much safe and at peace when she felt Clarke’s arm wrap around her body , she snuggled closer to her , smelling the other girl shampoo gave her a weird since of comfort , it’s been so long since she had been touched like this or felt someone care for her enough to hold , she felt her body relax completely into Clarke’s arms , before a though crossed her mind making her move away ‘’Fuck Klarke am sick , I don’t want you to catch it too ‘’ she said worriedly

 

 

‘’I don’t care , I’ll hold you as long as you let me ‘’ Clarke said truthfully 

 

‘’Maybe forever cause you smile kind of awesome and your hands are keeping warm ‘’ Lexa admitted , the pain killers giving her the courage she grabbed Clarke’s shirt , pushing herself closer to the crack of Clarke’s neck

 

Clarke hugged Lexa  even tighter after she heard what she said , the two of them felt so calm and so at peace , it didn’t take them long to fall asleep , fitting against each other perfectly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what do you think ? is it too fast ? do you want to see Clexa more as a slow burn ? 
> 
> P.S thanks for all the kudos and feedback
> 
> p.s.s : if you would like to talk or ask about anything this is my tumblr @rubibd


	13. Only Human

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke's crush is overwhelming  
> Lexa takes the first step into her long journey of heeling  
> Clarke and Lexa have another heart to heart conversation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the kudos and comments they really do make my day 
> 
> Happy reading :)

Sun ray seeping through the window is what caused Clarke to wake up she opened her eyes and looked around to see what was causing the heavy feeling pressing on her chest and was surprised to find a mane of Brown hair all over her face , she was afraid for a second until the memories of last night came back to her , she relaxed fully not wanting to move or cause Lexa to wake up even though the other girl’s hair was tickling her , she looked out side the window and was mesmerized by the view .

 

 

The sun ray was reflecting on the sea surface , making it shine and sparkle like somehow it was filled with tiny shiny diamonds cascading all over the sea , it was a great view to wake up to , that and the gorgeous brunette sprawled on top of her with her mouth slightly open , the brunette began to stir up , her lips running over Clarke’s exposed neck , closing and opening with every breath she took, Clarke couldn’t help but stare at Lexa , the girl was adorably snoring lightly causing a flutter in Clarke’s heart  , in her sleep the girl looks so peaceful and relaxed so different from the girl from last night , the worried , concern frown was gone from Lexa’s face and was replaced by calmness  , no worry lines were visible any more , her face showing no signs of distress or discomfort which made Clarke smile happily that even though Lexa was still hunted by her past and all the monsters that came with it , she at least could sleep restfully , what made her ever happier is that it seemed Lexa was smiling in her sleeping state , she had on her lopsided smile that made Clarke’s heart flutter even more , Lexa’s unruly curly hair that smelled of flowers from last night’s late shower spreading everywhere on Clarke’s face inside her mouth over her neck tickling her like a light feather would do , and finally cascading over Clarke’s own pillow leaving Clarke with a perfect look at Lexa’s back without all her hair getting in the way , Clarke noticed the little brown  curls at the nape of Lexa’s neck but what got her attention was the infinity tattoo , she had to remind herself to stay still and not trace it with her finger tips ,this close to Lexa  she didn’t failed to notice how young she actually is , how tiny she looks now in her arms , her nose was pointing up , her sharp  jaw that could probably cut paper and her high cheek bone and her pink plump lips and not to mention her tiny cute little ears who Clarke felt this dying urge to pull into her mouth and suck on the earlobe .

 

 

Clarke shook her head , _stop you pervert she is your patient what the hell is going on with you , she just told you about her tragic story and how she lost her girlfriend and all you want to do is lean closer and trace every inch of her body with your tongue . STOP IT!!! ,get a grip Griffin , it’s just a crush that you can handle , now pull you head out of your ass and stop thinking about you PATIENT inappropriately , Lexa need you to be her Doctor not some fan girl with a stupid crush_ , her line of thought was cut short.

 

Lexa moved her knee in her sleep , unintentionally pressing it to Clarke’s center , before Clarke could stop herself a moan escaped her mouth , making Lexa’s eyes shoot up , Lexa in her sleep clouded mind lift herself on her elbows to look at where did the noise come from , she opened her eyes partially and was meet by the bluest eyes ever, those eyes that held so much emotions swirling in them , the color of those magnificent blue eyes that keeps changing according to lights , it was like who ever artist has created those eyes knew exactly what they were doing and Lexa felt she could probably write all kind of poems describing Clarke’s eyes , the eyes she was currently lost in  , she stared at Clarke’s eyes for what felt like infinity , Lexa moved again still unaware of the fact that he knee was even applying more pressure to Clarke’s center , she was in a trance , BUT was brought back from her daze by another moan coming from Clarke.

 

Clarke started to feel her cheeks burning with embarrassment , eyes wide with  shock about what she just did ‘’Oh god , am sorry , I , you’re . uh , I , your knee is kind of uh , pressing on me ‘’

 

Lexa frowned her brows in confusion, looking down at what was Clarke talking about, then realization hit her , making her eyes go wide, she moved her knees to  either side of Clarke’s to make sure she won’t make the girl anymore uncomfortable than she already is forgetting the crucial part that she is still on top of her and although she did take her knee off of Clarke now she was actually pressing her center to Clarke’s ‘’No , no am sorry ‘’ her words were spoken in a muffled voice because as soon as opened her mouth to speak a yawn left it , she rubbed at the back of her neck nervously avoiding eye contact

 

Clarke look of embarrassment turned to one of sheer amusement while she looked Lexa up and down , she moved her hand up to see if Lexa still had a fever and as soon as her hand touched Lexa’s forehead she felt the same familiar jolt of electricity coursing through her body .

 

Lexa still had her eyes locked on Clarke when she saw the blonde hand move to touch her , _she didn’t know what to think was Clarke going to play with her hair , was she going to be pushed off away from the Blonde , was Clarke reaching to hug her tight_ , all this thought ran through her mind until she felt Clarke hand rest on her forehead making her shudder under the touch , she sighed when the cold hand touched her warm clammy skin , eyes still on Clarke noticing the warm smile that was showing on the other girl’s lips , Lexa swallow past the sahaara dryness she felt in her mouth at the comforting touch , hear head for once clear and not chaotic by all the voices screaming at her reminding her of her guilt and past mistakes.

 

 

Lexa couldn’t help the feeling of being light this morning like somehow telling Clarke about what had happened all these months ago made it somehow some way ease the pain that was plaguing her  , the throbbing ache  in her chest had subsided and turned into a dull one, it was so much different from all morning she woke up to a bone crushing pain that resounded in her whole body , the guilt  that was eating her soul away was still there but it turned to just a whisper in the back of her head .

 

 

‘’You are hot’ Clarke says her hands on Lexa’s forehead , voice dripping with concern

 

Before Lexa knew it she was leaning to the cold hand but somehow warm  touch offered by Clarke , she looked at shinning pool of blues feeling the starts dance among them and let out a sigh not knowing what to say was _Clarke flirting with me_  ‘’Well thank you, I do think you’re hot too’’ _Damn it Lexa why did you have to say that , wait do I think Clarke hot , well I know she is but why is my stupid brain commenting on it_ she chastised herself

 

Clarke blushed at this before letting out a small chuckle ‘’No Lexa ,I mean you still have a fever ‘’ she stopped her chuckle the moment she saw how embarrassed Lexa had become ‘’Am sorry , I didn’t mean to laugh ‘’

 

 _Of course she wasn’t flirting with you , IDIOT_!! ‘’Am sorry too , you know am still half asleep and I have a fever as you can tell so please ignore my comment ‘’ Lexa said feeling uncertain , when Clarke told her she was hot she let it slip out that she thought she was hot too  she didn’t know Clarke was talking about her fever and she felt her temperature rise even more from her embarrassment .

 

 _Why are you so cute when you are embarrassed_ Clarke thought then shook her head to get her adolescent thoughts under control , _worst crush ever_

 

The two of them were stuck in their own thoughts both looking at the other’s eyes .

 

Thankfully their embarrassing moment was cut short by  a loud beeping coming from the kitchen , Lexa’s eyes widen before she jumped off of Clarke and stood on her feet next to the bed  ‘’Do you smell that ‘’ she failed to notice how Clarke’s eyes moved down staring widely at her exposed skin drinking her in  .Anya last night helped her to get into a black green boxer briefs and a black tank top , which now was displaying her bare tone legs , from her bare feet all the way to her mid thigh hugging her ass tightly and giving Clarke a little morning show

 

Clarke swallowed the lump that formed in her throat and ran her tongue over her lips as an  attempt to get over the dryness she felt in her mouth and tried to school her features before  scrunching  up her nose at the horrible smell that invaded her nostrils  ‘’Yeah , something is burning ‘’

 

They heard a loud whine coming from the kitchen and a lot louder curses , they look at each before they started sprinting out of the room and towards the commotion .

 

There in the middle of the kitchen stood Raven in her tank top and a boxer that had ‘’World’s sexiest mechanic’’ writing on the back ,she seemed to be holding a towel and fighting the smoke with it while spewing all kind of profanities .

 

‘’You are okay there Raven ?’’ Clarke asked wondering what the hell is her best friend doing

 

Raven snapped her head fast to see who was talking to her and then she looked  at both Lexa and Clarke with a pout on her face ‘’I burned them ‘’ when she saw the other two woman standing there with a total look of confusion she elaborated ‘’Pancakes I burned them , I wanted to cook breakfast for all of us but I burned them ‘’

 

Clarke and Lexa looked at each other barely holding back their laughter only to lose control when Raven started yelling at the stove and how it was the stove’s fault and not hers

 

‘’Am glad to see my misery is so much entertaining ‘’ she glared at them both

 

‘’Relax Raven , it’s okay we just need to crack a window or a ten  ‘’ Lexa said gaining back her composure and adding the last part as a whisper

 

Clarke was standing next to Lexa still when she asked ‘’Why are you cooking again ?‘’

 

‘’Right ‘’ Raven cleared her throat and looked at Lexa before averting her eyes ‘’Well you see , me and Anya have been talking and ..’’ Raven trailed off her nerves getting the better of her , she was nerves at telling Lexa she already said yes to Anya when she asked her to move in completely forgetting to talk to Lexa about it .

 

Anya walked into the kitchen rubbing her eyes completely unaffected by the smell , the smoke or the fire alarm beeping , she had on a lazy smile while she walked to Raven wrapping her hands from behind and leaned her head  on Raven’s shoulder leaving a kiss there ‘’Good morning babe ‘’

 

‘’uhumm ‘’Lexa cleared her throat drawing Anya’s attention to her

 

Anya tuned her head to Lexa and Clarke with a smile ‘’hey Lex ‘’ ‘’Clarke ‘’ she nodded her greeting , she let go of Raven and took an apple from the kitchen counter , she sensed her girlfriend alarmed eyes and asked ‘’What wrong ?‘’

 

‘’Nothing ‘’ Raven hurriedly answered

 

‘’Yeah Raven just almost burned our kitchen but that’s nothing ‘’Lexa said in a teasing tone

 

Raven’s eyes widen her heart came to a stop at Anya’s next words ‘’Well it’s her kitchen too now , she’s moving in ‘’Anya said with a shrug while kept eating her apple

 

‘’Surprise ‘’ Raven smiled nervously ‘’I wanted to make pancake before we talked about it _AND_ ask you what you think before I moved in ‘’ she said and jabbed Anya in her ribs ‘’Am sorry Lexa , Anya was suppose to tell you about this ‘’

 

Lexa smiled softly meeting Raven’s gaze ‘’It’s okay , it’s Anya’s house too there is no need to ask me , but if you wanted my approval than sure , you are more than welcome to move in ‘’

 

‘’Say , didn’t the two  of you hear the meaning of pants , not complaining or anything  but why are you walking around in your boxers ?’’ Anya questioned gesturing between Lexa and Raven

 

Lexa was confused until she looked down and saw exactly what was Anya talking about , she was still in her dark green boxer brief , she felt embarrassment washing over her _, Damn it’s like these days all she does is be embarrassed_  and that was when she heard Anya continued

 

‘’Clarke did you enjoy sleeping last night , I prepared the guest room for you but apparently Lexa’s _BED_ is so much more comfortable ‘’ Anya smirked at the look her cousin was giving her

 

Lexa opened her mouth to answered but closed it shut , not knowing what to say she looked like a fish out of water

 

‘’Well I am a Doctor and Lexa was sick yesterday , she still is by the way she has a fever ‘’ Clarke said with so much convection it surprised Lexa

 

‘’Oh I see , is that why Lexa was sleeping on top of you ‘’ Raven added joining her girlfriend teasing ‘’Don’t even try to lie to me about it , I saw you when I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water and came to check on Lexa ‘’ Raven waved her finger threateningly in Clarke’s direction

 

‘’I , I , uh ‘’ Clarke now have the same expression Lexa has , all sings of confident long gone and was replaced by a fierce blush covering her cheeks and neck

 

Anya doubled back from laughing which was more like howling at the look both Clarke and Lexa were giving them ‘’Busted ‘’ she said amused

 

Lexa quirked her eyebrows at both Raven and Anya before saying ‘’One more word , just say one more word and see what happens , oh and keep in mind I have access to you tooth brush ‘’ she gave them a death glare

 

Clarke spoke from next to her encouragingly  ‘’And you have a gun ‘’

 

Raven lifted her arms in mock surrender ‘’Okay , we were just messing around with you guys no need to be so serious ‘’ she turned to her girlfriend ‘’Yeah baby ‘’  demanding an answer

 

‘’Yeah , yeah ‘’ Anya said with a board tone ‘’None of you are fun in the morning ‘’

 

‘’Well  you know what could be fun ? ‘’Raven questioned with a devious look ‘’helping me to move my stuff  ‘’

 

‘’I see how it is you want to trick us into doing hard labor ‘’ Clarke added teasingly , rising an eyebrow at Raven

 

‘’Yes , please , I already have all my boxes ready , just need some help moving them ‘’ Raven looked with hopeful eyes

 

‘’Sure thing Raven , we can do that after breakfast or until we put some decent cloth on  ‘’ Lexa spoke offering her help immediately

 

‘’AH , No you are not ‘’ Clarke said with a serious tone interrupting Lexa from walking away

 

‘’Excuse me ? ‘’ Lexa asked confused  

 

‘’I said you are not helping , you could come with us if you want but no heavy lifting ‘’ Clarke was using her Doctor’s voice

 

‘’And why is that ‘’ Lexa asked with a bite in her voice , her chin high and her eyebrow furrowed

 

‘’Lexa ‘’ Clarke sighed ‘’Look you have an inflamed tendons in you left shoulder , you should not put any pressure on it or use if for that matter , in fact you should be wearing a sling to reduce some of the pain you must be feeling ‘’

 

 

Lexa rolled her eyes to try to hide the discomfort she felt , she didn’t want anyone to know about her shoulder and now Clarke just told both Anya and Raven like it was nothing , she felt her nerves kick in and her anger rise , it was not Clarke’s decision to share this with anyone she clenched her jaw before she took a deep breath , true she hated being outed like this but she also knew that Anya must have seen it yesterday when she was giving her that obnoxious cold shower , she also couldn’t help but think if Clarke was this easy to share about her injuries , what else could she share with others , does she talk to Kane about their session ‘’You are exaggerating don’t you think _Doctor_ Griffin  ‘’ she emphasized the word Doctor with a coldness in her voice , her eyes hardened and her façade up , she knew it was a bit much but her mind was racing with a stupid idea after a stupid idea

 

‘’Maybe you should Listen to the Doctor Lex , I think she knows what she is talking about ‘’

 

‘’I said am fine ‘’ she said as she turned around and headed to her room ‘’Am going to go put some cloth on  ‘’

 

Clarke was surprised with Lexa’s attitude one moment they were all messing around laughing with each other and the other Lexa shut down completely , her cold façade back in place , what the hell happened to make her go through this change , was it something I did , or Anya . she wracked her mind thinking of what could have been the reason for the sudden change in Lexa but couldn’t figure it out .

 

Anya saw her cousin’s change of attitude and knew exactly what was about , she turned her gaze to a stunned looking Clarke who still has her eyes on the same direction Lexa went and she neared closer to her ‘’it’s okay , you didn’t do anything wrong Lexa just don’t like being seen weak ‘’

 

Clarke shook her head ‘’She is not weak , she is hurt Anya , am sure you saw her shoulder yesterday , it looked pretty bad and am sure the pain is worst I honestly have no idea how is she handling this much pain ‘’

 

‘’She is stubborn like that , and I know but she doesn’t listen to anyone , she’s been like that ever since we were kids ,she thinks talking about her feelings or admitting she’s  hurt is a weakness ‘’

 

‘’She is so stubborn it’s  driving me crazy ‘’ Clarke huffed running a hand over her hair and pushing it away from her face

 

‘’That could be a good thing Doc , I remember when Raven used to make me feel that  ‘’ Anya winked ‘’Now go talk to her while I make breakfast can’t leave Raven alone , the woman is a genius but can’t cook for shit ‘’ with that she moved back to the stove next to Raven .

 

 

Clarke took a deep breath and walked through the hallway to Lexa’s room she knocked twice before entering , she saw Lexa laying back in her bed with one hand draped over her eyes ‘’Hey , can I come in ?‘’ she asked politely

 

‘’yeah ‘’ Lexa answered from her place on the bed without moving her hand

 

‘’Are you ok ?’’  Clarke asked noticing how cold Lexa is treating her

 

‘’Yes‘’

 

The one word answer was starting to get on Clarke nerves ‘’Okay Lexa what is it , I know there is something bothering you so just let it out ‘’When Clarke didn’t hear anything from Lexa she continued ‘’You know am not a therapist  for nothing , you can tell me anything ‘’

 

‘’Can I ?’’ Lexa quipped back

 

‘’Of course you can , you know you can trust me , everything you tell me is confidential even if we are not at the clinic ‘’

 

‘’If that’s so why did you talked about my shoulder in front of Raven and Anya , it was none of their business it’s not even yours so why did you talk about it ‘’

 

Clarke was trying to read Lexa’s expression but she couldn’t , do to the fact she still has a hand covering her eyes ‘’IS this why you are acting this way ? because I said you need to rest your shoulder in front of Anya and Raven ?’’

 

‘’Am not acting like anything I just don’t see how it’s any of their business , and if you are this fast to share with them what else have you shared ? ‘’ Lexa removed her hand and was now glaring at Clarke waiting for an answer , she knew she was acting like an idiot but the thing is she felt scared after what she shared with Clarke last night and a part of her wanted Clarke to assures her she won’t tell anyone without needing to ask it directly , the other part of her was screaming at her that she could trust Clarke and it scared her even more .

 

Clarke could finally see Lexa’s eyes and in them she understood what all this is about , she saw fear , concern , guilt she also found those amazing emerald greens pleading as if saying , _please don’t tell anyone about what I entrusted you with yesterday , it was hard enough for me to talk about it and I don’t want anyone else asking me what else happened at that awful day ._

 

Clarke was now sitting on the bed next to Lexa’s leg, she moved her hand and squeezed Lexa’s knee as if saying , _I would never do that to you_  she spoke then ‘’Am sorry but  I told them because I care about you and don’t want to see you hurt neither is Anya or Raven ‘’ Clarke said like it was the most obvious thing in the world

 

Lexa sighed , she felt warmth spread all through her body from were Clarke touched her  and Clarke words were ringing  in her ears _I care about you_   , ‘’Am sorry , I just …..’’ she trailed off a bit before continuing , she deicded to tell Clarke what was really on her mind ‘’Yesterday I told you about ….well about _HER_ and I ….’’

 

Clarke cut her off ‘’No need to worry I would never share what you told me yesterday to anyone ‘’  she didn’t need any clarification about which _her_ Lexa was talking about , she knew it was Costia

 

 

Lexa was stuck in her thoughts , _why am i feeling like this_ , there is something inside of her a part she thought died alongside with Costia but now it seems she was mistaken , she felt a flutter in her stomach , true it was small but it was there , like a promise of maybe someday she and Clarke can be something , she doesn’t know exactly what , she just know she feels this flutter every time Clarke’s touch her like her body is urging her to have more of Clarke’s touch . she sighed deeply before moving her hand over Clarke’s , it was just a brush before she said ‘’I do trust you Klarke ‘’ she spoke in a soft voice

 

‘’Thank you , I know how hard this is  for you ‘’Clarke spoke In a raspy voice she was so infected by the way  Lexa spoke her name

 

Suddenly her bedroom door burst open and in walk Anya with a smug face ‘’Come on weirdos breakfast is ready ‘’

 

Lexa grunted before moving up she looked up and saw Clarke’s offering her a hand to help her with a smile plastered on her face , she took it immediately and the three women walk back to the kitchen , Lexa’s thoughts still lingering about the way Clarke makes her feel things again

 

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The four women get out of their cars as soon as they parked at Clarke’s building , Raven said she left a few stuff at Clarke and wanted to bring them with her to hers and Anya’s apartment as soon as they opened the door they were meet by aloud moan and groan , they opened the door wider and saw , Octavia and Lincoln making out heavily on the kitchen counter

 

‘’What is it with you Woods and kitchen counters ‘’ Raven quipped making the two couple stop their movement and look at her with a total shock on their faces , Octavia was topless only wearing a bra with her sweat pants , while Lincoln’s pants have a few undone buttons

 

‘’Honestly Linc between you and Anya I have to start invest in a bleach company just to be able to remove all the images from my eyes and brain ‘’Lexa said in a wincing voice , disgust showing on her feature

 

‘’Pfff Alexandria I swear you are turning into a prude , but hey maybe investing in a bleach is better than spending all your money on god damn Candles ‘’ Anya declared

 

‘’Leave me and my candles out of it  , we just walked in on Lincoln and his girlfriend why don’t you tease him instead of me ‘’

 

Lincoln and Octavia were having a moment a moment of silence for their shredded dignity , too embarrassed to do anything but stare with wide eyes at the four other intruders .

 

‘’I think it would be a great idea if you put your shirt back on Octavia ‘’ Clarke joined the teasing , really anything to take the attention from herself and Lexa

 

‘’Wait , Lincoln is your cousin too ?’’ she asked Lexa

 

‘’Geez blondie everyone would think sharing a last name is already a confirmation , you are not too bright are you ?’’ Anya apparently getting bored with teasing Octavia and Lincoln and decided to go back to teasing Clarke .

 

‘’Anya stop being such an ass ‘’ Lexa said disapprovingly

 

Finally after countless minutes of teasing and horrible puns and dirty jokes mostly from Anya and Raven , all of them got into a rhythm , packing Raven’s stuff into boxes and dividing all the work between all the six of them.

 

‘’So what are we going to do for the police department fund rising ‘ ’Licoln spoke

 

‘’Dad said we are having it at the ranch in Polis ‘’ Lexa hummed

 

‘’You are going too right Clarke ?’’ Octavia asked her friend

 

‘’Yeah Marcus already told me and my mom has been reminding me every day ‘’ Clarke huffed

 

‘’Maybe we can all go together ‘’ Anya offered

 

‘’YES !!! that would be a great idea and that way you could hang with Lexa and stop bitching about how you are always the fifth wheel ‘’ Raven agreed with her girlfriend

 

‘’Thanks a lot Ray ‘’ Clarke raised an eyebrow at her friend annoyingly

 

‘’Yeah that would be soooo cool we could be like the six musketeers ‘’ Octavia exclaimed excitedly

 

‘’Dude totally not a real think but I like what you’re thinking ‘’ Raven commented

 

‘’Dude’’ Octavia mocked Raven’s voice ‘’Stop being such a douche , you don’t need to give us the genius speech every day ‘’

 

‘’Well I am a genius and you’re just jealous because you are not ‘’ Raven retorted with a teasing tone wiggling her eyebrows at Octavia

 

Octavia gasped before she stood and made her way over to Raven ‘’Take it back Reyes ‘’ she threatened

 

‘’Or what ?’’ Raven said challengingly

 

‘’Calm down you two ‘’Clarke said as she walked inside the room holding tow huge boxes that were covering her line of sight

 

Raven smirked at Octavia not knowing she was hiding a couch cushion behind her back , the moment she shift her gaze back to what she was doing she felt the pillow hit her with so much force causing her to fall back on the floor with her legs stretching out in front of her.

 

Lexa was done with packing up , according to Clarke she was not allowed to help with the moving only the packing , she was getting thirsty and decided to go have a glass of water when she saw Raven sprawled on the floor cursing a smirking Octavia , while Clarke was coming from the other room with two boxes in her hand , when she saw Clarke tripping over Raven’s leg her instinct took over and was in front of her in a blink of an eye , the thing was she was a bit late and couldn’t get her footing right which caused her to fall backwards when Clarke collided with her , she wrapped her hands tightly around Clarke not wanting her to get hurt and hit the ground with a loud _THUD_ causing the searing pain in her shoulder to spread all through her body

 

Clarke holding the boxes didn’t see Raven’s sprawled legs or Lexa coming from the other side , soon enough she felt herself tripping over Raven’s legs , the boxes in her hands flying , she squeezed her eyes shot preparing for the pain when she hits the floor but it never came , instead she flow over a warm body and felt a tight hands wrap around her before she heard a loud _thud_ , when she didn’t feel any pain she opened her eyes and saw Lexa’s face that was scrunched up in pain , her hands shout up immediately to Lexa’s head checking for any bumps ‘’Oh my god are you okay ‘’ when Lexa didn’t open her eyes she felt even more worried ,she moved her hands to cup the other girl cheeks ‘’Lexa, Oh god please open your eyes ‘’

 

Clarke’s breath hitched as soon as Lexa opened her eyes , forest green meet sky blue and in that moment Clarke forgot to breath , her finger moved over the girl’s cheek bone with a tender ad careful touch , her mind was blank from the intensity of those eyes who were staring right back at her , the two of them were stuck in their own world until they felt everyone rush in to check on them.

 

‘’Clarke am so sorry ‘’ Raven said ‘’ are you ok? Is Lexa okay ?’’ her eyes moving from Clarke to Lexa then back

 

The two kept their eyes locked like they were the only two people in the room , Lexa tilted her head while Clarke leaned forward , their lips were a hair a part from each other

 

‘’Yo this is not a Rom Com , stop the eye fucking and get your lazy asses back to work ‘’Anya said from somewhere behind them causing them to jump apart

 

‘’Worst cousin ever ‘’ Lexa whispered under her breath

 

Clarke put her hand out to help Lexa up ‘’Are you okay ?’’ she repeated her question to Lexa with her eyes roaming the girl’s face for any visible injuries

 

‘’Am okay Clarke ‘’ when Clarke’s eyes still  showed concern Lexa continued ‘’Look am fine it’s nothing , I’ve been tackled to the ground multiple times on the job , it’s really fine stop worrying ‘’ she squeezed Clarke hand to reassure her .

 

‘’Okay ‘’ Clarke moved to another room followed closely by Raven and Octavia

 

‘’What was that ?’’ Octavia asked

 

‘’What was what ?’’ Clarke replied although she knew exactly what Octavia was asking her about

 

‘’What I just saw , you and Lexa , don’t even try to lie to me Clarke I saw you , you two were going to kiss if Anya hadn’t interrupted ‘’

 

Raven smiled widely and added ‘’It’s not even the best part O!! , Lexa is and I quote ‘the patient with eyes that look inside of her soul ‘ ‘’

 

‘’She is what !!!’’ Octavia all but screamed

 

‘’Keep it down will you ,they can hear you ‘’ Clarke hissed ‘’I knew I would regret saying that in front of you two idiots ‘’

 

‘’Okay seriously that is the greatest thing ever, me and Linc , Raven and Anya , now you and Lexa , and you two look so cute ‘’ Octavia squealed

 

Clarke face palmed ‘’No O, there is no me and Lexa , she is my patient’s and that’s that ‘’ she tried to convince her friend although she wasn’t even convinced herself

 

‘’Yeah whatever Clarkey , you were two seconds away from making out with her ‘’ Raven added she faked coughed ‘’eye fucking’’

 

‘’Yeah Clarke , stop with the bull shit I can see all the heart eyes you were giving each other ‘’

 

‘’Okay no more talking about this , don’t you have like some shit to pack Raven ‘’ Clarke said pushing her friends away

 

‘’yeah , Yeah but this conversation isn’t over ‘’ Raven said narrowing her eyes at Clarke

 

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As soon as they three friend walked into another room , Lexa found herself surrounded with her two cousins

 

‘’Okay what’s going on Lex spill ‘’ Lincoln acquired , when Lexa sighed and made a move to to stand he grabbed her wrist ‘’You and Clarke , what’s going on ?’’

 

‘’Oh haven’t you heard , out blonde Doctor is Lexa’s new Doctor and possible new bo ‘’ Anya answered for Lexa

 

‘’Seriously Anya  ‘’ Lexa looked un impressed and already bored of this conversation , but mostly she was just avoiding because she doesn’t know what to say about Clarke

 

‘’Yes seriously Lexa and don’t give me any of your bullshit , you are so obvious with your heart eyes , you can’t fool anyone ‘’

 

‘’There is no heart …. ‘’ Lexa wanted to say she doesn’t but out of nowhere Clarke walked back in the room causing  a goofy smile to spread across Lexa’s face which didn’t go un notice by both of her cousins

 

‘’Careful Lex your gayness is showing ‘’ Anya said with a way too amused tone making Lincoln chuckle

 

‘’I hate you both ‘’ Lexa groaned before walking to another room , when she looked around though she was meet by paintings and canvases , colors and paint brushes , everything an artist needs, some paintings were on the floor , some with very dark colors and others with very bright colors , she knew exactly who made them do to her last conversation with Clarke in her clinic she found out that the young Doctor has a talent for arts which didn’t exactly surprise her , Clarke herself was a piece of art

 

She moved around the room and saw a few pictures , one in particular caught her attention , it was at a camping sight with a 13 year old Clarke holding a telescope and smiling widely to an older man , she knew immediately the man was Clarke’s father , they share the same warm blue eyes , it brought a smile to her face to see how happy Clarke looked in the picture , a voice from behind her caused her to jump and put her hand on her heart to stop it from racing .

 

‘’The picture was taken at my 13th birthday , it was one of the best birthdays I ever had ‘’ Clarke had a warm smile on and spoke in soft voice like she was living the memory of that again

 

‘’Am sorry , I didn’t mean to intrude ‘’ Lexa hurriedly said

 

Clarke waved her off ‘’Stop apologizing , besides the picture is on my bed stand on a perfect display ‘’

 

‘’So um , I have to say your paintings are brilliant , they show so much emotion ‘’ Lexa spoke confidently

 

Clarke blushed at the compliment ‘’Thank you ‘’

 

‘’Can I ask why did you become a therapist instead of studying art , I mean you clearly are very talented ‘’ Lexa looked at Clarke and saw her expression turn into a sad one ‘’You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want too ‘’ she really didn’t want to remind  Clarke of anything hurtful or sad

 

Clarke patted the place next to her on bed beckoning Lexa to come and join her , when she felt the bed dip and Lexa’s knee bumping with hers she spoke up ‘’I already told you I lost my dad in a young age , the part I didn’t mention that it was so sudden , I lost him in a car accident and when I got the call I immediately went to the hospital running , the thing is to me dad was invincible I never thought I would lose him , like some how he would live forever you know ‘’ she looked at Lexa and saw the same sad eyes she was sure she was mirroring , Lexa nodded for her to continue

 

‘’I had all this dream with him , he was supposed to be at my graduating , walk me down the aisle on my wedding , he was suppose to see my kids and play with them in the back ground ,he was suppose to be with me throw every big step I take in my life . I never thought I wouldn’t get those things with him , so when I got there and saw my mum leaving the operation room with tears running down her cheeks , my whole world broke , every dream everything  in me shattered to a million pieces , I couldn’t get why the world was so cruel , why would it take my father from me , the day after his funeral I felt like I buried myself with him , a part of me did die on that day I think .When I went back to my room I locked my door and cried for days but it didn’t feel enough , all the tears I shed for him were not enough , I stopped talking to my and blamed her for his death which now I know it wasn’t her fault but back then it all I could really do , I blamed mum , the other driver , the ambulance who took too long to get him to the hospital , I blamed even myself , I locked myself and I never wanted to face the rest of the world , I would stay In my bed for days doing nothing , not speaking , not eating , my mom got really worried and talked to one of her colleagues in the hospital , a therapist called Nyko , the man was a huge teddy bear who figured out I have depression ‘’ Clarke smiled weakly through her tears

 

‘’You know it wasn’t easy and it took a lot of time but then one day I woke up to find my heart was starting to heal to move on , and I decided I would honor my dad’s name and show him I could the strong woman who raised me to be , so when it was time to go to college I decided to study psychology and maybe someday be able to help someone who went through the same thing I did , you see my dad will always stay with me and in my heart and I want to make him proud of me , gone but never forgotten , the best way to honor someone’s memory is to keep living ‘’ Clarke felt soft  slender fingers on her cheeks wiping her tears away , she looked up to see Lexa’s eyes were even more intense than usual if that’s even possible

 

Lexa felt her hard break for the young Doctor she could feel her pain , she also felt so much respect and admiration , without thinking about it she closed her eyes and  leaned her head attaching her plump lips to Clarke’s ample lips , she heard Clarke take a shuddering breathe before their lips moved against each other, it was a tender gentle kiss spoke of mutual pain and understanding , spoke of promise for the future her hand wrapped around Clarke , like it was somehow muscle memory , Lexa tilted her head to deepen the kiss but was stopped by hands pushing against her chest carefully , she opened her eyes to ask what was wrong but Clarke beat her to it

 

‘’We can’t , I can’t you are my patient ‘’ Clarke spoke in a whisper though her voice didn’t sound convincing at all

 

‘’I understand ‘’ Lexa tried to show no  disappointment in her voice but it was too apparent

 

There moment was broken when Anya walked in to the room ,and took a hold of Lexa’s hand dragging her out with her ‘’Come on we are done , I want to grab some lunch before my blood sugar drop ‘’

 

Clarke stood behind watching the two woman walking out of the room , she wiped any remaining tears but stopped to touch  her lips , it felt so amazing , so right to kiss Lexa , she wanted to deepen the kiss but a voice in her head reminded her how inappropriate that would be , Lexa was vulnerable and lost her girlfriend a couple of month ago , she wasn’t sure if Lexa truly felt anything for her or if it was the spur of the moment  she only knew she hasn’t yet moved on from what happened to her , and grief could sometimes cause misguided actionsalso Lexa is her patient and was finally showing signs of trusting her , she can’t go around and ruin that trust , maybe Lexa confused her trust for Clarke to something else but she knew she would do anything to never lose Lexa’s trust and show her she is worth the trust given to her even if it meant to break her heart in the process .

 

Her phone ringing is what broke her thoughts ‘’Hey Harper’’

 

‘ _’Hey Clarke , everything ok_?’’

 

‘’Yeah , you ?’’

 

‘ _’Yeah , just wanted to remind you about the appointment tomorrow , we have a new patient coming in ‘’_

 

‘’Mr. Toby Levins right ?’’

‘ _’Yup that’s the one_ ‘’

 

‘’Alright Harp , thank you , see you Tomorrow ‘’

 

_‘’See you , bye’’_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to have a chat come find me on Tumblr : @rubibd
> 
> Also am still looking for a beta but can't seem to find one , Is any of you kind people interseted ?


	14. Maybe One Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa is confused about her feelings  
> Clarke's resolve is breaking   
> we see a glimpse of carefree Lexa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: there is some violence in the flash back
> 
> Happy reading :)

Lexa was stirring and turning she couldn’t sleep, it was becoming a common thing for her, every time she put her head on her pillow every little wrong thing she did or bad decision she ever made would come back to hunt her preventing her from sleeping, she sighed for what felt the hundredth time this evening, her thoughts seemingly stuck at the events from couple of weeks ago, more particularly on how she kissed Clarke. She didn’t know what came over her one minute she was listening to Clarke talk about her father making her heart ache for her, the other minutes she was connecting their lips together , and getting lost in the contact . The thing that puzzled Lexa is how right it felt

 

She didn’t feel guilty about the fact she was kissing Clarke, the thing is It has not been too long since she kissed Niylah and had a complete and total break down about it but kissing Clarke was different , when her lips touched Clarke’s she felt all her nerve ending spark with electricity , her whole body was on fire but everything was cut short by Clarke’s rejection . If kissing Niylah was a moment of weakness kissing Clarke had been a moment of strength , While Niylah’s lips felt so strange and unfamiliar against hers ,  Clarke’s lips felt like she has been kissing them for decades , while kissing Niylah felt suffocating kissing Clarke felt so relieving like somehow she’s been under water and was finally  able to swim to the surface and breathe again, but all that wasn’t important because Clarke stopped the kiss.  Clarke didn’t want her , Clarke didn’t feel the connection Lexa felt , maybe it was all in her head when she felt Clarke kissing her back , was she reading the signs wrong .Maybe just maybe Clarke knows they are probably too different to make it work. Besides she did promise Costia to wait for her even if she knows she is never coming back

 

 

Truth be told she is not over Costia’s death , her feeling are confused but there is something she can’t explain that draws her to Clarke , she knew Clarke is her Doctor and can’t have a crush on her but she can’t seem to convince herself to stop, and much to her dismay her sessions with Clarke has been extra awkward , they both avoid talking about what happened and what did the kiss they shared  mean

 

She turns on her back and starts staring at the ceiling , things at work aren’t going great either she is losing her temper more and more  everyone is starting to notice , even Anya talked to her about it after that incident couple of days ago , when  they caught a guy trying to kidnap a 18 year old girl .

 

The guy was smirking all through his interrogation , even after they throw all the evidence in his face , he kept repeating how the girl was looking dizzy and he offered her a drive home to help her out , it was true when they tested the girl’s blood they found a large amount of sedative , and after asking the girl she told them the guy had injected her with something and was dragging her back to his car without consent, Lexa felt her heart breaking for the terrified girl and the distraught look on her face , the girl hugged Lexa so tight when she was giving her statement and cried for what felt like hours , Lexa felt her anger rise with every passing moment. She was just happy that a patrol car found them when the girl was getting pushed into the car and brought her back to the station along with the guy she was with , it took all herself control not to strangle him with her bare hands or punch him until she wipes that smug look on his face .

 

Lexa kept her cool until the guy started taunting the police about how they are not good for anything and if they don’t let him go he was going to file a lawsuit against them , he even have the audacity to critic the girl’s cloth

 

Flash back

_Lexa was behind the glass in the interrogating room watching silently as the guy Dax kept bitching about how he was innocent and the cops are just after him because of his family connection to gangs and how they fabricated the whole thing , she had her arms crossed over her chest trapping them under her armpits to make sure she won’t do anything stupid in the spur of the moment like shot this motherfucker she kept her breathing slow.  She looked very calm to the other officers and detectives but on the inside she was screaming to get in that room and hit the crap out of this guy , what tipped her over though was the guy’s lawyer sweeping in and demanding to let his client out , saying how they don’t have any evidence backing their assumption of Dax actually  being the one who gave the girl the drugs ._

_She turned to face Kane who was standing on her right with his jaw clenched and said in the most calm tone she could muster ‘’Do you think I can have a ward with him Captain ‘’_

_‘’Be my guest , just be careful he is a slick one  you can try and see if we can catch him in a lie ‘’ Kane spoke thoughtfully_

_‘’Okay ‘’ she nodded before she left and walked down the hallway with an idea in her mind.  She knew she has to manipulate him into criminating himself ,maybe pretend like she is on his side. Before she entered the interrogation room she knocked on the door three times. The door immediately open showing a very angry Anya ‘’Mind if I tag in ‘’ she asked Anya_

_‘’Good thing you are here this asshole is getting on my last nerve and we don’t have much time his lawyer is her demanding to be released ‘’ Anya huffed_

_Lexa walked inside the room , her eyes falling to the smirking guy who was checking her up and down before he licked his lips , she seems to get his attention ‘’Wow , is it just me or you two are the hottest Detectives I ever laid my eyes on ‘’ He whistle giving her a look over again_

_Lexa raised her eyebrow at him before she looked at Anya ‘’Hey do you mind getting me a cup of coffee ‘’she said her voice taking a more authoritative tone_

_‘’Sure thing ‘’ Anya left the room with that she knew by the look in Lexa’s eyes that she was planning something_

_Lexa stepped next to the door locking it on the inside before she walked to where the camera was and shutting it off she turned around and  saw the guy was squirming uncomfortably in his seat_

_She pulled the chair in front of him and sat looking directly into his eyes ‘’So ‘’ she said while pulling her long sleeves up to her elbows , the guy gulped before asking ‘’Yes Detective , I , uh why did you turn off the Camera and lock the door ?’’_

_She smirked in satisfaction seeing how shaken he had become ‘’I wanted to have a more private conversation with you‘’_

_The guy started looking around his joker façade totally gone his eyes stuck on the door like he somehow hope it would magically open and someone will come in to help him ._

_Lexa smiled although her eyes were icy as ever. Her chin up high, her gaze so scary and cold the guy in front of her locked pale. He got even paler when Lexa put her booted feet on the desk and took her gun out of its holster ‘’So Dax , want to tell me what happened?’’_

_‘’I was on my way home and found the girl trying to walk but failing so I thought I would offer her some help’’ his eyes widen at the sound of Lexa taking the safety off on her gun_

_‘’Dude come on, don’t keep all the details for yourself. It’s a safe place I already turned off the camera and mics so stop sweating ‘’ Lexa decided to start her plan seeing the guy already looks like he was going to shit his pants_

_‘’Excuse me?’’ He asked in bewilderment_

_‘’Okay fine I’ll start. In my day we use to get all the drugs from the place in the alley behind the Dropship. That placed had everything you want and the best quality too’’  she faked a smile_

_His eyes lit up completely believing her story ‘’Yeah me and my friends still go there Detective, It’s still the it place’’_

_‘’Please call my Alexandria, or Woods ‘’_

_Dax’s jaw dropped to the floor ‘’Wait you’re the infamous Lexa Woods?’’_

_‘’Yup, That would be me‘’ she balled her fists under the table to try to hide her disgust but she knew she did pick a bad reputation over the two years she worked undercover so she might as well use it._

_She had to do all this partying and illegal shit to keep up with appearance which she wasn’t very proud of.  In fact it was the worst thing she had to do while undercover, Her family name didn’t help either. Being a Woods meant she was in the spot light 24/7 . The tabloids were on her from the minute she leaves her apartment until she gets back. They would follow her everywhere, her pictures were on the first pages for months. Lexa was everyone’s bad it girl. They would annoy her or make comments just to get a rise from her_

_‘’WOW!!, am in the presence of royalty. My friends are going to be so jealous when they find out I meet you, But wait why are you working here?’’ Dax questioned with a puzzled look_

_Lexa’s smirk widened while her stomach turned ‘’How do you think I got the law enforcement off my back’’_

_‘’Man that’s genius,  So listen there is this new club in town it’s invite only, it has this dare play thing that it does, you sign in and they bring you a phone and you get all those incredible dares with points, the riskier the dares gets the more points you get. It’s quite the adrenalin rush’’ the guy said too excitedly_

_‘’I see. So that’s what you were doing?’’ she tried to keep her voice leveled_

_‘’Yeah, I gave drugs to the girl but I had no intention in doing anything to her just record a video to prove I did the dare. You should come it’s a lot of fun’’ Dax confessed_

_‘’It sounds pretty great what did you say the club name was?’’_

_‘’Azgeda, they guy who runs it Quint, is into all sorts of illegal stuff’’ he rests his   back to chair again more relaxed_

_‘’Did you get all that?’’ Lexa asked keeping her eyes trained on Dax_

_‘’Get what?’’ he asked confused_

_‘’Not you, I was talking to the people behind the glass’’ with that she stand up and goes to the door unlocking it. Two police officers walk in and read the guy his rights while he was still in total shock_

_‘’Wait? You tricked me?!! You bitch I’ll get you back for this’’ he screams fighting off the two guys that were dragging him to a cell_

_Marcus exists the other room and pat her shoulder ’’Nice work Detective It was so convincing ‘’_

_‘’Yeah’’ Lexa left and got back to her desk after she finished writing her report she went to Kane’s office and gave it to him, but on her way back to her desk Anya stopped her telling her Dax was asking to see her and that he have more information he wanted to share but he will only speak to Lexa she agreed immediately and walked to the holding cells. When she approached she gestured for the guard to open that cell door and she got in ._

_Dax was glaring at her from his place on the mattress ‘’So is that how you got Mount Weather? You tricked them into believing you’re one of the players only to take their trust and use it against them?’’_

_Lexa wasn’t in the mood for games so she spoke firmly ‘’They said you have information to share with me’’_

_‘’True, you know when I heard some guy wanted to kill the great Lexa Woods I didn’t know why but now I can see it’’ He said with a grin_

_‘’I had a long day so if you wanted to play games I don’t have time for this’’ she said turning around to walk out_

_He smirked before stopping her ’’Emerson, that’s the guy’s name he wants revenge for what you supposedly did to the Wallace siblings’’_

_That got her attention ‘’What I did?’’_

_‘’Yeah you know snuffing Cage and Costia.  People were betting about what happened. Most of them say you killed Costia cause she was cheating on you and killed Cage when he walked in and saw his sister’s body lying on the floor’’ dax said like he was talking a movie and not a horrendous double murder_

_In a blink of an eyes she was there again back to that night seven month ago,  she could see it all hear it all. Costia’s sobs for her brother to stop, Kane’s belt hitting her skin repeatedly, the gun firing, Costia’s lifeless body. Lexa knew she should control her anger she knew she can’t cross a line but at the mention of her dead girlfriend all reason went out the door ‘’Don’t you dare say her name’’_

_Dax knew he was starting to effect Lexa so he continued ‘’Why not? She was a piece of shit just like the rest of us’’ at that comment Lexa turned to the guy her eyes were flashing red. She grabbed Dex by the collar of his shirt and pushed him against the cell bar ‘’I will kill you, I will fucking kill you’’_

_Dax didn’t have the chance to answer because Lexa pushed his face right into the bars , he yelped in pain which got worse when she repeated the motion over and over again ._

_Lexa felt ringing in her eyes all her control was slipping. Costia was a gentle soul she didn’t deserve this kind of words to taint her memory, she was pure and kind and nothing like all those worthless brat the guy compared her too, suddenly a yell brought her back from her trance. She let go of the guy making him fall to the ground and locked her eyes with Anya’s frantic one, In a second the cell bars opened and Anya rushed in checking the guy before she walked to her and grabbed Lexa out of cell and into the bathroom by her elbow_

_‘’What the fuck was that? Do you think you’re fucking dirty Harry now? What the hell is wrong with you!!’’ Anya screamed at her but when Lexa didn’t say anything she got even angrier ‘’Fucking answer me!!’’_

_‘’What?!! What do you want me to say?’’ Lexa said with the same yelling tone not even flinching_

_‘’Anything to explain what you did in there, you almost killed the guy if I didn’t come in. Do you want to lose your job? Is that it?’’_

_‘’Fuck off Anya’’ Lexa tried to walk away but Anya didn’t let her_

_‘’Oh no you don’t , you don’t get to use that attitude on me. That guy had blood all over her face and I won’t be turning a blind eye this time. You’ve been fucking up ever since you came back and it’s not acceptable ‘’ Anya was really worried when she walked in on Lexa beating the guy she didn’t see any signs or regret or any other emotion in her eyes for that matters, even now standing in here talking to her Lexa showed no signs of emotion it was the same thing that happened in the club couple of weeks back_

_‘’Whatever Anya you want to report me go ahead and do it just no more lectures’’ her hard gaze was in place_

_Anya’s eyes soften ‘’Lex, I thought you knew I would never betray you. I always have your back just talk to me. You need to talk to me about what’s going on with you ‘’_

_Lexa’s whole demeanor changed ‘’I do.  I just I went in there to see what he wants and out of nowhere he started talking about Costia ‘’Lexa knew Anya worries about her so much. She knew her cousin wouldn’t drop the conversation unless she told her but she also hated the fact that whenever someone brought Costia in a conversation she always loses her shit_

_Anya moved closer to her cousin. She draped a hand on Lexa shoulder before speaking’’ When you lose someone you care about it stays with you it will always hunts you , But Lex even though it’s really hard for you, you should let her go. You need to grief her and let go of her along with all the pain and guilt you feel. Sometimes the best thing to do is take a step back, give yourself the time to heal properly’’_

_‘’I can’t just sit at home and do nothing Anya it will drive me crazy’’ Lexa answered truthfully_

_‘’What did Clarke say about that? Did you tell her about your outbursts?’’ Anya questioned narrowing her eyes at Lexa and watching her curiously. Lexa grunted at hearing Clarke’s name ‘’I take that as a no’’_

_‘’I don’t know how to talk about it Anya I already told he about Costia though ‘’ Lexa said with a sad expression_

_‘’That’s progress you should be proud of yourself for sharing that with her, and about the outburst you could start by ’Hey Doc I’ve been going all she hulk on random people’s ass what do you think’ ‘’_

_Lexa smiled at Anya’s antics despite being so confused and sad she was happy was happy Anya was with her, she was the only one who could put a smile on her face ’’Probably not the best idea’’_

_‘’So you shared the Costia story with Clarke she must be one hell of a doctor for you to trust her in such a short period of time’’ Anya added smirking remembering the conversation she had with Raven and how they talk about Lexa and Clarke being so cute with their heart eyes_

_‘’She is. She really is’’ Lexa said agreeing_

_Anya flashed her a toothy smile ’’Alright now we hug it out’’ She said fully knowing how much Lexa hates physical contact_

_‘’In your dreams’’ Lexa’s response comes right away_

_‘’Come on Lexie you know you want too’’ Anya taunted her by opening her arms wide as if waiting for Lexa_

_‘’Yeah keep dreaming. I swear Raven is rubbing off on you... humff’’ Lexa’s sentenced cut got by Anya giving her a tight hug. In fact it was too tight she couldn’t breath_

End Flahback

 

Lexa closed her eyes willing her thoughts to go away. When minutes passed by and she couldn’t sleep she reached for her phone that was on the night stand she looked at the time and surprisingly it wasn’t late so she sent a quick text to Anya telling her she wants to hang out, maybe go to a bar or something. She didn’t have to wait almost immediately her phone buzzed with a new message from Anya telling her she will be at the bar in 40 minutes. Lexa pulled her covers off  and stood going to her closet to pick out something to wear.

 

 

                                                *******************

 

Raven and Anya were at Clarke’s apartment for movie night, the couple were discussing what type of movie they should watch, while Clarke sat on the arm chair feet tuck under her with a sketch book on her lap.

 

‘’Babe for the last time we are not going to watch a chick flick’’ Anya said for the hundredth time

 

Raven batted her eyelashes at Anya ‘’Come on they are not so bad, we can watch the new Bridget Jones’’

 

‘’Nope I want action’’

 

‘’Fine Clarke is the tiebreaker let’s ask her’’ Raven gave up and turned to Clarke ’’So what will it be Clarkey?’’

 

‘’Humm?’’ Clarke asked seemingly out of it and too focused on her drawing

 

‘’ What you got there Griffin? ’’ Raven quipped trying to look at the sketch book

 

‘’Nothing I’m just drawing stuff ‘’ Clarke nonchalantly replayed

 

‘’Wait a minute Clarke can draw? ‘’ Anya questioned her voice taking a serious note

 

‘’Yeah I can ‘’ Clarke lifted her head up to look at Anya

 

‘’You know if you need a model you can ask Lexa she might like this stuff ‘’ Anya said biting her lip to keep from smiling

 

Raven’s eyes flickered with mischievous ‘’You can paint her maybe like one of your French girls’’ both Anya and Raven burst out laughing at this while receiving a death glare from Clarke

 

Anya shushed her girlfriend ‘’No but really how are things going with your sessions ‘’

 

Clarke closed her sketch book and putted on the coffee table before she turned to fully face Anya ‘’you know I can’t talk to you guys about this, but the last couple of sessions hadn’t been very good’’

 

‘’How so? ‘’ Raven asked intrigued

 

‘’I can’t explain it really I just know she is hiding something’’ she sighed Clarke was worried that the kiss already broke Lexa’s trust in her

 

‘’Have you asked her about it? Maybe she feels embarrassed about something and doesn’t know how to tell you’’ Anya quipped

 

Raven returned her gaze to her girlfriend ‘’What are you not telling us?’’ before Anya can respond however her phone buzzed singling a new message ‘’Saved by the bell’’.

 

Anya sighs out loud before speaking ‘’Hey guys I know we said we are having a movie night, but can we go to a bar or something?’’

 

Clarke and Raven her a questioning look as if asking her to elaborate

 

‘’Lexa wants to hang out so ‘’ she trailed off looking apologetically at both women

 

‘’Sure babe, let’s go have some fun’’ Raven stood and pulled Clarke up with her ‘’You are going too Clarkey and am not taking no as an answer’’

 

When Clarke left the room the two girlfriend started talking in hushed voices ‘’ I think Clarke has a thing for Lexa’’ Raven whispered

 

‘’Babe they both do. Don’t you see the heart eyes they give each other? Although Lexa will never admit it  but I think she does like her too she is just too stubborn to say anything’’

 

‘’ Yeah Clarke too, she kept on saying she is my patient blah blah blah’’

 

‘’God these two are going to be a handful to get them to confess their feelings’’ Anya grunted

 

Raven reached out and caressed her girlfriend cheek with a tender touch ‘’Yeah , they are like next level Jon Snow. Good thing they have us to give them a little push’’

 

                                   ***********************

 

Lexa walked to the club the alcohol hitting her nostrils the moment she stepped foot inside, The music was too loud her ears started ringing but it was a welcome relief because the music were numbing the voices in her head. All the thoughts were starting to disappear. She knew the only way to get rid of all of them was to have a couple of drink so instead of texting Anya to ask her where she was. She just moved to the bar and ordered shots of tequila.  She down them rapidly one shot after the other feeling the alcohol hit her throat with the usual burning sensation, and then asked for a beer. She is too buzzed by the alcohol running in her system to notice the three figures that walked inside the club.

 

‘’Okay guys can you see Lexa?’’ Anya questions as soon as they enter the club she knew her cousin wasn’t a great fan of clubs which is why she was confused when she got Lexa’s text. She could tell something was bothering her cousin but she can’t figure out what

 

‘’Found her’’ Raven said pointing her finger at the bar direction. True to her word Lexa was sitting at the bar surrounded by two women who were practically drooling all over her

 

Clarke clenched her jaw when she saw the two women patting their eyelashes seductively, one with a red head who seemed to be making a joke or saying something funny because Lexa was laughing so hard she almost fell from her seat. _Come on Clarke you have no right to be angry she is not your girlfriend you are just her Doctor and she is your patient and that’s that…did that fucking bitch just_ _put her hands on her ass!!!! Oh am gonna smack a bitch down_

‘’Holy hell that red head is totally getting handsy with Lexa’s ass’’ Raven commented with her jaw on the floor

 

Anya’s face hardened and she made her way to the bar she pushed couple of horny people who were making out earning herself a lot of ‘’HEY!!’’ and ‘’WATCH WHERE YOUR GOING LADY!!’’ but she ignored them. She heard Raven whispering to Clarke ‘’Hot damn Anya is on a war path better watch out she’s like a mama bear ’’. As soon as she reached Lexa she grabbed her hand and pulled her to stand giving a death glare to the two vultures on either side of her cousin. She was even more pissed off when she smelled the alcohol pouring out of Lexa ‘’Come on let’s go grab a table’’

 

Lexa looked at Anya with glazing unfocused eyes ‘’Anyaaa!!!!, you are here’’ her excitement faded when she caught a glimpse of blonde hair ’’You brought Clarke with you?’’ he tone was almost accusing

 

‘’Hey Lexa’’ Clarke and Raven said in unison although Clarke’s tone showed a bit of disappointment. She nodded her head in acknowledgment

 

Anya started dragging her away from the bar when the red head suddenly spoke ‘’Hey we were having a conversation can’t you see that?’’

 

Anya raised an eyebrow at the woman ‘’And now it’s done, go find yourself someone else’’, however, the red head didn’t back down and took hold of Lexa’s free hand ‘’No I think we are good, besides I think Lexa wants to stay’’

 

‘’Oh is that so’’ Anya retorted her tone as cold as ice ‘’the way I see it Lexa is too drunk to know any better and I really think you should let go of her before I lose my patience’’

 

Lexa laughed out loud ‘’Ladies calm down we are here to have fun no need to have an oil wrestling match although that maybe great but alas I don’t want to see my cousin in any compromising situation it’s enough all the sounds I hear coming from her room whenever Raven is there’’ Lexa stood straighter and glared at Anya and Raven seeing both woman’s cheek tint with red ‘’Yeah that’s true I hear all the (oh right there!! Right there baby am going to come) and all the (Anya you are so big and hard) which is so confusing because Anya doesn’t have a dick. But seriously if I have to listen to you two going at it like rabbits for one more night am going to chop my ears off ‘’ she finished her sentence and tilted her head seemingly lost in thought how could that be possible

 

‘’For the love of fuck!! Shut the hell up!!!’’ Anya yelled holding Lexa more forcefully and trying but failing to hide her embarrassment at Lexa’s bluntness

 

Clarke was chuckling like this is the funniest thing she ever heard _oh my god she is so cute with that adorable confusing look she has and sooooooo sweet when she is drunk_

Raven looked embarrassed for two seconds before she moved closer to Lexa with a smug look on her face ignoring her girlfriend’s warning glare. She leaned closer to Lexa’s ear before she whispered ‘’A fake dick Lex a dildo that’s how’’

 

Lexa’s eyes widened ‘’A dildo!! Really? Oh fuck I did not want that image of my cousin doing that to you’’ she made a gagging noise ‘’ I think am going to be sick’’

 

‘’You are too vanilla girl’’ Raven adds

 

The red head burst out laughing before adding in a not so discrete voice giving Lexa her best seductive look ‘’You can come with me and we can try it if you want Lexa’’

 

Anya got her wits back and pushed Lexa behind her towards Clarke as if she is shielding her from the red head. She towered over the other woman giving a dangerous look ‘’How about I throw your ass in jail for harassing an officer of the law ‘’ that got the other woman’s attention the one who was sitting on the other side of Lexa ‘’Um no need officer we were just leaving ‘’ she lifted her hands up before she turned to her red head friend and dragged her out of the club immediately

 

Lexa was still giggling while staring at Clarke’s eyes the whole situation long forgotten ‘’Wow you have the prettiest eyes ever ‘’ she said loud enough for Clarke to hear her

 

Clarke felt heat radiating from her cheeks ‘’Thank you ‘’ she knew Lexa is drunk and she didn’t know how to act but being around this amazingly cute woman and not being able to touch her or kiss her plump lips was like torture to her and oh my god she felt a shiver run throw through her body when Lexa’s eyes went down to her lips while biting on her own

 

‘’Okay drunky let’s get you out of here’’ Anya said

 

‘’Nooo but I don’t want to go home just yet please Anya!! I can’t sleep’’ Lexa pleaded

 

‘’Fine we are not going home let’s just leave the club’’ Raven joined the conversation. Anya agreed with her girlfriend partially because she knows Lexa is having hard time sleeping and partially because even though Lexa is drunk she seems to be having a good time. It has been so long since she saw Lexa smiling this wide and joking around

 

‘’Can Clarke come too?’’ She asked in her drunken state all sense of logic gone ‘’She has really beautiful eyes’’

 

Clarke blushed even more and turned her gaze to the floor thankfully Anya decided to stop her cousin from making a fool out of herself ‘’Okay Clarke can come too, now come on come with me’’

 

Anya put her arms around Lexa making sure the girl won’t trip and fall ‘’We really need to do something about your lady boner’’ she whispered loud enough for only Lexa to hear. Anya knew drunk Lexa has no filter so she knew she would give her the truth about her feelings

 

‘’I know but she is gorgeous I can’t help it. Have you noticed how blue her eyes are, it’s like am looking at the sea and every time I lock eyes with her I get lost in them but hush don’t tell her that. She wouldn’t want me to talk about her like that’’

 

‘’How so?’’ Anya questioned

 

‘’pinky promise you won’t tell anyone?’’ Lexa said pointing her pinky in Anya’s direction

 

‘’Pinky promise’’

 

‘’Alright, well I kissed her once when we were packing Raven’s stuff but she didn’t like it. She stopped me and said we can’t but it’s okay I don’t blame her who would want me any way ‘’ Lexa sighed

 

‘’Don’t say that you are amazing, loyal, beautiful , smart young woman and anyone would be lucky to have you ‘’ Anya said feeling sad for her cousin, it broke her heart to hear Lexa talk about herself like this. Her young strong cousin was in so much pain and in this moment it was evident ‘’You’re worthy of love and so much more’’ she flick Lexa’s nose

 

Raven and Clarke were walking in front of them completely un aware of the conversation the two cousin were having behind them ‘’So what the hell was that back there?’’ Raven questions

 

‘’What do you mean?’’ Clarke answers confused

 

‘’Oh you know just you half turning green when you saw Lexa with the red head ‘’

 

Clarke sighed deeply she knew she has two options either lie to Raven which is a big mistakes because her friend is like a hound who can smell lies from miles or tell her the truth and never hear the end of it from Raven, the teasing will never stop either way she figured so she cleared her throat ‘’Raven I need to tell you something but I also need you to be an adult and listen without any comments or teasing. Can you do that?’’

 

‘’I am an adult in fact am not just that am a genius I have my zero g mechanics when I was 19 but fine no teasing ‘’ Raven finally concluded

 

‘’I kissed Lexa when we were helping you move your stuff, well she kissed me but I kissed her back ‘’ Clarke confessed somehow feeling guilty

 

‘’You did what!!!!!!!’’ Raven squealed

 

‘’What did I just say Raven’’ Clarke reprimanded

 

‘’Fine, fine continue’’ Raven pursed her lips in to a line

 

‘’That’s just it Ray we kissed but I stopped it I told her we can’t but it’s all I can think about ‘’ Clarke started playing with the sleeves of her shirt

 

‘’Why don’t you tell her that ‘’

 

‘’Didn’t you see her tonight she has so many demons Ray, and she needs me to be her Doctor more than anything but god it’s getting harder and harder every time I see her or talk to her. You know she likes to act tough and emotionless but I can see the real Lexa behind the façade. She is so kind and gentle. She cares a great deal about everyone. She puts everyone’s well being above hers and god Raven she deserves so so so much better, She deserves the world. She is been through so much pain and suffering in her life and she still wakes up every morning showing how incredibly strong she is’’

 

‘’Hey there you don’t need to sell me on Lexa I know she is pretty great’’ Raven wrap an arm around Clarke ‘’ you my friend have the worst crush’’ she said with no maliciousness in her voice

 

‘’Don’t I know it’’ Clarke hang her head down

 

They stopped their conversation as soon as the noise from the club faded away and they were standing in the parking lot. Anya being the protective cousin told them there was no way in hell she was going to let Lexa drive while she is intoxicated so all four women got in one car. Anya was driving, Raven sitting next to her while Clarke and Lexa sat in the back seat.

 

 Lexa was still smiling as they sat in the car she turned her gaze to Clarke and her smile widened even more while her eyes shined with mischief. _I would give anything to be closer to you_. without saying anything she leaned her head on Clarke’s shoulder’’ Is it okay if I lay my head on your lap’’

 

Clarke head snapped so fast to Lexa when she spoke those words she felt the muscles in her neck tighten ‘’Why are you dizzy?’’ she questioned worried about Lexa

 

Lexa bit her lip to stop herself from smiling’’ uhum, yes’’ she nodded her head furiously

 

‘’Okay then’’ Clarke answered with a warm smile although she felt her heart trying to leap out and escape from her ribcage

 

Lexa moved further down and put her head on Clarke’s lap letting out a relived sigh _yezzz!!! She is so comfy I can sleep here forever_ _great idea lexie_  her drunken self thought before she moved her attention back to Anya locking their eyes because apparently Anya was looking at her through the rear view mirror ‘’Hey An, can we go to the pet shop?’’

 

Anya looked at her quizzically ‘’What for?’’

 

Lexa was deep in thought, she was silent for a couple of minutes before she answered ‘’ I want to get a fish maybe a squid and an aquarium definitely an aquarium I can’t just put them in the tub you know’’

 

Anya and Raven bursted out laughing while Clarke giggled. Lexa lifted her head a little bit to look at Clarke ‘’Are you laughing at me Klarke?’’  _oh my god why does she have to ask so sweetly_ ‘’No am not’’ she slapped her other two friends who were still laughing ‘’Okay guys you heard Lexa let’s go to the pet shop’’

 

Lexa put her head back at Clarke’s lap before adding ‘’I knew I liked you for a reason ‘’

 

Clarke mouth fell open. _Did I hear her right did she just say…….,_ Lexa moved a bit burying her face in Clarke’s leg before she kissed Clarke’s clothed knee ‘’Thank you Klark’’ 

 

_Holly fuck_ Clarke was sure she was going to have a heart attack by the way her heart was racing. _She is drunk you idiot she probably think it’s a friendly thing to show her appreciation._           Her hands moved on their own accord and started stroking Lexa’s hair ‘’You are welcome Lexa. But you know as your Doctor I would advise against excessive drinking ‘’ Clarke teased immediately regretting it as she saw Lexa smirk at her

 

Lexa moved from Clarke’s lap and inched closer to her face their nose were practically brushing and their lips only a hair away ‘’You know Doc am not a guy so you don’t have to worry about me performing ‘’ tucking a loose strand of the blond hair behind Clarke’s ear

 

Clarke was beyond shocked her face was burning from Lexa’s answer _. Oh you smooth fucker_ she was staring at those intense forest green eyes, her eyes dropping to Lexa’s lips and feeling the other girl’s breathe on her own lips.

 

‘’Damn Lexa has some game!’’ Raven’s voice cut in, with her and Anya snickering all the while Lexa showing her smug face and puffing her chest out as if she is proud of the comment she received from Raven

 

Clarke still looked like a fish out of water with her mouth opening and closing her mouth was still dry from Lexa’s comment and her mind now started to conjure up a very and highly inappropriate images of Lexa and her what made it even worst was Anya and Raven singing a sappy old love song popping their heads to the music as if they were doing it on purpose

 

_You’re too good to be true_

_Can’t take my eyes off of you_

_You’d be like heaven to touch_

_I wanna hold you so much_

_At long last has arrived_

_And I thank god am alive_

_You’re just too good to be true_

_Can’t take my eyes off of you_

Suddenly Lexa leapt out from her lap sitting straighter and started doing air drums while locking her eyes with Clarke and singing the next chorus

 

_I love you baby_

_And if it’s quite all right_

_I need you baby_

_To warm a lonely night_

_I love you baby_

_Trust in me when I say_

_Oh pretty baby_

By the end of the song all the other three women in the car were screaming at the top of their lungs like they were possessed. Smiles and glances full of love were shared between Anya and Raven their hands ended up entwining before Anya brought Raven’s hands to her lips and kissed her knuckles. Raven smiled widely at her before whispering ‘’I love you’’ and giving her a quick peck on the lip.

 

 Clarke on the other hand was way too amused watching how carefree Lexa looked _. I wish you always stay this happy._ She was brought back from her though by Lexa pushing a strand of hair behind her ears ‘’You should sing with us its fun’’ _oh you have no idea how much I enjoyed watching you sing and jesus that voice of yours is like angel are singing, it send shiver down my spine._ Clarke shook her head to get her thoughts in order she couldn’t say that to Lexa.

 

‘’Okay people we are here’’ Anya announced

 

Lexa didn’t even wait for Anya to park she looked at Clarke with gleeful eyes and hold her hand before opening the back seat door and running out of the car with so much speed like she just tapped into her inner Flash dragging  a very surprised Clarke with her ‘’Come on hurry up I can already see the pet shop from here. They will close the shop if we don’t hurry ‘’ She voiced excitedly

 

‘’Okay Lexa just wait, stop running Anya already called a head and told them we are coming’’ Clarke explained

 

Lexa was still tugging on her hand until they finally reached the door. Lexa had on a goofy lopsided smile that made Clarke heart melt every time she looked at her, Clarke could feel her resolves crumbling with each passing minute she spends with Lexa.

 

Lexa with her impatience started pounding on the door ‘’Open up we are here for the fish’’ she yelled she had all her weight against the door leaning on it and pressing her face to the glass door to watch any movement from inside

 

Anya came from behind her and face palmed ‘’So sorry Clarke, Lexa tends to get more in touch with her childish side when she is drunk’’

 

‘’It’s okay we all have been there don’t worry about it’’ Clarke waved her off she couldn’t tell Anya that she thought it’s the most adorable thing she ever had the pleasure to witness

 

‘’Open up!!’’ Lexa whined and Clarke has to fight with all her well the urge to grab this girl and kiss the hell out of her. Out of nowhere the door opened sending Lexa to the floor face first.

 

 The worker’s eyes widen before he starts apologizing ‘’Am so sorry miss I didn’t know you were behind the door directly’’

 

Clarke knelt in front of Lexa checking if she sustained any injuries ‘’Lexa you okay?’’

 

Lexa’s smiled fell down a bit but as soon as Clarke knelt in front of her and asked her if she was okay it was back full force, she had on the same mischievous look she had in the car‘’ if I said no will you kiss it and make it better’’

 

Clarke looked at her stunned okay this night needs to be over before she does something she will regret but how can she say no especially when Lexa was pouting at her like this, it felt like the other girl smile was tugging on her heart strings . _This girl is going to be the death of me_

 

Raven came in chuckling this version of Lexa was so adorable ‘’ yeah Clarke kiss the bo bo ‘’

 

‘’Fine. Where does it hurt Lexa’’ She tried to mask her blush and excitement by acting annoyed of this situation

 

Lexa smiled slyly before pulling her lips as if she was going to kiss some and pointed with her finger tips at it nodding her head repeatedly.

 

Clarke was perplexed she felt her embarrassment reach a new level, _Calm down she would never do that is she is sober_ , _remember she is drunk_ !! ’’How about I buy you the fish instead’’

 

Lexa seemed to be thinking about until she huffed out ‘’Fine’’

 

Raven and Anya were doing their best to not just burst out laughing. Clarke noticed this and gave them a jab in the kidney each while the pet shop worker still looked at them awkwardly. All of them were looking at Lexa as she stood up from the floor and started looking at all direction whistling and cheering like a kid on Christmas morning running through all direction from left to right than back to left, her eyes taking everything until she stood in front of an open box and gasped loudly making everyone’s head turned to her she crouched down and pulled what looked like a half sleeping Golden retriever puppy who immediately snuggled closer in the crack of her neck resting his head there ’’Found it’’ she whispered lightly while covering the puppy’s ears to make sure she doesn’t wake him .

 

‘’ Absolutely not ‘’ Came the stern voice of Anya

 

‘’But he is so fluffy look’’ Lexa said gesturing to the peaceful puppy sleeping in her arms

 

‘’I don’t care if he is the fluffiest thing ever, we agreed on a fish and only a fish so help me god I will shoot you if you pick anything other than an aquatic animal’’ Anya stood her ground

 

Lexa looked at her challenging, eyebrows furrowed ‘’Well am not asking besides I’ll name him fish and you can’t stop me. Also you won’t shoot me you love me too much ‘’ she reached for her wallet and tossed it to the worker while smiling ‘’Clarke come look he is so cute’’. Clarke came over next to her and started lightly patting the sleeping puppy ‘’He is so cute Lexa’’ _Not as cute as you though_ , she shared a warm smile with Lexa

 

Raven hugged her girlfriend ‘’Come on babe he is really cute just look at him’’

 

‘’Well you won’t think he is cute when he starts shitting everywhere and chewing on our shoes’’ Anya said still not backing down. Raven leaned and whispered something in her ears that made her eyes go wide and a blush to spread on her cheeks ‘’Okay fine, buy the damn thing’’ she grumbled

 

‘’You and me we are going to be best buds fish’’ Lexa kissed the top of the puppy’s head earning herself a purr from him. Clarke was still patting the dog until she felt Lexa’s hand come on top of her she looked up and was meet by the warmest green eyes ever. Without thinking of her actions Clarke leaned in and kissed Lexa’s cheek lingering there for more than what was probably appropriate .

 

‘’Damn you were serious about naming him Fish’’ Anya chimed

 

‘’Yes I was’’ Lexa answered without breaking eye contact with Clarke

 

_I wish I could wake up every day snuggled to you and fish_ Lexa though

 

_I wish I could wake up every day snuggled to you and that cute puppy.  Maybe one day_ Clarke thought

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the kudos and feedback it's very appreciated


	15. Let The Fun Begin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the kudos and feedback they made my day and special Thanks to the wonderful awesomesauce_unicorn who kindly offered to be my Beta 
> 
> Happy reading everyone :)

Clarke woke up in the morning with a big smile on her face, the events of last night were playing on repeat in her head. The images of Lexa cuddling to her new puppy warmed her heart, how Lexa sang to him when he started waking up, how gentle she petted him but most of all, sharing those little tiny moments with the young Detective. When Lexa first laid her head on her lap and kissed her knee, or the small kisses on the cheeks that lingered too much and

 _oh_ her wicked, wicked sense of humor and confidence, like how when Clarke teased her about being drunk the Detective just came out with a quick and more teasing answer that left Clarke speechless and _damn_ the way her eyes shone with mischief when she asked Clarke to kiss her lips and make it better because she hurt herself by falling, although Clarke could tell the other girl’s lips were fine,  _too fine_ and she didn’t actually hurt herself. Also that moment when Lexa brushed a loose hair out of her face and behind her ears and her angelic voice when she was singing. _Okay at this point Clarke, it’s more than stupid crush._ She chastised herself. Lexa is like a breath of fresh air _. More like a train moving at full speed to shatter my heart, god what am I doing? Better yet how am I suppose to act around her_

_Buzz_

MUM: Hey honey don’t forget our breakfast today

 

                                                                             Clarke: On my way

 

She jumped out of bed, brushed her teeth, picked out a pair of sweat pants and in 20 minutes she was at her mother’s house. She rang the bell once before her mom opened the door with a wide smile

 

‘’Hey sweetie’’ Abby pulled her daughter in for a hug.

 

‘’Hi mom, yummm I smell pancakes’’ Clarke started sniffing the air.

 

‘’You know it’’ Abby laughed at her daughter's enthusiasm.

 

Clarke moved inside the house after taking off her shoes and coat ’’Hi Kane’’

 

Kane sat at the table sipping his coffee ‘’Hey Clarke’’

 

Finally Clarke sat at the table piling pancakes on a plate and taking a few bites before she spoke ‘’How have you been?’’ she asked both her mom and Kane.

 

Abby answered first ‘’Work has been tiring, I'm pulling a double shift so I get to enjoy my vacation’’

 

‘’What vacation? You didn’t tell me anything’’ Clarke questioned _no one told me about any vacation._

‘’Oh yeah I forgot to tell you, the Woods invited us to spend a couple of days in their ranch before the party they are having for the police department ‘’ Abby answered excitedly.

 

‘’Okay??’’

 

‘’Clarke you are invited too, Indra and Elizabeth spoke to me about it. They know Raven is coming with Anya, and Octavia is coming with Lincoln they were sure Alexandria would forget so they told me’’

 

Clarke almost choked on her pancake when she heard Lexa’s name ‘’ Why would Lexa invite me? We are just friends’’.

 

Abby smirked knowingly ‘’I didn’t say you weren’t. We are their friends and they invited us too. We are going to have so much fun! ’’

 

Clarke nodded her head before she turned her attention to Kane ‘’What about you Kane?’’

 

‘’Yeah, am excited too’’ he sighed

 

Clarke looked between her mother and Kane ‘’Well you could have fooled me’’ she said sarcastically.

 

‘’No! I am, it’s just.. been a couple of hard days at work’’   Kane said, scratching his beard.

 

‘’Anything I can help you with?’’ She asked concerned. Usually Kane has a big smile whenever she sees him, but today something was off about him

 

‘’I don’t know Clarke. Has Lexa been talking to you recently?’’ Kane locked eyes with her.

 

‘’Yes’’ she answered immediately now feeling worried ‘’Why? What’s going on’’ _this is about Lexa, did something happen? Is that why she was drunk last night?_

 

Kane shook his head ‘’We had a little accident a couple of days ago. Lexa bashed someone’s face against their cell bar’’

 

Clarke gasped and dropped her fork giving Kane her full attention ‘’How did that happen?’’ Clarke sighed _why didn’t she tell me_. She couldn’t understand how someone could be so gentle and nice but at the same time so angry and violent. _Well somehow I can, I can see it in her eyes, she's still battling her demons. She has been through a lot and it’s not easy for her to let go and move on that easily no matter how much I want her to._

 

‘’We don’t know, no one is talking but I know it was Lexa. Even the poor guy didn’t say anything. He told us he fell and hit his face’’ Kane sighed.

 

‘’You know, it might not even be her right? So stop with the judging’’ _W_ _ow where did that come from?_

 

Kane raised his hands in mock surrender ‘’I'm not Clarke, you know I'm not. I care a great deal about Lexa’’ he spoke truthfully ‘’Lexa is like a daughter to me. I've known her since she was in diapers, that’s why I worry so much about her’’.

 

‘’Well if you do, you should have her back, not spread rumors’’ she gave him a stern look. Although she understood where Kane was coming from, she didn't expect he would accuse Lexa of such a thing.

 

‘’Okay Clarke you misunderstood the situation, I'm just worried about her. There is no need to bite my head off. I know you care about her too that’s why I am telling you what happened’’ Kane looked at her confused not expecting her outburst.

 

 _Why do I have to be this obvious? ‘_ ’Of course I do, she's my patient’’ she said defending her outburst _Great save Griffin_

 

Abby bit her cheek on the inside. It was very obvious to her that Clarke had some feelings for Lexa, more than just a doctor patient thing ‘’Have I ever told you how Marcus and I started dating?’’

 

Clarke was confused at the abrupt change of topic but nodded none the less ‘’ Yeah, you knew each other for ages, he was a good friend since college’’.

 

Abby shook her head, her eyes soft when she looked at Clarke ‘’ True we were friends, but we started dating after he got in an accident at work and came to the ER, I was his main physician and during his time at the hospital something changed between us. I knew I cared about Marcus before, it’s just, I never knew it was to the extent of being more than just friends.’’

 

‘’Wait so Marcus was your patient when you guys were dating?’’ Clarke asked in disbelieve.

 

Abby gave her daughter a warm smile ‘’Clarke honey, you know the hospital is huge, we have a lot of doctors so when we started dating I gave his case to a colleague of mine .‘’

 

‘’What if you are the only one who could help Marcus? Would you still have given his case to someone else?’’ Clarke asked knowing this question has been on her mind ever since her feelings for Lexa started growing.

 

‘’Honey listen to me. It’s not either, or. Just because you stop being someone’s Doctor doesn’t mean you don’t care about them any less. At one point or another in peoples lives, they will need help whether it's emotionally or physically. For Marcus and I, I choose to help by given my love, but you need to know I didn’t just do it for him. I did it also for me, it wasn’t rash or hurried. We sat down and talked about our feelings and then came to an understanding’’ Abby cleared her throat ‘’ Sometimes, the best way to save someone is by giving your love to them and show them they are not alone. That is if you _h_ _ave_ feelings for said person’’ Abby emphasized.

 

_But if I do this with Lexa, does that mean I'm giving her trust away? I don’t want to disappoint her. If I tell her I can’t be her doctor anymore would she feel like I'm giving up on her, would she even be okay with some other doctor? Damn it why does it have to be this hard?! Although maybe this... saving her with love might be a good idea, I'm just not sure how she will react or how she will accept it. Would she even want to date me after I tell her I can’t be her doctor anymore and oh fuck if I did, who do I trust with Lexa, she is not exactly the sharing type._

Kane’s voice brought her back from her thoughts, if she didn’t know any better she would swear her mother and Kane were ganging up on her like a well played tagging match.

Kane  was silent until now‘’ See Clarke sometimes we think that following our head is the better idea only to find out later that our heart was. We break our heart all the time, than we wonder why did it stop feeling and how did we end up here. I, for one, think if you like someone you should tell them, you never know what tomorrow will hold so seize the moment and share your feelings with the person you like’’ Kane finished by looking at Abby with love written all over his face.

 

Clarke smiled at her mother and step dad and their clear emotions and love towards each other. In moments like this she could feel her heart flutter. Whenever her mother talks about Marcus she gets this bittersweet feeling because she remembers her dad and how he used to talk about love all the time. But she's also happy for her mother. Abby had a really bad time after Jake died. Clarke getting depressed only made it worse; she stopped smiling, stopped taking care of herself,  so Clarke was thankful when Marcus came along and put a smile on her mother’s face ‘’Okay you two, enough with the sappy love stuff, really sometimes you act like two teenagers in love’’.

 

‘’Youth’’ Marcus said with a deep voice making the other Griffin women laugh.

 

 

Abby waved as if to get their attentions ‘’Fine, let’s talk about the trip we are leaving tomorrow, we are going to go to the Woods mansion first then we are taking a ride with them’’  

 

‘’Yeah I could text Raven and go with them’’ Clarke half winced half smiled remembering the comment Lexa made about how loud Anya and Raven were, the look on their faces was priceless. Clarke almost gave Lexa a pat on the back for teasing the teasing masters.

 

‘’Oh yeah? How is she doing? ‘’ Abby asked

 

‘’You know Anya right?’’ she asked both Abby and Kane and after they nodded their heads, confirming, she continued ‘’They have been dating for a couple of years now but no one knew about and now apparently they are getting engaged but they haven’t talk to anyone about it so hush?’’

 

‘’What!!!’’ Came the surprised yell from both Abby and Kane.

 

‘’Yupp’’ she answered popping the p.

 

‘’Wow that’s amazing!’’ Kane said excitedly.

 

‘’Are you kidding? Those two together is like a marriage made in heaven’’ Abby said happily ‘’I just feel sorry for the poor souls those two choose to tease, it’s like they have super powers. I should have known they would be good together’’.

 

‘’You have no idea’’ Clarke added in a whisper .

                                                XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Lexa was surprised when she woke by a whining noise, _what the hell?._ She moved to sit upright and saw a tiny ball of fur pressed into her _Oh fuck last night wasn’t a dream!_ another whine came from beside her. She moved her hands to wrap around the Golden retriever puppy and smiled _well at least I got this cute thing_ ‘’Hey there Fish want to go have breakfast?’’ when she was met by another whine she scratched behind his ear and stood from the bed with him still wrapped in her hands ‘’ Okay I will go make you something’’

 

She moved to the kitchen and was surprised to see Anya already sitting on the kitchen table’’ Morning Lex, I bought Fish some dog food. It’s in the cabinet next to your foot’’.

 

‘’Thank you Anya’’ she shared a smile with her cousin while opening the cabinet and taking the dog food and bowl to put in front of the puppy

 

‘’By the way, Elizabeth called. Apparently we are going to the ranch tomorrow ‘’ Anya said while sipping her coffee and offering a mug to Lexa.

 

‘’Tomorrow? I thought the party was in a couple of days’’ Lexa said taking the mug from Anya.

 

‘’Yeah well they want to have some kind of family vacation’’.

 

‘’That’s cool, I can’t wait to see how Aden will react when he sees Fish’’ she giggled a little.

 

‘’He is going to be so excited! Oh I almost forgot, the Griffin-Kane's are coming too ‘’ Anya said carefully watching Lexa’s reaction.

 

Lexa’s eyes widened ‘’Clarke is coming too?’’

Anya smirked ‘’Yes. Is that a problem?’’

 

‘’What? No!! I just…’’ She trailed off.

 

‘’Just? Are you worried about the kiss?’’

 

Lexa face palmed. Of course she had to get drunk and tell Anya about that. Well there is no point in hiding it anymore ‘’ I think I have feelings for Clarke’’ her gaze turning to the floor.

 

Anya put a hand over Lexa’s hand ‘’ It’s okay Lex, moving on is a good thing’’.

 

Lexa looked up ‘’Is it?’’

 

Anya sighed, she knew how heartbroken Lexa was when Costia passed away ‘’It’s killing me to say this but Lexa if  it was you who died that night, wouldn’t you want Costia to move on and find happiness in her life?’’

 

‘’Of course I would have wanted that for her’’ Lexa said with no hesitation ‘’Moving on is hard Anya. Every time I think I moved on, someone would say her name and it just brings me back to the night I lost her and I end up losing my shit’’

 

‘’It’s okay if you need more time. But I think you should still talk to Clarke about it.  Figure out her feelings and where she is at , Although I wouldn’t worry too much if I were you. Those fuck me eyes you give each other is kind of hard not to see, unless you were blind’’ Anya smiled a little and squeezed Lexa hand.

 

‘’We were having a serious adult conversation why do you have to joke about everything?’’

 

‘’Because life is too short to take it so seriously Lexie’’

 

‘’Yeah, whatever’’ Lexa stood and walked over to Fish seeing he finished his food ‘’Okay am heading out with Fish’’

 

‘’Have fun’’

 

                                     XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Lexa parked her car in front of the graveyard, Fish beside her, she opened her door and put his leash on before stepping out. She walked all the way to the Lake in the middle of the graveyard and sat on the bench next to Costia’s grave. It was too sunny today but the huge pine tree gave her some shade.

 

‘’Hey baby, I'm back’’ she smiled weakly before she took out the old flowers on the grave and replaced them with new ones ‘’I brought you your favorites’’ she ran her hand to the head stone which had a picture of smiling Costia ‘’ I missed you, god I missed you so much’’

 

‘’I'm going to the ranch tomorrow so I won’t be able to come visit you every day, just  a heads up’’ her fingers ran over Costia’s cheek in the picture’’ I always knew victory stands on the back of sacrifice, but it was supposed to be my sacrifice not yours, for that I'm sorry. I'm sorry  if I let you down ‘’ she started feeling the stings in her eyes which were the only warning she got before her tears started falling ’’You know I really thought after all we went through that we would finally get our happy ending and live happily together. I was dreaming of it, it’s the only thing that kept me sane over those two years I spent undercover. Like all the lies, all the bad things I did would fade away once we get out, and it did every time I saw you smiling or your eyes shining with love. I would forget everything that I did or had to do and be caught in the moment with you. In the last month we spent undercover, all what was on my mind was how hot you would look in a bikini sitting next to the beach, we were supposed to move to Hawaii or some tropical island to spend a couple of years there before we moved back to Polis to start a family’’ the tears were falling down freely now, her breaths were coming out short and it was hard for her to speak.

 

‘’I would give anything and everything to go back to that moment and save you baby. I loved you so much Cos I always wondered what you saw in me, why you loved me. Maybe you are in a better place now. I think I like to believe that, the idea of you being up there looking down on me and shaking your head at my stupidity and how much I'm screwing up. The thing is Cos you left, you left me alone and it was like hell. I didn’t know how to act or what to do, one minute you were there and promising forever, the next you were gone, dead but I know you died protecting me’’

 

Lexa took a deep breath before she continued ‘’If you are watching me than that means you must have seen me kissing Clarke, when you died I thought my heart died with you but I don’t know Cos she is making me feel stuff I never thought I could feel after you. You would have liked her if the two of you had met. She's amazing Cos, she is so free and full of live. The thing is I never planned on having feelings for her it just happened, so why do I feel so guilty about it? I feel like I have had a big dark hole in my chest and it was hard to breathe, ever since you died. The only time I feel like I can breathe now is when I'm with her. I would never forget you Costia but do you think I can share my love with Clarke?’’

 

She took a look at Costia’s smiling pictures in front of her ‘’ How do you do that? I remember that day when I took this picture, ugh you made me promise to put it on your head stone if something were to happen to you, I was so angry when you asked me that’’ she smiled remembering what happened ‘’ I didn’t talk to you for two hours but you convinced me to take it and stop bitching. You remember what you said back then?’’ she cleared her throat ‘’ You said darling life is too short and if something were to happen to me I want you to remember me laughing, I want you to remember this me, the one who is completely and utterly in love with you’’ she wiped at her cheeks ‘’Remember how you made me promise to move on and find love after you?. I don’t know if I'm ready or not to let you go Costia but I also know I have feelings for Clarke that are not going away’’

 

Lexa wiped her eyes with her sleeves before she smiled weakly ‘’Okay to more fun things, Let me introduce you to Fish’’ she held the puppy towards the picture while Fish was too busy trying to lick away her tears ‘’I'm okay buddy don’t worry’’ she hugged him closed to her.

 

Her phone buzzed in her pocket signaling a new message, she took it out and saw she had a message from a certain blonde ‘’Speak of the devil’’ she re pocketed her phone feeling a bit guilty about texting Clarke in front of Costia’s grave especially after what she talked about ’’Well not really Cos she is an angel’’ she stood up and leaned forward before she kissed her fingers and put them on Costia’s head stone ‘’See you when I get back’’

 

Lexa moved to her car but she couldn’t shake the feeling of being watched, she looked around the cemetery and saw nothing, Fish seemed to be impatient with her, he nudged her with his nose ‘’Sorry buddy we are going ‘’

 

As soon as she got in her car she opened her phone to read the text

 

Doc : Hey I just wanted to ask if you are okay if I come tomorrow with my parents, we were invited but I thought I’d ask you first

 

Lexa Woods : sure Doc no need to ask

                 You are more than welcome

 

Doc : thank you I really didn’t want you to be upset or surprised

                 How is Fish by the way?

 

Lexa Woods : Clarke of course not , and Fish is okay

                          We are walking actually

 

Doc : Lexa!!!! He is still so little, and the weather outside is chilly did you at least gave him a jacket or something?

 

Lexa Woods : sure Doc and shoes too

 

Doc : pffff not funny Lexa he could get sick

 

Lexa Woods :  Clarke he is fine I have him wrapped up under my jacket don’t worry

 

In that moment Fish barked causing her to smile a little ‘’You want to say hi to Clarke too ‘’ when Fish barked again her smile widened ‘’Okay’’

 

Lexa Woods : Fish says Woof-Woof

 

Doc : And that is ??

 

Lexa Woods : That’s hi in dog language Doc

 

Doc : Oh in that case tell him Woof-Woof-Woof

 

Lexa read the text and laughed imaging Clarke barking

 

Lexa Woods : so you Love Fish huh

 

Doc : ??????

 

Lexa Woods : Clarke what you said means I love you in dog language

 

Doc : you are an ass

 

Lexa Woods : Sorry it was too funny I couldn’t resist

 

                               XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Anya was waiting for Raven and Lexa to finish their packing, she already told them about the trip yesterday which is why she was surprised when she was ready to leave and saw them running from room to room to pack their stuff ‘’Come on!!! We are going to be late’’

 

‘’Babe chill we still have time ‘’ Raven yelled from somewhere in her room.

 

‘’Yes Anya listen to your girlfriend and stop bitching!’’ Lexa shouted from her own room.

 

‘’I’ll show you what bitching really is’’ Anya growled.

 

‘’I'm done, just bring the baby bottle for Fish please’’ Lexa added.

 

‘’Fucking hell Lexa!! He doesn’t need a bottle’’ Came the angry response from Anya as she was pacing back and forth in the kitchen.

 

‘’Yes he does. He is too small to eat the food you brought him’’ Lexa finally finish and zipped her bag.

 

‘’Well excuse me for helping, I should have let the poor thing starve’’ Anya scoffed and lowered her voice ‘’Next thing she will be buying him diapers’’

 

‘’okay I'm ready to go’’  Raven comes into the kitchen dragging two bags with her.

 

Anya rushed to help Raven with the bag ‘’Jesus you know we are just going to be a few days right?’’

 

‘’I know it’s just, I wanted to be prepared. What if it gets too cold or too warm’’ Raven explains.

 

Anya smiles lovingly at her ‘’If it gets too cold I’ll warm you up, you don’t have to worry about that’’ she winked at her girlfriend.

 

‘’Oh I'm counting on it’’ Raven says giving Anya a small kiss on the lips.

 

 

‘’Your highness are you ready to go!?!’’ Anya shouts

 

‘’I am’’ Lexa came out with two bags, a big one that has her stuff and small one that has all Fish’s stuff and toys with a bottle in her hand, and fish in the other ‘’I made a bottle for the road do you think it will be enough? I don’t want him to get hungry ‘’

 

‘’Dude seriously, what’s with you and feeding the dog, think about it like this, if he gets too big you won't be able to hold him ‘’ Anya scolds her.

 

‘’Ladies we are ready, let’s just go ‘’ Raven interrupts them.

 

The three women put all their bags in the car before Lexa walked to her car with Fish and leaves the parking lot with Anya driving behind her, it took approximately 35 minutes to get to the Woods mansion. She was the first to get out of the car, Fish poking his head from atop of her jacket. She saw her mom standing with Aden and moved closer to them.

 

‘’Hey mom’’ she kissed her mother’s cheek.

 

‘’Hey Aden’’ she states while ruffling his sandy blonde hair.

 

‘’Lexa, dog!!!!!!!!’’ Aden yelled causing Fish to get scared and hide his face back inside her jacket.

 

Two huge arms wrapped around Lexa and suddenly she found herself in a bear hug with not only her father but also her uncle Gustus, she could hear the snickering coming from both Anya and Raven and the faint whisper from Anya ‘’She’s the baby in the family’’ she could also hear the whining noises Fish was making. The hug continued until a car stopped in front of the house, and Clarke, Abby and Kane got out of it.

 

‘’Guys come on, you are acting like children, stop with the hugs. Aden wants to see the new puppy’’ Lexa reprimand.

 

Aden moved closer to see the puppy ‘’Lexa is he yours? What’s his name?’’

 

Lexa opens her jacket’s zipper to show Fish to Aden ‘’His name is Fish. You can pet him if you want to’’ she said with a smile while petting Fish slowly showing Aden how to do it. She pulled Fish out of her jacket but when Aden comes close to pet him, Fish had other ideas he jumps  from Lexa’s hands and starts running.

 

Aden stood smiling widely ‘’Lexie he is so fluffy’’

 

‘’Aden go after him, don’t let him escape’’ Lexa ordered taking off sprinting after Fish.

 

‘’You hear that brother, she called us children while she is the one who named her dog Fish’’ Alexander chuckled lightly ‘’She even forgot his leash’’ the two huge men bursts out laughing, shaking their heads at Lexa running after her dog while Aden was running after her.

 

Elizabeth swats Alexander on the chest with Indra doing the same to Gustus ‘’Stop harassing our daughter and behave, we have guests’’ she gestures to the Griffin-Kanes.

 

‘’Hello everyone’’ Kane and Abby spoke together everyone came to them to say their ‘hellos’ and ‘how are yous’ greeting one another.

 

‘’Kane’’ Indra greets him shaking Marcus’s hand.

 

‘’Hello old friend’’ Kane replies.

 

‘’Doctor Griffin, I hope you like the country side’’ Indra said turning her gaze to Abby.

 

‘’Indra please it’s Abby, and of course I will enjoy it as long as I'm surrounded with the good company you are all providing ‘’

 

Raven jumped on Clarke hugging her ‘’Clarkey we are going to have so much fun’’

 

‘’I hope so’’ Clarke said watching Lexa running around everyone behind Fish with Aden hot on her tail.

 

‘’Damn it Fish stop!!! You will get dirty’’ Lexa ran faster trying to get a hold of the tiny ball of fur. Finally Fish stopped next to a tree, he sniffed around before he sat down.

 

Lexa looked with wide eyes ‘’Wow okay now I get why you ran away smart move buddy’’

 

Aden stopped in front of his sister hands on his knees and gasping for air ‘’Lexie he's behind you let’s go grab him’’

 

Lexa stopped him and turned him away slightly ’’Aden give him his privacy can’t you see the little dude is doing his business’’ she said with a serious face averting her eyes from Fish.

 

‘’Oh okay, sorry ‘’ Aden turned around, his back facing Fish, copying his big sister's stance.

 

‘’Anya!!! Give me Fish’s bag, I'm going to give him a quick shower after he's done’’ Lexa announced  

 

All heads turn to look at Lexa, some with questioning looks, some with amused looks but one of complete and total awe she got from Clarke when their eyes locked together. She got distracted in her chase after Fish she didn’t notice Clarke had arrived.

 

Anya groaned ‘’Are you for real? Dogs can clean themselves you don’t have to do it for them, besides we are going to be late’’ she pointed at the arm watch she has on her wrist.

 

Lexa looked at her mom with pleading eyes knowing full well her mother would never deny her anything she asks  ‘’Fine go but be quick and where are your manners? Come say hello to our guests’’ Elizabeth notes before facing the Griffin-Kanes ‘’I swear if I didn't know any better I would think she and Anya were raised by wolves’’

 

Lexa smiled and moved to the Griffin-Kane’s ‘’Hey Cap, Abby, Clarke’’

 

Abby gave Lexa a warm motherly hug while Kane smiled, nodding his acknowledgement and Clarke gave her a small kiss on the cheek ‘’You better have brought a jacket for Fish’’

 

Lexa smiled shyly still feeling all tingly from the kiss Clarke gave her ‘’I did’’

 

Clarke nodded her head not trusting herself to speak, also because of the fact that the butterflies erupting in her stomach were too distracting.

 

 Anya grunted again ‘’Well you hurry up Lex’’

 

‘’Ok you know what, stop bitching. Lincoln and Octavia are not even here!!’’ Lexa reasoned, she knew her cousin wanted to be there before sun down to share the view with Raven.

 

In that exact moment Lincoln’s car came to a stop in front of the house. Octavia climbing out of it and running to her friends ‘’Who’s ready for a road trip bitches!!’’

 

Indra narrowed her eyes at Octavia making her gulp and turn pale ‘’I mean good morning ‘’ she said rubbing the back of her neck.

 

Raven smirked ‘’Octavia is totally screwed having Indra slash the iron woman as her mother in law’’ her smirk faded away immediately when she felt a huge hand tap her shoulder and the gruff sound of Gustus come in her ears ‘’She is going to be your mother in law too Raven’’

 

Lexa turned her head back to see if Fish is done. She whistles loudly for him ‘’Come on buddy let’s go give you that shower’’ she looked at Aden and saw him pouting ‘’ You can come too Ade’’.

 

‘’Can Clarke come too?’’ Aden said holding on to Clarke’s hand.

 

‘’Sure buddy’’ she said sharing a smile with Clarke.

 

Lexa walked inside with Clarke, Aden, and Fish in her arms. They moved to the bathroom and she put Fish in the sink, Fish whined for a bit but relaxed when Lexa started scratching his scalp. In between rinsing his furs and washing him with his special shampoo her hands kept brushing Clarke’s hand, sending shivers through her entire body every time. After the quick shower she reached for the towel but Clarke beat her to it and handed it to Lexa the two were smiling so wide it reached their ears.

 

 Aden looked at them with happy eyes, Lexa was toweling off Fish holding him tight to her while Clarke’s hands wrapped around her shoulder looking at Fish. He moved quickly and reached for his phone, after he turned off the flash he took a quick picture making sure no one would notice but it didn’t matter anyway because his big sister and Clarke were looking at each other the same way his dad and mom looked at each other. _They make such a cute family I can tell they make each other happy_ Aden thought before they left the bathroom.

 

Lexa put Fish in a blue navy jacket she had bought for him and put him back inside her own jacket making sure he wouldn't be getting cold, Clarke was sitting beside her in the passenger’s seat and Aden was in the back seat, she smiled at both of them before she started her engine ‘’ Let the fun begin’’.

 


	16. Road Trip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clexa get's all cute with Aden  
> Some unexpected stuff happenes and someone geoes swimming against their well

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow i can't believe i almost have 500 kudos and 8000 hits thank you people i hope you like this chapter
> 
> P.S :Sorry for the late update i got a nasty cold and i burned my wrist so i couldn't write :(

Lexa was enjoying the drive, the scenery in front of her was breathtaking. Green trees cascaded on both sides of the road. The sky above her was clear with no clouds. The sun was up shining it’s rays on them but it wasn’t too unkind. True, her shoulder was throbbing after the first two hours on the road but that didn’t matter because she was enjoying herself too much. A big part of that goes to Clarke and Aden who are currently debating which of Taylor Swift’s songs are the best. After 10 minutes on the road Aden began to beg her to put in his USB and she couldn’t say no to him, which is how she ended up listening to Taylor Swift for the last two hours.

 

After some time Clarke turned to Aden and started discussing which songs he prefers and if he can play any kind of musical instrument.

 

‘’No I don’t but I like to learn how to play the guitar. Although Lexie promised she will teach me the drums I still like guitar more’’ he said thoughtfully.

 

‘’I can teach you to play the guitar’’ Clarke smiled at him warmly.

 

‘’You play the guitar?’’ Lexa questioned taking her eyes off of the road for a second.

 

‘’Yes!!!!!!!!!’’ Aden exclaimed excitedly.

 

‘’Yes, I've had lessons since I was 8 years old’’ Clarke answered.

 

‘’HEY!! We can start a band’’ Aden shouted ‘’Lexie can play the drums, Clarke can play the guitar and I can sing’’ he had a cheshire cat grin ‘’Oh and Clarke can meet Taylor swift, get married then she will be Taylor Taylor ‘’ Aden laughed out loud at his own joke failing to notice the clench in his sister jaw or the fact that she looked like she was going to break the steering wheel any second. Clarke however hadn't , she cleared her throat ‘’Quite the imagination you have there kid’’.

 

The clenching and unclenching of her fists was something Lexa now began to regret because her shoulder was throbbing worse then it did two minutes ago. With one hand on the steering wheel she used the other to massage her shoulder. Not wanting anyone to notice her discomfort she started talking ‘’Wow you’re smart Doctor, who doubles as an artist and now I hear you can play the guitar. Is there something you can’t do?’’ her words came out more in awe and less as teasing.

 

‘’Swim’’ Clarke deadpanned.

 

Aden snickered from behind them and put his tiny hand on Clarke’s shoulder to get her attention ’’Don’t worry Lexa can teach you she is a great swimming instructor she taught me. Oh, Oh maybe we can go for a swim at the indoor pool?’’

 

Clarke blushed, her mind was swirling with images of Lexa in a bikini. _Now that was a sight for sore eyes_ ‘’Um sure if Lexa is willing too’’ she looked at Lexa and crossed her fingers also holding her breath in anticipation for Lexa’s answer.

 

‘’Sure it could be fun’’ Lexa said not taking her eyes off the road, playing nonchalant while in truth all she could think of was holding Clarke in the water to teach her how to swim  _of course. Damn stupid shoulder stop throbbing,_ Lexa was now squeezing on her shoulder while grinding her teeth stopping only because Fish was moving too much under her jacket ‘’Clarke do you think maybe you can feed Fish. I already prepared a bottle for him before we left ‘’.

 

‘’Okay sure’’ Clarke made a move to get Fish but stopped when she realized he was hiding himself inside Lexa’s jacket.

 

‘’We can stop at the next gas station maybe get some drinks or gummy bears’’ She smiled seeing Aden’s face light up in her rear view mirror ‘’Why don’t you call Anya and Raven to see where they are and tell them we are taking a break?’’

 

‘’Yeah, maybe they want to stop as well and I can feed Fish more properly once we stop’’ Clarke said smiling although deep down she knew why they were stopping. She had been watching Lexa ever since they started the trip. She could tell from the corner of her eyes that the young Detective was having some trouble, maybe even pain in her shoulder. She also knew Lexa was too proud to talk about it, that’s why she didn’t ask her if she was okay or how bad the pain was. By the look on Lexa’s face though, she presumed her shoulder must be hurting like hell if she was willing to stop with only two hours to go before they'd reach the Woods' ranch. Clarke pulled her phone from her jeans and dialed Raven's number.

 

Ring ring

 

Knowing Raven was in a good mood especially since Halloween was close and now the road trip, she figured she was over the moon. One down side thing is happy Raven equals very childish, very teasing Raven or what Clarke likes to call her Halloween-Raven. Over the years Clarke came to know that Halloween was Raven’s best holiday, she considered even better than Christmas -which to this date Clarke couldn’t figure out how to be possible. Halloween Raven is like a super Raven who has only one thought, well two: scare people and prank them till they shit their pants or start hyperventilating. Knowing all that, Clarke turned off the volume on her call and didn’t use the speaker, she was expecting everything other then what Raven said next.

 

The other line opened and came a very hushed seductive voice of Raven with a moan like tone ‘’Hello this is 1-800 You reached the horror car how can we help you scream on this fine day? I can direct your call to the scary goddess warrior Anyaaaa or the latina genius Rrrravennn’’ Raven finished with a purr.

 

‘’Ew, I should have never called you’’ Clarke chastised herself also making Lexa looks at her as if saying what’s wrong.

‘’I just wanted to let you know we are stopping at the gas station’’ Clarke said exasperation lacing her voice.

 

‘’Nope Clarkey we are good, don’t be too late or you will be stuck sharing a room with sexy Lexie but hey I bet you won’t mind that would you?’’ Raven said with her best evil voice followed by an evil smile that sounded a lot like Dr.Evil from one of the Austin Powers movies.

 

‘’Oh sorry I forgot it’s the annual crazy Raven day’’

 

Raven gasped in fake offense ‘’Hold your tongue young lady’’

 

‘’Raven stop it we are the same age’’ Clarke whined.

 

‘’Whatever put me on speaker Griffin’’ Raven demanded.

 

‘’Fine but behave we have a child in the car’’ she whispered the last part not wanting to offend Aden. Clarke put her phone on speaker and regretted it immediately when Raven’s voice came in.

 

‘’Sup sexy Lexie? What’s with driving like an old lady seriously mi hija my nana drives faster’’ came a hyena laugh through the speakers from both Anya and Raven.

 

To say Lexa was shocked was an understatement “I, uh, hey Raven’’

 

Clarke rolled her eyes ‘’What did I just tell you idiot’’

 

‘’Chillax I'm just messing around with Lex, you don’t have to go super protective on me’’ Raven said still laughing.

 

‘’Raven I swear…’’ Clarke didn’t get to finish her sentence because Anya was talking now.

 

‘’Sorry guys Raven had too much coffee. Anyway, why are you stopping? Is everything okay?’’ Anya said concerned.

 

‘’Yes, yes everything is fine I want to rest my legs for a bit and feed Fish is that a crime?’’ Lexa’s voice came out cold and with a bite which was not what she wanted but her shoulder was hurting like a motherfucker.

 

‘’No. No it’s not. Sorry Lex, but don’t be too long cause you know Elizabeth won’t starts lunch without you’’ Anya replied with a soft tone. Anya knew there was something up with Lexa but she knew pestering her cousin with questions wouldn't do any good so she let it go.

 

‘’Okay’’ with that she closed the phone and continued the drive until she saw a gas station and stopped there. Lexa was quick to exit the car, she went straight to her backpack knowing she must have put some pain killers in it. She handed Fish to Clarke who was standing next to her and told her to go inside with Fish and Aden and pick drinks and stuff for the road, after that she looked around making sure no one was watching her and took out two pills from the little orange bottle and shoved them in her jacket pocket before she went inside looking for water to swallow them.

 

‘’Lexie, you said I can get gummy bears right?’’ Aden asked sweetly.

 

Lexa ruffled his hair giving him a smile “Sure thing Ade anything you want” she waited for him to go before grabbing a water bottle and downing her pills unbeknownst to her that Clarke was watching her with worried eyes.

 

Lexa finally turned and walked to the cashier paying for all their stuff, she got back in the car with Clarke and Aden and handed Fish to Clarke before she pulled a bottle of milk and gave it to her in order to feed Fish.

 

Clarke was feeding Fish but her mind kept going to the conversation she had had with Raven a couple of days ago.

 

FLASH BACK

 

_Clarke was waiting for Raven in their usual coffee shop, she was cradling her coffee mug with both hands enjoying how the hot mug was warming her cold hands._

_Raven walked in and sat in front of her after giving her a quick hug “Hey Clarkey”_

_“Hi Ray How are?” Clarke smiled warmly at her best friend._

_Raven raised an eyebrow at her “Really? Drop the act and tell me what’s wrong”_

_“What?! Can’t I see my friend and enjoy a conversation with her without having an alternative motive?” When Raven kept staring at her she sighed “Fine, I wanted to talk to you about something. How do you think Lexa would feel if I said I want to stop being her Doctor?” Clarke started fiddling with her coffee mug, it was a nervous habit she didn’t know she was doing._

_“Why? Did something happen?”Raven looked at her worriedly._

_“No, No nothing like that I just….” She trailed off “I don’t know Ray to be honest I have feelings for her and I know it’s not right staying her Doctor when we have feelings for each other” Clarke dropped her head down after finishing her sentence._

_“Fair enough” Raven nodded beckoning Clarke to continue._

_“But how do you think she will take it” Clarke worried her lip._

_Raven was silent for a minute before speaking “Clarke why don’t you tell her the truth first and let her decide”._

_“I'm planning to but I want to have a second option. I don’t want her to stop getting the help she needs just because I can’t be her Doctor anymore you know” Clarke spoke truthfully_

_Raven was scratching her chin, her elbows were resting on the table and Clarke knew that look, it meant Raven figured something out. It wasn’t long before Raven broke the silence “How about you get Nyko to help? You trust him, he has years and years of experience and the guy is nice with everyone so I'm sure Lexa won’t have a problem with him" and he helped you after your dad was left unsaid but they both knew it._

_“But what if she doesn’t want anything with me after I tell her this?”_

_Raven took Clarke’s hand in her own “Clarke I believe that’s impossible. Don’t you see the heart eyes that girl gives you all the time? It’s too damn obvious you two are going to end up together so stop making excuses for yourself and for Lexa and just do it already. Honestly I don’t get it. I mean you already kissed and felt the firework and shit, what more do you need and I swear to god Clarke if I have to hear another explanation or excuse about her being your patient so help me god I will make you two go Boom !” Raven made an explosion gesture with her hands._

_“Wow Raven the wise one, I never saw that one coming” Clarke chuckled._

_“What can I say I'm a woman of many talents, also I have a bet on you and Lexa and how long it will take you to date sooo” Raven smirked_

_Clarke gasped before slapping Raven’s hand “You asshole”_

 

End Flashback

 

Clarke was brought back from her thoughts by the humming sound coming from Lexa and the light snores coming from sleeping Aden in the back seat not to mention the slurp sounds Fish was making from drinking of his milk bottle. Seeing how hungry the little pet was made her smile and the fact that Lexa kept checking on him every five minutes like a worried mother.

 

“He is a great little thing isn’t he?” Clarke asked while looking at Fish in her arms.

 

Lexa answered in a whispered hush “He is, I wake up every day to him snuggling next to me”

 

“That’s cute”

 

Clarke thought for a moment of how she could start this conversation, she figured she won’t be able to talk to Lexa in private once they reached the ranch so now was as good a time as any “Can I ask you something?”

 

Lexa hummed indicating she was listening “Sure”

 

“I want to talk about the kiss we shared” Clarke was surprised her voice didn’t break or falter.

 

Lexa moved uncomfortably in her seat, her fists on the steering wheel tightened. _Oh god this is it. She is going to tell me to fuck off._ “What about it?”

 

Clarke took a deep breath preparing herself “What did it mean to you?”

 

Lexa gulped “It felt different, a good kind of different. You kissed me back too Clarke so what did it mean to you?”

 

Clarke’s heart was beating so fast she was sure Lexa could hear it “It felt different” she smiled at Lexa “I think I want to kiss you again”

 

Lexa was not prepared for that, in her state of disbelieve she pressed on the brakes effectively stopping the car and looked at Clarke with an open mouth “You…you want to kiss me again? But if that’s so why did you stop us kissing then” Lexa tilted her head to the side in the most adorable confused state.

 

“Lexa I'm your Doctor. I don’t want to be presumptuous here but if we were to date I can no longer be your Doctor” Clarke spoke truthfully.

 

“So you stopped the kiss because you are my Doctor and not because you don’t like me the same way I do?” Lexa wanted to make sure.

 

“Of course I like you. You are adorable, how can anyone not like you” Clarke stopped herself before making more of a fool of herself, she felt her face burning but a look at Lexa showed the other girl wasn’t faring any better.

 

Lexa had on one of her lopsided smile “So how much do you like me? Are we talking creepy stalker way or enough to be my girlfriend way?”

 

“Are you asking me to be your girlfriend?” Clarke mirrored Lexa’s expression.

 

“Klarke, you know I still have a lot of issues but I'm saying I'm willing to try here if you are?” Lexa felt her hands getting sweaty. She was sure her heart had escaped her rib cage ever since Clarke started this conversation.

 

“I am” Clarke moved one hand to caress Lexa’s cheek “But if we dated you have to see a different Doctor, that’s my condition”

 

“So Doc you really like me, like me right? I mean I know we still have a long way to go and to start dating but you are willing to stick beside me until I figure everything out? No backing up?” Lexa was so nervous she started babbling.

 

“Yes!, No backing out. I want this, us, I want you” Clarke said her voice showed no sign of hesitation “But don’t think you are getting out of talking to a shrink. Once we are back I want you to meet with Nyko. He is the Doctor who helped me after my dad died”

 

 

Lexa had a wide smile on, _she is so cute when she is worried about me and oh my am I imagining things or does Clarke’s eyes seems to shine more_. “Come here” Lexa couldn’t stop herself any longer, she moved her hand behind Clarke’s neck and moved their faces closer. She rested her head on Clarke's before bumping their noses together “Are you sure?” she all but whispered.

 

“Yes, kiss me alr….” And just like that Lexa’s plump lips were on hers sending shocks of electricity through both women's bodies.

 

The kiss was soft and gentle both lips moving against each other, Lexa had been waiting so long for this and now finally she was kissing Clarke and it was way better than she had imagined. She could taste Clarke’s strawberry lip balm. As their lips pressed together more firmly, Lexa felt her soul ache for more. She opened her mouth darting her tongue out and over Clarke’s bottom lip. Clarke immediately opened her mouth and her tongue met Lexa's in a dance that took both of them to heaven. Everything became dull except for the sound of their beating hearts, Lexa pulled out to catch her breath and after a second she was back connecting her lips once again with Clarke’s. She sucked Clarke’s tongue earning a moan from the young Doctor. Her whole body was on fire, her other hand came up to Clarke’s cheek while Clarke had hers on Lexa's back playing with the baby hairs on the back of her neck.

 

Clarke felt heat run through her entire body and start to travel down between her legs. She felt like it was the fourth of July in her mouth _FUCK SHE IS A GREAT KISSER._ Her body seemed to think so too because a loud moan escaped her throat, making her eyes fly open. Clarke pulled back and looked at Aden in the back seat and for that she was thankful because Aden was waking up, she squeezed Lexa's hand whispering “Aden is awake” before she settled back in her seat.

 

Lexa bit on her lip stopping herself from smiling so much before she brought Clarke's hand to her mouth and left an open mouth kiss on it “We will continue this later” she winked before she started the car back again and drove to the ranch.

 

 

                                                                                          XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Lexa, Clarke, and Aden opened the huge wooden door and got inside, it was weird when they rang the bell and knocked but no one answered. What made it weirder though was the cars in front of the house that told Lexa her family should be here. She looked around her and saw no movement, nothing. No sounds. She looked at Clarke but the young Doctor just shrugged, they both failed to notice Aden slyly smirk and the fact he had sent out a quick text before they reached the ranch.

 

“Guys? Is anyone here?” Lexa shouted checking if maybe everyone was in their rooms but she was met with nothing but silence.

 

‘’What the hell is going on? Where is everybody?’’ Clarke asked eyes wondering everywhere, ears straining as if she was trying to hear something.

 

Aden walked to Lexa and hugged her tightly ‘’Lexa, I'm scared’’ his eyes started to water.

 

‘’Honey it’s okay. I'm sure they went out to get food or something’’ she looked at Clarke as if she’s asking her to call them only for the blonde to lift her phone up and show there is no service. She nodded her head and tried to hide her concern “Okay first things first, let’s turn on the electricity“

 

She moved to the panel next to the door noticing how Aden and Clarke were following her closely ‘’Here it goes’’ as soon as she switch it on a sound came from somewhere in the living room. She moved to see what it is only to be stopped by Aden who had a crazy look on his face ‘’Don’t’’ he hissed at her “What if it’s a ghost’’

 

Lexa laughed “Okayyy you watch too much tv little brother’’ she looked back at a green looking Clarke ‘’Hey Doc don’t tell me you are afraid of ghosts?’’ she tried to make a joke to break all the tense atmosphere that suddenly surrounded them.

 

Clarke shook her head “Ghosts no, people maybe’’ she gulped

 

All the three of them and Fish walked to where the noise where coming from and soon stopped dead in their tracks with wide eyes and opened mouths as they looked at the television. There was a video of their family members, all of them tied to chairs with gags and blindfolds. A sob came out from somewhere that made Lexa look up and lock eyes with a very shaking Aden and still very much shell shocked Clarke.

 

‘’Lexa!!! What is going on” Aden shouted “We need to get out of here come on” He said dragging both Clarke and Lexa along with him.

 

As soon as they reached the door a loud thud was heard and suddenly the door was closed shut in their faces, they turned around and walked back to the living room.

 

“It must be a joke, someone is joking with us BUT IT’S NOT FUNNY!!’’ Clarke yelled the last part, she hugged Aden tightly making sure to keep the boy feeling safe, _Fuck i can’t believe I just kissed a goddess to end up dying after an hour._

 

Lexa was behind her opening and closing cabinet after cabinet, she cursed under her breath when she couldn’t find any guns in the house. Her mind was going a thousand miles per second, the only thought stuck was that maybe it’s Emerson. The fucker may have gotten here and now was holding her family for revenge _. I swear to god if it’s you Emerson I am going to tear you apart limb from limb, fuck!! I forgot what that Dax guy told me. A_  hand on her elbow stopped her thoughts and brought her back to reality, she looked up and saw Clarke’s concerned blue eyes bore in to her.

 

‘’You okay?’’ Clarke asked concern dripping from her voice.

 

‘’Yes’’ she nodded her head confidently “If anything happens you stay behind me and as soon as those doors open you run out with Aden and Fish you got that?’’ Her voice took on a commanding tone, she gave Fish to Clarke.

 

‘’What? What about you? I'm not leaving you here, are you out of your mind?’’ Clarke defined looking at her like she grow a second head.

 

‘’Look I'm a cop I do this for a living, just listen to me and do exactly what I say’’ Lexa smiled weakly. _No matter what happens to me I won’t let anyone touch Aden or Clarke, I will fucking kill anyone who tries to even take a step towards them._

 

‘’Right well miss cop I don’t see any gun on you and your shoulder has been hurting you like hell so I don’t see how there is any way you could fight” Clarke’s eyes were filled with fire and ferocity making her point to Lexa.

 

Lexa rolled her eyes, _how the hell did she know about that!!! I thought I was being careful_ “You forgot to mention extreme stubbornness is one of your qualities. But don’t worry I’ve been through worse’’

 

‘’How gentle of you to worry about you people Detective’’ Came an altered voice through the television it was clear the man or woman were using something to hide how they really sounds like. They also had a mask to cover their face _a fucking clown mask. GREAT_

 

Lexa raised an eyebrow at the television noticing a camera to the corner of the room were on and following every step “Seriously? Look games are not my thing, why don’t you show yourself and then we can talk”

 

The person with a mask click their tongues as if they were taunting her ‘’Nice try Detective but I won’t make it that easy for you’’

 

‘’Aren’t you the smartest one of them all. Look asshole, you have my family it’s not like I can do anything to you’’ She said in a stern voice.

 

‘’Maybe it’s not the best idea to talk back at a fucking guy in a mask who has our family, don’t you think so’’ Clarke whispered in her ears.

 

‘’Let’s play a game shall we Detective” The mask person spoke again with a mocking tone.

 

‘’Yeah? Why don’t you come out here and I can play whack a mole with your head’’ she said voice rising and eyes narrowing watching her surrounding carefully, She had one hand shielding Clarke and Aden behind her while the other was balled into a fist, she turned making sure the camera wasn’t showing her lips before she whispered to Clarke “Remember what I say once those doors open you run like hell” she squeezed Clarke’s hand before nodding.

 

Clarke shook her head, _no way I'm not leaving you I just found you,_ squeezed Lexa’a hand shaking her head.

 

‘’You asked for it’’ The person screamed and out of nowhere the door behind them opened allowing a couple of people to enter, all of them wearing masks.

 

Lexa's eyes hardened she pushed herself backwards until she was sure the wall was behind Clarke’s and Aden’s back and she was in the front protecting them. _Damn it there is no way Clarke and Aden can leave now._  She could tell the people were approaching slowly so she kneeled on the floor and pulled her combat knife from her boat and hid it in her sleeve, in her peripheral vision she noticed someone approaching from her left but she didn’t have the time, the person came yelling but got knocked on their ass by Clarke’s right hook. If they were in any different circumstances she would stand up and kiss the hell out of her. She looked with awe as she saw Clarke standing beside her shielding Aden. She smiled fondly and then shook her head to focus on what was happening . Someone came in front of her and she saw an opening, she kneed the other person in the stomach before she took a hold of them and put her knife on their throat ‘’Okay fuckers, out of the way or this one dies’’

 

A whine got her attention, the person on the floor now holding their nose and crying profanities “Stop!!, Fucking stop!” All the people around them seemed to stand back for now the person on the floor lifted their mask slowly revealing none other than Raven fucking Reyes ‘’Happy fucking Halloween. Okay what normal person punches a masked person, more so who is crazy enough to talk back to a kidnapper and probably a killer _and_ where the hell have you been hiding your knife for fuck sake’’

 

Aden chuckled nervously from behind her “Sorry guys Raven promised a year of chocolate chip cookies. I couldn’t say no to that she also promised to get me all the Naruto Shippuden books so’’

 

Clarke was looking relieved especially after everyone took off their masks showing their faces. It were their family members and they were okay, well except a very much bleeding Raven on the floor, all of them chuckling or laughing at Raven’s whining and all the blood coming out of her nose. She kneeled in front of her friend with her mother to check on Raven’s nose ‘’Clarke remind me to change your name to Mike Tyson Griffin in my phone” She chuckled but winced immediately after feeling pain shooting through her nose and head.

 

“You deserved it. You really got us scared” Clarke deadpanned.

 

Raven looked up and saw Lexa was still holding Anya in a chock hold with a knife to her throat, both fists looked white from how hard she was squeezing them, her eyes were icy cold and her jaw was clenched so tight she was sure her teeth will break any minute “Hey Sexy Lexie the party is over didn’t you get the note. It was a prank for Halloween’’

 

That got everyone’s attention, all the laughter died down quickly and everyone was looking at Lexa. The whole living room fell silent. The look on Lexa’s face said it all, she was not impressed. Lexa finally let go of the person who she was holding a knife to their throat well let go is not exactly right, she pushed them hard enough to knock them to the floor and her icy death glare was even worse then before if that was possible when she found out it was Anya.

 

Raven gulped at that. She knew she went too far but it was Halloween and she thought everyone would have a good time with the prank and maybe talking about it everytime they got together for years to come.

 

Lexa surprised everyone by clasping her hands” Ridiculous, I mean Anya went a long with the stupid idea because it’s her girlfriend but you” she gestured at everyone “Whatever I'm heading out” she spat.

 

“Hey Lexa we were having fun don’t be like that, come on stay” Anya grabbed Lexa’s wrist.

 

Lexa swatted Anya’s hands away giving her a serious look “Don’t touch me right now because I don’t want to accidently kill you”

 

Elizabeth moved closer to her daughter “Alexandria it was a joke don’t take it too far”

 

Lexa looked at her mother disbelievingly “Me?! I'm taking it too far? Oh mother I can take it a lot further”

 

Alexander came to his wife’s aid “Maybe Alexandria is too tired from the trip, let her rest”

 

“Alexandria can speak for herself” Lexa retorted she was like an animal let loose all she wanted to do was break something or hit someone.

 

“Sorry Lexa I didn’t mean to take it too far” Raven apologized sincerely.

 

“Oh don’t be maybe next time you could tie me to a chair and kill someone in front of me. How does that sound?’’ She asked sarcastically. Images of Costia screaming, of her screaming filled her mind.

 

Everyone stiffened at that. Most of them knowing bits and pieces from that horrible night seven month ago, Anya stood from the floor and took a step closer to Lexa intending on giving her cousin a hug only to have Lexa push her against the wall and punch it next to her head before storming out.

 

“I’ll go after her” Clarke spoke through everyone’s state of shock.

 

Clarke walked out of the door and saw Lexa’s retreating figure heading to the lake, she followed closely behind until she saw her sit down directly in front of the lake. She debated if she should interrupt Lexa for about 15 minutes but then made up her mind and walked up to her.

 

‘’Do you mind if I join you?’’ She asked in a soft voice. Clarke waited for Lexa’s confirmation to sit.

 

‘’If it’s any consolation I think I broke Raven’s nose’’ She tried to lighten the mood.

 

Lexa smiled at that “It does yeah. But I was also a jerk I shouldn’t have acted the way I did, they were just messing around on Halloween, I should have known better”

 

“True, but that doesn’t mean they didn’t take it too far” Clarke reassured.

 

Lexa took a deep breath “They don’t know….What I told you about that night, no one knows”

 

“I see. You had a flashback didn’t you” Clarke said more of a statement than a question.

 

“How did you know?” Lexa wondered.

 

“You forget that I'm a psychologist, also I know you pretty well. That look you had on your face when we saw everyone tied up said it all. Look it’s okay I know how it feels, when you lose someone it stays with you, especially when it’s in a tragic way. Every little thing can trigger you, all the little moments of happiness you shared with them can flash back to you, and every time you feel like you moved on something happens that makes your world come crashing down. Trust me I’ve been there” At some point in the conversation Clarke’s hand ended up intertwined with Lexa’s.

 

Lexa leaned her head on Clarke’s shoulder “What did I ever do to deserve you Clarke”

 

Clarke lifted her hand up to Lexa’s hair and ran her fingers through it, it was a comforting gesture to calm the young Detective down and she could feel it was working when she felt Lexa’s body relax against her “You are pretty great yourself Lexa”

 

“I’ll take your word for it” Lexa sighed deeply.

 

Clarke put her fingers under Lexa’s chin and lifted it up to make sure their eyes locked together “Tell me what’s wrong. I know there is something on your mind”

 

“You are right, do you remember what I told you about that night? How I ….. how I killed Costia’s brother? The thing is, his right hand man Carl Emerson was there too but he escaped after I shot Cage”

 

 Clarke pulled Lexa closer to her hugging her tightly “Okay”

 

“I thought it was him back there, coming to take his bound of flesh, his revenge. A part of me always knew that would happen but I never want my family to get involved in any of this” Lexa leaned closer burying her face in Clarke’s neck and inhaling Clarke’s perfume and her vanilla shampoo it was so soothing for Lexa she couldn’t even describe why and how.

 

“Don’t talk like that” Clarke spoke softly in her ear, her hands now rubbing circles on Lexa’s back soothingly. The mere act of being able to comfort Lexa was enough to warm her heart and for her stomach to do somersaults.

 

Lexa sneaked one of her hands around Clarke’s waist “But it’s true. I killed someone cold-heartedly. I'm a monster, my day of reckoning will come sooner or later”

 

“Hey listen to me what we do to survive does not define us. Who we are and who we need to be to survive are two very different things but _you_ are not a monster. You could never be one. In fact you are the furthest thing from it. You are honorable, kind, loyal, beautiful, and smart, and most of all you are a good person do you hear me?” Clarke spoke with assurance.

 

Lexa giggled lightly before kissing Clarke’s neck, she kissed all the way behind her ear and then back to her neck again.

 

“Ahh, Lexa” Clarke shuddered feeling Lexa’s lips on her neck were making her dizzy.

 

 

A voice from behind them made them both freeze and turn their heads around. They saw a very guilty looking Raven and Anya.

 

“I'm sorry” Raven said not meeting their eyes “I thought it would be funny to scare you. I understand if you want to punch me too though my nose is still hurting from Clarke’s mean right hook” she finished with giving a jab to Anya’s torso.

 

“Yes what she said, we are sorry. You can totally throw Raven in the lake if you want too” Anya was shuffling uncomfortably on her feet.

 

“Hey!!!” Raven yelled.

 

“What? Well babe you are the one who wanted to prank them so” Anya shrugged.

 

“Whatever” Raven turned her attention back to Clarke and Lexa “Did we interrupt anything?”

 

“No!!” Both women yelled in unison, both their cheeks tinted a deep red.

 

Raven smirked at the apparent denial “I see”

 

An idea popped in Clarke’s head “Hey Ray come see the lake I think I saw something in the water but I can’t tell for sure” she winked at Lexa, _you are so going down Raven._

 

Lexa shared a smile with Clarke, _I like the way you are thinking._ “Yeah, Anya what do you think?” she stands up, pulling Clarke with her.

 

Anya and Raven moved closer to the lake looking deeply to spot what Lexa and Carke were talking about. Raven spoke first “Leave it to me the genius will spot…”

 

SPLASH!!!

 

Raven’s words were cut off by the sudden hands on her back pushing her in the freezing cold water with Anya falling in it behind her, she turned around in time and grabbed Clarke making her fall with her.

 

Lexa’s laughter was echoing in the empty space but soon stopped and turned to a scared scream once she saw Clarke fall in the water. Without any second thoughts or hesitation she jumped in and swam over to Clarke, grabbing her tightly and swimming with her to the surface “Fucking hell!! Raven! Clarke doesn’t know how to swim”

 

Clarke smiled at the worried look Lexa gave her, she hugged Lexa tightly whispering in her ear “You are my hero, I can’t believe you jumped in frozen cold water after me”

 

Lexa grinned looking at her “Get used to it, because I would never leave you. It’s us against the world”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think is it too fast for them to end uo together ?


	17. Crazy Stupid Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get to see Anya's thought about Halloween 
> 
> Sweet Clexa moments and kisses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy reading :)

Everyone was enjoying themselves sitting in the living room in front of the fire place, they were all drinking hot chocolate and discussing the coming party. Aden sat on the floor playing with Fish, Lincoln and Octavia were sharing a love seat, to their right Clarke and Lexa sat whispering and laughing every couple of minutes with their knees pumping against each other while all the grownups were scattered around the huge living room talking animatedly with each other with Elizabeth steeling glances at her daughter every now and then and whispering to Alexnader about how cute her daughter is being.

  


Everyone was happy except for Raven who was laying on the couch with Anya at her feet  sneezing every 20 seconds, and she was covered with dozens of covers and somehow she still managed to feel cold. The worst thing is her nose was still bruised from Clarke’s punch and she had a mean black eye.

 

 she turned her head to the left glaring at a smiling Clarke and Lexa “Assholes laugh now because as soon as am better am going after your assess”

 

“What was that Raven? I couldn’t hear you from all the sneezing and dying hyena noises you are making” Clarke smirked finally being able to teas Raven back

 

“You suck” Raven pouted

 

“Don’t listen to her babe your voice sounds like angels “Anya said rubbing Raven’s leg to try and comfort her

 

Lexa smirked at them making whipping sounds before she added “Whipped” in a loud whisper making everyone laugh

 

“You know this is all you fault you two pushed us in the damn lake like it’s not enough Clarke already mutilated my poor face” Raven glared at them

 

“Sorry to say this Raven but you brought it on yourself, that crap you pulled on Halloween was not funny at all, besides you are a grown ass woman you need to stop getting this excited for Halloween” Clarke interjected

 

“Me?!” Raven shrieked “What about Lexa over here who insisted on having a gazillion pumpkin curved just so she could use her damn candles and who the hell has a box of candles ready in their cars at all times”

 

Anya snickered from next to her “Yeah Lexa and candles is the greatest love story it’s better than Romeo and Juliet”

 

“Dude Romeo and Juliet were suckers they thought dying is the best way to prove their love which is completely stupid if you ask me” Octavia chimed in

 

Clarke nodded “I agree they should have fought better for their love”

 

Lexa’s face was turning bright red from embarrassment at Raven’s comment, not noticing the change of subjects “seriously? Even when you are sick and can barely talk you still want to teas and make fun of others”

 

Raven laughed at that “What can I do it’s a gift, like how I can’t stop myself from saying something about you and Clarke’s heart eyes. Bom how is that?” she made a gesture of dropping a mic on the floor

 

Clarke was taken aback before she had a devious look on her face looking at Raven as if telling her you started it “Raven do you remember that huge crush you had on my mother when we were at high school?”

 

Both Raven and Anya gasped at that, the room fell silent in the exact same moment Clarke said those words, every one staring at Raven

 

Raven’s eyes went from Abby to gauge her reaction then to Anya while her fingers started rubbing her neck “I, uh, I “

 

“Damn a speechless Raven Reyes now that’s something I never thought I’d ever see” Octavia spoke from her place next to Lincoln making everyone laugh

 

Raven was fiddling with her hands until Anya’s hand came on top of it and stopped the movement “It’s okay babe we all have that one extremely inappropriate crush in our teens” Anya smiled reassuringly she didn’t want her girlfriend to feel bad about something that happened ages ago, beside it was just a teenage crush

 

 

“Clarke honey next time you want to take your revenge on Raven please leave me out of it “ Abby said teasingly but also trying to stop Raven from dying of embarrassment cause by the looks of it she was going to have a heart attack any second now

 

“Well do “ Clarke laughed wholeheartedly

 

Raven who seems to have her voice back finally speaks “Okay first of all I was a teenager second you can’t really blame me your mom is hot” she finish her sentence and burst out laughing from the horrified look on Clarke’s face only for her laughing to turn into a coughing fit

 

“On a totally different note where did you film that video you played on the tv” Lexa questioned seriously, _it felt so real how can I not know it wasn’t_ she thought

 

Anya face fell off at hearing Lexa’s words she felt like she couldn’t breathe and stood up from the couch so fast she actually startled Raven “Am sorry am going to the kitchen to get some water”

 

Raven smirked not noticing her girlfriend’s discomfort “If you must know dear Lexie we filmed the whole thing in ridiculously expensive sex dungeon”

 

“I shouldn’t have even asked” Lexa shook her head

 

Clarke who was impossibly close to Lexa whispered in her ear” I think there is something wrong with Anya, Did you talk to her after the prank?”

 

Lexa responded immediately in the same whispering tone “Yeah I noticed that too but I already told her am fine now”

 

“Maybe ask her again?” Clarke added, being a psychologist really helped her at reading people and she could sense that Anya was feeling guilty about how things turned out after the prank

 

“Sure thing Doc, how did I ever get so lucky you are such a caring person and if we were alone I would have kissed you by now” Lexa said and stood up quickly noticing the blush that was creeping on Clarke’s face

 

                                       XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Lexa walks into the kitchen to find Anya looking out of the window seemingly lost in her thoughts with a sad look on her face “What you doing there An” when Anya doesn’t answer her Lexa moves closer to her dropping one hand at her cousins shoulder “Hey are you okay?”

 

Anya turns around to meet Lexa’s gaze and in that moment Lexa is too shocked to talk, Anya had watery puffy eyes and red cheeks “An what’s wrong?”

 

Anya tries to look nonchalant but fails miserably “What do you mean?” she asked not meeting Lexa’s eyes

 

“Okay something must be really wrong if you are refusing to meet my eyes” Lexa whipsred softly making sure not to agitate her distressed cousin even more

 

“it’s nothing” Anya turned around staring back out of the window

 

 “Well if that’s true then you wouldn’t mind looking at me “ after along minute Anya turned around, her tears were now running freely. Lexa went to her cousin immediately wiping her tears away “Hey talk to me, is this got anything to do with Raven? is it work? I have only seen you cry once before and that was when I woke up in the hospital so tell me what’s got you crying now, Please”

 

Anya shook her head “ God Lexa I was such an idiot I thought it was funny that you would see the video and masks and burst out laughing calling bullshit on the prank” Anya throw herself at Lexa sobbing “ Am so sorry , am so so so sorry please I didn’t mean for you to feel hurt, I thought” she sniffled “I thought …… it’s Halloween I thought you would figure out it was a prank oh god please forgive me, it was not suppose to be like this. Raven and Aden were so exited but I should have known better”

 

 

Lexa’s heart broke for her cousin, Anya was such a strong woman and even now crying and showing her emotions it only showed her strength even more “Anya there is nothing to forgive. You are my sister true very annoying and bossy sister but sister none the less and I could never hate you” Lexa rubbed Anya’s back soothingly

 

“Am sorry I swear I didn’t know you would react this way, I thought huh Lexa is going to laugh so hard for all the effort we made and how stupid we looked in those masks” Anya hugged her tightly

 

“Come on now stop crying, I only reacted this way because it brought back memory from that night” Lexa said she before she took a deep breath knowing it was time to share what happened to her that night. She knew she couldn’t blame them for the prank since none of them knew what happened to her

 

“Come on there is something I need to tell you” She pulled from the hug and grabbed Anya’s hand and lead her to the kitchen table, he heart was racing in her chest fearing that Anya might never look at her the same way after what she was about to tell her, but deep down she knew she could trusts Anya completely.

 

After they sat down Lexa kept her hands on Anya’s hand and started to tell her what happened from the moment she took the undercover assignment until the moment Anya showed up in her apartment

 

Anya felt shivers wracking her whole body as Lexa continued to tell her story, she waited until Lexa finished to speak “ I should have protected you, when you first said you were going to the polis academy I made a promise to protect you in front of our family but I failed you. I failed you more than once and am disappointed in myself and now I agreed to this stupid prank who brought all these bad memories to you and I can never take it back but I promise I will try to be better and no matter what Lexa I will always be with you and have your back” Anya promised with conviction, her admiration for Lexa reaching a new level after she knew all the shit that happened to her

 

Lexa smiled at her “You didn’t fail me and you are most definitely not a disappointment, haven’t you figure out that after all these years you are the one I look up to the most”

 

Anya shook her head “Am not worthy of that Lexa and to be honest it’s the other way around, even if am older I always looked at to you. You are a leader Lexa and am happy to be just one of your generals”

 

“Wow maybe I should record that so I could use it next time we have a mission” Lexa laughed and hugged her cousin “You are getting soft in your old age”

 

“Oh right and about that Emerson guy you don’t need to worry if he ever shows up am going to kill him and that’s a promise I intend to keep little cousin” Anya added her eyes shows the anger she felt when she spoke Emerson’s name “Also I wanted to thank you for trusting me and sharing what happened that night”

 

“Actually you are the second person I told about this” Lexa confessed she didn’t know why but it felt like her heart was healing pieces were finally coming together and she felt lighter after telling Anya about what happened

 

“You did??!!” Anya looked at her with wide eyes “Wow did that person drug you or something”

 

“Jerk no one drugged me or did anything to me I just felt I could trust that person and I shared what happened with my own free will”

 

Anya smiled knowingly “Clarke”

 

“Yeah” Lexa answered scratching her neck “Now go back to your girlfriend”

 

“Yes ma’am” Anya answered before walking away

 

Lexa stood up and went to cabinet, I _should probably cook some soup for Raven she looked really sick and it’s kind of my fault._ She smiled remembering how she and Clarke pushed Raven and Anya into the freezing cold water, Lexa continued to rummage through the cabinets until she has everything she need on the counter next to her, she decided on a vegetable chicken soup and she was now looking for pans and a chopping board.

 

 Lexa was so concentrated on cooking she didn’t notice Clarke was standing at the doorway watching her with a smile on her face, that’s why Lexa got startled when she felt arms wrap around her

 

“So what is the chief cooking for us today” Clarke nuzzled her face between Lexa’s shoulder blade

 

Lexa melted in Clarke’s hands and pushed her back further in to Clarke “Well am trying to make some soup for Raven to help her get better”

 

Clarke squealed “Oh my god why are you so sweet”

 

Lexa smiled shyly “Thank you”

 

“Are you blushing? You are so adorable” Clarke added leaving kisses on Lexa’s shoulder blade

 

Lexa turns to face Clarke putting her hands on the other girl’s waist “ You know just because i said am not ready doesn’t mean we can’t kiss properly”

 

“Oh is that so?” Clarke smirked

 

Lexa smile widened before she lifted Clarke to the kitchen counter and pushed all the soup ingredients to the side earning herself a yelp from Clarke that quickly turned into a whimper as soon as their lips meet.

 

The kiss was soft and tender,  comforting in ways word could never be, their lips brushing against each other Lexa wanted to pull away for air but Clarke’s intoxicating smell were flowing through her nostrils making her lose herself in the kiss. Clarke broke the kiss first leaning her head on Lexa’s “I’ll never get tired of kissing you”

 

Lexa didn’t trust herself to speak so she only nodded her head before she re captured Clarke’s lips between her own, for her everything faded out of existence and the only important thing now was Clarke and her godly lips, if she thought the first kiss was amazing the second was far beyond that, she was left speechless with her heart and body shaking from the passionate kiss, Lexa’s thumb came to Clarke’s face caressing her cheeks while they kissed

 

Clarke felt the world fades away, Lexa was kissing her with so much care and tender but at the same time with passion and devotion. Like somehow she was a goddess and the only way Lexa knew how to worship her is by kissing her lips, Clarke ran her fingers over Lexa’s spine pulling her impossibly closer until there was no space left between them, she gasped slightly feeling the burn in her lungs from the need for air . She was chest to chest with the woman who undoubtedly stole not only her heart but also her soul.

 

Lexa tilted her head deepening the kiss more, her tongue swapping over Clarke’s lips asking entrance before diving into Clarke’s mouth and meeting her tongue. Lexa swirled her tongue over Clarke’s before she dragged over her mouth roof earning a moan from Clarke. Lexa broke the kiss and looked at Clarke with wide eyes and blown pupils “Shushhh, if we are doing this you need to be quite”

 

Clarke smiled biting her alreadt swollen lips “I can’t help it if you keep doing that, now come here” Clarke pulled Lexa to her again their kisses getting more passionate and hot by the second, her entire body was on fire, _what are you doing to me_

 

 

Lexa felt her head spin and she was certain from the moment her lips touched Clarke’s that she will be an addict which now turns out to be more then true, She couldn’t get enough. Her hands twitched to touch Clarke more to ran her hands all over her body, to kiss and touch every inch of Clarke’s body, _My god am thinking about taking her right here and now and all our family members are outside_

Lexa kept kissing Clarke with fever until Clarke moaned again louder this time and Lexa could feel that moan reverberating inside her core “Okay we really need to stop unless we want to get caught”

 

Clarke gave her a little pout “Fine”

 

Lexa smiled at how adorable Clarke looked and gave her a quick peck on the lip before she moved back and turned to stove “Now are you going to help me with this soup or what?”

 

Clarke seems to think about for a minute “What do I get for helping you?”

 

“I’ll take you to see the town and maybe a lot more kisses when we are alone” Lexa smiled a little

 

“Okay sure“ Clarke move from the counter and came next to Lexa to help her, the two of them kept smiling and stealing glances of each other while making the soup

 

                                    XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Lexa and Clarke walked in to the living room with two bowls of soup before they dropped it on the coffee table in front of Raven

 

Raven’s eyes lit up “Are those for me?” she asked her voice was raspy from all the coughing

 

“One for you and one for Anya” Lexa nodded

 

 Raven scratched her nose with the palm of her hand before speaking “You are the best Lexie”

 

Octavia narrowed her eyes at Lexa and Clarke “why don’t I and Linc get some?”

 

“You are not sick O” Clarke replied

 

“Hey Octavia if you want to have some there more in the kitchen I actually made enough for all of us” Lexa

 

“Now you are talking” Octavia stood up grabbing Lincoln’s arm pulling him with her

 

Lexa and Clarke took their place back in the love chair and dropped a blanket over themselves, the both smile at each other when they interlaced the fingers together “Tomorrow we can go to town if you like”

 

Elizabeth came from behind them looking at the two smiling woman, they were both acting giddy “Hey you two what are you whispering about” she gave her daughter a kiss on the forehead

 

“Mom I was telling Clarke about the town and how we can go tomorrow morning if she’d like” Lexa answered immediately feeling her cheeks ting with red

 

“My sweet child you are so kind” she leaned closer to whisper in Lexa’s ear”You might want to stop squeezing Clarke’s hand under the blankets though because she looks like she is about to cry”

 

Lexa’s eyes widened and her mouth fell open “Mom!!, you need to stop doing that”

 

“Young love” Elizabeth whispered exasperated

 

“Mom” Lexa warned exasperated

 

“Fine, fine” she pulled back before she turned her attention to Clarke “Honey all the rooms are taken do you mind sharing with Lexa?”

 

Clarke replay came way to fast “No!!, uhmm I mean no it’s okay”

 

Elizabeth shared an amused look with all the older generation before she nodded and walked away before patting both Clarke and Lexa’s head in a motherly way

 

Lincoln ever the calm one spoke “Lex, can we come too”

 

Lexa looked over at Clarke then nodded reluctantly “Sure the more the merrier”

 

Octavia noticed the look of disappointment on both Clarke and Lexa’s faces and smiled a little “We are going to have some much fun guys”

 

                            XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Aden and Anya were helping Raven up the stairs to her room, after hours of suffering with her body temperature not knowing if she is cold or hot and coughing every minute leaving her throat dry and sore she was finally feeling a little better all thanks to Lexa* super soup* that’s what Raven dobbed the soup name is. Raven was finally feeling sleepy “Don’t let me fall guys” Raven croaked out

 

“Don’t worry baby I’ve got you” Anya squeezed her waist gently

 

“Yeah Raven you are not that heavy” Aden gave her a toothy grin

 

“Jee thanks kid” Raven decided to take that as a compliment

 

They reached the bedroom and put Raven on the bed, Anya brought more covers and put than on Ravens legs in case she got cold at night  

 

“Thank for the help kido” Anya said dropping herself next to Raven on the bed

 

Aden sighed “It’s okay I had nothing else to do”

 

Raven and Anya shared an amused look before Raven spoke “Oh why is that so Aden?”

 

He sat on the chair across from them “Well Fish wanted to stay with Lexa and Lexa wants to stay with her girlfriend”

 

Raven peaked at this “Girlfriend?” she looked at him questioningly

 

“Yeah you know Clarke” he said like it’s the most obvious thing in the world

 

Anya interrupted quickly “Aden they are just friends you know that”

 

“No Anya they were kissing I saw them with my own eyes” he whispered and turned his head around as if to make sure no one can hear him

 

“They were what!!!” Raven pushed herself from the bed in a sitting position

 

“Raven no I know that look it’s not our business wasn’t the Halloween fiasco enough for you” Anya spoke sternly

 

“Babe am not doing anything am just having a conversation with Aden” Raven then turned to face him “Continue my little man”

 

Aden puffed his chest out before continuing “So I wasn’t sneaking around or anything I just went to the kitchen to get some water for Fish and there was Lexa kissing Clarke well more like sucking her face” he pulled his face into a grimace

 

Raven erupted in laughter at hearing Aden’s words “I see”

 

Anya shook her head at her girlfriend “Ade you can’t tell anyone”

 

“I know that am not stupid I didn’t tell anyone but you two” Aden replied quickly “But can I at least say how cute they are, I mean Lexa looks so happy”

 

Raven looked at Aden with a pout “What about me and Anya?”

 

Aden gave her a lopsided smile “You two are the less adult version and the more cool type”

 

“Aden my man I knew I liked you for a reason” Raven concluded

 

 

                           XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Lexa and Clarke entered their shared room and closed the door behind them the two were grinning at each other like idiots, “So” Clarke spoke first ”Which side of the bed do you usually sleep on”

 

“I kind of sleep in the middle” Lexa answered thoughtfully

 

“Well I kind of sleep in the middle too so I guess we have to work on that” Clarke sat on the bed crossing her legs in front of her

 

“You are enjoying this too much” Lexa eyed her

 

“I can’t help it we are finally alone” Clarke smiled

 

“Okay we can cuddle if you want” Lexa said seriously

 

“That is very generous of you” Clarke added teasingly

 

“Mocking isn’t the product of a strong mind Clarke” Lexa shook her head

 

“Whatever you say Lex, now go change and let’s go to bed” Clarke knew they won’t do anything because they just talked about how Lexa wasn’t ready and she didn’t want to pressure her into anything she isn’t comfortable with so she took her pajama from her duffle bag and headed to the bathroom to change there, giving Lexa complete privacy to change in her room

 

When Clarke walked back Lexa was already dressed in a cute raccoon boxers and a grey tank top that also had a raccoon on it.  She tried her best not to laugh at Lexa’s choices in boxers but couldn’t suppress it well enough and a giggle escaped her lips

 

Lexa head turned over to the giggling noise and was meet by Clarke looking adorable in her lion pajama “You look adorable”

 

Clarke ran a hand through her hair “I was about to say the same thing”

 

“No but you are cutter” Lexa said standing next to the bed

 

“No am not” Clarke shook her head getting into bed

 

“Yes, you are” Lexa emphasize lying in bed

 

“Am not” Clarke answered joining her in bed

 

“Clarke” she warned her

“Lexa” Clarke imitated Lexa’s scolding tone

 

Lexa turned in bed facing Clarke who mirrored the same action “I said you look cutter”

 

“And I said you are the one who’s cutter”

 

Lexa’s eyes sparkled in mischief  “I see how it is, I guess I just have to make you see reason” Lexa didn’t give a chance for Clarke to think about her words, in a blink of an eyes her arms stretched to Clarke’s stomach and was tickling

 

“Lexa!!!! Hahhhhaha puhahah stop hauhahahaha, LEXA!!” Clarke couldn’t stop the assault of Lexa’s fingers because she was laughing way too hard

 

Lexa smirked and got on top of Clarke to get a better access “Admit it, you are cutter”

 

Clarke was panting at this point “No you are puhahahahahah cutter hahahahah”

 

Lexa leaned closer and for a moment she stopped her movement, too mesmerized by Clarke’s  a blazing iris blue that was staring right back into her grey green eyes, she took a deep breath and her hand came up to Clarke’s cheek “You are so beautiful” she whispered

 

Clarke was panting and breathing heavily, she locked eyes with Lexa and saw the sincerity behind her words, her stomach flipped over in the best way possible and she started to think that no matter how many times she looked at Lexa’s eyes or kissed her, it always took her breath away just being with this amazing person. Clarke hand moved behind Lexa neck and she brought their lips together in a passionate kiss hoping her lips would speak the words she can’t bring herself to say yet

 

Lexa felt light headed they kissed for minutes but to Lexa it felt like seconds or maybe decades, the concept of time always faded when she is with Clarke and she didn’t know why she felt like she was about to cry. She pulled back “I think I..” she stopped herself _I think am falling in love with you_

Clarke looked at her curiously “You okay?”

 

Lexa smiled weakly “Yeah, I just think we should go to sleep. We are going to town early” with that she pushed herself to, her side her head on the pillow only few inches away from Clarke’s

 

“Good night Lexa” Clarke said feeling content

 

Lexa pushed herself on her elbows to kiss Clarke’s head then laid back “Good night Klarke” she hugged her tight and Clarke turned over to be her little spoon. Lexa curled herself around her from behind tangling their feet together and wrapping one hand around Clarke’s waist while the other was under Clarke’s pillow. She checked on Fish who was sleeping in his own tiny bed next to their's and falled a sleep feeling more content then she felt in a very long time 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what do you think guys? all feedback is appreciated


	18. A Blast From the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clexa goes shopping with Aden and Fish what could go wrong right?  
> A lot of confession 
> 
> TW: mention of a panic attack in the second part of the chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!! to all you amazing people out there, I know it's been a while but i went on a business trip then took along ass vecation to visit mt sister, and let me tell you this my three year old nephew is a little energy ball who refused to let me any where near my laptop or phone. He actually hid all my electronic devices to make sure i sepnd all my times playing with him. thus for i couldn't update so sorry.
> 
> i hope you enjoy the chapter

Lexa and Clarke were walking around town with Fish walking next to them while their companions were walking a bit ahead of them. Every now and then Fish would see a pigeon and tries to go after it wiggling his tail excitedly, making Lexa jump to action picking him up and reprimanding him for going off the pedestrian and into the traffic.

 

 

Clarke was watching the two of them feeling her hear swell, Lexa would talk to Fish telling him what he is doing is bad and Fish the adorable little golden retriever would put his claws up covering his eyes like a sad baby as if he actually understood what Lexa is telling him, _so fucking cute._ The sight was enough to warm the coldest heart according to Clarke, her Lexa with that scolding look on her face was so incredibly hot there was no freaking words to describe it. _Wow my Lexa!!!._ Clarke wanted to do a victory dance in the middle of the road as the words kept echoing in her mind

 

 

Aden’s voice snapped her back to reality. He showed up next to them getting their attention “Lex, Lexa please can we go inside this store?” he pointed to the art store in front of them with the best puppy dog eyes he could master

 

“Yes!!” Clarke exclaimed happily high fiving Aden

 

“I guess we are going in then” Lexa huffed at the two of them but smiled internally at the excitement radiating from both Clarke and Aden even Fish was barking happily and clawing at Lexa’s hand to follow the other two grinning people

 

The shop wasn’t big per say but it had everything an artist might need, big shelves on both side holding stuff ranging from paint brushes to chalks to even canvas. To the far end of the shop were a lot of easels and in the middle stood a little shelves holding everything kids might use for drawing and paintings. There was coloring books with little coloring pens next to small boxes of play dough.

 

Lexa saw Aden going from shelve to shelve and took the opportunity to get closer to Clarke, She walked right next to her and wrapped her pinky around Clarke’s hoping no one would see the little gesture “So when are you going to show me more of your art”. The huskiness of Lexa’s voice was not lot on Clarke

 

Clarke felt a shiver ran through her spine as Lexa’s hot breath tickled her neck. She looked up and smiled at her “Any time you want, maybe I could use you as a model if you are up for it” she managed to say, voice full of suggestiveness

 

Lexa nodded her head ferociously “Yes!” she cleared her throat before going back to whispering in Clarke’s ear “yeah, yup totally up for it”

 

Clarke locked her eyes with Lexa seeing the glimmer in them “That’s settled than”

 

After another hour in the shop the four of them continued their shopping, Aden and Fish went with Octavia and Lincoln because Aden kept complaining about him getting tired which surprise Lexa when the boy smiled happily at her and ran to Lincoln when she said he can go. She didn’t know that Aden had a deal with Octavia and Lincoln to leave the her and Clarke together, but hey jock is on them because no one knew Lexa and Clarke had already talked about their feelings for each other

 

Now it was only Clarke and Lexa walking down the street and stealing glances at each other, giggling every time they get caught by the other “Can we go there?” Clarke pointed to a dress shop

 

“Yeah” Really Lexa could not say no to Clarke

 

The two woman walked together sharing smiles and shy glances at each other until they reached the little boutique full of evening dresses, their fingers interlocked now holding tight to one another’s hand. Clarke disappeared immediately and returned back with a long sleeveless black dress that has a slit up to the thigh, and a huge grin on her face.

 

“Care to model it for me?” she said with the most adorable puppy eyes she could master cheeks flushed red from her bold question

 

Lexa sighed before nodding her agreement and going to the changing room with Clarke following closely behind. It took her 5 minutes to get in the dress and leave the changing room. The moment she stepped out she saw Clarke gaping at her, looking her up and down with wide eyes and not so subtle gulps every now and then

 

Lexa tried to hide her own red cheeks by smirking at Clarke’s reaction “Good?” she turned around in her dress in a way to stop looking at Clarke’s  hungry eyes. Lexa felt things she was sure she would never feel after Costia’s untimely demise.

 

Clarke bit her lips, her eyes wracking over Lexa’s body from head to toe and suddenly her body started moving on it’s on, she looked to her right and then to her left to make sure no one was watching them before she gently pushed Lexa back into the changing room

 

Lexa’s back hit the mirror in the changing room, and before she knew it she was reciprocating the kiss, her tongue swapped over Clarke’s bottom lips before their tongue meet in a fierce dance. Lexa felt more then heard the moan Clarke let out in to her mouth. Her hand were around Clarke’s waist trying to push Clarke closer to her as if that was even possible, and she could almost smell the red raspberry scent from Clarke’s shampoo intoxicating her senses.

 

Clarke’s moan were getting louder and Lexa knew she had to do something, so she separated from Clarke “Clarke you need to keep quite or someone will catch us”

 

“I can’t when you are kissing me like that”

 

There was a loud clearing of someone’s throat outside the dressing room that cause the two adults to halt in their actions.

 

“Miss am sorry, but it’s not allowed for two people to get in to the same dressing room. So if… uh.  Can you please stop umm what are you doing and get out?”

 

 

Clarke was giggling hysterically while Lexa’s face burned from embarrassment. Lexa leveled her gaze with Clarke “Oh you are so bad. Stop laughing”

 

Somehow that only caused Clarke to laugh even more” Clarke I’m being serious. I can’t believe we are getting caught making out in a dressing room. It’s like I am a teenager all over again”

 

 

Clarke smirked at Lexa showing no signs of regret “Hey you were not complaining a second ago” whatever Lexa was thinking about replying died quickly in her throat at the sound of the sales woman speaking again

 

 

“Miss I know you can hear me would you please get out?”

 

Clarke gave Lexa a quick pick on the lips before opening the door and getting out, chin raised and making eye contact with the sales woman “Yes sorry I was helping my friend to get out of her dress”

 

The sales woman glared at Clarke and gave her a pointed look as if to say, _Really? Then who the hell was moaning inside because I’m pretty sure there is anyone else except for them?_

“We are taking the dress by the way” Clarke smiled genuinely

 

Lexa managed to follow Clarke after getting out of the dress, albeit with her head down on the floor like it is the most fascinating thing in the world.

 

Clarke was talking to the sales woman when Lexa casted a look outside, she stood frozen in the middle of the shop, feet rooted in place. Her eyes going wide and mouth agape, the images of her last minutes with Costia invading her mind. Lexa’s whole body was shaking, her hands were trembling and she could almost feel all the scars on her back reopen. _Move Lexa fucking do something._ But she can’t because there on the other side of the road stood Emerson with a smirk on his face. She remembered his hateful eyes following her everywhere when she worked undercover, she remembered all the nights spend in the club trying to convince the Wallaces that she is one of them and even the dinners she would attend with Costia, Cage and Carl Emerson but worst of all she still remembers that night when she lost Costia like it was yesterday.

 

 

Lexa can still smell the blood oozing from her and the copper taste in her mouth, her ears can still hear the screams and the cries coming from Costia begging her brother to stop. She shook her head and dag her finger nails into her palms in a way to ground her to reality. It worked and Lexa bend down immediately reaching for her ankle gun and taking it out off its holster. She stands and quickly moves to the door completely oblivious to the wide eyed sales woman and Clarke’s concerned screams asking her what’s wrong.

 

Clarke was apologizing to the sales woman one second and the next she was watching Lexa pulling a gun from her ankle with a complete look of horror. Lexa looked pale like she had just seen a ghost “Lexa what’s wrong” she tried to reach her but Lexa took sprinting through the door. Clarke felt her heart leap out of her chest, she raised her voice and shouted for Lexa to turn around and face, but Lexa was out off the door in a blink of an eye like she was some kind of a female version of the flash.

 

 

Lexa went out the door and rushed to the middle of the street only stopping when a taxi almost hit her, she turned her blazing eyes at the driver only for him to open his door and yell at her “What the hell do you think you are doing lady. Are you crazy?” the driver turned pale the moment he saw a gun in her hand “I mean uh um uh, you nice lady, you should be more careful when you are crossing the um street” he gulped nervously

 

 

Lexa turned her gaze from the driver to look in front of her, but she couldn’t find any one, no Emerson. Her grip on her gun tightened and she clenched her jaw harder. She moved to the opposite side and started looking at the streets but she came out empty.

 

 

 People in the street stopped what they were doing and they were now looking at her, she can’t really blame them because right now she looks like a crazy woman standing in the middle of traffic holding a gun and eyes scanning her surrounding. _What the hell is going on, is my mind playing tricks on me? Am I imagining stuff? Or was Emerson really here and he escaped?._

The hurried footsteps coming from behind her warned her of someone approaching her, still in a fight or flight state Lexa turned around pointing her gun at the unknown person, only it’s not Emerson or an unknown person, it’s Clarke. Clarke that looks pretty much petrified at the whole situation

 

Lexa lowers her gun “Am sorry”

 

Clarke’s worried eyes look back at Lexa’s “ Are you okay? You kind of ran out on me back there” Clarke jocks  to ease Lexa’s anxiety, it coming out of her in waves

 

Lexa doesn’t trust her voice won’t break if she answered so she just nods her head

 

Clarke is dying to know what caused Lexa to act like this, but sensing the other girl’s anxiety and panic she forgoes that and decide to ask something else “Do you want to go back to the house?” 

 

Clarke can see how stiff Lexa’s back is and she can notice the trembling of her body and hands, she wish she could something to help Lexa but she has no idea what’s going on. She relaxes a bit when Lexa takes a deep breath in and nod her agreement again.

 

The car ride was silent Clarke sent a short text to Octavia telling her how they went home without explaining what had happened. Lexa was still out of it so Clarke offered to drive, Clarke’s concern kept spiking up every time she looked at Lexa and saw the lost hallow expression on her face, she wanted to ask Lexa what happened but she also knew this is not the right time for questioning.

 

As soon as they got to the Woods mansion  Lexa went straight to her room, her hands were still shaking and her head  was pounding from all the images seeing Emerson brought to her, she laid in her bed trying to calm her thought. _Did I even see him or was it my mind playing tricks on me, is he back to get his pound of flesh._ Lexa stood up from her bed abruptly and started pacing back and forth, _fuck!!! Clarke must be so scared I pointed my damn gun at her, what the hell is wrong with me, how could I do that? I’m such an idiot._

Lexa wanted to take a deep breath but her lungs wouldn’t cooperate, she felt her throat tightens and closing like something was stuck in her throat or some unseen force was chocking her, wrapping their hands around her neck and making it impossible for her to breath. Lexa scratched at her neck begging for air to get in, her heart was racing and she felt dizzy. She knew she has to will herself to take a breath but as hard as she tried, nothing was working. Her stomach was in knots and she felt like throwing up. Lexa fell to her knees the lack of air was effecting her so badly, she felt hot tears trickle down her cheeks and her vision was clouded by black dots.

 

“Lexa?” she heard a concern voice before she felt someone wrap their arms around her and pull her up to what she assumes is her bed.

 

Clarke walked in to Lexa’s room to find the young detective on her knees shaking and crying her eyes out, she could tell Lexa was have a panic attack by the way she was struggling to take a breath and Clarke could feel her heart breaking for this amazing, smart, kind human being. She wished she could protect her and take all the pain away, she felt her eyes sting with unshed tears just by looking at Lexa going through a panic attack. The thought of something so bad causing her Lexa to have a meltdown is tearing at her  

 

“I …… I I I can..not br…..eath, I” Lexa chokes out

 

“Shushhhh, it okay Lexa I got you. It’s ok baby” Clarke hoisted Lexa up and moved her to her bed

 

Lexa hold tight on the back of Clarke shirt hoping to ground herself “Cla….rke  p…ple…ase … make ……it .. sto….. stop”

 

“Lexa, look at me baby. You need to even you breathe out” Clarke said with a firm voice

 

“I ca..n’t”

 

“You need too” Clarke moved her face closer to Lexa, lips against each other “Just like me, take a deep breath hold it for 1,2,3 and let it out. I know you can do it” she encouraged

 

Lexa focused on Clarke breath against her lips and did as she was told. It was hard the first couple of times but eventually she succeeded and her breath evened out, her body going slag against Clarke’s hold

 

Clarke ran her left hand through Lexa’s brown hair and started gently scratching her scalp, she heard Lexa sob quietly into her neck “Am here for you if you want to talk about it”

 

Lexa answered with a hoarse voice “I thought I saw Emerson”

 

Clarke’s eyes widen at this “Emerson as in Cage Wallace’s right hand man, Emerson”

 

“Yeah” Lexa sighed

 

Clarke continued scratching Lexa scalp while she said “You know after the things you went through it’s completely normal to see the people who hurt you. It’s a part of your ptsd and it’s also the reason why you should continue therapy”

 

Lexa lifted her head up to look at Clarke “It was not my ptsd. That son of bitch is out there somewhere and he won’t stop unless he gets his revenge”

 

“What do you mean?” Clarke asked

 

“Clarke I’ve already told you what happened and…” Lexa hesitate before speaking again “Emerson has a bounty on me”

 

“He what!!!” Clarke all but screamed and stood up from the bed

 

 

Lexa followed Clarke “Keep it down I haven’t told anyone”

 

 

Clarke turned her face to Lexa, eyes showing her disbelieve “Please tell me you are joking about this, please tell me you are thinking about telling Marcus or at least Anya” Clarke locked her eyes on Lexa’s green one and she knew her answer before Lexa even opened her mouth “Of course not” she shook her head

 

Lexa licked her lips “Clarke this is between me and him, there is no need for anyone else to interfere and most likely get hurt”

 

“Well what about you, are you suddenly bullet proof or let me guess you are a descended from superman “ Clarke huffed with puffy eyes

 

Lexa couldn’t help but laugh at the comment “You know me, I’m more of super Lexa”

 

 

“You are an ass, is what you are” Clarke bit her lip to hide the smile tugging at her lips

 

“Is that a smile I see Dr.Griffin” Lexa shook her head and decided to keep the playful banter instead of arguing about what if. Just being around Clarke was helping because all her anxiety is gone now, all the pain she felt couple of minutes ago are gone and all she wanted to do, all she could thinking about was how to make Clarke smile. She knew Clarke will worry about her no matter what she says so she decided to change the topic. She smirked before speaking  “Is that a smile I see Doc, tsh” she clicked her tongue “Doctors these days will laugh at anything”

 

 

“Shut up you dork” Clarke smiled

 

“Now let’s go back to bed and cuddle” Lexa winked

 

“Oh and you are so sure I will cuddle you?” Clarke quirked an eyebrow

 

“Well if cuddling won’t convince you, how about a hot make out session”

 

“You are lucky I like you and you are cute, now come here pick me up properly and take me to bed” Clarke said in her most husky voice

 

Lexa smiled before moving closer to Clarke and putting her arms under her thighs “Your wish is my command”

 

 

                                                                                          XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Clarke and Lexa walk up very early do to the noise coming from downstairs, they both grunted and the hold they had on one another tightened. The two of them too comfortable and content to leave their bed, but apparently no rest for the wicked because a moment later there was an insistent knocking on their door. Lexa groaned a little and pulled the covers over both her face and Clarke’s in a disparate attempt to stay in bed

 

“I hope you crazy kids are decent because am getting in” Lexa’s eyes widened at hearing her mother’s voice, her sleep long forgotten. She tried pushing away from Clarke only for Clarke to hold her tighter and push closer against her “Five more minutes babe please”

 

Lexa poked Clarke in her cheeks “Clarke wake up, mu mum is knocking on our door” her voice lanced with panic

 

 

Clarke still very sleepy answered “So?”

 

 

“So? What do you mean so?, My mum is about to walk in on us. There is only one door separating her from us” Lexa whispered yelled

 

 

“Lexa we are two adult sharing a bed, there is nothing wrong with that. Now please can I go back to sleep?” Clarke huffed

 

“No Clarke you can’t go back to sleep, now get up” Lexa said urgently

 

“Lexa are you naked?”

 

“Am I what? What kind of question is that Clarke of course am not” Lexa was still whispering

 

“My dear Lexa I asked because you are acting like a teenage girl who got caught with her pants down” Clarke giggled

 

“You did NOT just say that” Lexa asked exasperated

 

“I did”

 

“Take it back”

 

“No take backs. I already said it”

 

 

Lexa nodded her head “Fine I see how it is, well than Dr.Griffin am really sorry for this”

 

 

Clarke opened one eyes to see what Lexa was going to do, but her still very much sleepy brain didn’t get what Lexa was trying to do until it was too late

 

Lexa in one swift motion throw the covers to the floor and was on top of Clarke in a blink of an eye. “What was that Dr.Griffin?” she teased

 

Clarke looked at Lexa with lust filled eyes and blown pupils “You heard me”

 

“I see, so you are not ta..” Lexa didn’t have the chance to finish her sentence because Clarke’s came came up from behind her neck and clashed their lips together.

 

This was different from their other kisses, it was all teeth and tongue and hunger. Clarke had a death grip on Lexa’s neck and in the spur of the moment she thrusted her hips into Clarke’s creating the friction they both need. The two kissed like there was no tomorrow only for them to shoot from bed the minute they heard a throat being cleared.

 

Lexa looked with wide eyes and a racing heart not to mention bruised kissed at her mouth “This is not what it look like”

 

Clarke looked at Lexa confused “Is it not?” she saw the flushed look on Lexa’s face and decided to make Lexa squirm a little

 

Elizabeth stood in the middle of the room eyes going back and forth between her daughter and the young blonde doctor “Well then please tell me what it is” she said with amusement coloring her face

 

 

“I’d like to know that as well” Clarke added jokingly seeing how Lexa looked like she was about to have a heart attack

 

 

“Clarke is my uh um uh, Clarke is” Lexa laughed nervously rubbing her face with her hand “Clarke and I are seeing each other”

 

 

“Okay?” Elizabeth said

 

 

“That’s it” Lexa nodded

 

Elizabeth smiled at her daughter “Honey, I wasn’t asking what you and Clarke were doing so you can relax, also we all knew you two like each other so there is no shame in that, But I have to say you might want to lock your door next time you feel like a little make out session. Just be glad it was me and not your father”

 

Both Clarke and Elizabeth laughed at this but Lexa had a horrified look on her face after hearing what her mother said “Fully noted, and mum no one knows about us so I would appreciate  if you don’t tell anyone”

 

“Sure” Elizabeth clapped her hand together “Oh right that brings me to what I came up here to tell you. You girls should start getting ready because the party is going to be in full swing in a couple of hours”

 

“We’ll be ready by then” Clarke smiled at Elizabeth

 

Elizabeth left the two women alone inside the room and it didn’t take long for Clarke to start teasing Lexa “Oh my god you should have seen you face”

 

“That was so not funny Clarke” Lexa reprimanded

 

“It’s not what it looks like” Clarke said trying to imitate Lexa facial expression

 

“Shut up” Lexa throw one of the billows at Clarke and the two broke out laughing at the situation

 

                                                                                         XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Raven came by later and took Clarke to her room saying that the two of them plus Octavia need to get ready together, and that Lexa should call Anya and get ready at her room, while the other three best friends will get together in Anya’s. Lexa was not happy about that decision especially because she was dying to see what Clarke will wear. She asked the young Doctor repeatedly but Clarke didn’t answer, and that’s how she ended up sitting on her bed grunting and groaning waiting for a massage from Clarke while Anya tried on her million dress for the evening

 

 

Anya quirked an eye brow at Lexa after hearing her groan for what felt like the hundredth time “Okay miss pout a lot, what curled up your butt”

“Nothing” Anya gave Lexa a knowing look that caused to exhale deeply and start again “I don’t know”

 

Anya moved closet and sat next to Lexa on the bed “What’s wrong Lex?”

 

“That’s the thing An, nothing is wrong but I can’t help shake the feeling that something bad is going to happen. It’s just how I feel”

 

Anya squeezed Lexa’s leg reassuringly ”Is this about work? Or Clarke”

 

Lexa shook her head “ I guess it has something to do with Clarke”

 

“Okay cut the cryptic bullshit answer and tell me”

 

“Am happy Anya, It’s the first time I feel happy ever since I lost Costia. Whenever I’m around Clarke I feel completely and utterly happy. She makes me feel things I never thought I would ever feel after Costia and am scared and terrified to the bone of losing that”

 

Anya wrapped her arms around Lexa “You don’t have to be though. You are starting to move on and it’s a good thing I’m really proud of, you just need to stop thinking all this negative thoughts”

 

“It’s not negative. I’m being realistic. Every time I let myself feel completely happy, life fucks me over and takes my happiness. Now everything is better, everything is great with work, and the family, even with Clarke but I’m also so very nervous about the other shoe dropping. I don’t think I can handle another tragedy, and this fucking feeling is keeping me up at night. What if something happens and I go back to being alone” Lexa bit her lip

 

“Alexandria Woods, you listen to me okay?. _YOU_ are not alone, You will never be alone. You got friends and family and alot of people who care for you and love you, people who would do anything in their power to keep you happy and safe. You say you are worried about the other shoe dropping I say let it drop, because no matter what happens you will always have me and we can face whatever comes next together. You are never alone, you got it?”

 

Lexa felt a smile tugging at her lips “Yes ma’am”

 

Anya stood from the bed and went over to closet in search of something, only to come back a minute later with Lexa’s combat boots “Oh and Lexa” she dropped the shoes in front of her cousin and smiled warmly “I think the other shoe had already drop”

 

Lexa couldn’t help but snicker loudly “You do know it was a metaphorical definition right?”

 

“Whatever Lex, now enough about damn shoes and let’s focus on dresses, Speaking off I couldn’t help but find a new black dress in your closet. Where did you get that?”

 

Lexa avoided Anya’s curious look “Clarke bought it for me”

 

“I see, well I guess we all know what you are going to wear tonight” Anya pointed at the said black dress

 

                                     XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Clarke, Octavia and Raven were getting ready in Anya’s room, well more like the two brunettes were doing their makeup and styling their hair, while Clarke stood in front of the mirror holding a dark blue dress and smiling at the thought of what Lexa would say about it. She can feel her lips ache to kiss Lexa and her hands shaking to be tangeled in brown curl hair.

 

“Uhuuumm, Earth to Clarke” Raven cleared her throat

 

Clarke turned around facing her two best friends “Am sorry were you saying something?”

 

“Yes, we were talking about how whipped our best friend is” Octavia provided

 

“Say Griffinster, on a scale of one to ten how good is sex with detective Lexa?” Raven wiggled her eyebrows playfully at Clarke

 

“Uh, I , um”

 

“Look at how much she’s blushing” Octavia bursted out laughing

 

“I told you they were doing the nasty O, you owe me 50 bucks”

 

“Nope, Clarke here hasn’t confirmed nor denied so until then am keeping my money” Octavia gave Raven a pointed look

 

“You guys bet on me and Lexa?” Clarke looked disbelievingly between her two best friends

 

“No” Answered Octavia as the same time Raven answered “Yes, that’s what good friends do Clarkey”

 

Raven poked Clarke’s leg with her foot before continuing ”Stop avoiding and answer our question”

 

Clarke nervously started playing with her fingers “Raven me and Lexa are not like that”

 

“You could have fooled us, Clarke you look at Lexa like the sun is shinning from her ass, and she looks at you like you are an angel or a god so stop lying at us and tell us what is going on” Octavia added

 

“We are just friends” Clarke said in a low voice that wasn’t even convincing her,

 

Raven was becoming impatient with Clarke blatant lie “You are my friend, Octavia is my friend but I don’t undress you with my eyes every time you guys walk in to a room so cut the crap Griffin”  

 

“Okay fine, Lexa and I are seeing each other, well more like getting to know more about each other so you two assholes better stay out  of it” Clarke breathed

 

Raven was now beaming at her “So about the sex?”

 

Clarke rolled her eyes “Raven for fuck sake we didn’t have sex okay, Lexa is a perfect getntel woman and we are not going to rush our relationship. Besides she is been throw a lot and I want to make sure she is ready before we get to the next level, and it doesn’t matter if I wait for a day, a month or even years I will not push Lexa into doing something she doesn’t feel comfortable about”

 

Raven looked at Clarke with a gaping mouth, she was just messing around with her friends and teasing Clarke she didn’t expect for the whole thing to turn so emotional, Raven turned her gaze to Octavia and saw her looking at Clarke with awe in her glazed eyes. Raven shook her head at her friends “ Well that sounds a lot like love to me Clarkey, so come one get your ass off that bed and let us get you ready to meet you princess at the ball” Raven bowed dramatically

 

Clarke smiled at her friend “You are an ass Raven” she pointed in Octavia’s direction “You too O, but I love you so very much”

 

“We love you too” Came the response from both Octavia and Raven

 

Raven smirked a little before adding “But am sure not as much as Lexa loves you”

 

Octavia slapped Raven’s back playfully “Don’t ruin the moment Ray”

 

Clarke was again lost in thought as the two other women bickered playfully, _Just as much I love her I hope._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are heating up people. Don't forget to share what you think :)
> 
> Thank you for all the comments, Hits, kudos, subscription they really do make my made


	19. Moonlight Dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa are two idiots in love  
> Some indecent bets  
> Someone from Lexa's past gets introduced  
> Dance marathon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god i have 637 Kudos!!!! i can't believe it. Thank you so much for every hit, kudos, Comment, subscription it really means a lot to me so thank you so much 
> 
> This is by far the longest chapter i have written i think and also i just finished it so i didn't have the time to go through and check for any mistakes so sorry.
> 
> Enough rambling, and happy reading guys

 

 

It took two hours for the three best friends to get ready. Raven had a long sleeveless red dress on that had a plunge neckline and black heels to get along with it and her hair was left loose around her shoulders. Octavia was wearing an also long purple dress with high heels and she choose to have her hair up in one side and left the other side loose, while Clarke choose to wear a dark blue dress that snuggled her body perfectly and her hair was done in an up do.

 

 

 “Who do you guys think will be in this party?” Raven said checking her eyeliner in the mirror

 

 

“Probably the whole police department and the mayor” Octavia answers 

 

 

“A lot of other powerful people too I’m guessing” Clarke added

 

 

There was a knock on the door that got the three best friends attention. The three of them looked at each other waiting for someone to answer the door. Raven huffed reluctantly and moved to open the door only to find Anya there smiling at her and wearing a black suit looking like a million bucks

 

 

Anya leaned over and kissed Raven “Hi beautiful”

 

 

Raven smiled in to the kiss “Hey”

 

 

Anya gestured behind her towards Lincoln and Lexa stood “You girls ready to go?”

 

 

“Yup” the three best friends answered in unison

 

 

Raven grabbed Anya’s hand, while Octavia wrapped Lincoln into a hug steeping on her toes to reach the huge guy and Lincoln bend down to make it easier for her whispering how amazing she looks. Lexa stood behind the couple awkwardly waiting to get a glimpse of Clarke and when she did her breath hitched all air left her lungs, her eyes grow wide and her mouth falls opened. Lexa swallowed hard trying to well herself to speak but no words passed through the sahara that was her mouth. A snicker came from next to her where Anya was standing. Anya put one hand on Lexa’s shoulder “Close your mouth Lexa. You are kind of drooling all over yourself and your fancy new dress” Anya winked

 

 

As always Raven joined her girlfriend teasing “Dude the thirst is real!!”

 

 

That seems to get Lexa’s control back on. Her face turned to one of indifference before she glared at the smiling couple “Go before I decide to accidently punch the two of you in the face”

 

 

Raven and Anya didn’t need to be told twice, they went down stairs with Octavia and Lincoln leaving Clarke and Lexa to their own devices. Lexa straightened her back and stood taller before her eyes went back to scanning Clarke’s body only this time she saw her expressions being mirrored by Clarke’s. Lexa heart started racing when she saw Clarke’s tongue darting over her lips to wet them, her gaze stayed focused on Clarke’s lips until Clarke cleared her throat and Lexa felt the tips of her ear sting with embarrassment  at being caught staring

 

 

Clarke was looking awestruck at Lexa wearing the black dress. It fitted her body perfectly showing her slender neck and log legs, _oh my god she’s wearing my dress!! Fuck I remember how her hands felt over my skin when we were in that changing room._ _Shake it off Clarke you are staring at her like a creep, but I can’t help it she looks amazing in this dress and her hair?._ Clarke wolf whistled in her head. Lexa’s hair was left in cascading her back with wavy brown curl and two braids in front making sure to keep her hair out of her eyes. What really caught Clarke’s eyes however was the dark make up Lexa choose to apply. Thick black eyeliner and dark shadow on her eyes making her grey green eyes pop all the more and just looking at them made Clarke’s heart thud in her chest.

 

 

Lexa cleared her throat before speaking ”You look amazing Clarke” _be still my heart._ She put her left hand over her heart and she could feel the crazy rate her heart was beating

 

 

 

Clarke smiled at Lexa “You don’t look too shabby yourself. And you are wearing my dress, uh I mean the dress I bought you. Not that you don’t look amazing wearing tight jeans showing your body cover I mean you ass looks divine in those” Clarke’s eyes widen as soon as what she said registered to her “Not like I would know, I . uh, um I mean I don’t stare at your ass….. not that there is anything wrong with it…… it…. I just”

 

 

Lexa smirked at Clarke’s rambling, she thought it is the most adorable thing she has ever witnessed, but seeing how flustered and flushed Clarke became she decided to stop her before she gets a heart attack. So Lexa moved closer wrapping her arms around Clarke’s waist before she connected their lips together “You look so cute when you ramble”

 

 

“Humm” Clarke hummed into their kiss “I can’t help it. I seem to lose my ability to form a coherent sentence when I’m around you”. It was now Lexa’s turn to feel flustered and Clarke smirked at her “Something wrong detective?” Clarke husked in Lexa’s ear

 

 

Lexa kissed Clarke one more time before pumping her nose against Clarke then resting her head against Clarke’s. She took a deep breath before speaking again “Everything is perfect. You are perfect”

 

 

“See there you go again making me stop forming coherent thoughts” Clarke smiles widen

 

 

Lexa pulls her head away from Clarke but she is still gazing at her. Their eyes locked on each other. Lexa can’t help it she feels something inside of her stir in all the right ways, there are words forming in her mind that her vocal cords are trying their best to release and then  “I lo………… Love your dress” Lexa stopped herself from saying those three little words instead opting on complementing Clarke’s dress again and she laughs nervously hoping Clarke didn’t caught what she was going to say

 

 

Clarke’s eyes widen when she heard Lexa, everything around her feels like whit noise and her heart is creaming at her to say those words back, but that’s the thing Lexa didn’t actually say them. Well true she wanted to say them but she couldn’t which means not yet but _soon._ She could see Lexa’s smile fall off her face and how tense her shoulder had become. Her neck vein was pulsing and her jaw was clenching and unclenching with her fists movement

 

Lexa stands still like she is frozen. _Say something for god’s sake she is looking at you, you moron, did she know what I was going to say? Did she hear it? What the fuck!! I told her I wasn’t ready like two days ago and now I’ve dropped the L word on her. Fucking great please be okay with this, please, please._ Lexa tried to move away from Clarke but Clarke held her hand tightly making it impossible for her to back away, while Clarke’s other hand wrapped around Lexa’s waist. Clarke leaned closet to Lexa’s ears and whispered in hushed voice “I lo… love your dress too”

 

 

Lexa kissed Clarke’s lips agains and sucked on her bottom one before letting go and offering her elbow to Clarke’s “Shall we?” she gestured to the party down stairs

 

 

Clarke linked her hand through Lexa’s “We shall”

 

 

 

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When Clarke and Lexa get to the party they had to separate much to Clarke’s annoyance because every two seconds someone would come along and ask to talk to Lexa alone. Or much to Clarke’s dismay they would flirt with Lexa openly and not so subtly. They would come over bating their eyelashes and smiling all sweet with predatory gazes and some of them they have the decency to even touch Lexa. Her bicep, her fingers, her shoulder but none of them was as rude as the last woman who approached them.

 

 

Lexa was finally able to sneak away from the rookies who were asking about undercover or the other detectives who had heard so much about Lexa and wanted to come introduce themselves in person. Lexa made her way to stand next to Clarke and breathed a sigh grabbing a glass of champagne from one of the waitress. She gulped her glass in one take before looking at Clarke “I’m sorry for ditching you. Trust me it was not my intention”

 

 

Clarke waved her hand trying to sound nonchalant but she failed miserably when she spoke “Don’t worry about it”

 

 

Lexa tilted her head to the said to look at Clarke “Are you okay?”

 

 

“Why wouldn’t I be” Clarke answered coldly

 

 

“Okay… is there something you want to talk abo…..” Lexa  asked sincerely

 

 

Clarke shook her head to get rid of her jealous thoughts. _Lexa is a very well knows detective and this is her party. Technically it’s her parents but it’s her house so am sure a lot of people who who she is_. “Sorry if I’m being an ass I just….” Clarke trailed off

 

 

“Just…” _oh_ it just now hit Lexa, Clarke is jealous. Lexa couldn’t help but laugh at the idea, she very much liked that fact that Clarke was jealous but at the same time she didn’t want to upset Clarke so she began speaking “You know if my parents and superiors weren’t here, I would have very much sneaked out of this lame party with you and headed somewhere else more quite. Possibly romantic”

 

 

“Romantic huh? Anywhere in particular?” Clarke asked with a light tone in her voice, her not so rational anger disappearing

 

 

“Yup we could steal a bottle of wine and go up the hill that way” Lexa gestured south “Then we can walk for a bit while holding hands”

 

 

Clarke’s eyes lit up “Then?”

 

 

Lexa smiled seeing how interested Clarke seemed with the idea “We would be totally alone. We would leave Fish with Ranya and..”

 

 

Clarke cut Lexa off confused “Wait Ranya? Who is that?”

 

 

“That’s Raven and Anya” Lexa continued once more after Clarke nodded her head “We can go up the hill and sit under that lone hug tree next to the lake  and we can look at the star. We can get a clear sight at the sky and all the stars” Lexa rubbed at the back of her neck nervously “I know you would like that because of the painting back at your office. The one with your dad when he took you star gazing on your birthday”

 

 

Clarke’s felt like she was about to cry at how thoughtful and kind Lexa was being, yes she told her about that fact one time when they were having a session and Lexa remembered that small detail “You remember?”

 

 

Lexa tilted her head before answering as if searching if Clarke’s messing with her “Of course I do. I remember everything you say Clarke”

 

 

Clarke intertwined her fingers with Lexa before lowering her voice to a whisper “I would kiss you right now if we are not surrounded by people, can’t we still make a run for it and go to the place you were talking about?”

 

 

Lexa thought about if for a minute then said “I wish but at least we are wearing dresses and high heels so the chance of us running away in those are pretty slim. I swear high heels were made to be away of torture but probably along the way someone was like *you know what fuck it I don’t care if it is torture my ass looks cute when I wear them* and that’s my darling Clarke how we became to know high heels”

 

 

Clarke bursted out laughing at what Lexa said “Okay you are adorable but can we leave the conspiracy theories for later. I want to hear more about the magical place”

 

 

Just then a great idea came to Lexa’s mind “We can go tomorrow if you would like. We can take one of the horses and some food, maybe we can have a picnic?”

 

 

Clarke squeezed Lexa’s hand gently “I don’t care where we go as long as you’re by my side”

 

 

The two of them stood there looking at each other and smiling like two idiots in love without saying anything, but the thing is they don’t needs any words to describe what they are feeling because their eyes are speaking to each other communicating things words can never describe . Their souls are calling the other

 

 

“Lexa!!!!!!!”

 

 

Lexa turned around and was caught off guard by seeing one of the detectives from her precinct standing so close to her and smirking widely “Luna?”

 

 

The brunette with big hazelnut eyes grinned “The one and only. How have you been detective?”

 

 

“Good. Fine, good, you?” Lexa was more than nervous at this point. She was a bit uncomfortable do to the fact that Luna was her class mate in the police academy and the two of them graduated together, but most of all she was nervous because Luna was her ex-girlfriend. The two of them dated for a year and a half, but broke up because Luna said Lexa was always too distant. Lexa was a shamed about seeing Luna because she remembered the night she got very drunk after the Costia incident and slept with Luna because of her resemblance to Costia. The problem is that Lexa woke up the next day and she actually thought loosing Costia had been a dream and she thought Luna was Costia until Luna opened her mouth. It went to hell when Lexa started crying hysterically and curling like a ball on her bed until Luna had to call Anya. So yeah seeing Luna again was like a bucket of cold water being thrown at her. _What would Clarke think? Would she be mad?._ She thought

 

 

 True she and Clarke never talked about ex-lovers, aside from Lexa telling her about Costia, Although she didn’t explain her relationship with Costia per say just how she died. Lexa’s line of thought is cut short by Luna speaking again.

 

 

Luna moved closer to Lexa “Never better now that I have you”

 

 

“Excuse me?” Clarke questioned her anger from a moment ago back at full force

 

 

“Oh right” Luna extended her hand to Clarke without moving away from Lexa’s personal space “I’m luna. Lexa’s…” she kept her eyes on Lexa smiling

 

 

“Friend” Lexa spoke hurriedly but after getting a raised eyebrow from Clarke she continued “And colleague. We were together in the police academy” Lexa turned her gaze to Luna “And Luna this is Clarke”

 

 

“Right” Clarke whispered to herself. _Just Clarke, really? I’m so mad right now but I also know that I can’t because we are not telling people that we are dating, but ugh!!! Doesn’t anyone in this party know how to keep their hands to themselves and talk about fucking personal space._

 

 

“Clarke?” Lexa asked seeing Clarke lost in thought. She pointed at Luna’s still out stretched hand

 

 

“Oh sorry” Clarke smiled forcefully and shakes Luna’s hand “Nice to meet you”

 

 

Luna kept looking at Lexa not noticing the death glare Clarke was sending her “It’s been a long time huh?”

 

 

“Yeah” Lexa answered but kept her gaze on Clarke

 

 

Luna finally noticed that she doesn’t have Lexa’s attention but instead of backing off, she grabbed Lexa’s chin with her hand and made Lexa turn to look at her “That’s better”

 

 

Lexa put her hand over Luna’s that was still holding her chin “What are you doing?” she hissed

 

 

Luna sighed “Whatever you want me to do” she said while her other hand came up and started drawing circles on Lexa’s back

 

 

Lexa was speechless, she is very surprised by Luna’s action. True Luna was her ex-girlfriend but the other girl was acting very weird. She wasn’t one for public display of affection and she was never clingy or needy. Most of all she was never cruel or forceful, not with Lexa nor with anyone else. In face it was the opposite Luna was always such a loving and caring spirit and in all a very kind woman which is why Lexa was feeling guilty and avoiding Luna before, because she didn’t want to hurt her feelings. But now, well now Luna was acting like a whole different person. Lexa looked at Luna’s eyes deeply for the first time since the woman came to talk to her and she knew something was off immediately. Luna’s eyes were hollow, no twinkle or sparkle and Lexa recognized the lost look in them. She saw herself in Luna’s eyes. The Lexa who woke up in a hospital after she lost, her eyes were like that and  to be honest it freaked her out how lost Luna seems to look.

 

 

 

Lexa leaned closer and cringed, Luna smelled like October fest, her breathe full of alcohol. Now that wasn’t good at all. Alcohol combined with that look is never a good combination, and she knew she had to do something before Luna does something she will regrets or humiliate herself in front of all these people

 

 

She turned to Clarke with the most apologetic look she could muster “I’m sorry, I need to take care of this”

 

 

 

Clarke was perplexed she was looking between Lexa and this Luna person then back to Lexa like she grow a second head, one minute everything was fine. She and Lexa were having a great time then this Luna person comes and practically throw herself at Lexa and now Lexa looks guilty and wants to leave with Luna?. _What the hell is going on? Maybe they are friends and Lexa wants to take care of her drunk friend, but even so friends don’t give * I want to fuck you with my eyes* look to each other when they are drunk._ A small part of Clarke that is rational is very proud of how sweet Lexa is, she is taking care of people who needs her, but the other part that was jealous still wants to push Luna off of Lexa and tell her that Lexa is hers, but then again even if Luna is more than friends with Lexa she can’t do anything about, She is not Lexa’s keeper and if Lexa wants to talk to someone, Clarke has no right to stop her. Which is why Clarke doesn’t understand why she is getting angry at the situation, _we said we are dating and we are going to give each other a chance but we never really talked about monogamy so I should stop acting like an angry bitch. I mean if it was me I would have want to help a drunk friend._ Still her heart warmed at the sight of Lexa looking at her with so  much love despite the situation.

 

 

 

Lexa can see the turmoil behind Clarke’s eyes, and she knew she doesn’t want her either so she squeezed Clarke’s hand making Clarke look at her “Come with me I think I need all the help I can get”

 

 

Clarke nodded “Let’s take her to one of the guest rooms”

 

 

The two of them dragged Luna all the way to Lexa’s room and laid her on the bed, but when Lexa moved to help take Luna’s heels off, Luna’s hands stopped her “Come here” Luna said pushing Lexa on top of her

 

 

Lexa shook her head “Luna we can’t”

 

 

Luna smirked though her eyes were glazed and full of unshed tears “Just this time for old time sake. Your friend can join us too” she gestured her head to where Clarke was standing

 

 

“Luna, this isn’t you. What happened? Why are you acting like this?” Lexa spoke softly

 

 

 

Luna saw how determined Lexa looked so in a last attempt she ran her hand across Lexa’s jaw before saying “It’s okay. You can call me Costia if you want to”

 

 

Lexa felt like someone had just slapped her across the face she jumped out of bed with her hand covering her mouth, she felt her stomach sink and nausea hitting her hard “St… sto..p it” she stuttered

 

 

Clarke’s  heart ached at the heart broken look on Lexa’s face, she moved closer to Lexa and tried to give her a comforting hug only for Lexa to flinch away from the touch “I’m sorry” Lexa said her eyes avoiding Clarke “I probably should go get her some water” with that Lexa left the room

 

 

 

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Lexa went to the kitchen to get some water for Luna. Her façade was perfectly in place. She opened the fridge and pulled out two bottles of water before her emotions took over her. Lexa looked around the kitchen and when she noticed there was no one else but her, she slams the fridge’s door, and kneels on the the floor in front of the fridge resting her back on it. Her tears ran freely from her eyes down to her cheeks. “I’m sorry Costia” she repeats over and over again at the same time her knuckles keep hitting the tiled floor. _I hurt them both. I was unfaithful to Costia after her death and I broke Luna’s heart with my actions, how can I be so stupid? They both deserved more, a lot more. I disappointed both of them. How can I be so blind?._

 

Lexa was out of it, her tears were streaming down her cheeks and her knuckles were starting to bruise from hitting the floor until something wet touched her hand and startled her out of her head. She moved her head slowly only to find big black eyes staring at her. Fish was lying by her hand, he whined and licked her bruised hand “I’m sorry buddy. I didn’t mean to scare you”

 

 

Fish whined some more and moved closer to her face to her face licking away her tears. Lexa wrapped her arms around him tightly and snuggled into his soft fur, she can feel her anxiety and panic draining away from, some of the guilt going away by the comfort of having Fish next to her a throat being cleared made her snap her head up almost giving herself whiplash “Anya? what are you doing here ”.

 

 

Anya’s eyes were full of concern as she crouched down in front of Lexa, she could see how puffy and red her eyes were which meant she was crying “I was going to ask you the same thing. Is everything okay?”.

 

 

Lexa debated whether or not she should tell Anya about her guilt but she decided against it “Nothing I just came here to get some water for Luna… “.

 

 

Anya cut her off “You saw Luna? How is she doing?. Is that why you were crying because she told you about Derek?” Anya stopped herself when she saw the confused look on Lexa’s face

 

 

Lexa frowned “About Derek? What do you mean?”

 

 

Anya sighed “I’m sorry I thought you knew”.

 

 

Okay now Lexa is starting to get pissed off “Anya” she warned “What don’t I know?”.

 

 

Anya averted her gaze to the floor her expression taking on a sorrowful look “Lex, Derek was found dead in the alley behind Mount Weather club. I’m sorry”

 

 

Lexa felt her stomach dropping. _No it can’t be._ Derek was one of her close friends in the department, he even worked with her undercover in the Wallace’s case, Derek was her alleged bodyguard . _Could it be Emerson? He knew Derek, he saw him with me all the time. Is Emerson going to pick us one by one?,_ thoughts were running wildly in her head. _Fuck!! Derek was Luna’s partner that’s why she so drunk_. “Do you know who did it” Lexa asked

 

 

Anya shook her head but added “It get’s worst. Luna was the one who found him”

 

 

Lexa let out a shuddering breath at hearing Anya’s words “Fuck! How the hell didn’t I know about this?”

 

 

Anya put a comforting hand over Lexa’s knee and squeezed gently “You have a lot on your mind, and we didn’t want you to worry about this”

 

 

Lexa nodded knowing fully well she can’t blame Anya for not telling her earlier “An? Do you think it’s Emerson?”. _Of fucking course it’s him, he is sending a message_

 

 

“Emerson” Anya questioned “As in Carl Emerson? Cage Wallace’s right hand man Emerson?” When Lexa nodded, Anya continued “Why would it be him though?”.

 

 

Lexa body slumped, the hand that was scratching behind Fish’s ear stopped making Anya look at her suspiciously “What don’t _I know_ Lexa” Anya emphasized

 

 

Lexa turned fully to face Anya “What I’m about to tell you no one else can know about, and I mean it Anya. No telling Marcus or you dad or my dad, Indra no one”

 

 

Anya was getting impatient her worrying about her cousin was reaching a new level “Spit it out already, I promise no one will know”

 

 

Lexa took a deep breath. _Here goes nothing. “_ Carl Emerson had a bounty for my head, and I think I saw him yesterday when I went shopping with Clarke”

 

 

Anya eyes widen like saucers “You… you saw.. him ….. Emerson was there” she stuttered over her words

 

 

“Yes. But when I ran out of the shop he was gone”  Lexa’s shoulders sagged in defeat

 

 

Anya’s arm instinctively wrapped around Lexa “Honey don’t start stressing over coincidence. Maybe you were stressed and thought you saw Emerson, and Derek’s death has nothing to do with you or Emerson. The department thinks it’s because he was gambling and owes someone a lot of money”

 

 

“But it’s not Anya!!” Lexa all but screamed “It’s Emerson, he is fucking out there waiting for the perfect moment to bounce”

 

 

Anya knew that Lexa’s words and thoughts were valid, but she couldn’t tell her that. She was afraid Lexa would go on a suicide mission to find Emerson or worst she would close on herself and push all her friends and family. Anya didn’t want that, she could see Lexa was getting better since she meet Clarke. Her cousin was getting better every day that’s why she didn’t want to tell her about Derek’s death in the first place. And now Lexa’s guilty sad look was back. _I would never let anyone hurt you, I will protect you with my life if need be Lex._ Anya thought, she knew she has to do something to stop Lexa from worrying about this “You know how much I love you so please don’t get angry when I say this. But could it that you are stressing out because of your relationship with Clarke?”

 

 

“What? No. this is not about Clarke and i. This is about finding that psycho Emerson” Lexa hurriedly said feeling the need to defend her relationship with Clarke

 

 

 

Anya hugged her cousin tighter “You need to stop stressing. Nothing bad is going to happen and if it did happen you have all of us at your back. You maybe a pain in the ass, but you are my pain in the ass and I would never let anything happen to you or our family okay?”

 

 

“But..”

 

 

“No buts. You will be fine. Whatever comes next we will go throw it together, You are not alone. Everything is going to be fine repeat after it after me” Anya spoke with convection

 

 

“I will be fine. Everything is going to be fine” Lexa repeated and when Fish join in by parking Lexa smiled a little

 

 

“ See even the little fur ball agrees with me” Anya said and giggled when Fish growled at her

 

 

Lexa ran her hand up and down Fish’s back “Don’t listen to her, You are the most amazing  puppy I have even seen”

 

 

“Besides if  anything bad ever happens we can ask Raven to make one of her bombs, problem solved”

 

 

Lexa relaxed and laughed at her cousin silliness, Anya always knew what to say to make her stop stressing and relax and Lexa was so much thankful to have someone like Anya on her side.

 

 

                                       

 

                                                                  XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXxx

 

 

 

Clarke sighed and turned her attention to the giggling woman on the bed. Luna saw Clarke looking at her and slurred “What?”

 

 

“Nothing” Clarke went to the bathroom and ran one of the towels she found under the water before she brought it back to the room and gave it to Luna. When Luna looked at it quizzically, Clarke groaned and held it over Luna’s face which earned her a content sigh from the brunette.

 

 

Luna’s fingers curl around a perfect golden lock but not in an intimate way more like it was kind of a habit she can’t get rid of “You are very lucky, you know that?”

 

 

“Why would you say that?” Clarke said while checking if Luna has a fever and looking at her pupils to see how drunk she is

 

 

Luna laughed humorlessly “Because you have someone as caring and as amazing as Lexa. Seriously that girl has the biggest heart ever”

 

 

Clarke opened her mouth to say something but was caught off immediately by Luna “Don’t lie to me. There is no need in denying it either. I have seen the way you two look at each other and it’s extremely obvious, even a blind person can tell you two are a couple”

 

 

Clarke bit her bottom lip not sure how to answer Luna “Lexa is special” unknown to her she was smiling despite the effort and Luna could practically see her eyes lit up and the mention of Lexa’s name

 

 

Luna smiled “Yeah she is, which brings me to my point if you hurt her in any way I will hunt you like a dog and gut you”

 

 

Clarke smiled not expecting Luna to say what she said “I promise I will never do that. Lexa means the world to me even if I only knew her for a short time”

 

 

Luna wiggled her eyes at Clarke drunkenly “So you like her?”

 

 

“I love her” Clarke smacked her hands over her mouth when she realized what she just said “I mean…..uh….i “

 

 

Luna actually laughed “Wow there that was the mother of all slip up” she breathed before her expression turned serious “Clarke, I don’t know you but I know Lexa and I can tell she feels the same just by the way she looks at you. The thing is Lexa is the kindest person I ever know, and she is been through a lot so please take care of her, she needs someone to do that because that girl doesn’t know how to do it. She takes care of everyone but herself. And I know She likes to act tough but she really is like a sweet puppy”

 

 

Clarke couldn’t help herself and giggled before looking back at Luna “How drunk are you exactly?”

 

 

Luna smiled too “I’d say pretty drunk. Drunk enough to tell you that I dated Lexa but even then she never looked at me the way she looks at you. Fuck dude really it’s like the sun shines from your ass or in your case from your pus…”

 

 

“Luna!!!!!” Clarke cut her off “Don’t you dare finish that sentence”

 

 

Luna scoffed “Please like you are any better. The both of you shares this look in your eyes that sais *I want to fuck you but the same time you are my whole world*. It’s very annoying if you ask me. I’m sure your friends hates it when you two act so sappy with each other and then pretend you are not a couple”

 

 

In the midst of their conversation the two women failed to notice the small knock on the door followed by Lexa entering which is the reason why they both jumped out of their skin when Lexa spoke “I see you two  are having fun”

 

 

Clarke has her hand over her racing heart “Babe seriously we need to put a bell on you. You scared the shit out of me”

 

 

“No uh. Not me” Luna interjected

 

 

Lexa raised a perfect plucked eyebrow at her “Right!, that’s why you jumped so hard I thought you would fall off the bed”

 

 

Luna mumbled under her breath something that sounded a lot like _asshole_ , but said thank you when Lexa gave her the water bottle.

 

 

Lexa moved closer to Clarke and took a hold of her hand before speaking to Luna “So how are you feeling?”

 

 

Luna groaned “I’m still tipsy but I’m sure I’ll be puking my guts out by morning”

 

 

“That good huh?” Lexa smiled

 

 

“Shut it Woods”

 

 

“So are you okay staying here alone for the night?” Clarke questioned

 

 

Luna nodded her head and waved Lexa and Clarke off “Yes, yes you two can go be lovey dovey somewhere else”

 

 

Lexa narrowed her eyes “You sure?”

 

 

“Yes Lexa I will be fine, you guys can go”.

 

 

“Okay if you say so”

 

 

                                                                             XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

Raven and Anya were back at their room after the party dialed down, the two of them talked and danced and had a great time with Anya pointing at people and Raven making her mission to guess what underwear they were wearing. It was all fun and games until Raven got a little too much to drink and got in to a bet with Anya over what kind of underwear a lady that Anya pointed out was wearing. 

 

 

“I’m telling you she is wearing a thong” Raven slurred

 

 

Anya made a voice from the back of her throat mocking Raven “I bet my ass she isn’t”

 

 

“Really?” Raven said before pulling her head back to check Anya’s ass and giving a slow motion very concealed slap to Anya’s butt “I’m in if you are”

 

 

Anya chocked on her drink “What!!” she exclaimed “Ray it’s just a saying”

 

 

Raven smirked mischievously “Oh I see how it is” she clicked her tongue against her teeth “Man who knew Anya Woods was all talk”

 

 

Anya with her fogged up brain from all the alcoholic cocktails she consumed with Raven thought it is a terrible blow to her ego, and even worst thought it would be a good idea to go along with it. She smirked knowing fully well there is no way in hell they could know what the lady was wearing because her husband was standing right next to her and the secret that Anya failed to let Raven know is that the lady is the police commissioner’s wife “Okay. I say she is not wearing a thong”

 

 

Raven’s giggled uncontrollably “Oh it’s so fucking on, and Anya since you are the one who bet her ass keep in mind the winner gets to tap the loser in the back yard. You are going to be my bitch tonight” Raven emphasized by thrusting her hips in the air

 

 

Apparently Anya didn’t count on how much  Raven wanted to win, because the second she turned her head Raven was gone. “Umm Raven” all the blood drained from her face when she saw Raven making her way to the commissioners wife who was to make things worse was standing with the commissioner, Indra her mother and Marcus her boss. Anya gave her glass to a waitress and sprang after her girlfriend “Fuck Raven wait!!!!!RAVEN!!!” _oh my fucking god we are screwed if Raven opened her mouth_

 

Raven stood in front of the lady and smiled sweetly, too sweetly “Hallo everyone”

 

Abby looked at her skeptically knowing that Raven was drunk. She had been around Clarke and her friends to know when they are drunk. she had infact took care of them on several several occasions, and drunk Raven is a no filter Raven which means shit is about to go down. Elizabeth and Indra noticed her too and smiled at her. Elizabeth spoke first “Hey Raven. Have you seen my daughter?”

 

 

Raven squealed “You mean Commander heart eyes? Nope I haven’t which means she is probably hiding behind one of the trees by now making princess sees starts”

 

 

“Um excuse me?” Elizabeth didn’t understand a single word Raven has uttered

 

 

“RAVEN!!” Anya came from behind her girlfriend “Hii everyone” Anya slurred “Would you mind if I steal Raven for a minute”

 

 

Raven pouted looking at Anya “But baby Lizzie and I were talking” she moved her attention back to Elizabeth “As I was saying Clarkey and Sexy Lexie are probably somewhere going at it like rabbits”

 

 

Elizabeth eyes widen at the mention of her daughter. Abby was chocking on her drink. Marcus was trying his best to stifle his laughter while Indra, Alexander, Gustus burst out laughing. The commissioner and his wife were looking between the adults and Raven not knowing what exactly was going on.

 

 

Anya in her drunken mind tried to whisper but her voice came out very loud everyone herd her “Shit Raven you are drunk. You can’t tell people’s parents their kids are having sex”

 

 

“Oh right sorry. But come on An everyone knows I mean sheshh if they wanted to keep it a secret they should stop with the eyes fucking already” Raven spoke in the same manner as her girlfriend. Again causing everyone to hear them and nod their heads in confirmation even Clarke’s mom who is still shell shocked

 

 

Anya shook her head “That’s beside the point” she took a hold of her girlfriend’s hand “Now come on let’s go to our room”

 

 

“Hell no!!” Raven whispered yelled “I want to win my best so either you ask the lady what kind of underwear she is wearing or I will”

 

 

Anya’s eyes widen “Nooo, But no we can’t. she is the commissioners wife. I will be demoted to traffic duty if we do that like this fast” Anya clicked her thump against her middle finger

 

 

Raven waved her off “That’s silly. No one would know. I could just go ask her” Raven tried to move her head but Anya stopped her, But if she hasn’t she would see the amusement and wide eyes stare the two of them were getting from the people around them.

 

 

“We can’t. my parents are with her so is my uncle and aunt they will have my ass before you win your stupid bet and they will, I repeat my Indra will kill me and feed me to the dogs so you won’t have any other parts of my body. No front door, no back door, No doors at all Raven” Anya spoke with so much convection Raven almost waivered her bet. Key point almost

 

 

“Babe woman up I will ask her, have some vagina” Raven chided

 

 

“Ray, it’s have some balls not vagina” Anya corrected

 

 

Raven laughed so hard she had tears running down her cheeks “Please why would it be have some balls. It’s the most sensitive area in a man’s anatomy. One knee up the crotch and a guy is doomed but a vagina now that thing can take some bounding” Ravne continued laughing “Get it”

 

 

“Uhummmm. I think it’s time for you girls to go up to your room” Indra commanded though everyone else was either horrified or trying their best not to laugh

 

 

“See what you have done Anya. They over heard us. Happy now” Raven shook her head

 

 

“Me!!. They heard you” Anya pointed at her

 

 

“Actually we heard the both of you” Elizabeth added

 

 

“Way too much for my comfort zone” Abby continued

 

 

Raven huffed “Fine. But one question though” she turned to the commissioner wife and edged closer to her. She looked around at all the panicked face ignoring them and leaned to whisper In the woman’s ear.

 

 

After what felt like the longest minute in history the woman’s cheeks turned red before she nodded her head and whispered something back in Raven’s ear. Raven’s eyes lit up before she mimicked an evil laugh and turned her attention to Anya, she cleared her throat and said in a very theatrical best Captin jack Sparrow mimicked accent “The black pearl is mine and so is your ass”  causing everyone to laugh hysterically and Anya to face palm.

 

                                                       

 

                                                                   XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

 

 

Clarke and Lexa were back in their room, Clarke made a move to go to the bathroom and change her cloth only for a gentle hand to stop her. Clarke looked up at Lexa and cerulean sky blue meet azure grey green eyes. They both smiled warmly at each other before Lexa spoke “I didn’t get to dance with you at the party so may I have this dance “ her hand were stretched palm up

 

 

Clarke’s heart gave a little tug in her chest “Only if I pick the song” After the night they had Clarke wanted to de stress and be silly with the woman she loves. She could see that Lexa have had her fill with drama to last her for a life time so she decided on playing something that could put a smile to the other woman’s lips instead of something romantic which why she choose Tegan and Sara- Where Does The Good Go. When Lexa nodded her agreement she reached for her phone and played the song smiling a little when she saw Lexa shake her head amusedly

 

 

Lexa stood there waiting for Clarke to put a song and her heat warmed when Clarke put the song. She could tell Clarke knew something was up with her and instead of forcing her to talk about it like her doctor she decided to put on a song and act silly to make her smile and come to her as a girlfriend when she is ready to talk about it

 

 

_Where Do You Go With_

_Your Broken Heart In Tow_

 

 

Clarke moved her head from right to left and opened her hands out for Lexa “Come on. I’m not doing it by myself. You were the one who wanted to dance”

 

 

_What Do You Do With_

_The Left Over You_

 

 

Lexa shook her head and smiled widely before moving her shoulders from right to left then back

 

 

_And How Do You Know_

_When To Let Go_

_Where Does The Good_

_Go_

 

“I love this” Lexa exclaimed

 

 

“Ready?!” Clarke shouted

 

 

_Look Me In The Eye And_

_Tell Me You Don’t Find Me_

_Attractive_

 

“I do” Clarke and Lexa shouted over the music.The two women jumped up and down, their hands flying in the air as they jumped happily with wide smiles on both their faces

 

 

_Look Me In The Heart And_

_Tell Me You Won’t go_

_Look Me In The Eyes And Promise_

_No Love Is Like Our Love_

 

Lexa bursted out laughing when Clarke checked her hips with her and the word, _I promise_ ran through her mind.

 

 

Clarke and Lexa danced all night throw, with the dim light coming from the moon and stars. They danced to silly songs and romantic songs until Clarke phone died and the moon light was replaced with the sun rays. They danced until the wee hours of morning without care on the world only being in each others arms.

 

 

 

“I think I’m falling for you, Doctor Clarke Griffin” Lexa whispered

 

“I think I’m falling for you too Detective Alexandria Woods” Clarke whispered

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to come have a chat or tell me your opinion you can find me on tumblr : @rubibd.tumblr.com


	20. I love You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven hits again with a not so good prank.  
> Clexa romantic picnic get away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Izzy4Clexa for always listning to me rambling about my writting and HapPpPpY BIRTHDAY :)
> 
> I triedd writing the most romantic thing i could think of so please guys tell me what you think
> 
> Enjoy reading!!!!

It was deadly silence In the wee hours of the night, not a sound can be heard, or anyone to be seen. Everyone was in their bedrooms asleep peacefully except for one Raven Reyes who was bored out of her mind. Raven kept tossing and turning she even tried counting sheep but it didn’t work. She huffed and turned to her left side facing Anya she could tell Anya wasn’t sleeping by her breathing patterns “Anya?”

 

 “Hum” Anya hummed trying her best to fall a sleep

 

“Are you asleep?” Raven whispered in a hushed voice

 

“Nope Why do you have something in mind” Anya wiggled her eyebrows suggestively

 

“As a matter of a fact I do” Raven said

 

“Yeah?” Anya said turning around and nuzzling her face in Raven’s neck before reaching out to squeeze her bottoms

 

“Not that, I want to prank someone” Raven said before grabbing Anya’s wrist to stop her from moving to the front of her pajama pants

“Pfff Raven please could you stop with that, I swear Lexa will skin us alive or shoot us if we try anything on her” Anya pulled back regarding her girlfriend closely, Raven seemed to be extremely bored and that alone made warning bells ring in Anya’s head. She knew Raven all too well and whenever Raven Reyes is bored things tend to go boom or worst Raven would want to prank someone. The incident from couple of months ago came to her mind. It was game night with their friends and Raven had started rambling about physics and chemistry with Jasper and Monty, It all came down to Raven to convinced one of their friends to bend down and fart with a lighter next to their ass (chemistry experience) Raven had said back then, and that’s how said friend ended up applying burn scream to their butt for a week. And let’s not forget the not so brilliant idea she had to prank Clarke and Lexa on Halloween.

 

 

Raven rolled her eyes “Well I’m not planning to prank Lexa and Clarke”

 

Anya’s brow frowned “Who then?”

 

Raven had one the goofiest smile ever “Have you noticed how calm and collected Lincoln always is”

 

“Yes, he is been like that ever since we were kids” Anya said still not understanding where Raven was going with this

 

“And so peaceful too, that’s why I was wondering how would he react when he is pissed off”

 

“Yeah? Ray I know that look. You are planning on doing something and I have a feeling I’m not going to like it very much” Anya narrowed her eyes trying to read what Raven was thinking about

 

Raven sat up and leaned her back on the headboard “Well since you asked, how about we prank Lincoln”

 

“Prank him? “ Anya repeated “What do you have in mind?”

 

“Oh there is something I always wanted to try” Raven beams with the most mischievous glint in her eyes

 

                                                    X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

 

Raven was walking on her tip toes trying to be as stealthy as she can be giggling every now and then. Anya was walking behind her doing a better job than her girlfriend but couldn’t wipe the smile out of her face every time she looked at Raven “Babe we need to stay quite so we won’t blow our cover”

 

“Okay, okay” Raven nodded

 

Anya stopped Raven before she could make another step and looked at her with a horrified expression “Fuck we forgot one very important thing Ray”

 

Raven looked at her questioningly “What?”

 

“They might be naked” Anya contemplated making a disgusted face “And I really don’t want to see my brother butt naked baby” she said with a whine

 

“Keep it down we don’t want to wake them up, and besides he is covered in blankets, we just need his feet” Raven says trying to convince her hesitant girlfriend. She already planned the park so there is no way in hell she is backing down now when they are this close to Lincoln’s and Octavia’s room

 

 Anya shakes her head “No uh fuck this shit I’m out babe. I’m too tired for this shit I should probably go back to sleep”

 

Anya didn’t even have the chance to turn before Raven grabbed her by the wrist “Don’t even dare. We are doing this and if you leave me here alone I swear I’ll stop massaging your scalp after we have sex”

 

Anya’s jaw went slack “You wouldn’t”

 

Raven smirked “Oh but I would”

 

“Fine” Anya huffed in annoyance “Lead the way”

 

The two of them finally came to a stop in front of the Octavia’s and Lincoln’s room. Raven nodded her head and Anya moved closer to the door. Anya put her ear on the door to check if the couple is actually asleep or not, when nothing but silence meet her, she raised a thumb up to Raven to gesture it’s all good. Anya then proceeded to gently open the door, she stopped in her movement when the door creaked but when no voice came from inside the room she continued.

 

Raven was watching her very carefully until the door was fully open. She grinned and made a little dance before stepping inside. When she was in front of Lincoln and Octavia’s bed she turned around “Do you have the lighter?”

 

Anya nodded a yes and pulled out a lighter with a small firecracker and a few tissues from her back pocket “Here you go”

 

Raven grinned like an idiot and accepted the objects thanking Anya with a kiss on the cheek “For someone who didn’t want to do this you awfully look like you are having a lot of fun”. She bent down and gently moved the covers off the sleeping Couples feet.

 

Anya watched as Raven pushed the tissues between Lincoln’s toes, and to her credit her fingers moved with so much precision it stopped Anya from wondering if Lincoln is going to wake up or not. Raven stood straight after checking her handy work “All good. You have the firecracker right?”

 

“Yeah”

 

Raven moved from one foot to the other too excited about her prank working. Before she sparked the lighter and lit the first tissue she signaled Anya to start filming. She moved quickly to stand next to her girlfriend on Octavia’s side of the bed.

 

“Maybe don’t shout in Octavia’s ears, she could jolt out of bed and hurt you” Anya said worriedly

 

“Please I know what I’m doing, I’m the master of pranks” Raven puffed her chest out

 

Raven Kissed Anya’s cheeks one more time before clearing her throat and leaning over Octavia “WE ARE UNDER ATTACK!!!!HELP!!” just as she lit the fire cracker and was about to throw it, Octavia jolted out of bed with so much force she butt headed Raven in the nose causing her to fall back to the ground. Raven lost her balance one hand rushing to cover her dripping nose while the other one let go of the fire cracker dropping it to the floor.

 

BOOOMMMMMMM

 

“Mather fucker!!” Raven cried out cradling her bleeding nose

 

“Son of a bitch!!” Octavia yelled from her place on the bed rubbing her temple

 

Anya was looking between her winey girlfriend, the fiery brunette woman on bed cursing like a sailor and Lincoln who was looking thoughtfully at all three woman before calmly reaching for his toes and putting out the lit tissues with the water bottle next to his night stand “Any one wants to tell me what’s going on in here?”

 

“Fucking Raven!!!! That’s what I would like to know too, Why did you scream in my ear? Why does Lincoln have burning tissues between his toes? And what THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN OUR ROOM WHILE WE ARE ASLEEP” By the time Octavia finished her face was red with rage

 

 

A whimper from the ground made Octavia’s eyes soften and Anya to finally come out of her shocked state. Anya immediately kneeled in front of Raven looking her over with concern “Baby are you okay?”

 

Raven shook her head no “Hurts thooo fucking much” She said voice muffled by her own hand

 

Anya rubbed soothing circles on Raven’s back trying to calm her down “Do you need to go to the hospital?”

 

“I’m fine” Raven said before standing up with Anya’s help and going to the mirror. Once she was there she took her hand off her nose and all four of them gasped at the blood dripping down profusely from her nose “Jesus fuck I was only messing around why would you have to deface me O!? Raven exclaimed

 

“So sorry Ray” Octavia looked somehow guilty for a moment until realization hit her “Wait no you asshole got what you deserved. How many times we have to talk about your stupid pranks? Seriously this time you maybe got a broken nose but next time someone might shoot your ass”

 

Lincoln came from behind Octavia warping her arms around the tiny brunette “O come one go easy on her I think she learned her lesson”

 

Octavia scoffed “Please it’s Raven we are talking about. I bet my own house this won’t be the last time she comes up with the shit like that”

 

Lincoln always the peaceful one whispered in Octavia’s ear “She is your best friend and now she is heart make you can get angry at her when she isn’t bleeding from her nose or suffering”

 

“You are too nice” Octavia smiled at her boyfriend before connecting their lips together

 

“Hey!!! Stop making out while I’m dying” Raven wined

 

Octavia rolled her eyes “You are not dying”

 

“I could be” Raven retorted back

 

“You are not” Octavia galred

 

“Let’s get some ice on that” Anya says then turns around apologetically “Sorry guys”

 

“Don’t worry about” Lincoln said than he nudged Octavia to say something ”Yeah sure just take care of your dick head girlfriend”

 

Anya shook her head “I’ll try”

 

“Hey I heard that” Raven looked at Anya over the hand covering her nose

 

Anya locked her eyes with Raven before speaking “The things I do for love”

 

 

 

                               XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXxx

 

Lexa was having one of the times of her life. She was out in the woods looking up up at beautiful cloudless blue sky with Clarke and everything around them felt magical like they were somehow in their own movie far away from their reality. The birds were cheeping away happily above their heads, grasshoppers clicking in the fresh frisk air, trees standing up proudly with green branches fanning out from every corner making a great shelter if someone wanted to take a rest from the heat of the sun which was cascading it’s rays on them in a magnificent light glow making both Clarke’s and Lexa’s bodies glint under its heat. The weather was beautiful not too cold or too hot just like an early spring day. You can practically feel the fresh air going through your longs, do to having no population in this area.

 

Lexa took a deep breath and slowly let it out, she chuckled for what felt like the dozen’s time this morning once hearing the heavy stomping noises. Clarke was behind her grumbling and talking to herself while trying to catch her breath. She can hear the angry huff and the slow footsteps coming from behind her “You okay back there Clarke”

 

“Peachy ………just………. freaking peachy” Clarke said sounding out of breath, her face was so red and she was panting like a dying animal

 

 

Lexa bit her lips to stop herself from letting out another laugh, she didn’t want Clarke to think she was laughing at her even thought she was “Hey don’t give me the stink eye Clarke, you said yes to going for a picnic”

 

“Yes a romantic one with hands holding and stolen kisses not an athlete hike one that includes me walking a million mile” Clarke bit back, you can’t really blame the poor girl she is a therapist which mean all her time is spend talking to her patients while sitting in a comfy chair

 

“Lexa couldn’t keep it any longer and she let out a chuckle “It’s not that bad Clarke come on it’s just up the hill, and once we are there we can do all you said with lots and lots of kisses”

 

“Lexa!!!! You have been saying that for the last 20 minutes”

 

Lexa tilted her head to Clarke at her gorgeous girlfriend “That’s because we didn’t make any progress since the last time you asked me”

 

“I should start going to the gym again if I want to keep up with you” Clarke adds more of an after though

 

“Maybe we can go together?”

 

“Yeah like I would be able to do anything while watching you train in the gym” Clarke mumbled under her breath

 

The two finally reached the top of the hill and Clarke’s jaw hit the floor. The view was to die for, she could see the town and the sea surrounding it and the woods that mixed so well with the place making it look like heaven, but what caught her attention was the blanket with a big basket sitting on top near the edge. “You did this” Clarke asked with awe in her voice

 

Lexa interlocked their fingers and lead Clarke to the blanket “Yes, I wanted to surprise you. You like it?” she asked somehow nervously searching Clarke’s face for any hint of discomfort

 

“I love it” Clarke smiled reassuringly and kissed Lexa on the cheeks

 

Lexa blushed furiously even the tip of her cute tiny ears were all red by the time Clarke detached her lips from Lexa’s cheek. She never knew she could blush this much before meeting Clarke, or be this nervous about going on a romantic picnic with her girlfriend, not to mention the stuttering and rambling that she really didn’t know where they came from. She always pride herself for being levelheaded, always thinking with her head and not her heart through the toughest situation but all that changes once she laid her eyes on Clarke’s. it’s like when Blue meet  grey green it caused a shift in the world and the two soul mates found each other.  Like the world fell on its axes and suddenly everything hurt a little less, every day spent with Clarke the pain is lesser than the day before and that in itself speaks volume of their connection. Being with Clarke made Lexa’s sappy romantic self come out In full force  “You do?”

 

“I really do thank you. Now come show me what you have in that humongous basket” Clarke tugged Lexa to finally sit on the blanket

 

Lexa sighed in relief, she was smiling lopsidedly and gave herself a pat on the back mentally for preparing this surprise for Clarke. She brought the basket next to them and started taking stuff out of it. There was a bottle of red wine with glasses, different kind of cheese, grapes, fruit, couple of sandwiches, Chocolate, strawberry and finally wiped cream “Wow you went through all that trouble of preparing everything and bringing it here just for me” Clarke eyes sparkled and she felt like she was going to cry at how special Lexa makes her feel

 

Lexa squeezed her hand and smiled “Of course I did, you are worth a lot more” Lexa squealed in the middle of her sentence, smiled so wide it was splitting her face “I also brought a few candelas”

 

Clarke raised an eyebrow at the squealing “A few? You and I have a different definition of that word. Also the sun is still up you do realize that right?”

Lexa rolled her eyes and huffed with annoyance at not being able to lit her candles “I’m aware of that, we can use the candles when the sun goes down at night”

 

Clarke smirked before schooling her expression and trying her best to look serious when she asked her next question “Baby I am afraid to ask but do you have a candles addiction that I don’t know about?”

 

Lexa smiled shyly “Maybe. I just can’t help it Clarke candles are amazing and they literally brightens everyone’s day”

 

“Right well than i guess I know what I will buy you for Christmas this year” Clarke said sarcastically

 

Lexa’s eye widened with joy and excitement like a little kid “Really?? Well there was this new ones I wanted to buy but Anya won’t let me. They are scented they have this……..…. Why are you laughing?”

 

Clarke’s face was red from how hard she was trying to keep her laughter at bay “Because I was joking about it Lexa , besides I don’t think I will feed  your candles addiction. Not that you need any one to I think you have reached the maximum level of candle addiction. I mean your apartment is a fire hazard”

 

Lexa pouted “That’s not nice Clarke. Not nice at all to get my hopes up like that”

 

“Oh baby come here” Clarke hugged Lexa wrapping her arms tightly around Lexa’s back and kissing her pout away “Better”

 

Lexa smiled into their kiss “Nope more kissing please”

 

It was Clarke’s time to chuckle now “Goof “

 

After their make out session the two settled on the blanket eating the food Lexa brought and talking intimately to get to know each other better. They stayed like this until the sun started its descend cascading an orange light on the horizon. Clarke felt her fingers itching to draw this great view but she didn’t bring any of her equipments, the thought of not being able to capture the scene in front of he made her smile disappear. She really wanted to committed to her memory. A clearing of a throat brought her back from her memory and she turned her head to look at Lexa

 

“I….uh thought you might like this” Lexa searched through the basket and pulled out a note book and couple of pencils to give to Clarke

 

“Thank you” Clarke said before diving in and giving Lexa another soft kiss to the lips

 

Clarke got to work immediately, out lining the view and drawing it. She finished her drawing in a record time before looking at Lexa. What she saw caused the butterflies in her stomach to erupt. Lexa was leaning on the palms of her hands, her head held up high while her eyes are closed and Clarke felt a different kind of itch run through her fingers. The light from the sun was like an aura around Lexa, like some kind of divine halo, and Clarke was sure more than anything in her life if angels existed than Lexa is for sure one of them. Clarke was about to say something when Lexa beat her to it

 

 “It’s beautiful isn’t it” Lexa opened her eyes to look at the view

 

Clarke was still staring at Lexa when she said “Breathtaking”

 

Lexa turned around and saw Clarke blushing while looking at her with so much love in her eyes, and just then something melted in Lexa’s heart she reached out and gently guided Clarke’s face closer to hers. The moment their lips brushed everything faded for them both. Their lips connected and it was the most tentative kiss the two has ever shared. A kiss full of love and devotion. Clarke’s hands slowly lifted to Lexa’s neck and tangled with the baby hair there.

 

Lexa’s hand affectionately gravitated to Clarke’s cheeks caressing them with the tips of her fingers. Clarke moaned into Lexa’s mouth when Lexa’s tongue run over her bottom lip “Your kiss is better than chocolate” that earned Lexa another moan and she involuntarily canted her hips up searching for friction.

 

Clarke and Lexa’s breath both hitched. Clarke broke the kiss and leaned back “I’m sorry. Is it too much”

 

Lexa exhaled and rested her head on Clarke’s. She closed her eyes knowing she needs all the courage she has to say what she was thinking “ Don’t apologize, it was me. Clarke you lightened up my life when i couldn't see anything but darkness. You trusted me and believed in me. You gave my another chance and I think I’m ready to take our relationship to the next level. But, But only if you are ready too”

 

Clarke searched Lexa face for any signs of hesitation or uncertainty but when she didn’t find any hint of those she connected her lips with Lexa again with all the passion and love she has for the girl in front of her hoping to convey what she’s feeling without saying them.

“Is that a yes” Lexa asked a little breathless from her position on the blanket with Clarke on top of her

 

Clarke kissed her one more time “It’s a hell yes”

 

Lexa wrapped her legs tightly around Clarke and pushed forward changing their position so that Clarke was the one on her back. Clarke made a noise from the back of her throat that sounded a lot like a moan and Lexa felt her heart racing in her ribcage. Lexa pulled back taking her shirt off a throwing on the blanket.

 

Clarke gasped at the look of Lexa’s flat stomach, her hands having a mind of their own reached out and caressed the warm skin there, she could feel Lexa’s muscles twitching under her fingers. She looked up at Lexa from under her thick lashes when Lexa’s hand reached her own top. She nodded fervently and sat up to make it easier for Lexa to remove her top

 

Lexa’s eyes bulge out of their sockets at seeing Clarke creamy white skin and her full bra clad boobs on display, she licked her lips and tried to calm her racing heart down cause by the way it’s beating she was more than sure she is going to have a heart attack “You are so beautiful”

 

Clarke locked her eyes on Lexa’s intense one that were now full of desire and hunger “You are more than beautiful yourself”

 

They both looked and each other while their hands worked and unbuttoning the other’s pants. Together they pulled their pants down with their eyes locked on each other. They got rid of their under wears folding them neatly on the blanket before resuming their positions with Clarke lying down and Lexa on top of her. Lexa looked down at Clarke’s full body on display all her curves and all the little imperfections that made Clarke perfect in Lexa’s eyes. She laid down pushing skin on skin and just like that the two women felt electricity jolts throw both their bodies. Lexa was shaking from all the emotion she was feeling. Clarke could sense that and hugged her tightly bringing Lexa to her chest and wrapping her arms around her shoulder “I’ve got you”

 

Lexa nodded before she nuzzled her face in Clarke’s neck and sucking on Clarke’s pulse point. She nipped and sucked and licked all the way from Clarke’s collar bone to her jaw to her her ear before going back to claiming Clarke’s lips

 

Clarke’s hand were soft rubbing up and down Lexa’s back and thighs, she could feel heat polling between her legs just like she could feel the heat polling between Lexa’s legs .The two kissed more feverishly  sucking lips and touching bodies leaving Igniting goose bumps and hot trails in their path. Lexa was panting in Clarke’s ear and Clarke was nipping on her neck.

 

“Togther” Lexa whispered in Clarke’s ear and took Clarke hand leading her between where she wanted them the most while her own hand was in front of Clarke’s entrance “I want to do this together”

 

Clarke nodded her head for confirmation and that was all Lexa needed before her fingers found Clare’s slick heat. She ran her finger up and down spreading the wetness to Clarke’s bundle of nerve. Lexa’s motion was in synced with Clarke’s. She circled the bundle of nerve a couple of more time earning a couple of moans which Lexa wasn’t sure if they were coming from her or Clarke before going down and pushing her fingers slowly into Clarke. Their mouth connected to swallow the loudest of moans and Lexa felt Clarke’s finger entering her at the same time while the other one was still rubbing soothing circles on her back grounding her. Lexa pushed two fingers in and out while she moved her head to capture on of Clarke’s pink nipples in her mouth “Lexa!!” Clarke moaned, and if Lexa thought her heart was beating fast before, now she was sure that’s what The Flash’s heart sounds like when he runs. Her thought stopped when she felt Clarke’s inner walls starting to squeeze her fingers and she speed her movement.

 

Clarke was on edge, it was really embarrassing of how fast she was close to an orgasm but she didn’t care at all because that was Lexa touching her and brining her to orgasm. She speed her fingers inside Lexa and rubbed her palm against  Lexa’s clit every time she pushed her hands all the way in hoping she is not the only one with an approaching orgasm but judging on how Lexa’s walls were fluttering around her, she guessed Lexa isn’t faring any better

 

Clarke breath quickened, her back was arching off the blanket seeking more friction. She could feel Lexa’s long slender fingers reaching that special spot in her driving her crazy. Clarke closed her eyes as starts and galaxies exploded behind them

 

“Open your eyes and look at me “ Lexa asked seeing Clarke like this so flushed and in the throes of pleasure was mesmerizing. She could feel Clarke’s hands touching her, pleasing bringing her to the edge but she wanted to focus on Clarke’s pleasure not her own.

 

Clarke opened her eyes staring at Lexa and it was the last thing she needed before tumbling over the edge. “Lexa!!!!!!!” Her finger nails dug into Lexa’s back, thought the other hand was still working on bringing Lexa to ecstasy. Just like Lexa’s fingers slowed down their rhythm to ease her from her blessed state

 

Watching Clarke with her mouth shaped into an O and the blessed expression on her face also the fact she was saying Lexas name like a prayer send Lexa over the edge. Her emotions got the best of her and she screamed Clarke’s name into the night “Clarke!!!!”.

 

Clarke kept her fingers inside giving shallow thrust until she felt Lexa’s body shaking, she pulled her head up to stare at Lexa still covering her face in Clarke’s chest “Lexa are you okay?” when she got no respond she continued “Baby your body is shaking” Clarke ran her fingers over Lexa’s hair and pushed it to one side “Lex”

 

“I love you” Lexa whispered voice cracking

 

Clarke’s eye turned comically wide, did she hear right? Did Lexa say what she thinks she heard her say? She wanted to scream I love you too but she wasn’t sure if maybe her brain was just playing cruel jokes on her. She felt something that made her freeze. Something wet was coming from Lexa’s eyes to Clarke chest. “Lexa?” Clarke gently pulled Lexa face up to meet her and when blue meet grey green her breath got caught in her chest. Lexa’s green eyes were full of tears, with trails on her cheeks signaling that she was crying her eyes out not just tearing up “Honey why are you crying?”

 

All the emotions were running wild inside Lexa, she is used to suppress them in favor of her indifference cold mask. But now though, now Lexa’s emotion were getting the best of her and no matter how much she tried she couldn’t control them. Her emotions were so overwhelming they ranged from Happy, blessed, to feeling lucky to Loved she felt so overwhelming love that it surprised her so much she felt it chocking her, until her mouth opened on it’s own violation and spoke those three words eight letters “I love you” she said over and over again.

 

Clarke wiped Lexa’s tears and she felt her own tears stinging her eyes. Her heart tugged painfully in her chest “I love you too”

Lexa and Clarke hugged each other tightly, both feeling loved beyond any word can describe. Lexa smiled through her tears and thanked her lucky starts for having Clarke in her life. A chilly wind passed by making the two shiver, they decided to get dress and lay back again on the blanket. The sun had fully set down now and the sky flittered with starts. They lay together cuddling under the vast sky. Lexa finally able to calm down her emotions and form a coherent sentence, looked up at Clarke’s ocean deep eyes and smiled lovingly “Please don’t leave me”

 

Clarke squeezed Lexa’s hand before saying “I will never. I meant it when I said I love you Lexa”

 

“I love you too Clarke” Lexa said and thought to herself, _until my dying breath Clarke I’ll love you always and forever._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If there is anything you guys would like to see i'm open to suggestions


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